beLIEveYou'll never know,beLIEve in Free Verse More Like This
and I can never let you,
I'll hide behind an adulterer's shroud,
and make all the lies seem true,
but even in this skin I am not home,
I'm not being completely true,
sitting at an ungodly throne
just to protect you.
My ultimate act of love
and self preservation,
my divinity shows I am from heaven above,
as well does my deviation.
You fail to see where you're so wrong,
and I cannot correct you,
and you call me a ticking bomb,
I'll leave nothing when I'm through.
and it was definitely hard enough,
plenty of times
but I guess I've got too much blood.
Call me insignificant
if it'll help you,
say you regret all of it,
but are you sure that's true?
Leave nothing to rest.
are more than their surface.
just question your
None of it's true.
I lied to you.
And it's so fucking hilarious to watch two worlds collapse, once so joined, but torn by paranoia and hatred held in such secrecy. Contempt was the enemy.
You'll never fu
UglyShe sleeps without her shirt onUgly in Free Verse More Like This
and closes the envelope with closed eyes
hands caressing a body too well known
under burning and falling skies.
Always have been, always will be;
He fixes his tie and looks down at his watch
he contemplates again if he knows what he's doing
the pain in his chest never stops
but the bell rings and he forgets what he's thinking.
always have been, never will change,
Lights are fixed and the stage is set,
one last call from the green room,
one last sound check,
and the mask goes on.
Success is easy to change
from cryptic to analytic,
just follow these simple steps,
and you can be living in your own lie.
So say good night when you finally wake
to your soul which you need to leave behind,
because we can't be mutual on a moving train;
Once you're on the right track,
we'll ask if you're off on our stop
'cause we're all afraid
that the lies we tell someone else
are the lies they tell themselves
Live.I can't believe I trust you.Live. in Free Verse More Like This
Everything seems to be coalescing
But in the light of day
I see that's just another failure.
So have it your way;
I hated your temper.
but not quite breathing.
You said you'd give
your all, but I still haven't seen it.
So should I let my dream fade
and sever another tie,
or hold on for another day
before an untimely goodbye?
I love how nothing makes sense once I question it.
I'd give something in penance, but that'd only ruin this.
And when I'm with you, everything falls.
I don't know if I can catch it, or if I should just let it shatter,
but before it hits the ground, it all whirls around me--
everything in my mind sporadically changes;
hamfistedly scattered in the wind so turbulent,
the visceral obligations dance around me with the elegance
of a firestorm.
But I still believe in you.
IlybSo I light myself up a nice little cigaretteIlyb in Free Verse More Like This
even though I told 'em all I'm just tryin' to catch my breath,
and I'm thinkin' and I'm lookin' and I'm searchin' for a reason
while I'm mopin' and I'm groanin' and I'm tryin' to believe in
Tryin' to up and leave
when all they do is drown us in a sea
Tryin' to hold you together
with nothing more than letters.
An' I'm tryin' to articulate
how sorry I am that I made you wait
when all along you were sittin' there for me
and I was drowning all my sorrows with a bottle o' misery.
And you know I hate apologies
and it seems it's all you got from me
but you know I love you, love your smile,
love to love you, all the while
it's just You.
Tryin' to up and leave
ditching all our grief.
Smush our hearts together
we'll be happily ever after,
So you know what? Forget what they say,
We'll laugh it off when it's yesterday,
So blind their anger, so blind their hate,
and when they're sorry, it'll b
Coffee AddictI'm tired of this.Coffee Addict in Free Verse More Like This
Thinking that, somehow, someway, things'll change,
and it isn't the thought that scares me,
it's the reality that it will.
It'll be out of my control,
and I've grasped that concept,
but hear me out:
I'm tired of thinking about it.
One day, I'm going to wake up and realize
that these plans I've built for myself
can no longer contain that aspect I've been trying to control.
That trying is something inside of me
that will happen whether or not I'm ready for it.
That this subject of change is something that's beyond reach,
Obsessive compulsive, rationality's revolting.
This personality is something that has changed,
and it still isn't the thought that scares me.
It just might be reality.
Maybe I've never really brought this to your attention,
but it's hit me like a bus over and over again;
I'm a bad parallel parker.
I move in,
just a little back,
just a little forward
then back, forward, back, forward, then a little more back, and a little more forward
just to wind up in
There is Nothing, Nothing Wrong at All.I can see her dreams in her eyesThere is Nothing, Nothing Wrong at All. in Free Verse More Like This
and the way she quakes at night
sometimes she'd be better off without me there at all.
They are not what they claim to be.
I can only smile when I see the it in her face,
the pieces are no longer misplaced.
'cause dreams do come true;
but nightmares are dreams, too.
And when her eyes have nothing behind them to see,
and shout that she's through,
I know there's nothing left to do;
and she's as empty as me.
It's funny how sick you are.So you see yourselfIt's funny how sick you are. in Free Verse More Like This
watching your own hell
consume your being
the other side of the line--
what it really means, this time.
It's funny how sick you are.
You pretend to care just to get that far--
Yes, that far; far enough into people's clothes
who, just hours ago, you didn't know.
It's funny how sick you are.
It's twisted how you've gotten this far.
With your inability to pay attention
to someone's own self destruction,
you shrug it off and pretend not to get it,
you don't see how fed up with
you they all are.
They crystallize the sky
and pierce themselves into your mind,
streaking wildly to the ground
to isolate you in your town.
There's two types of people here:
Those that never come back.
Those that never leave.
It's funny how sick you are.
