That Time again...Its one of those times again...everything takes effort. Sleep is restless. Food tastes bad. Life seems pointless and I can't look anyone in the eye. Too afraid they'll see me for the monster I am right now. I'm isolating, avoiding, obsessing...again. With no hope of rescue. Anxiety drives me...leading me to a dark place I've been before. But this time feels different, like either I live or I die. All or nothing. How much of the outcome is my choice? How much is out of my control?That Time again... in Emotional More Like This
I've never been this repulsed by myself...with no one to reassure me of my true self I really am hopeless.
It takes more courage then I posses to do what I need to do.
Can I possibly find the strength to forgive myself?
relics of the pastyou save the ticket stubs from movies,relics of the past in Free Verse More Like This
the coins that you've found
face up on the ground.
'it's good luck,'
you hold onto dreams from long ago,
written on faded pages
scattered across the floor.
your room is cluttered with all manner of
keepsake and souvenir;
tokens and mementos
adorn your walls.
the residue of what's come and gone.
your call log is full,
your inbox overflows.
bottle caps are piled up in jars
all along your living room.
there's a bit of sandwich in your fridge
from a good three weeks ago,
a bag of receipts
from 10 years back
sits by your bed,
christmas and birthday cards from elementary school
fill a whole drawer of your bureau,
names long forgotten,
never to be put to the faces
of your past.
You who saves it all,
But cannot save yourself.
I extend my hand in your direction,
But you cannot take it.
Your arms are filled to breaking with the relics of the past.
OCDOne, two, three, fourOCD in Free Verse More Like This
It's finally opened now shut the door
Five, six, seven, eight
You did it wrong, won't this be great?
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve
Do it again with the doorknob you held
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen
Put your hands on it so it's in between
Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, Haha
Turn your hands so you touch it right,
Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, Hahaha!
It annoys you so, you try to keep the thoughts out of sight
Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, Ahahahaha!
You shut the door, and walk to your bed
Even if it's only in your head
Now you won't get sick
The fear is gone
Spit on the ground
And try to sleep 'til dawn
You finally got it right
But you do it all again
Just to turn out the light
Even though it's all in your head
You feel crazy and out of your mind
Like the psycho killer watches you from behind
And even though it's all in your head
You just still wish you were dead