FicklenessPush her away, push her awayFickleness in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Keep her at arms length
Then just as suddenly pull her back
If only for the day
Eyes that once shined with love
Slowly shadowed with defeat
Watch; its all that I may do
My heart, howling in pain.
The Memory of TreesI am seven, running among the treesThe Memory of Trees in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Searching for a friend
I am ten, running from the trees
Trying to escape my shame
I am thirteen, running to the trees
Hoping to hide from the law
I am sixteen, running around the trees
Relishing the hedonistic joy of it
I am nineteen, running among the trees
Loneliness dogging my heels
I am twenty-two, running into the trees
Questioning my every decision
I am twenty-five, twenty-eight, thirty-one
Looking out the windows of what became my prison
Watching the trees stand sentinel
Keeping all of my secrets
I am thirty-four, running to the trees
Hoping to beg their forgiveness
Wanting to share my new hopes
Surrender to our desiresI woke up thinking of youSurrender to our desires in Free Verse More Like This
It happens more and more
You cross my mind throughout the day
Filling me with a longing
For something I know will screw me up
Still deciding if I should act on it
The desire that just seems to build
Craving what you can give me
When it's all done, I'll be renewed
Maybe I should...
Just succumb to this need
For a nap.
Cu FaoilAwaken the sense of mystery, possibility, and compassionCu Faoil in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Long hidden behind a shield of cold and indifference
Marching to face this brave new world
With weapons of hope and love
Looking deep for the courage to fight a new fight
My soul releases its battle cry
As I charge towards the treasures of my heart.
Only the MoonOnly the MoonOnly the Moon in Biography & Memoir More Like This
I want, I wish, I wait for something to happen to me.
Time moves slowly, at others I blink and wonder where it went.
Did I miss it?
Am I waiting for something to come that already has?
Was it someone?
People pass in and out of my life.
Some more quietly than others.
A few even left their mark.
Is that it?
What am I waiting for?
I am distant from those closest to me.
Am I protecting them?
Only at night do I feel a sense of peace.
Or something close to it.
A sense of being watched settles on me
Along with a slight dizziness.
There she is.
The one who has never let me down.
Nor I her.
At times she has even made me feel strong.
What _am_ I waiting for?
Maybe to find another soul I recognize.
One who understands how this all feels,
To be alone in a crowded room
To hurt and not always know why
To see problems as puzzles and feel a
Need to solve them or help
Even though it may be rejected.
One who can see and feel the music in even
The most mund
SomedaySomedaySomeday in General Non-Fiction More Like This
My opinions will matter
Rather than always being thrown out like weapons
I will be truly beautiful
Not critiqued or silently compared to others
The glib words of others wont hurt
I will no longer hide behind a tight smile or sarcasm
I will write something worth reading
Not just skimmed then forgotten
What I have to say will be listened to
Not met with derision, a laugh or a pat on the head
I will be more than just a body to fuck
I will matter
I will let out all my tears
Will be there to help wipe them away
I will awake in the strong, capable arms
That can bear the weight of both my heart and soul; in addition to their own
shampooHot water tingles asshampoo in Short Stories More Like This
hotter eyes follow
the frothy cascade
toward the apex
that you so
Killing FrostLifetimes of hurtKilling Frost in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Shame and fear
Have left a heavy layer
Of killing frost
Upon my heart
I am now fearful
Of the thaw
And the pain
That I know will
Come with it.
So very easily
Yet the frozen
And the soft
Will in time
ScarredWith a shyness and sorrow I know not how to shake,Scarred in General Non-Fiction More Like This
I stand before you
Hoping or praying
To see the light of acceptance,
Even longing in your eyes.
That would tell me
In something stronger than mere words,
That to you,
Even if for just this moment,
I am beautiful
Wrapped as I am,
In this shell of faded youth,
Scars both inside and out.
I wish to be perfect,
And mourn that I am not.
