beLIEveYou'll never know,beLIEve in Free Verse More Like This
and I can never let you,
I'll hide behind an adulterer's shroud,
and make all the lies seem true,
but even in this skin I am not home,
I'm not being completely true,
sitting at an ungodly throne
just to protect you.
My ultimate act of love
and self preservation,
my divinity shows I am from heaven above,
as well does my deviation.
You fail to see where you're so wrong,
and I cannot correct you,
and you call me a ticking bomb,
I'll leave nothing when I'm through.
and it was definitely hard enough,
plenty of times
but I guess I've got too much blood.
Call me insignificant
if it'll help you,
say you regret all of it,
but are you sure that's true?
Leave nothing to rest.
are more than their surface.
just question your
None of it's true.
I lied to you.
And it's so fucking hilarious to watch two worlds collapse, once so joined, but torn by paranoia and hatred held in such secrecy. Contempt was the enemy.
You'll never fu
UglyShe sleeps without her shirt onUgly in Free Verse More Like This
and closes the envelope with closed eyes
hands caressing a body too well known
under burning and falling skies.
Always have been, always will be;
He fixes his tie and looks down at his watch
he contemplates again if he knows what he's doing
the pain in his chest never stops
but the bell rings and he forgets what he's thinking.
always have been, never will change,
Lights are fixed and the stage is set,
one last call from the green room,
one last sound check,
and the mask goes on.
Success is easy to change
from cryptic to analytic,
just follow these simple steps,
and you can be living in your own lie.
So say good night when you finally wake
to your soul which you need to leave behind,
because we can't be mutual on a moving train;
Once you're on the right track,
we'll ask if you're off on our stop
'cause we're all afraid
that the lies we tell someone else
are the lies they tell themselves
It's funny how sick you are.So you see yourselfIt's funny how sick you are. in Free Verse More Like This
watching your own hell
consume your being
the other side of the line--
what it really means, this time.
It's funny how sick you are.
You pretend to care just to get that far--
Yes, that far; far enough into people's clothes
who, just hours ago, you didn't know.
It's funny how sick you are.
It's twisted how you've gotten this far.
With your inability to pay attention
to someone's own self destruction,
you shrug it off and pretend not to get it,
you don't see how fed up with
you they all are.
They crystallize the sky
and pierce themselves into your mind,
streaking wildly to the ground
to isolate you in your town.
There's two types of people here:
Those that never come back.
Those that never leave.
It's funny how sick you are.
Everyone's coming back here, eventually.
And it's for your funeral.
It's funny how sick you are.
Even this doesn't stop your juxtaposition
of odd mannerisms
to trap people in your web--
oh, how we hate spiders to death.
Coffee AddictI'm tired of this.Coffee Addict in Free Verse More Like This
Thinking that, somehow, someway, things'll change,
and it isn't the thought that scares me,
it's the reality that it will.
It'll be out of my control,
and I've grasped that concept,
but hear me out:
I'm tired of thinking about it.
One day, I'm going to wake up and realize
that these plans I've built for myself
can no longer contain that aspect I've been trying to control.
That trying is something inside of me
that will happen whether or not I'm ready for it.
That this subject of change is something that's beyond reach,
Obsessive compulsive, rationality's revolting.
This personality is something that has changed,
and it still isn't the thought that scares me.
It just might be reality.
Maybe I've never really brought this to your attention,
but it's hit me like a bus over and over again;
I'm a bad parallel parker.
I move in,
just a little back,
just a little forward
then back, forward, back, forward, then a little more back, and a little more forward
just to wind up in
There is Nothing, Nothing Wrong at All.I can see her dreams in her eyesThere is Nothing, Nothing Wrong at All. in Free Verse More Like This
and the way she quakes at night
sometimes she'd be better off without me there at all.
They are not what they claim to be.
I can only smile when I see the it in her face,
the pieces are no longer misplaced.
'cause dreams do come true;
but nightmares are dreams, too.
And when her eyes have nothing behind them to see,
and shout that she's through,
I know there's nothing left to do;
and she's as empty as me.
Canvas IV.iiiThe internet has been my friend, these past hours.Canvas IV.iii in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
It turns out, this 'Officer Roux' has a few awards under her belt. She's got quite a few photos with her shaking hands with Mr. Blahblahblah of the Police WhateverAndSo, and after a few clicks, I find a perfect picture of her face, microphone a few inches from her lips and attached to a podium. She's got a beautiful smile plastered on her face. I run the cursor down her jawline and to her jugular notch. I feel the growl emanating from my throat and I flick my eyes up to hers.
I can't help but smile.
It didn't take long to find out about her, which was surprising, considering the small town we share. After turning everything off and striping myself, I open the window and look out across the grass and trees.
Again, I smile broadly.
I plop down onto the mattress and fall asleep within minutes-- disappointed that I had to take down and burn the mural above my bed. Don't worry, I tell myself, You'll make a new one, soon enough.
DoubleCrimson soaked through his bandages. It surrounded his arm where the IV was fastened into him. I've never seen this man before in my life.Double in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
But I know him more than he knows himself.
I can't explain it.
Ever since I got the tattoo, I haven't been able to explain it. Right in the back of my neck, right underneath my collar. The only thing accompanying it is a scar from.. another story. Another time. Not now. Not with him right in front of me.
I sat down on his left side, the side with all the blood. His wrists were handcuffed to the hospital bed. That, alone, is enough for me to know he pulled the IV out. It'd explain the bandage around his neck. I looked at his ID bracelet.. I knew it. The numbers that repeated in my mind, the faint echo of a name that I can barely whisper.. I don't even know how I found his room. I just knew he'd be in room 17. I just knew he'd be barely awake when I got here. I knew he'd be waiting for me.
I put my hand in his and the other on his face. I feel
I: F----I: F in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
My stomach's been empty for a week.
I haven't eaten anything more than a couple of fuckin' pretzels in three days. My appetite has diminished entirely. But now, for some reason, the hunger's coming back.
I walk into the local supermarket-- nothing all too grand-- but the air cannon on top of the door sends shivers down my spine and chills all the way up my arms.