Everyone's coming back here, eventually.
And it's for your funeral.
It's funny how sick you are.
Even this doesn't stop your juxtaposition
of odd mannerisms
to trap people in your web--
oh, how we hate spiders to death.
AntumbraTonight's the night.Antumbra in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The night I see if that deal I made was really worth my soul.
The asphalt breaks, and my teeth start clenching. Blood trickling from my throat and tires screeching. My head hurts, but I just try to laugh. My cigarette didn't fly too far away, so I just try to make this moment last. People surrounding me, people suffocating me; It's getting far too hard just to breathe. I take one last drag and let the breath come slow. My death has its own toll.
I wake up on grass. After shifting my body a bit, I come to find I'm covered in water. Not dew, no, sprinklers. I lift my head and let my eyes adjust.
My tombstone reads the superficial nonsense. I use it to help me up. Memories flood into my mind as I get to my feet-- as the light head rips through my mind like a tsunami.
My old church. A few pews filled by people I know. Most, I recognize. Others have matured, come to age, or are newborns. They followed my instructions that I left as a just-in-case. My urn sits with my po
Nuclear FearShe screams.Nuclear Fear in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The nightmare that awoke her fades near-instantaneously; The sweat she's bathed inlasts for an hour.
She's happy it's not the other way around.
Regardless, she leaves the bed quickly, afraid that she might've startled her child.
Finding her son awake, but not screaming, she smiles back at the little child's face. She starts humming a little lullaby to coax a coo from the child. Her mind goes somewhat blank-- Her grandfather used to hum the same lullaby to her. Except, when she was older and catch him humming to himself, he'd start crying before he even got halfway through. She holds the last note and lets it die slowly.
When she's out of breath, the note continues.
Then raises-- in both intensity and volume.
The realization hits her as the siren climbs to a peak.
She rushes to find clothing for the cold weather-- her child confused, but still not crying. After hurriedly putting on her coat, she wraps her child with haste and almost kicks her apartment door down.
First Death of an AngelFor the past six months, I've been dating a schizophrenic mess.First Death of an Angel in Short Stories More Like This
She was on a laundry list of medications.
Each one phased her from reality, little by little, one by one.
Before I knew it, the girl I believed I was falling for
was a shell of a human.
And it broke my heart.
Every night for the past six weeks,
I've cradled her head through her panic attacks.
She was becoming tolerant to the heavy medications,
and her hallucinations were coming back to life.
But they still left her
Void of life.
Just a fragile girl whimpering in my arms,
shaking violently, passing out just before 3.
I always stayed awake for hours afterward.
Running my fingers through her hair.
Whispering that she'll be alright.
Watching her lip tremble and her arms quake.
Listening to her spastic breathing.
Feeling her heartbeat accelerate, then almost stop.
One morning, right before I was about to fall asleep,
right before the veil painfully washed over me,
she woke up.
The type of scream tires mak
echolaliayou were the taste of something sweetecholalia in Free Verse More Like This
with the foreshadowed promise
of the bitterness that would soon
wash me to sea again.
the nights we spent
of clouds and of cloth-
frighten me as much
as they please me
the roiling ocean,
lapping at our heels
as we became lovers
under the sky;
the curses and hisses
of an extraterrestrial fire
as you whispered to me
to pay no attention
to the teenagers drunken
on the sand;
to feel your skin
along mine in lines
and your lips,
the entire inability
to dismiss the songs that
our hearts once sang
as fragmented fantasies
strikes chords of longing
and echolalia in me
as i utter the moans of
the single wolf
aching on the cliffs.
no amount of midnight,
nor any number of stars,
can take me out of the headlights
i walked toward the cars.
i do not know
how to live with you
as much as i do not know
how to live without you;
i am dead,
buried in the earth,
because knowing you
has rendered me
glass windowswe are windows,glass windows in Free Verse More Like This
made of glass
in the old houses
of our bodies.
the wood of our
has been dismissed,
and pulled a
into the heat of georgia.
i will miss the
of your hands,
the sun spilling
across your face
and painting your
across the city
i am terrified
to lose you
to the sea,
you and me.
i just pray
to the same god
you believe in
that if our ship
we will each
incendiaryit was the city -- you know, a self-contained organism, a microcosm of reality in which we all take part. it's like a play, with our very orchestrated roles rehearsed perfectly until we can pull them off as smooth as ice.incendiary in Short Stories More Like This
it doesn't matter which city, because really, they're all the same -- paris, milan, barcelona...lawrence, pittsburgh, atlanta.
what matters is only that we were in the city. i was myself, playing the role of a love-struck jeweler, praying i could find just the right gem to put on my lover's finger someday, and she was herself, playing the role of sara.
sara, my love; sara, my heart; sara, the snow beneath my feet, the ice begging for me to slip
but still, we were here. glimpses of this city swallow my hunger -- i might never eat again if this were my home, the way it filled me up. but the moment i broke eye contact with this entity, this city with its glittering skyline, i felt the hollows in me ache again.
it felt rig
great peace and beautyi stretch with the branchesgreat peace and beauty in Free Verse More Like This
overhead, so that i might
grow, so that i might
blossom into something
more beautiful, something
more worthwhile, something
infinitely more than myself.
there is a lot of ugliness
involved in love, and we
shield our eyes to it like
it's the blinding sun,
that blinding truth.
