NecrophiliaHow can I look you in the eye,Necrophilia in Free Verse More Like This
When mine are dead?
You would take my breath away,
But it's already gone.
I cannot give you warmth,
Or gentle company
So why do you stay?
I'm Aware Of It, Thank YouI'm being hauntedI'm Aware Of It, Thank You in Free Verse More Like This
By the spider in the
Corner of my eye.
There it is now,
Crawling in the curtains
Only to evaporate away
At the turning of my gaze.
How dare you taunt me!
You play elusive,
But I know you are just waiting,
Waiting until I forget,
so you can sit on my head.
Its not going to happen.
I will carry you with me,
Like a splotch on my soul,
Until you too die
With the rest of it.
PonderingsI wonder sometimesPonderings in Free Verse More Like This
Why the sky doesn't go away.
Everything else seems to leaves me.
Why not it too?
I Hear YouI live this life,I Hear You in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
At my personality.
They might fix me up
But I'll always be
Pulling at the stitches.
You can't tell me
What lies ahead
And you know nothing
Of the past.
So why should I trust you now?
Singing sweet lullabye in my head,
My dreams are my only friend.
Get the fuck away from me
And leave me in my peace.
I'll sleep forever.
Can they see
What is left of me?
Oh no, oh no.
They never saw,
Ill climb these stairs
Where does this path lead me,
And why should I follow
When I can't even breathe?
Give me something more.
You told me,
You'd be here forever.
Now your gone.
Why should I stay?
Why should I stay?
You can't tell me
What lies ahead
And you know nothing
Of the past.
So why should I trust you now?
They might fix me up
But I'll always be
Pulling at the stitches.
I'm So Happy For YouJoyous occasion,I'm So Happy For You in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
For all those around me
Who have found.
I don't even wish to find;
I know I'll be just fine,
Just want to sew close wound,
Erase the pain.
It's amazing that I still can feel
Anything that is not seeping ill.
But yet again it always was.
Before I fade away like crystal sand,
Let the breeze assure you.
My heart is in the right place
Even if it is under your pillow case.
Come from the clouds...Eyes towards the clouds on the invisible horizonCome from the clouds... in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
You glide past
Without noticing the notice you cause
A sad, yet loving stare,
The simplest things obtain.
Could cause the most random happiness.
What do you think one word could do?
The TruthDeath hangs over me like a curtain,The Truth in Free Verse More Like This
A drawn curtain, but a curtain still;
Light may spill out around it,
But I will still wallow in its shadow.
I'll lie here on my bed,
Conceiving to do myself away,
While time sands in the end,
And I'm left with nothing
But the clock's breath wasted.
Attempts become more and more feeble,
But still I dream thoughts
Most would call nightmare;
A warm, happy sensation floods me,
As I think of my blood spilling.
You cannot fix me,
For I came this way.
Do not try to help me,
I'll only get in your way.
You've heard it time and time again, unclearly.
But I thought you'd like the hear the plain truth,
About your oh-so fucked-up friend.
We're All F'ckedThe dust of time oils your brainWe're All F'cked in Free Verse More Like This
Crackling with every turn of the cogs
Making any formulation troublesome.
You try to warn me over the noise,
But the crackling and the winds of youth
Roar too harmoniously for me to hear.
Center RingI shot a man today.Center Ring in Free Verse More Like This
Yes, he's dead.
Shot him in the head,
The attention starved sharks won't leave me alone,
And no one will believe me.
All the proof that I'm crazy, my lawyer says.
I know I should have kept silent and followed the flashing lights
But I just can't stand the glint in their hungry eyes
As I tell them my blood stained volume.
I shot a man today.
Yes, he's dead.
Shot him in the head,
I will take what is coming to me,
But this transaction has more hands in between.
Its a wonder how anyone concentrates on their lives,
When their mouth's are concentrated on mine.
Evil, red dripping deeds turned cotton candy pink
Fluffed by overexposure to the media sun.
They chant my name and dance in circles.
I did not ask for this.
They disembowel me live
And still won't leave my shame to rest.
I shot a man today.
Yes, I'm dead.
Shot myself in the head,
NightmareI went down to theNightmare in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
Basement, step by step,
In shock of each one.
Windex in my hand,
My eyes didnt want to see
As I came to the corner.
I got down to my knees,
And started scrubbing concrete;
My rags turning red.
Crumpled before me
A body lay oozing its
Lifeless red rivers.
The blood sprayed all over,
A woman stood over me,
Washing the scratched glass.
Tears began rolling
As I realized who it was
Pooling in that blood.