I'm already shaking from the cold.
I walk over to an aisle at random, and of all I could choose to walk by, I walk by the dairy section on my way.
A lot of my friends are lactose intolerant, but I've managed to find my way far from that plague.
It doesn't stop my stomach from churning reluctantly.
I stop short of the soda in the aisle that I finally decide on.
May as well start small and simple.
I reach in my purse for the little wallet I have, and I'm actually impressed by the amount of money that I've saved from simply not eating for a week.
Now I'm hungry.
She started pulling everything off the rack
ExitstanceYou'd earn so much more through my deathExitstance in Free Verse More Like This
than my continued existence.
It seems like every breath
is a pain I can't get rid of.
I'm a parasite, a leech,
a liar, and a thief.
I'm tired of you running around
in places where there are no sound;
No meaning, no clear definition,
and foolhardy excuses.
But I'm tired of making them,
I need a new engine,
a software upgrade
and my hard drive's outdated.
But you won't accept this
because I'm "relevant."
I was. At least,
that's what I'd like to think,
coming from myself,
I'm weary of Hell.
Life is a detriment
to my own faithlessness.
But faith means belief without evidence.
I can believe that I had faith when I saw the hardcopy.
My funeral is something you'd had to see
for yourself, like it or not.
But you're continuing to rot.
You know what's not what I want for you;
You know you're my Achilles heel, but only that much is true.
You've left me breathless since the day I saw you--
since that insidious dream came through.
Now all I have are nightmar
EnergeAnd so I've carried on,Energe in Free Verse More Like This
as if this was something naturally in my strife.
And being the only one
letting everyone else decide.
I can't feel
the same fulfillment and pride
that keeps us real
no matter how we despise.
that keeps sustaining me
restrains my intention
no matter the determination.
So I'll meet you
to the Devil that's inside,
tearing away to the truth
and leaving nowhere left to hide.
I'll keep myself at bay
long enough for you to stray;
The Angel's no longer by your side,
you can't be protected by your lies.
that keeps sustaining me
restrains all I've hoped for
leaves me nothing but resentful.
So turn an ear,
deaf as it may be;
Listen, don't just hear,
to true reality.
Grasp at all your hopes
but don't just dream away,
leave behind the crutch and rope;
You live each and every day.
Since death only occurs once,
leave the arrogance behind
and pride's just as useless.
It's yourself you need to find.
that keeps hindering me
has been my only sou
barcelona is burningi owe you an apology-barcelona is burning in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
you, in the crowd,
the one panicking about reading
or the mess at home
or the sheer volume of people
pressing into you like corners;
the woman who birthed me into this world
through hours of agony
as though that wasn't enough
because doctor appointment after therapy appointment after residential stay after thirtieth pound lost,
i've put you through countless
warped into months of agony
you never asked for;
and you, oh, mostly you.
you, because as hard as i've beaten my own heart into the wall,
and as deep as i let you bury mine,
i know, somehow, i managed to do the same to you.
you left, and i left two weeks after.
every night was a terror;
every morning was a letdown.
i ached constantly
and threw myself into books
like they would become oxygen masks until i could breathe on my own again.
and here's the thing, you know,
because you would knock my legs out from under me again and again.
"let's fall back in love," you'd say,
and i would fall to
155this is not the time or place for us to speak like this. we are sitting in your car at the walmart parking lot. it's not a mile from my house, but it's better than stopping at the dead end of my street.155 in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
we don't move for the five seconds following the moment you cut the ignition; from there, your eyes drop to the stuffed animal you won me -- a token of the high-noon days of our summer -- that oscillates between your hands.
the sun shifts from low to lower, dipping behind clouds and city silhouettes until the lights come on. the list of things i need to tell you becomes unreadable in the failing light, so you press a button and i can see again.
i wish there was a button like that for you, and for me. maybe it would be between the fingers of our opposite hands, so if the webbings of our thumbs met in embrace, you would remember the way you felt for me in the nights we spent on friends' couches, just revelling in the feel of each other's bodies
mesentery.i get the same feeling lookingmesentery. in Free Verse More Like This
at you as i do dissecting cats
but it's ok
i know it just means
i want to be more in love than
the man who first wrote about true love;
i want it to swallow my soul
and i don't want to mind;
i want it to kill me
i think i should be dead
and this would be a beautiful way to go -
dying for someone better
than myself, unselfish until
realised it's the most selfish
of selfish things,
to love & be loved.
that kind of sickening.
paroxysms, that kind of sickening.
the shape of your lips,
in all their beauty:
that kind of
newnessi should have been wholernewness in Free Verse More Like This
the moon as it waxes
my breath as it wanes
blue in the night air,
i hope it spreads like wildfire.
i am writhing in my weak skin,
a dance like salt from the sea
in all its midnight shines.
i feel a strong beat
in my heart,
a deep breathing pulsing
in the cage of my chest.
it is like constellations,
my body, home.
it is like the whole house hums.
tonight is static electric.
if your body could talk,
it would tell you
it loves me
even if your heart doesn't.
the first poem i wrote since i told you i love youthe star-soaked stainsthe first poem i wrote since i told you i love you in Free Verse More Like This
that covered our nudity
gives way at last
to a tequila sunrise,
so low in the sky;
it's still bright enough
to sting my eyes,
and yet i can't bring myself
to hate it.
your body next to mine,
every effort is made
to move a heavy limb
because any space
is space i don't want.
i am sometimes humbled
by my feelings,
the way they swell
in my throat
just how the ocean
tastes the shore.
there is always something new
to find hidden in my heart,
summoned by my words,
or the salt of your skin
wearing like wind on shale
i don't think i can ever tell you
i love you enough.
if i could, i would never get dressed
so that you could never be sad-
a rewind every time
my clothes touch the floor,
never anything but nude, not naked
because with you i can be bare
i can let you see my entirety
and leave my arms uncrossed,
i can let you in
and not fear that you will break me,
or force my inner things out.
i can love you with open arms
and my lip
a lack of language, in coloursyou tell me you miss mea lack of language, in colours in Free Verse More Like This
and that i am more beautiful
than any girl in georgia
or even barcelona.
everything is fitting like magic
between fingers when they
and i swear for the past three nights,
that's all i've dreamt.
give me acrylics
and i still can't make you see
the exact shade of warm
you are to me.
give me the ocean
and there are not enough waves
in its body
to show just the way i feel
when our own vessels move together.
seven months since we last said goodbye,
since we last said hello-
i could fill libraries
to love you.
what i really want to ask
is if you think you can
love me this time.
police investigation"i've been thinking, what happens if i get killed."police investigation in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"you...die, you know?"
