bananas in the summerthere are shadows walking on my walls and their legs are longer than their bodies and they only move around when you call me.bananas in the summer in Short Stories More Like This
"Jesus, Mary," you say which i think is kind of fucked up because you don't believe in jesus and i borrowed his mother's name (she was a whore do you hear me a goddamn whore).
you only say that when you don't know what to say and i don't say anything and sometimes you are sighing and sometimes you are smiling and i get really uncomfortable when you sigh and i feel kind of sticky between my thighs and if i ever told you that you would smile and say, "Jesus, Mary." and i would cry and wear my hair in braided pigtails.
one time i told you my skull was getting smaller and you said maybe you're crazy Mary, maybe you should see a shrink which you thought was a pun and you laughed but i didn't think it was funny.
when i was thirteen i let the perkins' boy take my panties off with his sweaty hands and stick his tongue under my dress and i remember the thick pulse in t
the bitter things1. three months is a long time for something to be gone she says. three months is a long time to keep the bones in my back a secret and she would be the one to find them. she says they're structured like they're beautiful and maybe they are, but it makes me sickthe bitter things in Philosophical More Like This
2. i listened to her loving me and it would only make sense that i'd listen to her love him as well. it would only make sense that it would happen like this. i think about falling asleep while he's spitting breath all over you and it's not right, it's just not right. the saddest part of it is that i'm not mad because i love you, i'm mad because it's not fair that i couldn't have it. just twenty minutes of his thick-lipped dignity falling from my ribs. i hope his breath billows through your mouth and you catch something awful. i hate both of you. i hate you i hate you i hate you
3. it is true that i found god in you. it is true that when you raise your hand and cry i cry too. it is true that i have eyes that break for what break
buttercup, sugarspice.she is lost when you suggest that railroad tracks never end and if they did they would only end where they started. she doesn't believe in complex things like dimensions or caffeine or circles.buttercup, sugarspice. in General Fiction More Like This
she believes in things that flutter like cardinal wings and nicotine binges.
i watched her collect rain in an empty beer bottle and i didn't ask her why but she told me anyway, because you have to save some rain for sunny days, you know, you've got to have something to chase the sunshine away. i told her i thought that was what beer was for and she told me it was just for making insecurities unapparent and fitting in at parties.
she tore her pictures down and pinned her mother's clothes to the walls and started wearing her hair up all the time so everyone could see her pearls. she tried to peel her skin off in front of you and she cried because her fingernails weren't sharp enough. (she wore them down with her teeth when she couldn't see because her eyes were shut and she didn't believe you.
dalliancethis is an afternoon affair.dalliance in Free Verse More Like This
complete with sun slanting
through closed blinds
and an awful awareness of age.
she's fumbling through piles of clothes
talking about shit i don't care about, no doubt.
and all i can think about is fucking her. so i call her over to me
i am conscious of her body
beneath me but i am fucking
myself more than anything-
i dig and i dig and i dig
and i know it's hurting her,
i can hear it in her desperate doe moans
but i don't stop because there's not
any other FUCKING way to feel better.
she loves it in a broken way
but hell i just hate it. it's not
even sexy anymore. her lips are too soft
and she knows it too. she feels inferior
and jesus christ
i've never known her to feel anything more true.
and so i am seventeen and i feel every
inch of it. i realize that i am straddling
an italian style isthmus between peace and freedom.
you can never have both
(i love you so i won't bother
you with the truth. that would be
a selfish thing for me to do-
to fuck he
bastard and the beastwe were in a room full of chinabastard and the beast in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
just you & i
and i said hey, don't you go anywhere
and there was a low growl fornicating in my stomach
your eyes flashed bright on me
and my eyes narrowed on you and
it wasn't about my friend
or the murder
or your psychosis
it was that you left me
with my own psychosis
sagging heavily from my shoulder
and i hated you
and we were in a room full of china
you & i
your skull felt sweet along my knuckles
your blood tasted sweet on my hungry skin
my honest nature with an angel's head
and a mouth full of slobbering sex
i mounted you
i was moved by your defeat
my eyes sang salt and salvation over
my bare and bouncing breasts
and i shattered your body against the glass
and i hated you
just you & i.