please listen when i say
that the air is too thin
to fill us. please listen
when i say that i can now
understand "too thin." i
want you to hear me tell
you i want to get better,
and i want you to stay
around. i am so afraid
that my body won't, but
even more when i realise
your fingers have become
memories like sound, just
a white sheet of noise and
i realise now that my body,
that i, am so fragile as you
sink me down to the binding
of the pages, the book of
you and me.
what i need is for
you to hear me
when i say that,
just as our love,
i no longer need to
be as weightless
as the folding
stars, or thinner
than the galaxies.
i've long promised my
bones to emptiness,
to breathe lik
humanity, in so many wordseveryone is the same.humanity, in so many words in Free Verse More Like This
we all want
loneliness without being lonely and
poetry in the most mundane breaths and
we all want to be humans
unique and flawed with perfection
but we are too busy
beating with our one heart.
soviet love songbreath like a sliver of sky,soviet love song in Free Verse More Like This
bones to glitter,
constellations of bodies,
night darkness and dreams --
i want this like an explosion.
it's called i love you forever;
it's called i feel like death itself.
we look forward to the fireworks
as they scream until they burst,
a bright ending to their lives,
a shower of shimmering ash
all that's left of their bodies
into grassed graveyards.
i want everything
to remind you of me --
every girl you kiss
to taste like me
beneath your lips;
the slips of tongue
brushing over my teeth,
the storm clouds like
the way i cried.
i love you but it is time to wake up.
i love you like my hair is falling out.
it is cancerous and i love you.
it is radioactive and i love you.
you are poison and i love you.
newnessi should have been wholernewness in Free Verse More Like This
the moon as it waxes
my breath as it wanes
blue in the night air,
i hope it spreads like wildfire.
i am writhing in my weak skin,
a dance like salt from the sea
in all its midnight shines.
i feel a strong beat
in my heart,
a deep breathing pulsing
in the cage of my chest.
it is like constellations,
my body, home.
it is like the whole house hums.
tonight is static electric.
if your body could talk,
it would tell you
it loves me
even if your heart doesn't.
barcelona is burningi owe you an apology-barcelona is burning in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
you, in the crowd,
the one panicking about reading
or the mess at home
or the sheer volume of people
pressing into you like corners;
the woman who birthed me into this world
through hours of agony
as though that wasn't enough
because doctor appointment after therapy appointment after residential stay after thirtieth pound lost,
i've put you through countless
warped into months of agony
you never asked for;
and you, oh, mostly you.
you, because as hard as i've beaten my own heart into the wall,
and as deep as i let you bury mine,
i know, somehow, i managed to do the same to you.
you left, and i left two weeks after.
every night was a terror;
every morning was a letdown.
i ached constantly
and threw myself into books
like they would become oxygen masks until i could breathe on my own again.
and here's the thing, you know,
because you would knock my legs out from under me again and again.
"let's fall back in love," you'd say,
and i would fall to
155this is not the time or place for us to speak like this. we are sitting in your car at the walmart parking lot. it's not a mile from my house, but it's better than stopping at the dead end of my street.155 in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
we don't move for the five seconds following the moment you cut the ignition; from there, your eyes drop to the stuffed animal you won me -- a token of the high-noon days of our summer -- that oscillates between your hands.
the sun shifts from low to lower, dipping behind clouds and city silhouettes until the lights come on. the list of things i need to tell you becomes unreadable in the failing light, so you press a button and i can see again.
i wish there was a button like that for you, and for me. maybe it would be between the fingers of our opposite hands, so if the webbings of our thumbs met in embrace, you would remember the way you felt for me in the nights we spent on friends' couches, just revelling in the feel of each other's bodies
mesentery.i get the same feeling lookingmesentery. in Free Verse More Like This
at you as i do dissecting cats
but it's ok
i know it just means
i want to be more in love than
the man who first wrote about true love;
i want it to swallow my soul
and i don't want to mind;
i want it to kill me
i think i should be dead
and this would be a beautiful way to go -
dying for someone better
than myself, unselfish until
realised it's the most selfish
of selfish things,
to love & be loved.
that kind of sickening.
paroxysms, that kind of sickening.
the shape of your lips,
in all their beauty:
that kind of
untitled IIdesolate mountain where the moon is forgottenuntitled II in Free Verse More Like This
twisting trees defeating the sky.
no one would ever mourn for you.
you would feel so alone
if you could still feel.
untitled VIIIblack haze enshrouding usuntitled VIII in Free Verse More Like This
each wisp carrying feelings of despair.
each wisp willing to guide you into perdition.
all cries for deliverance will fall
beneath a sea of diseased, coiling mist
where silence thrives and defeats.
untitled VIyou may compel the tides, but I am moved more.untitled VI in Free Verse More Like This
the essence of the illuminant
is consuming my every thought.
untitled IXyour potential is putrefyinguntitled IX in Free Verse More Like This
yet fumes of hope engulf you.
you don't belong here anymore.
I couldn't fathom a use for you now.
you convince yourself that you have some worth
that has surely been overlooked.
Untitled"Just remember me," the Memory whispered with soft grey lips, directly into his ear. He turned and brushed his nose along the smooth colourless cheek of her. Deep blue eyes met perfect white orbs and tears formed near the sky-like irises. Grey lips curled up in a smile. "Until next time..." she purred. Then she vanished like a wisp of smoke dispersing in the air. He could smell the rain from the day she died. It became his tears and all too soon his uncomfortable wooden chair at his desk was again a small boat for one. He was floating on a sea of every tear shed and he hadn't any paddles. There was real rain then, and a chilling wind planted shivers on his pale skin. There was nothing in any direction except sadness and an empty skyline limned by the orange and peach coloured skylight. The Memory's body appeared from under the water, pulling herself up into his already drenched lap. "You must stop following me here. Enduring all of this, over and over, for barely a glimpse?" He rUntitled in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
untitled XVunexpected.untitled XV in Free Verse More Like This
this would be unlike me if I was who I thought I would be.
and I'm trying to decipher this occurrence.
there's a pounding in my head and I assume its Opportunity,
but I've never had a welcome mat and it's only knocking out my sanity,
which is better than my teeth so I can still dream of insecurity,
but honestly I've never claimed a bit of my immaturity.