"yeah, yeah. i mean, i'd take my last gasping breath, pull in all this oxygen that will never hit my blood as it leaves my body, taking life with every thump of my heart, but what happens after."
"d'you mean like heaven and hell, or what?"
"no...see, i'm scared the police will see my messy room and my mom will read my diaries and cry because i've been sad more than i've been happy. i don't want that."
"you're human. that's part of being human. you're sad so much so you can really hang on to that happy feeling when you get it."
"but you never can get it enough."
"no, i suppose you can't."
"but you know what i do?"
"what i do is i write this shit on my walls, i draw hearts and suns and write LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! in all caps and exclamation points, just like that, and i just hope she thinks i know i'm loved. but see, i really don't. i hear it
incendiaryit was the city -- you know, a self-contained organism, a microcosm of reality in which we all take part. it's like a play, with our very orchestrated roles rehearsed perfectly until we can pull them off as smooth as ice.incendiary in Short Stories More Like This
it doesn't matter which city, because really, they're all the same -- paris, milan, barcelona...lawrence, pittsburgh, atlanta.
what matters is only that we were in the city. i was myself, playing the role of a love-struck jeweler, praying i could find just the right gem to put on my lover's finger someday, and she was herself, playing the role of sara.
sara, my love; sara, my heart; sara, the snow beneath my feet, the ice begging for me to slip
but still, we were here. glimpses of this city swallow my hunger -- i might never eat again if this were my home, the way it filled me up. but the moment i broke eye contact with this entity, this city with its glittering skyline, i felt the hollows in me ache again.
it felt rig
pray she doesn't knowhello,pray she doesn't know in Free Verse More Like This
i think i scream your name
in my sleep,
because my mother keeps
asking who you are.
she looks at me with knitted brows
and a hand halfway orbiting
i think she is afraid to touch me,
and her eyes look a little funny
when she says your name-
it sounds so wrong, thick and congealed
as it spills from her tongue and
over her teeth.
i want to ask her what i've been saying-
have i been screaming?
i don't know if i should know,
but her half-painted pink fingernails
hover and tremble between us,
and i keep thinking that it is the
same for you and for me;
we are simply drowning and all of nothing
is enough in this graveyard sea.
geneticism"i hate when you tell me you love me."geneticism in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"i love you."
"do you love her?"
"that old bag making sounds like a death rattle?"
"can't you just accept that i love you and move on?"
"not unless you tell me why you can't love her, too."
"because i love you, you're special to me."
"she should be special to you, too."
"i don't know her. she's nothing to me."
"she should be everything to you."
"why? how can i love her?"
"look. how can we love some people but not others? how can you love me but not the old woman sitting next to you on the city bus, breathing like city smoke and wringing her hands? i wring my hands, too."
"you're not like her. you're not like anyone else."
"you're making yourself look stupid. i'm the exact same as everyone else. we're all so similar. i mean, we're ninety-nine percent the same as any given person on this planet on a genetic level. we're all combinations of the same handful of characteristics, inside and out. you shouldn't lov
TAKE ME BACKTAKE ME BACKTAKE ME BACK in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Take me back to our days of weed and cheap alcohol,
We were just naïve kids, who thought we knew it all,
Chasing dreams that so few of us were able to reach,
The rest of us learned from lessons you just can’t teach,
A lot of us came back home, but it’s just not the same,
Certain faces we remember, but forgot their names,
We’d fiddle around with love, but few stayed together,
Our dreams were those of youth, who believed in forever,
Music cranked, as we cruised all around this small town,
And there’s you, I know you loved me, but I let you down,
If only you’d known how you were the apple of my eye,
Regrets for not showing it, keep me questioning why,
Why did I go and leave you that way, crying in your tracks,
If only I had turned around, maybe you’d have taken me back…
NO TRUTH IS PERFECTNO TRUTH IS PERFECTNO TRUTH IS PERFECT in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Hush little girl, you're throwing rocks again,
Mind your business, for there are houses of mirrors,
If you throw a stone at one, the image will remain,
Have I made myself clear?
Apparently not, for your mouth has caught my ire,
Don't let me warn you about getting burnt,
You know for a fact the dangers of dancing in the fire,
I guess some never quite take from lessons learned.
I'm in your head right now, reading your every thought,
May I ask as to why you are so fake?
Oh here we go with all the battles only you have fought,
Flashing your credentials, there's only so much I can take.
Go on and be upon your snobbish way,
The truth can hit you hard when you least expect,
I know it hurts when the truth lies in what I say,
I only wanted you to know that not even I am perfect
TWO THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO DAYSTWO THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO DAYSTWO THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO DAYS in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It's something I find myself thinking way too much of these days,
Though, I'd be shocked to know that you too thought the same way,
Two-thousand two-hundred and twenty-two days have passed,
Since you made your exit in a fashion tasteless and ever so crass,
Cowardice really, tucking your tail between your legs and running away,
Defining selfishness by never coming to me with why you couldn't stay,
A tragic story, one where a boy's heart is bruised, battered and broken,
I don't step away from my share of the blame, but you go unspoken,
You spent a bit of time doing God knows what with God knows who,
I can't believe I wasted the best years of my life with a whore like you,
Eight years given to us, I turn my back once and you stabbed it with ease,
I really didn't think you were so ignorant that you had Maude to appease,
Did you believe such a bitch with her own issues would be a guiding light?