Mother how could you?
You are not even crying!
I screamed shrill at her.
She looked down at him,
My brother's eyes blind to all,
His life bludgeoned.
She sighed, I cant get
The scratches in the glass clean,
Averting her eyes.
We Close Our EyesWe close our eyes,We Close Our Eyes in Free Verse More Like This
and dream a sweet dream.
Something we long for,
or maybe something we need.
A wish or two maybe three,
a shoulder to cry on when we're down.
Someone to laugh with,
when we're lonely.
We open our eyes,
and let out a sigh.
We want to dream,
for the rest of our lives.
But tomorrow is another day,
and when we close our eyes,
who knows what we'll see.
Off Camera 2Sinister looked at the clock in his new bedroom. '12:30' he read to himself. He flipped over on his side to face the opposite wall, staring for what felt like to him was forever, before flipping onto his stomach and putting the pillow over his head. After a few minutes, he flipped back to face the clock with a groan. 'It's only been fifteen minutes?' he thought to himself. He pulled the covers off of his body and started the journey to his old room.Off Camera 2 in Fan Fiction More Like This
Sinister quietly walked in, hoping to go unnoticed by his ex-roommate. He was surprised to see that Chi Chi was sleeping in the bottom bunk instead of the top. He sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at him with a sad smile. He held out his arm to try and caress Chi Chi's face, when suddenly his eyes opened.
Sinister quickly stood up in surprise only to knock his head against the top bunk. "Fuck!" He whispered loudly. He stood infront of the bed with a sheepish grin while rubbing the back of his head. "Uh, hi."
Chi Chi sat up on hi
BetrayedI feel safe in your arms, like I can never be hurt,Betrayed in Free Verse More Like This
But then you turn and I feel betrayed.
Why do you do this?
But then again, why should I care?
You don't know, and I don't want to tell.
So your turning away from me,
And I can feel the tears falling down.
You said you'd be here,
You pretty much lied.
And since I never told,
I have to wear my mask as a disguise.
Pretty soon you'll forget,
But I'll still remember.
I hope you have fun,
I'll love you forever.
LoveLove in Free Verse More Like This
Love should be never-ending
not something to throw away
Love is a strong promise
and yet people put it to shame
Love should be shared through out
a whisper of their name
And so here to those who find true love
Those who don't let it go to waste
Stormy NightTristen sat on the edge of the bed, looking out at the ocean through the giant window in the bedroom. The sky was dark, a sign of an oncoming storm. He shivered slightly at the thought of a thunderstorm.Stormy Night in General Fiction More Like This
'Only an hour until Adrian comes home,' He thought to himself. 'He'll comfort me if there is a storm.'
Tristen grabbed the large, blue blanket off the bed that he and Adrian shared, and headed downstairs into the living room. He sat on the brown, leather loveseat and wrapped himself in the blanket, turning the television on.
He flipped through the stations until he reached the news.
"There has been an accident in the center of the city due to the increasing rain," the lady on the screen said. "We advise all those who are at work to leave immediatly and those at home to stay where you are until this storm passes."
A bright flash lit up the dark room and Tristen's eyes widened in fear. There was a crack of thunder and he let out an almost inaudible whisper. He threw the blanket over his
Tormenting MeI dream about him everynight.Tormenting Me in Free Verse More Like This
These dreams I have, they fill me with fright.
The dreams they show me what I'll never have.
I wish i could have him as my own.
But I know I never will.
Did fate bring him here to torture me?
Is the world laughing as its taunting me?
I can't stand him anymore.
I just want to cry and scream on the floor.
But I have to go on,
I have to look strong.
So that I can convince myself,
my heart is wrong.
Off CameraSinister watched as the camera crew started to pack away their stuff and headed toward their own section of the mansion. He stood up and stretched before heading into the house to head to bed.Off Camera in Fan Fiction More Like This
Sinister! Someone called out to him. He turned around to see Flex at the pool table with Dave, or Twelve Pack. Nice job with that temper tantrum, it looked so real.
Sinister chuckled. Well, some of it was real. But hey, I gotta do what I gotta do for TV. Am I right?
Flex laughed. Yeah, dude! Have a good nights sleep.
You too, man. Sinister turned around with a wave and headed up the stairs to his and Chi Chis room.
Sinister walked into their room and saw Chi Chi quickly flip over in his bunk.
Hey man, Sinister walked towards his bunk and looked over the edge, on his tip toes. How you feeling? He stepped onto his lower bunk so he could rub Chi Chis back with his hand.