I think I'll tell you frequently how much you cannot mean to me
and push away my any thought that tries to convince me differently
because I'm frightened of this change you suggest with every single look you give
and I think you should know that I wish this wasn't good for me.
untitled IIIexpired bones splintered from useuntitled III in Free Verse More Like This
and rotting flesh birthed rasping cries
that echoed past the glowing crescent
that illuminated the otherwise concealing night.
rushed away from life and toward the nothingness
that was everyone's inevitable fate.
untitled XXIIthe snow laden boughs loomuntitled XXII in Free Verse More Like This
and veil the serpentine pass.
without stint I wallow.
as I traverse the earth in shades of grey
a viator, bestowed no notice
to relinquish prosaic thoughts.
to luxuriate in the nothingness
and absence of others.
untitled XVIIa broken realmuntitled XVII in Free Verse More Like This
and a falling passage.
old and hollow
faded and formless.
a dark path,
to save me from the rising sun.
untitled XIIIanother time you've looked through meuntitled XIII in Free Verse More Like This
inexplicably deaf to my suffering.
only I had the stealth to slip by you
no vacancy in your worries
and I'm sorry.
elastic reaches and falling short
distance chills my pleas
releases all warmth and
the wraith of allure.
your insouciance drips
down my spine
THE WISDOM OF LOVETHE WISDOM OF LOVETHE WISDOM OF LOVE in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
A wise man once asked me if I truly knew about love,
I said I thought so, but I was willing to learn more thereof,
He looked at me and said these words, "Love is redemption,
But truly unconditional love is without any exemption."
With those words he had me wanting to know more,
I had never looked at love as being redeeming before,
But it made perfect sense, because in it we find salvation,
Furthermore, love is limitless and free from segregation,
He spoke of a love that dares all of us in so many ways,
And how when we find our way run to it, no wasting days,
I found his words to be so profound, advice I cannot forget,
He taught me that telling someone "I love you" has no regret,
"They're three words often said too much when it doesn't exist,
Yet they are seldom spoke enough when the feeling insists."
He talked of how deep love can be, like the abyss of an ocean,
That made a resounding impact upon me to say such a notion,
I definitely let him know I would take his wis
NOTHING MANNOTHING MANNOTHING MAN in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Sometimes I feel that this world would never miss me,
For I am invisible in a society too self-consumed to see,
In the eyes of many I'm just a mere name existing,
Some will read this and comment to me insisting,
That I am someone who walks according to plan,
Yet I find myself more each day becoming a nothing man,
There are times the mirror reflects my bane of existence,
It's a theme in my life that shows up with great persistence,
At least to me it is, for as I said I'm just a name to you,
Perhaps I'm even giving more credit to that which is due,
Am I hated or am I loved or does this world even care?
All I ask is for someone to open up your eyes and share,
Share with me that this nothing man is my mind lying,
Instead, I feel that I'm just a lonely soul, simply dying
INTO MY THOUGHTSINTO MY THOUGHTSINTO MY THOUGHTS in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
These voices, a thousand different voices in my head,
An agonizing attempt to get me to do what they've said,
They are the scars on what once was a brilliant mind,
But time and trauma have long since left the genius behind,
They are incessant verbalizations that taunt me,
As well as the unrelenting mistakes that haunt me,
I am mentally beaten and broken down,
Forever shackled to the sins I must lug around,
Trust me for it is the truth when I say,
You don't want to see through my mind's eye in any way,
It's a sickness, a life sucking disease you'll see,
The continuous circle of viciousness that surrounds me,
If only there was a forgivable way out,
I would take it with no hesitation or doubt,
I am lucky if you will, in some respects,
For my mind slips into the void each day allowing me to forget,
This is my response to you, who choose to criticize,
Step into my world, dive into my thoughts and perhaps you'll realize,
We all have different ways, some by choice others by c
NO NAME GIRLNO NAME GIRLNO NAME GIRL in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
She's the beautiful girl with no name,
Yet she lives in solitude and shame,
Burdened by desolation and sorrow,
Hardened by no cares for tomorrow,
Once she was a child spoiled rotten,
Now she's simply a woman forgotten,
Humble now in every possible way,
All because the world had to get its say,
And with all that, it left her far behind,
Remnants of an abandoned heart to find,
She can't bring herself to lofty dreams,
It's her against fears and worries it seems,
But these are merely my thoughts I know,
Wonders I have each day with her shy hello,
Today is different I'll try to get her to speak,
Yet days have passed, it's been over a week,
And I'm wondering why have I not seen her,
Rarely have I missed her, did something occur?
I guess she was enjoying a deserved vacation,
I missed her nonetheless for any occasion,
So I asked a colleague about no name girl,
Her reply, "Didn't you hear? She left this world."
My heart sunk, for she committed suicide,
I suppose from it all she cou
NO TRUTH IS PERFECTNO TRUTH IS PERFECTNO TRUTH IS PERFECT in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Hush little girl, you're throwing rocks again,
Mind your business, for there are houses of mirrors,
If you throw a stone at one, the image will remain,
Have I made myself clear?
