a letter for the lonelywhy am i writing you words with no meaning,a letter for the lonely in Scraps More Like This
knotted up in a pretty little bag with no meaning,
tied with a bow with no meaning,
sealed with a kiss with no meaning,
why do you have no meaning?
i don't know,
i don't know.
the trees have pulses, it's why
their leaves have veins-
i may have gotten a d in natural science,
but i got a b-plus in biology
and i'm not stupid enough
to think that a being with veins doesn't have a heartbeat.
trees have just so many arms outstretched
and nobody ever
hugs the elm tree with
a thousand arms and i give it,
the dying one on the corner of my street,
a hug though i hate hugs
and i only let go
when i feel its heart
the medulla oblongata
regulates the heartbeat,
isn't that funny? i think it's funny that
the brain talks to
the heart at all- i feel love,
and you feel nothing,
you use your nerves and fucking frontal cortex
to use logic and
i meant to tell youplease (tell me another story, tell me every dream you've ever had so that in case you) forget (i could remember it for you. i'm stumbling over my words again, asking, do you love) me, (do you dream of me? i love and dream of you every night, i am a mess of limbs and i remember to lie to you and tell you that i) do not (remember my subconscience's wishes on stars that do not exist, i will not tell you that i dreamt that we could) talk (underwater, and you would never come) to me (again because you would not leave me, n)ever again.i meant to tell you in Scraps More Like This
never met a letterhello,never met a letter in Free Verse More Like This
i am growing my hair out
for you. soon the birds
will entangle themselves in it
and twist nests, nettled
with twigs, into miniature
huddles. they will squirm,
robin's eggs mirroring the
waning tides, and swallow the
you make me feel like i am
supposed to be the sun
instead of a stupid girl
with her flat hat and cat eyes.
i swath myself in
manufactured clouds, drawing
a long white face still
heavy enough to
drown a soul.
i am the ugliest clam in
printed with the illusion that
inside my mundane shell,
i hold a shellacked pearl on
my tongue. you will pry
me open at the hinges, rusted
copper breaking into shrapnel,
and see that i am
lucifer's on speed diali told the devillucifer's on speed dial in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
that hell wasn't big enough
for the both of you
trust meunder these sheets wetrust me in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
create galaxies, be my
tour guide forever
next timeyou told me you were doing me a favor,next time in Free Verse More Like This
you never told me you were stripping me
of my emotional rights, butchering the word
love between my two front teeth, and can you
please remember for at least five seconds
that i am just some silly boy stuck in his
own world, far, far from reality. and as
delusional as it may sound, fucking with his mind
isn't an art, and we may be art kids but
i know where to draw the line between
pure art, and simply dying.
if it isn't how i imagined it,
then what control do i have anymore?
i want to be able to rip the seams of my
own shirt, wash my hands a hundred times
over if need be, now can you please stop
being my mother, start being my friend,
and cease being my lover.
if adam and eve can fuck over the human race
and have a book written about them, then
why the hell can i not fuck you over,
tell you to leave, kick you out the back door,
i know i am harsh, but i am too scared
not to be.
so next time, allow me to
strip away my own skin,
singe off my own ment
can i stop answering questionswhen i am having anxiety attacks at three am, i enjoy the ghosts floating under my skin, giving me that quick rush of cold air needed to slow down my heart and speed up my mind. i'm teaching them to twist their transparent limbs between the two sides of my brain, maybe if i cut off their communication i can stop running my life in circles and my emotions can stop doing back flips off my aorta and landing mid center between two lungs not quite ready to handle a boy not quite ready to handle himself.can i stop answering questions in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
so you enjoy quizzing me about my own body. how many ribs line my left side, have i recently counted the veins spread eagle across my forearms, but what if i were to tell you i found a hobby, and that hobby found a hobby, and i am sure many more hobbies after that. what if my hobby was counting how many ways my body can slowly die, and its hobby was practicing this art at least three times a day and what if that hobby had so many more hobbies that were divulged so deep within my skin that i
confessionmy writing is justconfession in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
the questions that i never
wanted to answer
get higher.our song came on today. you know,get higher. in Free Verse More Like This
the one that i showed you right before you kissed me
for the first time. but you probably
don't remember. and that's okay,
because i'm going to smile at our good times
and everytime you whispered something in my ear and asked me
what i was thinking about. we were a hidden object,
a lost puzzle piece
and it was amazing, and i don't think
it could have gone any better while it lasted.
i won't be crying any more tears because it just doesn't
seem to matter anymore.
i hate the things you did to me. well, no, that's a lie.
i loved the things you did to me. you held me and you
called me yours, and you kissed me with lips that
i never thought could exist. you were my shade from the sun
and my smile in the morning.
i ache to remember, i long to
forget, i live to love once more. i'll watch you
take another drag of the joint that we call
life, and the clouds of smoke will erase your
you created a suicidei introduced myself to disappointment again tonight. accompanied by an old friend, sadness. we loomed under my waterfall of tears, letting them drip down the lips of leaves from my mind's trees. they tasted like salt and rust and the scent still clogs my nose, making it difficult to breathe.you created a suicide in Free Verse More Like This
for a while you had loved me for me, and i you. looking into your old eyes now i see that i could have stopped it. stopped myself from falling in love with you and the sunshine that is your soul. i could have stopped everything in it's tracks and made a choice to never let myself get hurt.