Im fine, Ch
Off Camera 4Later on in the evening, Sinister stomped up the stairs and headed to his old room. He saw the bedroom door closed but didn't bother knocking and walked right into something he didn't want to see.Off Camera 4 in Fan Fiction More Like This
London was on all fours above Chi Chi, currently biting his way down Chi Chi's neck. they both looked over at the open door. London smirked at Sinister's shocked and angry face, while Chi Chi blushed and gently pushed against London's chest.
"What the hell were you two doing?" Sinister shouted glaring at London.
"What do you think we were doing?" London asked nonchalantly (sp?).
"It looked like you were about to fuck him right then and there!" Sinister stated with a growl.
London closed his eyes then reopened then with a smug smirk. " Maybe I was, what's it to you what we do anyways?"
Sinister's glare intensified and he grabbed onto Chi Chi's arm before pulling him out of the bedroom.
"Hey, where are you taking me?" Chi Chi asked struggling against Sinister's grip.
"My room." Sinister opened
Off Camera 5Sinister walked through the front door of his apartment and threw his bags onto the floor with a sigh. He walked over to his black leather couch and flopped down. He let out a groan and covered his face in his hands.Off Camera 5 in Fan Fiction More Like This
The day before, he got kicked off the show Daisy of Love. He was grateful that he got to go back home to where Chi Chi was, but he wouldve never imagined just how much he would miss everyone.
There was a knock at the door and Sinister reluctantly got up with a sigh. He opened the door, eyes cast towards the floor then looked at the visitor and his eyes widened with mild surprise.
Chi Chi? Sinister asked in disbelief. What are you doing here?
I uh, heard about you, getting kicked off. Chi Chi looked down at the floor, a blush on his face. I wanted to find out if it was true.
Sinister pulled him into a hug. Im glad to be back. It was a tort
Love and Denial: Ending Dave walked into the elevator lobby of his New York city apartment he shared with his boyfriend, Josh. He greeted the doorman, a big smile on his face and an unopened letter in his hand.Love and Denial: Ending in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Getting the news on that new modeling job?" The doorman, Craig asked.
Dave stopped in front of the elevator and pushed the up arrow. He turned to face Craig and nodded. "Yep! Hopefully it's some good news!"
The elevator doors dinged and slowly opened. "Good luck, Dave!" Craig watched as Dave stepped onto the elevator.
Dave pushed the button for the 9th floor, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he impatiently waited for the elevator to reach his floor.
When the doors finally opened, Dave ran down the hallway to his apartment, fumbling with the keys to find the right one.
"Josh! " Dave screamed as he opened the door.
Josh, who was sitting on the couch, looked up at him, startled and then quickly stood up.
"I have so
Ink and SmokeInk and Smoke in Free Verse More Like This
She loved the scent
of ink and smoke -
and the way strangers
caressed her name
like the verdant rushes
rolling off the river bank,
or a low slung
across the floor.
Mornings found her
where the light
and the cat's tale
lingered like a secret,
waking her from dreams
brighter than early frost.
But it was night
that bought and sold her,
made her heart a trinket,
dressing her in silk
as new as nuptials -
that flagrant shade of flush
and the rough and tumble
of her hips
serenading the world
WarningThat dark twinge of stormWarning in Free Verse More Like This
unbalancing my left eye -
lover, take warning.
I came through the back door,
unhinged and savoring
all your little pieces.
You said you loved my twisted english,
the way I broke words apart,
just like daddy's enemies.
So slide me under your doormat -
I miss those dirty feet
and the disconnect
of your tongue.
You know I love how you
waste my evenings
and bring me the dangerous bits
only a lover could swallow.
OblivionOblivion in Free Verse More Like This
That kind of beauty
can haunt a life
and ruin a man,
the incandescent taste of skin
so fair it flouts
a summer day
and taunts the bed clothes
as if to say
this is but a borrowed pleasure;
the supple lilt of hips
making wastrels of my senses
and savoring the scent
of flesh entrapping secrets
like a summer solstice;
and that last wave of wonder
puckered in a silken crescent
breaking over me
Snow QueenSnow Queen in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Shall I find thee all in ice ensnared,
the tree boughs stripped, the blossoms bared,
trapped in a wet and wintry grave -
the blight of snow and hoarfrost shared?
They brought you here, their souls enslaved.
The altar where your minions prayed -
a brilliant diadem of ice,
the offering that your cold heart craved.
They linger here whilst you entice
their frozen limbs as sacrifice.