Apparently not, for your mouth has caught my ire,
Don't let me warn you about getting burnt,
You know for a fact the dangers of dancing in the fire,
I guess some never quite take from lessons learned.
I'm in your head right now, reading your every thought,
May I ask as to why you are so fake?
Oh here we go with all the battles only you have fought,
Flashing your credentials, there's only so much I can take.
Go on and be upon your snobbish way,
The truth can hit you hard when you least expect,
I know it hurts when the truth lies in what I say,
I only wanted you to know that not even I am perfect
TAKE ME BACKTAKE ME BACKTAKE ME BACK in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Take me back to our days of weed and cheap alcohol,
We were just naïve kids, who thought we knew it all,
Chasing dreams that so few of us were able to reach,
The rest of us learned from lessons you just can’t teach,
A lot of us came back home, but it’s just not the same,
Certain faces we remember, but forgot their names,
We’d fiddle around with love, but few stayed together,
Our dreams were those of youth, who believed in forever,
Music cranked, as we cruised all around this small town,
And there’s you, I know you loved me, but I let you down,
If only you’d known how you were the apple of my eye,
Regrets for not showing it, keep me questioning why,
Why did I go and leave you that way, crying in your tracks,
If only I had turned around, maybe you’d have taken me back…
KINGS AND QUEENSKINGS AND QUEENSKINGS AND QUEENS in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
We were the Kings and Queens,
Of yesterday's dreams,
The world was ours and ours alone,
We sought the freedom to be on our own,
Sandwiched between adulthood and kids,
We knew it all, nobody else did,
I'd bet if you'd ask anyone of us now,
Life didn't go like we planned somehow,
We've lost good friends along our way,
Often letting aspirations slip away,
For most of us it didn't go how we thought,
Burdens and tragedies we've since fought,
But we came alive in a rather listless time,
Lackadaisical, that's what comes to mind,
We were apathetic to it all,
Never giving a damn I do recall,
Those were our days, our time to reign,
Royal tyrants with nothing to lose, all to gain,
Toppling authority with not one regret,
We've all moved on, but lest we not forget,
Although brief, we ran the scenes,
During a time when we were Kings and Queens
PERFECTLY IMPERFECTPERFECTLY IMPERFECTPERFECTLY IMPERFECT in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
If you ask her, she'll say she has mounting imperfections,
But I just don't see any and I've looked from various directions,
In my eyes, she's flat out beautiful in every step of the way,
Maybe I've lost my sight and haven't seen her in the light of day,
No, that's not it at all for she's perfection I wish she'd just agree,
When she looks in the mirror, what imperfections does she see?
These "imperfections" are not blatantly obvious to the naked eye,
She will often say she's ugly, such a statement I continually deny,
Her beauty goes way beyond skin deep, she has a beautiful soul,
Lest we not forget how sublime her heart is, for mine she stole,
Over time I have learned to just play along with her little skit,
I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you I believe in beautiful and she is it,
Now when I wake her in the morning with a smile and a kiss,
I go along and remind her of how perfectly imperfect she truly is
BREAKING UP WITH LIFEBREAKING UP WITH LIFEBREAKING UP WITH LIFE in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I'm breaking up with life I don't know what else to say,
We had a good run for thirty-five years, now we must part ways,
I never wanted to hurt you like this, but I can't go on pretending,
No more lies to justify that what we had was never ending,
We all fall down and almost always find our feet again,
I'm sad for doing this to you, but I must find my smile dear friend,
You've weighed me down and you've become impossible to find,
Trust me when I say this, I gave you my all and left nothing behind,
I can't keep living this way while fulfilling expectations set by you,
In the same, I can't keep disappointing your unrealistic views,
Farewell life, farewell to our memories both the good and the bad,
If it's any consolation in this moment, you were the best I've ever had.
TOMORROWS PASSEDTOMORROWS PASSEDTOMORROWS PASSED in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I know you lost him for good with all the pills he ate,
He loved them more than you, he didn't even hesitate,
You watched him die lying there in a stupor of repose,
For that was his best rest in years one might suppose,
He was always taking extremes with his indulgent actions,
Always leaving you feeling a sense of broken satisfactions,
I'd assume you never understood the obstacles he faced,
Did you ever wonder why his priorities were displaced?
Or was it just that you'd turn him away, citing your own vanity,
Never occurring to you that he was lost in his own insanity?
Well he was so lost in it that there was only one way out,
He believed Hell is where the cowards go, he had no doubt,
I think he sees now he was mistaken and thankfully wrong,
Dry your eyes tonight and try your best to remain strong,
He cannot apologize to you and loved ones, not how he'd like,
Emptiness looms your first time without him next to you tonight,
Try your best to get some rest tonight an
paper cranes and picket fencesi am folding you one thousand paper cranes because it is all we have left.paper cranes and picket fences in Free Verse More Like This
legend says that if i fold one thousand paper cranes, i will get a wish. i could wish for a pair of iridescent wings or an ocean in a teacup or just to finally be happy again, but i don't want any of that--with every crane i fold i am imagining you. one crane for the circles under your eyes, one crane for your jutting ribs, one crane for every seizure.
i love you and you're dying and i will run out of paper trying to fold your broken pieces into birds.
you drew me a picture of us in the future.
our houses were next door to each other and a white picket fence separated our property and oh god, it made me curl into a ball and ache for hours. see, in a perfect world, the clouds would always be fluffy and our mailboxes would always be full of hand-drawn pictures and our smiles would be lopsided but permanent.