God woman, they joke with me, but the truth is you'r
BREAKING UP WITH LIFEBREAKING UP WITH LIFEBREAKING UP WITH LIFE in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I'm breaking up with life I don't know what else to say,
We had a good run for thirty-five years, now we must part ways,
I never wanted to hurt you like this, but I can't go on pretending,
No more lies to justify that what we had was never ending,
We all fall down and almost always find our feet again,
I'm sad for doing this to you, but I must find my smile dear friend,
You've weighed me down and you've become impossible to find,
Trust me when I say this, I gave you my all and left nothing behind,
I can't keep living this way while fulfilling expectations set by you,
In the same, I can't keep disappointing your unrealistic views,
Farewell life, farewell to our memories both the good and the bad,
If it's any consolation in this moment, you were the best I've ever had.
TOMORROWS PASSEDTOMORROWS PASSEDTOMORROWS PASSED in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I know you lost him for good with all the pills he ate,
He loved them more than you, he didn't even hesitate,
You watched him die lying there in a stupor of repose,
For that was his best rest in years one might suppose,
He was always taking extremes with his indulgent actions,
Always leaving you feeling a sense of broken satisfactions,
I'd assume you never understood the obstacles he faced,
Did you ever wonder why his priorities were displaced?
Or was it just that you'd turn him away, citing your own vanity,
Never occurring to you that he was lost in his own insanity?
Well he was so lost in it that there was only one way out,
He believed Hell is where the cowards go, he had no doubt,
I think he sees now he was mistaken and thankfully wrong,
Dry your eyes tonight and try your best to remain strong,
He cannot apologize to you and loved ones, not how he'd like,
Emptiness looms your first time without him next to you tonight,
Try your best to get some rest tonight an
ACCEPTANCEACCEPTANCEACCEPTANCE in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
When do we silence the bigots from the prejudice they preach?
When do we start allowing more of the intelligent minds to teach?
The time is now to do away with the single practice of tolerance,
Let opening the mind be joined by opening our hearts with acceptance,
Stop following the precedent set as the standard by those so crass,
And begin working as one showing some patience along with class,
Don't be so quick to judgment simply based on what it is our eyes see,
Rather let this world come to know a better you and a better me,
It's time now to step up and acknowledge those who take the dare,
For we all should take the time to let our neighbors know that we care,
Maybe you believe that there is no place to show kindness and a heart,
Although I respect your thoughts, I believe we can give more on our part,
Let's end the shameful act of segregating due to the pigment of skin,
Once we are beyond that point then we can see true beauty from within,
Some might say that segregation
MYSELF vs. MEMYSELF vs. MEMYSELF vs. ME in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Always a piece of me, you envied too much,
For you it was far from reach, you could not touch,
Maybe you'd look in the mirror to see you're wrong,
Maybe then you'd know they loved me all along.
Listen don't canonize yourself as if you're the one,
Expecting to be embraced like the prodigal son,
Always running away from the cold hard truth,
That's they way its been since our days of youth.
The truth is that only one of us is not the liar,
I have been the savior when times became dire,
I am the one this world trusts the most,
But I don't need words, only through actions do I boast.
You pompous fuck, it has got to be all about you,
Anything less than pleasing you, just will never do,
I would kill you, you arrogant bastard, if I could,
Someday I'll rid myself of you, as many others should.
With or without one or the other somebody is bound to lose,
So let's flip a coin, it seems the only logical choice to choose,
Heads I win, tails I win as well see, it's not a bad situa
DEFINITION OF A FRIENDDEFINITION OF A FRIENDDEFINITION OF A FRIEND in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Don't let the past ever steal your sleep,
I know there are certain secrets we all keep,
But those days are made for us to learn,
A truth far from fiction, you must discern,
Let go and you will see what's matter of fact,
Sometimes you'll slip, but I've got your back,
A beautiful soul, one thing time can't wash away,
You have no reason to fret, so seize the day,
I'll be whatever it is that you need me to be,
I hope my words instill your trust, safely in me,
Believe in me and I'll promise to believe in you,
For all things tempestuous we'll make it through,
Together, you and I will ride the turbulence out,
We are survivors of this life, leaving me no doubt,
That we can become even more telling as friends,
And we will stand for each other until eternity ends
NO NAME GIRLNO NAME GIRLNO NAME GIRL in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
She's the beautiful girl with no name,
Yet she lives in solitude and shame,
Burdened by desolation and sorrow,
Hardened by no cares for tomorrow,
Once she was a child spoiled rotten,
Now she's simply a woman forgotten,
Humble now in every possible way,
All because the world had to get its say,
And with all that, it left her far behind,
Remnants of an abandoned heart to find,
She can't bring herself to lofty dreams,
It's her against fears and worries it seems,
But these are merely my thoughts I know,
Wonders I have each day with her shy hello,
Today is different I'll try to get her to speak,
Yet days have passed, it's been over a week,
And I'm wondering why have I not seen her,
Rarely have I missed her, did something occur?
I guess she was enjoying a deserved vacation,
I missed her nonetheless for any occasion,
So I asked a colleague about no name girl,
Her reply, "Didn't you hear? She left this world."
My heart sunk, for she committed suicide,
I suppose from it all she cou
THE WISDOM OF LOVETHE WISDOM OF LOVETHE WISDOM OF LOVE in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
A wise man once asked me if I truly knew about love,
I said I thought so, but I was willing to learn more thereof,
He looked at me and said these words, "Love is redemption,
But truly unconditional love is without any exemption."
With those words he had me wanting to know more,
I had never looked at love as being redeeming before,
But it made perfect sense, because in it we find salvation,
Furthermore, love is limitless and free from segregation,
He spoke of a love that dares all of us in so many ways,
And how when we find our way run to it, no wasting days,
I found his words to be so profound, advice I cannot forget,
He taught me that telling someone "I love you" has no regret,
"They're three words often said too much when it doesn't exist,
Yet they are seldom spoke enough when the feeling insists."