Their wizened hands by you declared
the chosen few who paid your price
PirateHe wanted to be a pirate -Pirate in Free Verse More Like This
a rogue of waves and plankton
and teakwood decks
that smarted under the sharp rap
of stars streaming off the bow.
He longed to feel rum
cut the back of his throat
and hoist the skull and crossbones
over a ship so far gone
the horizon would never find it.
He wanted to chart winds
that warmed the equator
and let the anchor
carry off the ballast
in the boatswain's burly arms;
to watch gold
cover his hands to the elbows
and sink his lash
into the belly of the storm.
And know the beauty of his enemy
come calling late at night.
Leaving WonderlandThis lovely bonescapeLeaving Wonderland in Free Verse More Like This
is no place for children,
our grins too big,
screwed to the skyline
as if looking
I no longer feel
beneath my feet.
It has been replaced
red and white damsels
dope-eyed with distress
who cannot make a sound.
Their hands are lilies
and I bear a mirror
on my back
will call you fair.
You will not remember this
when you awaken -
not the man with the cat
and hungry in the hallway
or the hat
I once wore to dinner
or the wine we drank
from the brown jug
only the smell
squirming in a jar.
PlaygroundPlayground in Free Verse More Like This
All that autumn her ghost haunted the playground;
no wisping phantom, but strident bits and pieces
clamoring for attention - a pair of black patent
leather shoes waiting expectantly by the teeter-totter.
And Sister Teresa had to pry red woolen mittens
off the jungle gym every morning.
Jimmy Boyle kept seeing her sweater at the swings,
its green wooly arms daring him to go higher
and trying to tag him "it".
And her best friend, Jenny Black
could see the flash of her pigtails
throwing copper across the kickball field
where recess waited to swallow them.
The toys vanished from the sandbox every evening
leaving nothing but a soft trail of disappointment
in their wake -
their accusations of neglect
and longing crouched under the
maple trees, swarming with the bees.
But winter proved a discordant grave -
the protest of frozen ground
an errant melody in the schoolyard
and her shoes kept shrinking
and stumbled down the slide,
leaving a thick crust of frost
like somber tracks that said good-bye
Rye - pt. 1 - YAOIPart OneRye - pt. 1 - YAOI in General Fiction More Like This
"To whom I could not save...listen to me." Czeslaw Milosz
* * *
There was a ring around the moon that night. A hazy red circle that hung delicately, as though it would snap and fall apart at any moment. People used to believe that the ring was a sign of witchcraft. The sign of big changes to come. Others took a more practical approach; saying the ring was a cause of pollution, fires, and gases. But whether it be witchcraft of science, the hovering ring still made people uneasy.
Jared leaned hard against the ocher doorway of the balcony, his head tilted back until all of the moonlight touched his face. He though it was rather pretty the blood-red ring. Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, Jared tapped the paintbrush swinging loosely in his fingers against the canvas hed set up on the edge of the balcony. Hed been working on the painting for several nights now, anxious to get it done before the ring disappeared for good.
Swirling the bristles around th
Rye - pt. 7 - YAOIRyeRye - pt. 7 - YAOI in General Fiction More Like This
It's the way that you blush when your nervous... - The Spill Canvas
* * *
Tap. Tap Tap.
Jared took a deep breath, staring at the dark black of his closed eyes. He was faintly aware of an aching pain in his side, but it wasn't that which had woken him up. He held his breath, waiting silently.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Rye started when the older boy sat up, the pencil he'd been drumming along the bedside table clattering to the floor in his haste to stand. Jared! I...I'm sorry, did I wake you up? Jared closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face, wiping away the dredges of sleep that still clung there. Somehow he'd ended up in bed, the white linen sheets tucked tightly around his body. If it weren't for that persistent pain in his side, it would have been perfect...
He lowered a hand to his shirt, lifting the hem just enough to expose the edges of the clean cotton strips that had been wound around his chest. A breath left his throat in a relieved sigh, his eyes imme
Rye - pt. 4 - YAOIRye - pt. 4 - YAOI in General Fiction More Like This
"Love of mine, someday you will die, but I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark." - DCFC
* * *
The sun broke through the clouds violently, shattering the fists of mist that clung to the sidewalks. It was nearly midday now, and this was the first time the sun had shown itself since the previous morning. Newscasters had been warning heavily about a breaching storm that teetered along the horizon. It would be the first rainfall of the season, and the hovering clouds promised the storm to be an unforgettable one.
Rye tilted his head back to watch as the sun was swallowed once again by the clouds. He could actually hear the thunder not far off; the bristling power of the angry claps making his ears swivel anxiously. He shifted from his position atop the faded orange ladder hed taken from the supply closet on the ground floor of the apartment flat, his knuckles white from his grip on the bottom banister of the balcony.