i hung it on my refrigerator as a reminder that there is still hope, but paper is so fragile and i am afra
borderline nostalgic.i used to stand in the middle of the railroad track on sundays, one foot on either side of the county border line, just so i could tell you that i was in two places at once.borderline nostalgic. in Free Verse More Like This
you would shake your head in that disapproving, familiar way, and tell me that no one could be in two places at once, and besides, standing on railroad tracks was illegal, and i had better watch it or else i was liable to get ticketed.
i informed you that wanting to live a little was not illegal.
the day you died i rode full speed down the nearby hill with my bare legs on the handlebars of my mother's bike, the sun shining full in my eyes. i swear to god my hands lifted off the handlebars and flew away, and to this day i still can't find them, but you, you know where they are.
i got a ticket for walking on those railroad tracks and two weeks ago i rode down that hill remembering you, and when i crashed at the bottom i thought i felt you hold my hand.
but no one can be in two places at once.
a poem for terrible people.i want to write a poem about primrosesa poem for terrible people. in Free Verse More Like This
and how i am not a terrible person.
i am disordered but not disorderly. i am broken up.
i think nice thoughts like "streetlight" and "linens,"
and is there an instruction guide on happiness?
i could write one for you.
step one, paint your eyes cobalt blue.
step two, hang fireworks from coat hangers.
step three, turn into a dandelion. blow away.
my heart tries to escape from my throat.
okay, i am guilty in ways that you cannot tell anyone,
ever, not even imaginary best friends.
or real ones.
freud says i am an iceberg, but i don't know
if he means i am full of repressed thought
or just a frigid bitch who will cut you open.
step four, there is no step four.
if i am an iceberg, i desperately need someone
to warm me in the palms of their hands.
no one ever will though, because i sink ships
and tear people apart.
once there was a girl who told people
that she was not terrible, but the primroses
in her garden would never bloom
as if th
being in love.it's like when you were five, when your pet rabbit diedbeing in love. in Free Verse More Like This
and you learned that nothing good lasts.
it's like the time you dropped him off at his house to watch tv
before you drove yourself to the emergency room, sobbing.
it's like the first time you saw your kindergarten teacher cry.
it's like ring around the rosie, a pocket full of posies, ashes. ashes.
it's like when he went too far, and he said, "is this okay?"
and you said, "no," but it didn't matter.
it's like when he said, "but i want you."
it's like the number seven, or rubies.
it's like when you almost drowned in the pool in north carolina
and when you looked up through the broken surface you thought
you saw god's face in the clouds.
it's like when he told you, "it's okay, it's going to be okay," and it wasn't.
it's like when you found out monsters weren't real
but every night you still woke up screaming.
the perfect strangershe misses colin the most at night, when, waking from nightmares, her hand reaches out into the darkness for someone who is no longer there.the perfect stranger in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
an unexpected message flares briefly on her screen, long enough for her heart to drop into her stomach in surpriseher ex-boyfriend's little sister's ex-boyfriend? sighing, she types a hello and strains her memory to recall what she knows of this boy from their one brief meeting. his name is aaron. tall. shaggy bed-head hair. sleepy hazel eyes. she lightly touches the keyboard, entertaining the notion that other people might feel as lonely at night as she does.
"tell me a secret," she types to him.
"why should I put my trust in you?" he asks, surprised.
"who better to trust than a stranger?"
so he does.
a five minute secret turns into an hour long story, then a night-long conversation.
the next morning, after telling this boy how colin broke her, she wakes to a message in her inbox:
The world is yours.
Boys are stupid.
fog.have you ever driven throughfog. in Free Verse More Like This
a fog so thick that you can part it
with your fingers? a fog so dense
that you stick your hand through
the car window and watch it disappear?
these special fogs press
heavy on your eyes and ears,
fill the dips of your collarbone,
quiet the murmurs living
inside your throat.
before i drove through this mountain
and through this fog there were bills
to pay and children to teach, people
i hated and people i loved. there were mental
disorders and electrocardiograms. fears.
now there is only the positioning
of my hands. a steering wheel. a whisper
in my ear that says "drive carefully."
a cliff and a guardrail.
now there is fog.
and maybe, if i wish hard enough,
the fog will keep me.
i am not afraid of dying.
i am just afraid.
the kingdom of life and deathtwo weeks ago i threw a stonethe kingdom of life and death in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
at the water and watched it skip three times, thinking
it will never do to grow old and content.
somewhere beneath this river
there is a castle built from stones i've thrown,
and all of the fish are kings and queens.
they've never been asked about their royal decrees.
no one has ever wished them a happy birthday.
they reign over the kingdom of life and death, and even the river
refuses to stop and mourn them when they go.
one week ago i found a moss-covered stump,
and instead of crying, i counted its rings.
if you were to cut me crosswise, i don't know
what you'd find. perhaps severed arteries
pouring out gold and poetry,
ancient cave paintings splashed across my vertebrae,
or the secret to immunity brewing
in the cauldron of my hips.
maybe you wouldn't find anything.
i cannot grow rings, after all,
and i am no queen.
today, to celebrate my birthday,
i will head down to the river with a saw
slung over my shoulder and
chop down a t
12-21-12The Mayans said it first, but12-21-12 in Free Verse More Like This
tea leaves said it second, her palm
said it third, and the boy
down the road, the one with the blue,
blue eyes, said it fourth.
The world was going to end and she
could not be happier.
