Mom's Death DaySo I deleted my latest journal about this jerk off who blocked me , I did not want to write about him anyways . My plan was to write about my mom , it is now exactly 11 years to the day that she died , on Monday September 23rd at 5:48 pm how do I know exactly ? Well , I have a copy of her death certificate which my dad gave me for my birthday anyways I wrote this poem about her and wanted to share it here :Mom's Death Day in Personal Journal More Like This
Mother you gave me life
You're the beacon of light
You taught me wrong from right
I learned so much from you
You're my teacher , my mentor and more
Always lending a helping hand
When I didn't understand
Protecting me from harm , safety I've found in your arms
You're my sister , my best friend til the end
Because you always loved me for who I am .
Suicide...Just...SuicideSometimes, I have moments where suicide seems like a good idea. That if I end it now the pain will end; taking the cowards route just seems so easy. I would love to look on from my grave as the haters, the watchers, the judges realise what they have done.Suicide...Just...Suicide in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Sometimes, I need someone to realise that when I say I'm fine, I'm not. All it needs is a whispered affection, a quick embrace, the surety that someone does in fact care that you are here. When that person isn't around, I think to myself how, in the grand scheme of things, I mean nothing and I would be better off six feet under.
Then, I remember.
If I die, that's it. For all the pain I'm going through, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel - a soft breeze, a flower, a beautiful haze over the top of a mountain in midsummer. If I die, I won't feel anything but that includes the good. I guess I'd like to suffer the pain and, at
GriefI shiver as a breeze rushes down my neck, a feeling like an icy claw scratches at my skin. The heavy weight on my mind presses down, threatening to flatten me to the ground. A constant ebb on my strength makes me tired, it's like I can't think, I can't do anything.Grief in Emotional More Like This
I can't cope.
My eyes involuntarily water as I try to hold back the inevitable tears. I don't quite know how to act, I'm usually good at this! The ache has been here for a while but now the moment has passed, it's impossible to know exactly what to do, to say. The world has gone completely mad! I need to be strong for others but I feel overwhelmed myself - what to say...how to say it...
Everything has been so fast! The constant hum in my head makes it difficult to talk properly.
I choke as someone asks:
'How are you?'
Not even raising my eyes I reply.
SeasonsI’ve always loved summers.Seasons in Emotional More Like This
Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve loved the sunshine. I was MADE for heat, you know? I would go out all day with friends, have water fights and wish my life away. It was happiness in its purest form.
Then again, I’ve always liked autumn.
Watching the amber fire leave the trees and float down to be extinguished on the cruel Earth, all the while not being fully able to wait until the moment the process was complete as that was when I could jump into the ashes.
Winter is pretty cool (literally).
The snow glistening on the sleeping foliage conjures up images of delicate fairies and sprites, dancing to keep warm in the seemingly ever-present frost. It is a delightful idea, one that inspires more and more artists every second. So many pieces of artwork are conceived under this bewitching spell.
Ah, but spring is something special…
All the new life! Yes, I know how clichéd that is but hear me out. Who can truly say that a new life i
Yeah, I'm OKI’m fine.Yeah, I'm OK in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I’m not fine.
I’ve just got a cold.
I feel like I’m dying inside.
I guess I’m just tired.
I was up all night talking him out of committing.
I had an accident with a felt tip.
Damn, I let them see the cut.
Sure, my friends are doing well.
Well, they’re alive.
It is my hay fever. It's awful this time of year.
I've been crying almost constantly for months.
Nah, I don’t need any help.
I need help. Man do I need help.
It's OK, everything's sorted.
I can’t believe I let it get worse.
I can’t do anything…
OverratedCLICK!Overrated in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Everything came to light in a heartbeat. There were explosions everywhere, vivid colours lighting up the world. In the distance, a baby could be heard bawling, an anxious child screaming, a machine gun firing.
In the foreground, a soot blackened firefighter was focused on as he ran dramatically against the apocalyptic scene, sweat dripping from his photogenic brow.
The world around him blurred as another shell came hurtling through the hazy air towards him. Elegantly, he was thrown backwards into deceptively hard looking rubble by the sheer force of the blast but, apart from a small split lip and the increased prominence of dirt on his jaw, he was mercifully yet unsurprisingly healthy.