After seeing Jared off that morning he
Rye - pt. 5 - YAOIPart FiveRye - pt. 5 - YAOI in General Fiction More Like This
"I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images, and when we kiss they're perfectly alligned." - the postal service
* * *
The sun shone timidly. It's weak rays penetrating through the clouds that floated in the aftermath of the storm. The gale had died down just that morning, leaving the city torn and gray in its wake. Twigs, branches, and all other kinds of debris littered the sidewalks and roads like scars on the pavement.
Jared kicked a loose branch out of the path of the front door as he fumbled with the keys in his pocket. Storm or no storm the University schedule had continued like normal; that morning he'd left Rye asleep and gathered his supplies without a word of notice. It wasn't until later that day had he remembered the importance of that morning...
Today was the day that Mrs. Owens was coming back.
* * *
Jared struggled up the narrow flight of stairs to his loft, carrying several large canvases tucked under his arm. As far as he
Rye - pt. 2 - YAOIRye - pt. 2 - YAOI in General Fiction More Like This
Thou art the unanswered question; couldst see thy proper eye, always it asketh, asketh; and each answer is a lie. Ralph Waldo Emerson
* * *
It had grown dark at some point, the long shadows cast from the setting sun dancing like jesters around the ankles of the late-evening commuters. Already the stars could be seen beneath the haze of red, pinpricks of light in the otherwise spotless sky.
Rye glanced up at the older boy walking a few paces ahead of him, almost immediately returning his eyes to the ground so not to be caught staring. They both walked quietly; so much so that Rye was afraid the other could hear his heartbeat. God knows, its all he could hear, pounding restlessly against his temples and fingertips. Rye squeezed his eyes shut and fell back another few paces, feeling faintly dizzy from the weight of what had happened.
He could still feel the faint blush smoldering at the base of his neck, thinking back to the shelter and what the Keepe
Rye - pt. 8 - YAOI WARNINGRyeRye - pt. 8 - YAOI WARNING in General Fiction More Like This
"All I know is that your the one who always makes me feel it, it's nothing that you do, I say, it's just the way you are." -The Black Ghosts
* * *
Rye stared hard at the door on the far end of the room, willing it with every thought to open and for Jared to be on the other side. The doctor had told him he'd need to stay the night, just in case the fever spiked or something else bad happened. But...just the thought of staying in this place was making his temperature rise anyway. All he could hear was his own heartbeat hammering in his temples.
Just after the doctor had left he'd heard Jared and her fighting. Their voices had been muffled by the walls and door so he wasn't entirely sure what words had been spoken, but the tone in the doctor's voice had been clear. She wanted Jared out...he was probably back at home by now, sleeping soundly while Rye was wide awake listening to his heart roar.
Rye swallowed the fever in his throat and swung his legs over the side of the bed, putti
Rye - pt. 6 - YAOIPart SixRye - pt. 6 - YAOI in General Fiction More Like This
"They say there is no rest for the wicked, but I will rest tonight knowing that there are those more wicked than I."
* * *
Rainwater had turned the sidewalks to streams. The gutters ran with swollen tendrils of water spotted with chunks of wood and paper swept up by the flow. Those who dared brave the persistent downpour found themselves blocked by flooding traffic, the cars turned into virtual boats that skittered and swerved over the thin film of water that blanketed the concrete. Faces were replaced with carbon-copy black umbrellas that bobbed like the debris floating in the gutters beside them.
Jared absentmindedly kicked a Starbuck's styrofoam coffee cup between his feet as he walked, watching it roll ahead a few feet before coming to a stop until he was close enough to kick it again. The Art History professor at the University had been absent from the lecture today, so class had been canceled early. This left the majority of the afternoon and evening open
Rye - pt. 3 - YAOIPart ThreeRye - pt. 3 - YAOI in General Fiction More Like This
"In the hills giant oaks fall upon their knees, you can touch the parts you have no right." - Kay Ryan
* * *
Rye folded the last corner of the blanket and smoothed out the surface with the palm of his hands. It was still about an hour before sunrise, but he wanted to get an early start. Hed never been in any other household besides his previous Keepers and was surprised to discover the flower of excitement that had bloomed in his stomach. This was his chance at a new start. A chance to prove himself useful.