Her affairs were easy to arrange:
money sealed into envelopes,
the microwave unplugged, and one
last kiss for the blue-eyed boy.
She called her mother,
and her mother did not answer.
(But she did not expect her to.)
That evening she hid beneath
a blanket with her dog and told stories
about the good times and the bad times
(but mostly the bad times, and how
now there would never have to be
bad times ever again).
Then she went to bed, heart lighter
than light, winged with hope,
and woke up crying.
telling a sad story backwards-17.telling a sad story backwards- in Short Stories More Like This
it smells like grief and sterilized metal.
i climb into andrews bed, though the nurses have strictly forbidden it. he closes his eyes and holds me tightly, because he says when he cant see me, it is easier to pretend i never happened to him.
he pushes the cart aggressively down the aisle, pretending to mow over old ladies doing their sunday shopping.
"stop," i say giggling, lobbing a can of ravioli at him.
for a moment i think he simply didn't see me throw the can; it glances off his chest and falls to the floor, exploding in a pattern of red arrows. i don't notice his eyes rolling back in his head or the graceful way his body collapses to the floor.
the only thing i notice is the distinct thudding sound as his head hits the metal shelf and the screaming that may or may not be mine.
later in the hospital he calls for me and says he wants to apologize for keeping secrets, and the doctors launch into a medical explanation of his cancer.
their eyes are sad.
SerpentI run low to the ground and humble,Serpent in Free Verse More Like This
caught parallel and thin
without legs or feet -
just a bare belly
to bow and scrape to no one.
I was a siren,
out of place and uncomfortable,
tucked behind the wild weeds
and the smell of fruit
making the tree boughs lazy.
But a green flash
took her breath away
and she thought me
DriftwoodDriftwood in Free Verse More Like This
around the dawn
as if begging
for a favor,
so smooth and sharp
worn bare by August -
a mermaid's rib
rubs salt from sand,
the battering lilt of seagulls
against the summer sun.
Season of the WitchSomething slow and arcaneSeason of the Witch in Free Verse More Like This
culls this fire
and flares like ghosts.
It stirs your soul,
splits the iris of your eye,
a spectrum to haunt October -
ruddy gold and rust,
followed by a dark so smooth,
it smothers embers
and roosts upon the river,
too deep to drown you.
And in the depths -
muddles silt and pine,
witches' brew of
tar voiced stones
and hold you down
Lady GrayLady Gray in Free Verse More Like This
No one suspected
she had blood
all over her tiny white hands
like sad red prayers
tucked into immaculate doeskin
and hidden from the world.
She kept count of her bad deeds
like a strand of rosary beads
suspended from her wrist
savoring each remembrance
vibrating on the chain
with a self-indulgent smile
And her sweet face bore no years
and her delicate fingers
left no trace
of the crimes
hanging inside her mouth
the hook and eye of her lips
stained like a broken bird.
But an artist had caught
the sockets behind her eyes
bulleted like wormwood
and where her cheekbones caved
under sallow flesh
and the vibrations of that chain
scored the skin between her fingers
leaving the canvas ruined
and the paint cracking
under her heart.
MilkwoodI've got that old 2 am feelingMilkwood in Free Verse More Like This
eloquence drowned in brandy wine
spirits my veins,
makes my words go boisterous
my poetry sounds brilliant
thundered back to me
from the bricks
spinning under my head.
I am at war with the worlds
sliding down my walls
and stars from the gutter
battering the sky
with the unpinned glory of gods
and my random lunacy
ricocheting and left dancing
through the trees' black lace
like the brash kiss of armageddon....
Fortune TellerHer teacup gathers words,Fortune Teller in Free Verse More Like This
under the rim,
spilling temptation like a raven's wing.
She says my future's bright -
a ripe, fine apple
to be plundered,
my hopes a restless treasure
to change direction
and drain the danger
at her edge.
ThiefThe man with the umbrella smileThief in Free Verse More Like This
and bright crooked eyes
strips down the daylight
like a hunter skinning first kill
He lurches under a darkling moon
tucking kite string under his coat
where the wind gathers tears and leaves
and scatters you in bits and pieces.
He has cold hands without gloves
and loves to touch you secretly
when he thinks the moon is not watching
and your lips are stitched shut
by a mother's weary hands.
His sighs are solitary shades
growing in a damp knot
under the stretch of your dress
where he baits your breath
and forces you to hold it
until you turn blue.
He offers you pieces of stars
and pretty things to wear
places promises on your tongue
that hang like cloaks in dark closets
and presses you to keep secrets
arched between your thighs
tucked up inside your belly.
He unpins night from the sky
and rolls it up under your bed
tucking it in safe and secure
in the corners he hides from your family
disguising the abomination
that calls itself sanctuary.
SaviourHang your wings upSaviour in Free Verse More Like This
for me tonight
and tremble, frail
and pale as winter's skin
within my arms.
Be my stranger,
an undone deed
I can carry like a candle
or a verse
whose words are simple
and let me feel it flame
like a soft bandage on my wounds.
Be my damage,
an unhealed skirmish
so sore that sorrow wanders
like a buried child
and banish me to yesterday
and fill my cup
with all I've ruined.
Hang your wings up
for me tonight
and tumble, silent
and fragile as summer sin
within my arms
and be my savior -
one long last shudder
behind my eyes
where you never thought
PlaygroundPlayground in Free Verse More Like This
All that autumn her ghost haunted the playground;
no wisping phantom, but strident bits and pieces
clamoring for attention - a pair of black patent
leather shoes waiting expectantly by the teeter-totter.