Meanwhile, a young heroine gazes wistfully into the distance...She wants him back. Her sleek, curled hair blows in a breeze that affects nothing else in the shot. Silence. A moment of longing before returning to the firefighter again.
He is running, another shell races towards him...
It's Not That EasyPeople say that depression is a choice. They smirk at you with their wicked little smiles and laugh their lives away, their happiness taunting those who don't have it as easy. While we are lying in hospital beds being told that we are incurable due to a mental illness, they are out there saying that psychology makes no sense and all you have to do is cheer up.It's Not That Easy in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
It's not that easy.
Some people have no idea what it is like to be in a room with someone who thinks that you are insane. That looks at you like all they can see is a piece of dirt that has been smeared on the bottom of their shoe for too long. That speaks to you like you are three, like you are stupid for being sad. People don't understand what it is like to be judged every day of your life for being the girl who hides her scars in the PE changing room, the one who only talks to her closest friends because she is sick of being stabbed in the back. They say to see someone, to talk it out
Hope and InspirationBreathe and open your eyes. See what is there. Don't just look, really SEE. What do you observe?Hope and Inspiration in Philosophical More Like This
An old water glass? No, for that isn't actually a glass. It is an indicator of somebody's optimistic slant, it is a psychological examination of a person's inner self.
A violin? No, for that isn't just a mere musical instrument. It is a router than enables us to see within each others' souls and feel what each other feels when words cannot be spoken.
A lowly quill? No, for that is not just a writing instrument. It is a sword which can prick at the heart and cause immeasurable strength or pain and must be used wisely.
A sunset? No, for that is not just an infusion of light and colour. It is the emotion we feel in the best and worst of times. It is a reminder that the world keeps on spinning no matter what and we are part of something a whole lot bigger.
Do you understand? If not, perhaps listen to the music of the wind and interpret the feelings of the nymph that plays the melody on it's har
Last WordsDearest Love,Last Words in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I regret that I can’t be with you at this time, I long for you day and night but yet I cannot join you. The gap between us cannot be bridged any time soon, I am afraid. No, don’t follow me; you are better off staying where you are.
I’m sorry that I didn’t get time to say goodbye but please rest assured that I left while thinking of you. Understand that I would have given anything to watch you and our children continue to grow and change but of course that isn’t going to happen now. Please make the most of that, darling, and make sure our children are the happiest they can be.
The few years I’ve had with you have been the best of my life. Before that, I was alone and only the half of myself. You gave me more in those years than most get in a lifetime and I thank you for that. Don’t blame yourself for what happened, please.
Remember the time that we went on a trip, just you and me, to the forest mid-autumn? I remember every moment.
You Should Have Seen It ComingHeart thumping, Martha slid into her seat and opened her desk to pull out a small, pink envelope. Raising it to her lips, she inhaled the scent, it was him through and through. Holding it tight, she began to open it, taking care not to crease the immaculate paper. She exhaled slowly, trying not to go mad with excitement. She had a good idea what it contained, she had been looking for a dress behind his back for months...The moment had finally come!You Should Have Seen It Coming in Short Stories More Like This
The first day of work some years earlier had been challenging to say the least. What with a stern boss who didn't seem to understand jokes, never mind appreciate them along with rather challenging workmates, Martha was ready just to give up. Then, things changed when Jacob waltzed in a week or so later.
'I don't think I've seen you about before.' he laughed. 'Fresh meat?' Martha laughed shyly.
'Aw, c'mon, don't be shy! I'm not a bogeyman or anything! '
'Sorry, I'm a little overwhelmed 'tis all. I've not seen you around here eith
I Love YouI love you.I Love You in Emotional More Like This
I know you will likely never read this but I want to write it anyway. Just so that I know my heart is still beating enough to feel it.
I thought you broke me.
You didn’t do a good enough job.
You hurt me enough to rip up my heart and crush my head yet you left one little nerve in place, a nerve that still loves you despite everything.
You are one of my closest friends and even now I tell you pretty much everything yet you are also one of my greatest enemies who I have to hide from every moment of every day. When I see you, I want nothing more than to just hold you forever, to kiss you and never part, to have you be mine and me be yours.
Yet, I have to cover all of that up with layers of a shell that is growing thicker every day.
The one thing I want most besides for you to mine and me to be yours is for you to be happy. You can’t be happy with me. I wish you could be but you can’t, so leave me behind.
I’m begging you.
Leave me and live your own life