Stepping lightly, he crossed the room and gently tucked the blanket into the cupboard hed found it in. A stack of pillows nearly collapsed to the floor when he opened the cabinet, a soft gasp escaping his lips as his hand shot out to steady the pile. The loft really was a mess. Completely unorganized. Firmly shutting the cupboard, Rye turned to face the dark loft, his ears gently lowering until they were laid flat.
This was going to take a while.
How Should I Feel? Chapter 5 Tommy's P.O.VHow Should I Feel? Chapter 5 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
All I could do I was breathe. My mind was in overdrive. When I got that phone call, my heart skipped so many beats, I thought it would've stopped. Never would I have thought that Adam Lambert would be requesting to come live with me. Ever. And I mean ever
I just sat there on my couch, clutching my cell phone so hard, I'b bet my knuckles were turning white. My heart was beating so fast. I nearly forgot how to breathe, all I could think of was him. Him. Adam. I loved him. And if my life depended on it, I couldn't tell you why, but I did. I loved him. I brushed my bleach blonde hair out of my face, and stood up. I practically sprinted to the bedroom, attempting to make things look presentable, without making it look like I didn't live there. I left eyeliner uncapped in the bathroom, shoes still lay scattered by the enterance of my condo.
I whipped around and stared at the clock. 1
How Should I Feel? Chapter 4Adam's P.O.VHow Should I Feel? Chapter 4 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I knew I had to end it. And I knew I had to end it tonight. It was the how part I had issues with. I'd considered a multitude of possibilities.
Over the phone
Face to face
Writing a note
Leaving a message on the phone
After a few hours contemplation, I'd finally come up with a way. I was just gonna leave. In the middle of the night. While he was sleeping. I was just gonna pack up and go. However, there were still means of communication that would have to be manipulated. For instance, I'd have to change my cell phone number, and block his.
Cold hearted? Yes
Necessary? Also yes.
Another issue arose.
'Where the fuck am I gonna stay?' I questioned myself. 'I could always stay with Tommy....'
No, bad idea Adam. Bad, BAD idea.
"Fuck you, conscience" I said barley above a whisper.
I sat down on the couch and turned the tv
How Should I Feel? Chapter 3Tommy's P.O.VHow Should I Feel? Chapter 3 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I sat down on my living room couch, and just stared at the wall for a while. It felt like ages. I could feel where my tears had streaked my face. All I wanted to do was sit here for the rest of the night, and just let my mind go blank. God, I would give anything right now, for a way to just forgot everything I didn't want to know.
I didn't want to know Adam was in love with another man
I didn't want to know that he would never feel the same way that I do
I didn't want to know that Drake even existed
I didn't want to know that every time I saw Adam, my heart skipped a beat, but I knew he didn't
even notice me
I didn't want to know he didn't care
I didn't want to know he doesn't love me
It kept replaying in my head.
'He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you.'
My mind was like a broken record. It wouldn't stop. It was like the one
How Should I Feel? Chapter 10 Adam's P.O.VHow Should I Feel? Chapter 10 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I woke up with Tommy still lying in my arms. I chuckled softly and stared at his face. His eyes were closed and he breathed slowly and heavily.
He was quiet beautiful when you really got a chance to look at him. His bleach blonde hair always lay perfectly on his face. He had deep choclate brown eyes, filled with compassion. His lips was soft and sweet. His touch was gentle and loving. His skin was soft and smooth, his voice like silk.
He exhaled deeply and shifted in my arms. His eyes opened half-way and shut again. He opened them fully and his chestnut eyes pierced mine. He smiled and lay his head against me.
"How long have you been up?" He whispered softly
"Not long." I whispered back. "You know we should talk, right?"
He groaned in agreement. He wanted to have this conversation just as much as I did, if not less. He opened his eyes again and looked back at me.
"Might as well get it over with, eh?" He asked
"I suppose so..
How Should I Feel? Chapter 9 Tommy's P.O.VHow Should I Feel? Chapter 9 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I swear, Adam heard my heart stop beating when he said he loved me. It felt like it stopped. I knew it did. It was an amazing. Having someone say I love you
Once those three words slipped past his lips, my tears slowly came to a halt, as did his. I peered at the clock on the wall - 5:23am. We'd been sitting by the door of condo for close to 4 hours, but I could care less.
Adam shifted in my arms again, but this time he sat all the way up, and looked me dead in the eyes. No words were exchanged. We just stared at each other again, for what felt like eons (SCIENCE FTW)
Finally he kissed me. His lips were dry, and tasted like blood, but honestly, I didn't give a fuck. He gently pushed me back into the wall, and the kiss deepend. His tounge broke the seam of our lips, but he pulled away. My hands lay atop his, and we both breathed in silence. I licked my lips, but stopped abruptly at the taste of
How Should I Feel? Chapter 8 Adam's P.O.VHow Should I Feel? Chapter 8 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Lying there with Tommy was more than I could've ever asked for at that time. Holding on to him was comforting, and nice. Knowing someone cared, even in a state like this, was more than I thought I could've felt. Being hurt like the way I was, just being held was amazing. It took the pain away. I just wanted to lay with him forever.