And Sister Teresa had to pry red woolen mittens
off the jungle gym every morning.
Jimmy Boyle kept seeing her sweater at the swings,
its green wooly arms daring him to go higher
and trying to tag him "it".
And her best friend, Jenny Black
could see the flash of her pigtails
throwing copper across the kickball field
where recess waited to swallow them.
The toys vanished from the sandbox every evening
leaving nothing but a soft trail of disappointment
in their wake -
their accusations of neglect
and longing crouched under the
maple trees, swarming with the bees.
But winter proved a discordant grave -
the protest of frozen ground
an errant melody in the schoolyard
and her shoes kept shrinking
and stumbled down the slide,
leaving a thick crust of frost
like somber tracks that said good-bye
TortureSometimes I like to torture wordsTorture in Free Verse More Like This
with obscene acts to nouns and verbs.
I tie them up in sentences
and whip them till they make no sense.
I love the screams of prepositions
while pulling them in odd positions;
and conjunctions make a lovely din
when decapitated by my pen.
I bind the wrists of adjectives
just for the pleasure that it gives
and adverbs leave me hot and bothered
once their meaning is uncovered.
Interjections beg for release
with pronouns trembling on their knees.
And once my fiendish work is done,
you'll find that I have just begun
my scheme to try and make you see
it's not perverse - it's poetry.
Dear cutterDear cutter in Free Verse More Like This
How do you see your flesh?
Do you watch the pulsing of your veins?
Did the voices scream in your ear?
Whispering for you to grab the knife,
To slice through your wrist?
Ever felt the desire to watch the blood flow?
Did you forget the heartache?
For that momentary pain along your arm?
And do you feel like these scars are your identity?
That without them, without their reminder, you wouldn't be you?
My dear, they are nothing, but you, you are worth so much more,
Stop the knife, push back its blade, to see the truth.
That you are stronger than any kind of pain.
FearFear, It eats usFear in Free Verse More Like This
Tears us, burns us, pushes us
Consumes our very soul.
Only if we feed it do we empower it
Secrets upon our being
Stepped to overrule the master
To face the fear, but not to be afraid.
Heart poundingFor everytime I crossed that hole,Heart pounding in Free Verse More Like This
The one I could barely resist to go in,
The way I'd smirk and stomp my foot like a horse,
For the temptation that flared in my belly,
Of how I'd have to turn away,
With a heart pounding excitement.
For everytime he crossed my path,
The one I could barely resist to smile at,
Of teasing gestures and smirks about,
The way he seemed so perfectly sane,
For the temptation that flared in my belly,
Of how I'd have to turn away,
With this heart pounding excitement.
For everytime anger crossed my path,
The one I could barely resist inside,
Of the rage and un-control it brought,
The way it it burned like an inferno,
For the temptation that flared in my belly,
Of how I'd have to turn away,
With this heart pounding confusion.
Was it I?His heart was cold -filled with such hate.Was it I? in Free Verse More Like This
No matter how much I tried to love him,
He grew more dark with each passing day.
Was it I that's the reason why?
TonightWalking with his head down- gaze fixed on the ground.Tonight in Free Verse More Like This
Another day to survive- on the streets he calls his home.
He fights for his spot- in a dark alley at night.
Where he covers himself with a cardboard box- and begs the rain to stop.
People pass him by- with upturned noses and scornful glances.
They don't understand- the story that led him to this place.
With God.With God. in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
The wind rages.
Trees being pushed around,
A heart fades to gray as it watches.
Knowing how it feels from within.
The storm raging inside herself.
Tossing her around like a leaf.
She wishes for the sun,
Prays for the calmer side of life.
But with each passing day hope fades.
The wind rages.
Trees being pushed around,
The storm worsens
Slams her hard against the rocks.
Smashing her to the core.
She wants it to end,
Longing for the pain to leave.
So she drops to her knees one final time.
In hopes that her cries will not go unheard.
She throws up her arms and calls out.
The wind rages.
Trees being pushed around,
With a wave of His hands the winds stop,
With a whispered word the rains cease.
The storm disappears in a blink of an eye.
He wraps His arms around the girl.
Holding her against His strong chest.
Brushing His hand across her cheek.
As He whisp
Among the livingHis eyes were darker than the night,Among the living in Free Verse More Like This
Fangs that shamed the very wolf.
Claws that'd rip through steel,
As evil as the devil himself.
A monster who scared them all,
His very essence was violent and cold.
But a child, fearless and innocent-
Reached out in love.
Taking a claim within his being,
Proving to this life,
He was among the living.
BeyondIncredible feelings rushing in,Beyond in Free Verse More Like This
Tamed and less than wild.
But all together refreshing.
The way you're making me understand,
Things I hadn't before.
Encouraging to control myself,
In these dire situations.
Yet to explore the unknown,
To touch just beyond the surface.
But falling short of bracing love...
Broken manI've fought my battles- earning these ugly scars.Broken man in Free Verse More Like This
I've killed men- shot some between the eyes.
Pulled injured comrades off the field,
Gaining respect from them all.
But they don't see the demons I live with,
Imps of hell filling my dreams.
The torment that greets me at night.
Had I not fought in that war,
I'd be whole and not a broken man.
FoxholeGun shots echo from all around- like evil voices upon the wind.Foxhole in Free Verse More Like This
Seeping into the minds of all- soldiers of different forces.
Bombs, land-mines, grenades- dangerous traps that are a step to death.
One man, risen from his foxhole in the ground- his life he sacrifices for them.