i'm in so much pain, tonight.
disappointment has drowned me in my own tears, a subconcious suicide. i can't find any air pockets and i'm stuck underneath this title wave of a feeling i know i'll never be able to shake. not for a long time. i'm falling apart at the edges, all the while waiting for you to come back, sew me together and kiss me with seam ripper lips and a missing piece in your heart.
i have that man
for once in my life, i know.i know what its like to need someone. to have them say goodbye and let go of your hand, and feel like the world has stopped, and in order to keep it turning, to make sure the sun sets and the rain falls from the sky and to keep your feet moving one step forward, two steps back,for once in my life, i know. in Free Verse More Like This
you need them there, holding you, loving you, and needing you, too.
i know what its like to want someone. to have that irresistable urge to kiss them, or sit there and just stare into their eyes and think "this is real beauty." to want their hand on your hip and when they kiss you to run their fingers through your hair. i know that lust. i crave for it.
i know what its like to miss someone. to feel lost, empty, incomplete. [there are way too many words to describe that feeling.] but not just miss a lover - no no no - it hurts no matter who you miss. that pain stabs at you like a thousand and one knives and it kills and it strives and it just wants to be whole,
even if it cannot be.
i know what its like to love s
kiss and run.my bare feet pound against the ground. like thunder, it seems. the grass fits between my toes like missing puzzle pieces.kiss and run. in Free Verse More Like This
its an epic, hollow sound.
and it makes me think of your heartbeat. it's galaxies away, but yet so close.
it's beautiful and it's serene and it makes me think of the way you looked at me that day.
friday night. your sea green eyes wide with interest and laughter. i have never seen you so alive, so happy to be doing absoulutely nothing.
you are not here. but where ever you are has no idea how lucky it is.
i'm running. i'm running against the wind, the sun burning my retinas, making me feel dead. yet alive.
this pounding sound in my ears brings me to think of you. the way you gently kiss the nape of my neck
the sky is so blue today.
i wonder if i'll see your eyes in it tomorrow.
dear dreams.hello broadway, you are looking fabulous today.dear dreams. in Letters More Like This
in your shiney new york city lights, and your glamorous dresses and high heeled shoes. i wish i could walk in them.
hello juno awards, why aren't you lovely!
in your beautiful canadian atmosphere and your wonderful way of letting me know i have succeeded.
and hello to you, too, best sellers list! i never thought i would see you here.
on the cover of my book. that i wrote. by myself.
all by myself.
i have missed you.
a shooting star.
everything's fine.i'm fine with you.everything's fine. in Free Verse More Like This
i'm fine with the way you can make my capillaries collapse and my vertibraes sting like a summertime bee. i'm completely fine with not knowing where we seem to be standing, with having this impulse to run the blade of my fingertip across your jaw line, to match the blue of your eyes with the colour the ocean seems to turn at half past midnight. that murky grey i have grown so fond of.
i'm so serene, with the way you hold me. that ability to make me feel safer than i do in my own home. your arms around me seem to make my day so much better and i don't know why. i don't understand what this rebound of a feeling is but i do love it so. oh, very much, dear. yes, yes.
i'm so generous, with my heart. i would give it to you willingly if you let me. place it in your hands and give you no place to set it down but beside your own. but you need to let go of your silly games and misunderstandings and realize what you really want. [i'm hoping it will be me.]
i'm fine with you. yo
mornings on suburban trainsdearest, you have thunder in your eyesmornings on suburban trains in Teen More Like This
and lacing your fingertips
the mornings that you sit across from me on suburban trains; they are the brightest mornings of all. i could spend the whole trip admiring each curl in your hair and the shape of each fingernail if only i had the time. sometimes our legs brush when we sit across from each other, and my heart skips, but i don't think you even notice. your gaze lingers on the scenery outside the window; as if you wished you were outside too. as if the train was a cage.
if only you would let me, i could brighten your mornings too.
the afternoons that we exit the train at the same stop, they are the warmest afternoons of all. we split ways at the end of the station; i go left and you go right, but listening to your heels tap against the concrete even for thirty seconds makes me want to hold you in my arms and never, ever let you go.
the morning you smiled at me, i think my heart stopped momentarily. you had off-white teeth and dimples
he taught her -happiness does not consist in getting something -he taught her - in Free Verse More Like This
it consists in becoming something.
goodnight, baby boy`goodnight, baby boy in Short Stories More Like This
when you lay in bed tonight and decide, with tears in your eyes that you're better off without me, just know that i was laying, trying to remember that breathing does help the numb ache that keeps me awake through the night.
just know that i feel hollow and sick without knowing i can run to you.
and when i close my eyes, all i will be able to see is you. and when you curl into a ball and hug your knees, to try and make yourself feel safe, just know that i was alone, trying to steady my breathing, longing to be able to lay beside you.
and it'll all be okay, in the end;
that's what i used to tell myself.
it will all be okay
in the end.