He talked of how deep love can be, like the abyss of an ocean,
That made a resounding impact upon me to say such a notion,
I definitely let him know I would take his wis
paper cranes and picket fencesi am folding you one thousand paper cranes because it is all we have left.paper cranes and picket fences in Free Verse More Like This
legend says that if i fold one thousand paper cranes, i will get a wish. i could wish for a pair of iridescent wings or an ocean in a teacup or just to finally be happy again, but i don't want any of that--with every crane i fold i am imagining you. one crane for the circles under your eyes, one crane for your jutting ribs, one crane for every seizure.
i love you and you're dying and i will run out of paper trying to fold your broken pieces into birds.
you drew me a picture of us in the future.
our houses were next door to each other and a white picket fence separated our property and oh god, it made me curl into a ball and ache for hours. see, in a perfect world, the clouds would always be fluffy and our mailboxes would always be full of hand-drawn pictures and our smiles would be lopsided but permanent.
i hung it on my refrigerator as a reminder that there is still hope, but paper is so fragile and i am afra
borderline nostalgic.i used to stand in the middle of the railroad track on sundays, one foot on either side of the county border line, just so i could tell you that i was in two places at once.borderline nostalgic. in Free Verse More Like This
you would shake your head in that disapproving, familiar way, and tell me that no one could be in two places at once, and besides, standing on railroad tracks was illegal, and i had better watch it or else i was liable to get ticketed.
i informed you that wanting to live a little was not illegal.
the day you died i rode full speed down the nearby hill with my bare legs on the handlebars of my mother's bike, the sun shining full in my eyes. i swear to god my hands lifted off the handlebars and flew away, and to this day i still can't find them, but you, you know where they are.
i got a ticket for walking on those railroad tracks and two weeks ago i rode down that hill remembering you, and when i crashed at the bottom i thought i felt you hold my hand.
but no one can be in two places at once.
a poem for terrible people.i want to write a poem about primrosesa poem for terrible people. in Free Verse More Like This
and how i am not a terrible person.
i am disordered but not disorderly. i am broken up.
i think nice thoughts like "streetlight" and "linens,"
and is there an instruction guide on happiness?
i could write one for you.
step one, paint your eyes cobalt blue.
step two, hang fireworks from coat hangers.
step three, turn into a dandelion. blow away.
my heart tries to escape from my throat.
okay, i am guilty in ways that you cannot tell anyone,
ever, not even imaginary best friends.
or real ones.
freud says i am an iceberg, but i don't know
if he means i am full of repressed thought
or just a frigid bitch who will cut you open.
step four, there is no step four.
if i am an iceberg, i desperately need someone
to warm me in the palms of their hands.
no one ever will though, because i sink ships
and tear people apart.
once there was a girl who told people
that she was not terrible, but the primroses
in her garden would never bloom
as if th
being in love.it's like when you were five, when your pet rabbit diedbeing in love. in Free Verse More Like This
and you learned that nothing good lasts.
it's like the time you dropped him off at his house to watch tv
before you drove yourself to the emergency room, sobbing.
it's like the first time you saw your kindergarten teacher cry.
it's like ring around the rosie, a pocket full of posies, ashes. ashes.
it's like when he went too far, and he said, "is this okay?"
and you said, "no," but it didn't matter.
it's like when he said, "but i want you."
it's like the number seven, or rubies.
it's like when you almost drowned in the pool in north carolina
and when you looked up through the broken surface you thought
you saw god's face in the clouds.
it's like when he told you, "it's okay, it's going to be okay," and it wasn't.
it's like when you found out monsters weren't real
but every night you still woke up screaming.
the perfect strangershe misses colin the most at night, when, waking from nightmares, her hand reaches out into the darkness for someone who is no longer there.the perfect stranger in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
an unexpected message flares briefly on her screen, long enough for her heart to drop into her stomach in surpriseher ex-boyfriend's little sister's ex-boyfriend? sighing, she types a hello and strains her memory to recall what she knows of this boy from their one brief meeting. his name is aaron. tall. shaggy bed-head hair. sleepy hazel eyes. she lightly touches the keyboard, entertaining the notion that other people might feel as lonely at night as she does.
"tell me a secret," she types to him.
"why should I put my trust in you?" he asks, surprised.
"who better to trust than a stranger?"
so he does.
a five minute secret turns into an hour long story, then a night-long conversation.
the next morning, after telling this boy how colin broke her, she wakes to a message in her inbox:
The world is yours.
Boys are stupid.
telling a sad story backwards-17.telling a sad story backwards- in Short Stories More Like This
it smells like grief and sterilized metal.
i climb into andrews bed, though the nurses have strictly forbidden it. he closes his eyes and holds me tightly, because he says when he cant see me, it is easier to pretend i never happened to him.
he pushes the cart aggressively down the aisle, pretending to mow over old ladies doing their sunday shopping.
"stop," i say giggling, lobbing a can of ravioli at him.
for a moment i think he simply didn't see me throw the can; it glances off his chest and falls to the floor, exploding in a pattern of red arrows. i don't notice his eyes rolling back in his head or the graceful way his body collapses to the floor.
the only thing i notice is the distinct thudding sound as his head hits the metal shelf and the screaming that may or may not be mine.
later in the hospital he calls for me and says he wants to apologize for keeping secrets, and the doctors launch into a medical explanation of his cancer.
their eyes are sad.
12-21-12The Mayans said it first, but12-21-12 in Free Verse More Like This
tea leaves said it second, her palm
said it third, and the boy
down the road, the one with the blue,
blue eyes, said it fourth.
The world was going to end and she
could not be happier.
Her affairs were easy to arrange:
money sealed into envelopes,
the microwave unplugged, and one
last kiss for the blue-eyed boy.
She called her mother,
and her mother did not answer.
(But she did not expect her to.)
That evening she hid beneath
a blanket with her dog and told stories
about the good times and the bad times
(but mostly the bad times, and how
now there would never have to be
bad times ever again).