I curled myself into his arms further. I wanted him to hold me. His arms wrapped tighter around me, and more sobs came. I didn't think they were from the pain. I think it was just from knowing someone cared.
"I'm s-sorry Tommy..." I mumbled through sobs.
"Adam, why are you sorry right now?" He whispered gently. It sounded like he was crying too.
"I don't kn-know. But, s-sorry..." I whispered. I buried hy head into his chest, and my body convulsed with sobs.
"Just breathe, Adam. You don't have to talk." He kissed my head softly, and I smiled. I didn't think I'd be able to smile. N
you can't make them love you.He is beautiful, new, unexplored. He has wanted to kiss her ever since they met one week ago and fell prey to helpless chemistry.you can't make them love you. in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Dont, she says, moving her hands in a subconscious yes pattern along his arm as he rubs his cheek against hers. You dont even know my favourite colour. The wind cuts through her thin jacket, and his chest is so warm.
Red, he guesses, improbably correct. His ears are cold.
And how many dogs do I have?
Two, he says, and she laughs wildly at his luck as he nuzzles her neck.
Im trying to save you, she tells him, pushing fruitlessly against his broad shoulders. So you dont wa
Riding BikesGoing off medication is like riding a bike.Riding Bikes in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
The doctor holds tight to my handlebars and lowers my dosage. The training wheels are off, and oh hey, look at me go! It's like flying but not, and I'm doing so well but then there's a horrible accident and I'm somehow upside down at the bottom of the sea with both wheels still spinning.
"Help," I say, and my doctor pats my head, puts a band-aid on my knee, and writes a note on my chart.
I've balanced by myself for months at a time, but I always end up hitting a fucking tree or falling off a cliff or something equally catastrophic because I am a catastrophic person. Except that is an exaggeration. I am an exaggeration.
I like to compare mental illnesses to mundane physical activities. Also you should know that I am sick but trying to get better.
Sometimes I relapse and then write poems about it.
It's not even the kind of sick where people bring you soup in bed and soothe your fevered brow. It's the kind of sick where I'm late to work because
the soccer game.the thing is, i needthe soccer game. in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
the deer to mean something.
i go to the soccer game and smile
and nod while something furious
inside of me is screaming.
a deer appears while the sun
is setting and it's like a scene
from a movie: green grass and gold rays
that spread out, tingeing our feet
with one last bit of wednesday.
everyone watches the deer and makes
noises of appreciation and i look
around and i think to myself
"okay, this is it, i am happy."
the deer is watching me and i try
to decide if it's a metaphor.
i want the deer to be death, see,
to represent fucking or blacking
out or apathy or loneliness.
someone does something heroic
with a soccer ball and i watch
my hands clap together over and over.
okay, or maybe the deer is supposed
to be happy. maybe the deer
represents attending social
events and sitting with people.
maybe the deer means that
i'm ready to let go.
the girl beside me looks over
and asks if i've written any poems
lately. (that's all she knows of me,
that i write poems and
stop ruining autumn.listen:stop ruining autumn. in Free Verse More Like This
fall makes me think of leaving and of apple cider, though i never liked apple cider.
but i liked the idea of it.
two years ago i met a boy as fragile as dead leaves who called me his little spring girl. (i'd always liked autumn the best.) he kissed the two soft dimples on the small of my back and told me helikedme helovedme hewantedme.
and oh, by the way, "everything good must come to an end."
on our one year anniversary we picked out two pumpkins and i drew elephants on them for us to carve. he cut his out so aggressively that it lost its shape.
lopped off tusks and broken trunks became just a large, jagged hole.
he put a lit candle inside, and we watched it flicker, illuminating the raw edges.
"what is it supposed to be?" i asked him, taking his hand.
"my heart," he said definitively.
like an afterthought.
after that i was too afraid to carve my pumpkin at all.
the leaves changed, or maybe he changed, or maybe i was b
encephalitis.she asks, "is it weird to have one day where you really intensely, for no good reason, think of a dead person?"encephalitis. in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
the intercom was the one to announce that his body had finally given up. i don't remember what i was wearing that day, or how my hair looked, or what noises fell out of my mouth. death has dulled the sharp edges within me. this is what i do know: some people burst into tears and some people sat frozen and pale and some people simply got up and left the room.