we were in a room full of china
when i murdered you.
sorryundead undone unloved,sorry in Free Verse More Like This
all of these words hold
little value to me
fifteen months and little to show for it
i am just as fierce as ever and you are
just as passionless. i used to love you
for your passion and now that it is gone,
i love a shell
if you have ever loved a shell,
you will understand that every
thing you put in it dies.
not the usualtoday i looked in the mirror and i saw thatnot the usual in Free Verse More Like This
i am growing up. it was the saddest thing
i have ever had to see
i remember the day i started growing up. i was
six or seven, and my daddy let me loose on the
four wheeler in the backyard. what an american childhood
anyway i was wearing a pink shirt and jeans
and i was singing a song to myself and it was about
jumping off a bridge in chicago. it's not that i
was really aware of suicide or love or anything,
just that something could make a person want to be
in the water so bad that they jumped off a bridge
and suddenly they were happy even though they weren't breathing.
it was kind of like that
and here i am! here i am. i have had four people know me enough
to call me fire or bitch or buddy or baby. one is gone one is
casual one is part of my soul and the other is one hell of a trip,
and i'm still on it. i have bled to bleed,
fucked to fuck, and lied to feel better. i have cried over dead
cats and fish and dumb dogs. i have mastered calculus a
on yesterdaythere are still places in meon yesterday in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
that should not be still
a drink and a smoke and
a drink and a pill,
i think and a smoke and
a sink and i spill
a day when i
the missus and the mister
drive calm in their corvette,
her hair protected with a net-
his eyes cast narrow past her neck,
they are not tall where they are short.
and was yesterday
a day when i was
keen of all
a body at a top of a hill must come down
there is no right, or left,
a soul at the top of the hill must
fall and shatter.
small beaches carry my weight
in unreturned breaths,
i carry my stomach and have yet
to frame my beloved for my murder.
and the kind men remain kinder, too kind-
for if i am tired, i will surely sleep.
if i am bored, i shall surely wander.
if i am sad, i will merely weep.
kind men, hearts all asunder,
purge your efforts on some
and close your eyes, soundly.
remain deaf and dumb to the
fruits of salt and cum
was surely a day
where my bones would ki
anticipating tomorrowtomorrow i am sureanticipating tomorrow in Free Verse More Like This
will be full of
a lot of things
we've been through
i want to fuck you the way
that i yell at you
i want to touch you the way
that i beat my head into
a concrete wall because i was feenin' and
you made it easy to be mad.
i don't want to cry until after.
i want to put my hands on both your shoulders and
slide them against your skin. it will come off
if i rub too hard.
you walk around,
thinking that no one will be able to tell what
you are underneath but i know what
you are underneath.
you are a slimy little sweetheart
i meant it before and i mean it now
i just wish you'd quit trying to be so goddamn tough all the time
but i can play tough too.
i want to look in your eyes the whole time
and they won't be surrendered to the sweet eye fog that sentimental sex makes,
i will be sharp
i will be the hawk
you are the snake
i'm going to fucking
how tall is god, do you thinksometimes i get so scared, right? so i get scared and i turn into this class a weirdo who's got the shakes and the shivers and the quakes and the quivers and i get all crazy, right? i get crazy and i start thinkin. and one time this happened while i was driving my little brother to art camp and there's this really tall building downtown, right? jade, you listenin? allright well there's this tall building.how tall is god, do you think in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
and i was going crazy and thomas was pointing at it and he asked me johnny why is that building so tall? and i said thomas i don't know, i just don't know. and he said how tall do you think it is? i said tall enough to die if you fell off of it. and he got scared too, that i said that, that i talked about dying. because all he knew of dying was that my mother said it was like catholic school because everyone sings a lot and once you go there you can't have sex anymore and you never come back. that's what thomas knew of dying so i said it's probably a thousand feet tall. and he said jo