Then she went to bed, heart lighter
than light, winged with hope,
and woke up crying.
trilobite.look:trilobite. in Free Verse More Like This
don't ask me to prove to you that evolution is real,
because i lost the notebook with the proof written
out in pen. i could try to sum it up for you anyway,
about how i didn't used to love you and then one day
i did and how whales used to have legs.
also i was once a flower or a seven year old
and my hands didn't know how to hold yours
or how to draw sunsets and make sandcastles.
evolution was you one year ago saying i was perfect,
that i should never change myself for anyone.
now you say that you are trying to fix me,
which means that perfect things could always
be trying harder. and that's evolution.
i'm tired of my hair that keeps growing longer
and my veins that keep shifting beneath the surface
of my skin, writing love letters to you in cursive.
they say my writing never evolves,
so i write a poem for you about love
and learning to walk on two legs
and title it "trilobite."
they say with my heavy bones my body will never
get off the ground, but that doesn't mean
you can't make them love you.He is beautiful, new, unexplored. He has wanted to kiss her ever since they met one week ago and fell prey to helpless chemistry.you can't make them love you. in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Dont, she says, moving her hands in a subconscious yes pattern along his arm as he rubs his cheek against hers. You dont even know my favourite colour. The wind cuts through her thin jacket, and his chest is so warm.
Red, he guesses, improbably correct. His ears are cold.
And how many dogs do I have?
Two, he says, and she laughs wildly at his luck as he nuzzles her neck.
Im trying to save you, she tells him, pushing fruitlessly against his broad shoulders. So you dont wa
neverlandi'm giving myself ten minutes to grow up,neverland in Free Verse More Like This
and with every minute that passes i am remembering
balloons and party hats and streamers
and the second star to the right,
straight on 'til morning.
every year i write myself a poem for my birthday,
but this year i think i'll write a poem about
peter pan and he'll die in the end and everyone
will be sad. i'll be the saddest though,
because there comes a point in your life
when you realize that you're not peter pan,
or wendy, or even a lost boy.
(how sad, i think, to be lost but not a lost boy.
it doesn't matter though, because neverland isn't
real and now look, i'm another year older, and what
have i even done with my life?)
today i'm twenty-three and peter pan is dead.
my ten minutes have passed and i still haven't
grown up. people around me forget how to talk
to mermaids, and no one claps because no one
believes in fairies, or flying, or themselves.
today every birthday candle looks like a bone
and i still have so many wishes left to make.
Faded ink stainsA nearly snapped spine,Faded ink stains in Free Verse More Like This
And cracked yellow skin.
Faded ink stains,
From an old fountain pen.
Once loved, caressed, revered;
Now old, broken and forgotten.
No longer to appear before thousands.
No longer to paint images of fantasy.
Tattered old leather clothes.
Skin like withered autumn leaves.
So many faded ink stains,
From that old fountain pen.
An ancient book with ancient words.
The pages rustle in the wind,
And the ink fades in the rain,
But in memory lives on.
A dreamer's fascinationNormally my dreams are confusing, blurred, cryptic. This latest one bothered me slightly. It was so vivid, so clear (which is saying something since I have terrible eyesight). And it made me so happy. Two days later and I can still remember itA dreamer's fascination in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Im walking on a stone path, when I come to a small courtyard. The yard is full of wolves; thirty, my dreaming mind informs me. Theyre all lying down asleep, except for one; the big one obviously. He barks and snarls and wags his tail at me. Strangely my dream-self sees this as an invitation to join them, so I do. I lie down with the wolves and the dream changes.
Im standing in a huge stone field filled with people, thousands of people. But that isnt what bothers me; its the power that bothers me. Im so full of energy, not the normal kind of energy, mind you, but the abnormal kind you only read about in fantasy novels. And with this power comes a great need like a newborn vampire out for blood
Nothing but wordsEvery day I write for you,Nothing but words in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
A page of my heart.
And every day I tear it in two!
Because I have nothing but words,
To explain what I feel!
And no word could prove to you,
That what I feel is real.
My heart is overflowing,
With words I cannot say.
Because my love for you keeps growing!
Because I have nothing but words
To show you my heart!
But no word could do you justice,
No word could play that part.
To find the words I need,
Seems an impossible task.
But for you I must succeed!
Because I have nothing but words,
And they will have to do!
The words of my heart,
Can be the only words for you.
ChangeOn drifting cloudsChange in Free Verse More Like This
I see the winds of change
Under these grey skies
I hear rumours of peace
Just a faint light in the darkness
A new thread in the pattern
And the future changes.
On swirling seas
I see the tides of revolution
Under these storm clouds
I hear rumours of peace
Just a faint light in the darkness
A new star in the sky
And so the future changes
Shards of CrystalGlittering on the floorShards of Crystal in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
They sparkle in the light
Like shells upon the shore
The shards of crystal weep.
Once beautiful and whole
The shards fit together
Like a wondrous puzzle
Now broken, they cry
The shards of crystal weep
More precious than mere glass
Greater than the ocean deep
My pride and joy
And now I am weeping
For like the shards of crystal
I too am sleeping
Dead on the floor
But I do not glitter like them
I do not sparkle with red blood
Like a bright ruby gem
Because it is my blood
Now I will sleep
Among the broken beauty
Among the shards that weep
The shards of crystal.
Two simple wordsFrom deepest wells it can springTwo simple words in Free Verse More Like This
In dire need all have it
Blazing from the light within
Inspired by great deeds of friends
Placing walls safe and secure
From those of evil spawn
Strengthened by honesty
And weakened by falsehood
It never is the same
Though buried deep
All can seek it
Even without meaning to
Spoken nearly everyday
To those who value it most
Those two simple words
Trust me, I say
Well of all dreamsAt first glance it is so cheapWell of all dreams in Free Verse More Like This
A simple well for drinking
But stare into the waters deep
And be amazed at what you see.
This is no plain old well
This is where your greatest hopes
And innermost desires dwell
This is the well of all dreams
But do not stare into the water long
Look only once
Do not heed its siren song
Look only once
Men have drowned here
Seeking dreams in watery depths
But do not fear! Look only once
But do not come back again.
The Dark LordIn the Dark I have walkedThe Dark Lord in Free Verse More Like This
And with mighty demons talked
I was feared throughout the land
And thousands died by my command.