"are you okay?" someone asked me, and i found that i was lying on the floor, though i couldn't understand how i'd gotten there. the overhead lights were buzzing and humming, or maybe it was just my heart. confused, i sat up quickly and let the blood rush to my head in one glorious fell swoop.
"are you okay?" they asked again, and i said yes, yes, i am okay. i am alive. i have to be okay. the linoleum is still cold against my cheek and i can still see i am alive i am okay i am okay i am okay.
but sometimes i wish i had t
ChinatownYou made me waitChinatown in Free Verse More Like This
at the corner,
which wouldn't let go
of the asphalt and rain.
You missed out on fireworks
and caterpillar dragons;
so many footsteps
shifting in red.
Ignore AdviceWrite ten bad poems.Ignore Advice in Free Verse More Like This
Write one hundred
Write and drink.
Keep a notebook with you,
write in public
and make sure that others
know that you are, in fact,
Write a love poem,
then throw it away
because all the good ones
have already been read.
write about the decision
instead of the feeling.
Write one sentence
say to yourself that
this is it, THIS is IT.
and tell yourself that again.
PeakShirtless in bed,Peak in Free Verse More Like This
on a lonely
An impatient man
Butterfly/RavenSo we are sitting on one of thoseButterfly/Raven in Free Verse More Like This
uncomfortably tight bus stop benches
and we've just met,
but she's rather pretty
with her artificially dark hair
and naturally dark eyes.
I tell her a story about my past
and a joke about drugs
and she's laughing-
she says: you sound like you want
my boyfriend says he would never
wouldn't you want a girl
And I say no, I would rather
have a butterfly's proboscus
that I could unravel and slide down your throat
in order to better taste your nectar.
The little bench is suddenly too uncomfortable
for her and my laughing
probably doesn't help either.
Let me goOnceLet me go in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I wanted to live
Cause I knew I could
Cause the joys where to great
I did enjoy it
So much to do
So much to learn
I hate it
Cause there is no reason
Cause there is to much negative
I can't keep my head high
I can't keep going
I can't stay here
I don't want it anymore
Let me go
I'll crawl away
Into some dark and dusty corner
I'll won't be of hinder
Cause that is all I cause
Trouble, no joy
I want to leave
And start over
But not that it is possible
I just sit here, and watch what happens
Cause that is all I can do
And still I'm not good at it
I'm nothing but a piece of trash
That should have been given up on
I long for her
Yet I can't reach
What good am I?
Let me go
Shimmering LightIn the light of an old lampShimmering Light in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I sit and stare
Leave me alone
Leave me here
Leave me in the shimmering light
I have nothing to fear
Nor anything to lose
I stare and see
The shimmering light
I long for one
What I cannot reach
Leave me alone
Leave me here
Leave me in the shimmering light
I wait for the day to come
I wait for the moment to arrive
I wait for the time to go
In the shimmering light
Oh, how I miss her
The one I desire
Unreachable for now
But one day
I'll hold her close
Smile with her
Cry with her
In the shimmering light
But for now
I stand up
And leave this chair alone
In the shimmering light
Beast of FriendshipJoined together by friendshipBeast of Friendship in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
All I have left now, is you
And I shall never cease to find you
For you where my support
And I shall forever guard you
Speak with TruthBeating of a heartSpeak with Truth in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
That are not mine
Irony between illusion
Sever the ties
I speak its name
I spit it out
In the fireplace
I burn nevertheless
With frozen flames
Heating my heart
It has been time
Since we have met
But ever since I talked to you
I knew you where special
Every message makes my heart jump
Longing for the next word
Whatever it would be
I gave a ear to listen
Time is not our friend
Nor our guide
And I rot
In dreams and desires
Craved by my mind
The wish is the father of the thought
I shall long forever
And never forget
What you meant for me
And what you still mean for me
That we may hold hands
In front of a golden sun
Falling into an blue sea
I have given up
Hope for a meeting between us
Hold a sacred wish
Believe in you
HeartbleedRiseHeartbleed in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Crash against the wall
Take another false turn
Send me to hell
Burn me alive
Tear my heart out
This blood is for one
Put me on a stake
Hang me as high as possible
I bleed out my heart
A gash incurable
I am confused
My words are true
Yet false intentions
But can you blame me?
Can you accuse me
For the miracle has happened
But what am I to say about it?
And put the gun to my head"
"Pull the trigger"
"Here comes the love"