prometheus - collab.this isn't the beginning of a new end or the fall of an old empire, but something entirely different. it's something a little like the quiet after a fight or the silence as a hundred people walk past you in a [lonely] crowded city. this is something like that.prometheus - collab. in Short Stories More Like This
this is what it might feel like to become everything around you, to forget you exist. this is like realizing that it'll come back to haunt you, this is remembering you're not immortal. this is the few coldest days of winter and the hottest days of summer, and this is like the first time you tried a little, and you still fell. this is something like that.
but this is also like reaching the bottom of that ice-cream cone and being the first to get to the top of the jungle gym [but only to realize you can't get back down]. this is something like finding that even though you finished last, condolences are paid handsomely [by bright green eyes and a comforting hug]. this is something like that.
but sometimes, this isn't like any of tho
learning how to lose.last winter i fell in love.learning how to lose. in Short Stories More Like This
i fell in love with a boy who had jutting collar bones and skinny legs, and whose mousy brown hair curled in all the wrong places, who had perfectly thin lips.
he kissed me for the first time in the middle of the night, and we sat on an old brown couch, under two blankets shivering in the cold watching the stars and waiting for the sunrise.
last spring i was his world.
he was everything i'd ever needed, everything i'd ever imagined. he told me he'd love me forever and ever, and that i was more important than anything in the world. one night, he spent hours on end reading me fairy tales from all over the world, until i fell asleep curled up against his chest. he'd walk me home, and i'd tell him of my father, and he'd tell me of his mother. some times i felt like i could just watch him forever. brush my fingers through his hair until the end of time.
last summer i lost my mind.
i never slept. i never ate. and he was always there. he'd hold me through the night
she was once a girl,-she was once a girl, in Free Verse More Like This
it's the silence at the very bottom of the night, and the way i passed out smiling, knowing that you were coming soon. it's the way i woke up in hospital with your hands on my arms, and your eyes more bloodshot than mine. it's the pain i saw in you, and the way my whole world ended in that moment.
this world is everything but beautiful. beauty is in the ability to smile when you know crying would be easiest, and holding others hearts closer than your own. it's doing the best by everyone else, even if it means doing the worst by yourself.
you're the only beautiful person i've ever met.
you were my first love, and darling, you'll be the last.
hazethe night is dark, but the cold feels light on your skin, like a sheet of ice against your almost numb forearms and legs. the air you breathe is garnished by the drunken laughter of eleven teenagers as they sip wine straight from the bottle and reminisce - letting their vivid, drunken imaginations run wild. you sit and watch them - thirty years their elder, and your lethargic mind feels time roll by as you pondered the places you've gone - the things you've seen.haze in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
as your mind gives way to the night, you think about how time has become your enemy and there is a heavy, regretful feeling that spreads through your body. you're not who you said you would be, and you haven't seen the things you wanted to. your golden age is over, and you're left dissatisfied; empty.
you've spent too long watching the world, and now your face has been marred by time. you've never been kissed in the rain, and you've never spent nights watching movies, making love on the sofa. you've got nothing to r
sinkingthere aren't words anymore.sinking in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
only unspeakable pain, only desperation and the uncontrollable need.
these walls are like a prison in which time moves slowly, this mattress a throne to an empire that's falling, crumbling before my eyes.
these words are echoes of an ache that poisons this air, a poison that suffocates me while i sleep. these tears, they're just the salty remains of the ocean of love that is lost every night i spend alone, and this music, just a dirty noise to wash over me - to lull me into believing that i'll be okay one day.
the smell of our sleeplessness-the smell of our sleeplessness in Short Stories More Like This
'You've never really felt pain, until you've lost everything' he murmured, his eyes fixed on the dirt between our feet. 'You've never really had your heart broken if you can put the pieces back together.' He paused, taking a small sip from an almost empty wine glass and continued with his drunken monologue.
'You've never really learnt to appreciate their hands if the hands of another don't make you sick to your stomach, and you never understood the way they smelt unless you can smell it on your pillows'
He looked up at me, his face wistful and his grey eyes reflecting the cigarette he held in his hand and stared right though me as he muttered.
'And you know what, you've never really been in love if you can learn to love another'
He doesn't like the way he looks anymore. His once smooth skin is now a victim to his grief, to gravity and to his old age. His hair, growing more and more grey with each day that passes had once been dense and thick, dark brown - framing his luri
forgetting how to feel.there's something in the way your lip moves when you're about to cry that makes my heart ache.forgetting how to feel. in Other More Like This
you're leaning back against the train wall; your eyes red under the bright white light as i try not to look. but i know you're watching me, and i know you're hurting more than i can imagine.
and i want to understand, but i don't, and i never will.
they tell me not to do anything stupid, and i almost laugh.
funny, how after this many years i don't need to kill myself.
i guess its painfully scary though, to know that
i am already insane.
there is no pain anymore;
just the emptiness.
but in the end it will be okay, because we're falling together;
you're dragging me down by arms and i'm not fighting back.
and i think we both understand that there's going to be nobody to catch us when we hit the bottom.
but in the end it will be okay.
it's like forgetting how to feel.
and not even caring.