All trembled at my very name
For me the Darkest creatures came
I swept aside the fools of Light
And ushered in my endless Night.
Often did the heroes appear
And raise an army of sword and spear
I broke them all and reigned supreme
I laughed at every cry and scream.
Yet one day my power broke
And my empire went up in smoke
By a childs hand I was undone!
My Night was shattered by the sun!
In the Dark I stormed in rage
Desperate to escape my cage
My cunning mind formed my plan
And so my revenge began.
Peoples minds I visited in sleep
And left my darkness there to creep
That is where Ive left my mark
I cannot be defeated: I live in every human heart.
A Writer's MindOh, our heads are full of many things,A Writer's Mind in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Like Elves and folk with magic rings.
Or pirates and forsaken men,
And those who walk into dragon's den.
We dream of far off forgotten lands,
Of their streams, plains and burning sands,
Their walled cities, high and cold,
And all their people, young and old.
We listen to the lost prophecies,
Seeking out all life's mysteries.
Hunting for the Chosen One,
To ensure their task gets done.
So, enter in if you dare,
But if you do, you must beware!
Happy tales you'll not find here.
Be prepared to face all you fear.
Five years1st YearFive years in Biography & Memoir More Like This
They saw me. They dont accept me. A geek. A freak. Loser.
Because Im smart, not pretty. Because Im shy not outgoing. Because I dont understand what you mean.
They said it should have stopped by now. That the other kids would move on when they realised that I wasnt going to break. I havent cried, I havent snapped.
Because Im smart enough to keep my mouth shut. Because I dont have the confidence to speak up. Because I dont understand what you mean.
Oh my god. I snapped. I hit him. I didnt want to hit him, it just became too much. The adults say it can only get better now, that Ill have earned their respect. But I know it can only get worse.
Because I broke my own rules. Because I let my temper do the talking. Because I was stupid enough to let them get to me. Because I dont understand what you mean.
They were wrong. And they w
Dear cutterDear cutter in Free Verse More Like This
How do you see your flesh?
Do you watch the pulsing of your veins?
Did the voices scream in your ear?
Whispering for you to grab the knife,
To slice through your wrist?
Ever felt the desire to watch the blood flow?
Did you forget the heartache?
For that momentary pain along your arm?
And do you feel like these scars are your identity?
That without them, without their reminder, you wouldn't be you?
My dear, they are nothing, but you, you are worth so much more,
Stop the knife, push back its blade, to see the truth.
That you are stronger than any kind of pain.
FearFear, It eats usFear in Free Verse More Like This
Tears us, burns us, pushes us
Consumes our very soul.
Only if we feed it do we empower it
Secrets upon our being
Stepped to overrule the master
To face the fear, but not to be afraid.
Heart poundingFor everytime I crossed that hole,Heart pounding in Free Verse More Like This
The one I could barely resist to go in,
The way I'd smirk and stomp my foot like a horse,
For the temptation that flared in my belly,
Of how I'd have to turn away,
With a heart pounding excitement.
For everytime he crossed my path,
The one I could barely resist to smile at,
Of teasing gestures and smirks about,
The way he seemed so perfectly sane,
For the temptation that flared in my belly,
Of how I'd have to turn away,
With this heart pounding excitement.
For everytime anger crossed my path,
The one I could barely resist inside,
Of the rage and un-control it brought,
The way it it burned like an inferno,
For the temptation that flared in my belly,
Of how I'd have to turn away,
With this heart pounding confusion.
Was it I?His heart was cold -filled with such hate.Was it I? in Free Verse More Like This
No matter how much I tried to love him,
He grew more dark with each passing day.
Was it I that's the reason why?
TonightWalking with his head down- gaze fixed on the ground.Tonight in Free Verse More Like This
Another day to survive- on the streets he calls his home.
He fights for his spot- in a dark alley at night.
Where he covers himself with a cardboard box- and begs the rain to stop.
People pass him by- with upturned noses and scornful glances.
They don't understand- the story that led him to this place.
He took my hand.He took my hand. in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
I drive myself in circles,
Pounding my head against this same 'ld wall,
Learning the same 'ld lesson time and again,
I fall to my knees and beg for relief,
From this rocky path.
He takes my hand and holds it tight,
His all consuming faithfulness floods over me,
He whispers His sweet love into my ear,
His arms are anchors of strength,
That He's promised to always protect me with,
So with the brush of His hand, He wipes away the doubt.
And fills me with His love.
At the edge I stand,
Trembling, I glance over the ledge and stare down,
Not heeding the warnings I'd been told,
' Never look back, always look ahead.'
Pride purged me to rebellion,
I had to look back,
Which allowed fear to take over,
I fell to my knees and clung to the rocks,
' I can't go farther.'
So I thought,
He took my hand and held it tight,
His all consuming faithfulness flooded over me,
He whispered His sweet love into my ear,
His arms were anchors of strength,
He promised to always protect me with them,
Stay with meStay with me -until the night ends.Stay with me in Free Verse More Like This
Stay with me -until I fall asleep tonight.
Stay with me -until all my fears fade away.
Stay with me -until I can believe again.
Stay with me -until every pain is gone.
Stay with me -until the past is forgotten.
Stay with me -until the light begins to shine.
Stay with me -until I can love you again.
His scarHis battle scars always scared them away,His scar in Free Verse More Like This
The wounds which reflected his past and pains.
They'd flock away without any shame,
Not asking questions, to learn any of the truths.
Claimed as a broken and scarred man,
Unworthy of their time.
They never saw the little actions you performed,
The way you would bend down and pick up a toy,
And hand it over to that crying little girl.
The way your smile lit up and brought her joy,
They didn't care that you'd always make her day.
I loved you and the story your scar proclaimed,
Of how the marking on your cheek made you a perfect man.
Selfless and strong, someone without regret or shame.
Every time I saw it I kissed it softly,
As I whispered of my love for you.
Of how you were my hero,
Fighting in battles not your own,
To protect us from any harm.
I don'tI don't always have to know,I don't in Free Verse More Like This
All the answers to every question.
When silence is better than any words,
To see in the eyes, to learn their mysteries.
I don't understand everything about myself,
Or the situations all of us go through.
But I try to see the positive in it all,
For both you and I.
I don't always have the strength,
To stand in all these storms.
When pride reaches down and squeezes tight,
Even when I cry in the dead of night.
I don't understand how I can feel,
So weak at times, yet so strong and brave.
But I hold on tight believing in His truths,
To get me through.
I don't always have to know why You do the things You do,
To explain in depth the reasons for Your wondrous signs.
I just trust and believe in You,
Because You are the faithful One.
PL: ForeverHis arm was always a shield around me,PL: Forever in Free Verse More Like This
Protecting me from each fall I'd take.
Holding me, loving me with no end,
I was comfortable whenever I was with Him.
The way He spoke to me was a sensation,
His gentle touch to my cheek lit me up inside.
And even when I tried I couldn't help but blush,
His charm was ever so sincere.
He taught me things no one could explain.
Had I not endured each moment with Him,
He'd be nothing but a memory, gone like a ghost.
But like a ghost he appeared to me,
In the late of night when no one would know.
When I felt helpless and alone,
He'd be there in a blink.
To hold me up no matter what,
To love me forever more.
SerpentI run low to the ground and humble,Serpent in Free Verse More Like This
caught parallel and thin
without legs or feet -
just a bare belly
to bow and scrape to no one.
I was a siren,
out of place and uncomfortable,
tucked behind the wild weeds
and the smell of fruit
making the tree boughs lazy.
But a green flash
took her breath away
and she thought me
MilkwoodI've got that old 2 am feelingMilkwood in Free Verse More Like This
eloquence drowned in brandy wine
spirits my veins,
makes my words go boisterous
my poetry sounds brilliant
thundered back to me
from the bricks
spinning under my head.
I am at war with the worlds
sliding down my walls
and stars from the gutter
battering the sky
with the unpinned glory of gods
and my random lunacy
ricocheting and left dancing
through the trees' black lace
like the brash kiss of armageddon....
ThiefThe man with the umbrella smileThief in Free Verse More Like This
and bright crooked eyes
strips down the daylight
like a hunter skinning first kill
He lurches under a darkling moon
tucking kite string under his coat
where the wind gathers tears and leaves
and scatters you in bits and pieces.
He has cold hands without gloves
and loves to touch you secretly
when he thinks the moon is not watching
and your lips are stitched shut
by a mother's weary hands.
His sighs are solitary shades
growing in a damp knot
under the stretch of your dress
where he baits your breath
and forces you to hold it
until you turn blue.
He offers you pieces of stars
and pretty things to wear
places promises on your tongue
that hang like cloaks in dark closets
and presses you to keep secrets
arched between your thighs
tucked up inside your belly.
He unpins night from the sky
and rolls it up under your bed
tucking it in safe and secure
in the corners he hides from your family
disguising the abomination
that calls itself sanctuary.
DriftwoodDriftwood in Free Verse More Like This
around the dawn
as if begging
for a favor,
so smooth and sharp
worn bare by August -
a mermaid's rib
rubs salt from sand,
the battering lilt of seagulls
against the summer sun.
PlaygroundPlayground in Free Verse More Like This
All that autumn her ghost haunted the playground;
no wisping phantom, but strident bits and pieces
clamoring for attention - a pair of black patent
leather shoes waiting expectantly by the teeter-totter.
And Sister Teresa had to pry red woolen mittens
off the jungle gym every morning.
Jimmy Boyle kept seeing her sweater at the swings,
its green wooly arms daring him to go higher
and trying to tag him "it".
And her best friend, Jenny Black
could see the flash of her pigtails
throwing copper across the kickball field
where recess waited to swallow them.
The toys vanished from the sandbox every evening
leaving nothing but a soft trail of disappointment
in their wake -
their accusations of neglect
and longing crouched under the
maple trees, swarming with the bees.
But winter proved a discordant grave -
the protest of frozen ground
an errant melody in the schoolyard
and her shoes kept shrinking
and stumbled down the slide,
leaving a thick crust of frost
like somber tracks that said good-bye
TreesTrees in Free Verse More Like This
The secret life
of elm and oak
and thin white poplars -
on a winter night,
grazing the moon
like tapers in December.
I smell earth -
peat and cedar
and the indulgent bulge
crafting the air
like a smith
lost in his work.
Chestnuts bear an offering
and the yearning pall
of pine scents the sky
till it's thick with resin.
And they gather
with boughs and limbs
bent like priests at play,
roots tight as ancient drums
to ruminate on stories,
sinewed in fragrant bark
making merry where
the green bends back
EndingsI know the time is comingEndings in Free Verse More Like This
when you will no longer
leave fingerprints on my door,
and we will not argue
at Christmas dinner
about the face of God.
Your chair will be cold,
your plate empty,
and I will watch your shadow
shrink on the sofa
and your voice
grow reed thin
and your footprints on the carpet
too light to stick.
Your coat will grow
too large in the closet
and the world will never
fill your shoes,
so I will shake the dust
off your best suit
and find the pictures I took of you
when you were laughing
and the bible
you kept by your bed
that I could not believe in
and I will tuck you in
for that long goodnight
that breaks the sky
and slip my small fingers
into your big hand
one last time,
and wait for the story
as big as my whole world
setting in your eyes.
SoundSound in Free Verse More Like This
Something against the sky -
a kestrel wing
drifting godward -
the circle of sound
dents the morning
and turns my ears
second guessing the weight of
and how your breath
measures the morning light.
Season of the WitchSomething slow and arcaneSeason of the Witch in Free Verse More Like This
culls this fire
and flares like ghosts.
It stirs your soul,
splits the iris of your eye,
a spectrum to haunt October -
ruddy gold and rust,
followed by a dark so smooth,
it smothers embers
and roosts upon the river,
too deep to drown you.
And in the depths -
muddles silt and pine,
witches' brew of
tar voiced stones
and hold you down