somewherewe like to say that we knowsomewhere in Free Verse More Like This
forgetting about what we don't
and the mysteries of life as a whole
not knowing how many doors we may have closed
there are worlds out there
inviting us to explore
in order to arrive
we must come to know
that such worlds are inside
not confined by dimensions
rather they simply invite
ask us to believe
in something more than our own creations
something more than our own pride
allowing us to go beyond our dreams
I want to remember
how to find that peace
presidents vs prophetsI feel that touch of darknesspresidents vs prophets in Free Verse More Like This
that desire to scream
to tear things apart
I'm tired of the liars
presidents and critics alike
I'm tired of the revolutions
industrial, technological and otherwise
that that they have or will improve our lives
that they have our best interests in mind
and I'm tired of the mindless droves that inevitably follow
all this fucking money and the power over life
that they exert with the choices they make
which for the power hungry, which they all are
more food and cars and buildings
won't save lives
the revolutions that matter begin inside
destroy the politicians
fuck their profits and systems
follow the prophets
follow the prophetess
emulate their lives
...somewhere between the dark of early morning and the sunrise... in Free Verse More Like This
somewhere between sunlight and night skies
as if two minds, each in a separate place
coexisting, wanting the dark, needing the light
wanting to write and lay between soft sheets
wrapped in thoughts and curled up safe
letting it all out and never having to wake
drawing my finger lightly across my face
as the thought forms, eyes stare out the window
then it drops from place
scattering across the table
fragmented, each piece a part of something larger
I long for the quiet and solitude of loneliness
the only shell on the beach
and to be a part of something
in which I believe
contemplating youthe meditation of your soulcontemplating you in Free Verse More Like This
is more than a balance
between both sides
because it calls and evokes
the existence of who you are
and the place in the universe you reside
where you occupy
isn't just where you live
but the time you spend
and things you do
the thoughts and desires
that pass through you
these too are important
more so than
you might realize
and those things are what lead to
contradictionsthe many sidescontradictions in Free Verse More Like This
of the experiences
that shape our lives
remorse and regret
with compassion and love
thown into the mix
that one element
that product of love
something I remeber, part 2Lying there again the next day, waiting for that moment to come when I could get up and start pulling it together enough to make it through the day. I always did but I wanted to know how not too because it was starting to hurt too much to keep it all together. But at the same time I couldnt let it fall apart even though I so desperately wanted my life to all fall apart. I thought of the room again, the door, of closing it behind me and wondering how long I could stay lost in there and what it would be like when I found myself on the other side of the door again. Would it all fall apart then? I figured it would probably be a slower process then I wanted since despite everything I would try to continue living. Still, I knew that every time I entered the room I would temporarily disappear and feel safe. Upon finding myself returned to the other side, the world and myself would be slightly more altered untilsomething I remeber, part 2 in General Non-Fiction More Like This
empty isn't so emptysometimesempty isn't so empty in Free Verse More Like This
I catch a glimpse
of what we are
so close together on this planet
and also so far apart
trying so desperately
to fill in the empty spaces inbetween
with buildings and things
not realizing that in the empty
we have space to find meaning
haiku 17averted eyes, hinthaiku 17 in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
at the universe inside
so distant from mine
personal revelationher exhalepersonal revelation in Free Verse More Like This
her inhale reveals
purest sense of life
my desparate embrace
holding on to the distilled essence
of who we are and want and desire
of all possible choices
in the universe
given and born within
share from out most vulnerable
embodiment of highest ideas
over and over
dying in the pause of our breath
life will rise
in the moment we inhale again
pushing further and further
towards our grasp of something just beyond
always willing to try again
Hauling Iron UphillEmbedded into my side;Hauling Iron Uphill in Free Verse More Like This
carved into my consciousness
the only truth I ever knew
once a sigh of relief
the only feeling that ever drew
emotion from this well
you complete me
dried eyes for eternity
you answer my every question
to the world
Sleeping DragonIn fantasySleeping Dragon in Free Verse More Like This
we bled blue
me and you
like oil paintings
on a hot summer day.
The IslandThose who run low in despairThe Island in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
wading through waters
undeniably their own tears-
forging these seas of hatred
that lead straight to the island
adorned in flesh
in a dream state;
at the very least
from our own thoughts.
Onaletta[Chorus]Onaletta in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
you can feel him
behind my kiss
for you to dismiss
I know you can feel him
behind my kiss..
Can you see him
in the whites of my eyes
can you trace his foot prints
up the back of my thighs
I know you can feel him
behind my kiss
"You're no better than this"
I know you can feel him
behind my kiss
and yet you stick it out
Muckas dark as it isMuck in Free Verse More Like This
as muted the tones
as lackluster in form
it's still my love
Under the Cold MoonSo long the great tideUnder the Cold Moon in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
That drug us to shore that night
Under the cold moon
So long the waters
That we waded for hours
That turned our hearts black
Now I'm lost at sea
Anticipating your light
Coming towards me
Now I'm lost at sea
Reminiscing over you
Choking down my tears
CrestfallenOh I never knewCrestfallen in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
just how long it would take
to stage these flowers
upon this grave
To bury our love
to forget this mistake
to fall back asleep
[who knew I would wake?]
The moon has drawn it's curtains
for it's very last show
the seasons keep changing
but I wouldn't know
Just like I never knew love
I never knew fame
just the silence of this graveyard
and the headstone that remains
MaskedMake a wish on a falling star,Masked in Free Verse More Like This
Hold it tight until it singes
Clinging to society by its fringes
You hide behind the magic binges.
Paint your face in every shade
Every color you do not own.
But what you see will make you moan
Because the shape is set in stone.
Hide inside and bear the shame
As public or private as you feel today.
Since you know folksll come this way
No matter what guise you wear today.
And maybe one day youll think of me
And abhor the lie you give to the world
And maybe youll let your wings uncurl
And wash off the paint for a skyclad twirl.
DisarrangedNow that i am inevitably evil,Disarranged in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
I no longer hate you.
Don't think i fogive you,
I just stopped caring.
We fell apart long ago,
No fault of yours or i,
a backlash of time.
I always wanted to be just like you.
You were perfect as far as i could see.
Now i know how it feels to be just like you.
Now you're desolate without me.
I'll always be a part of you.
You'll always be a part of me.
But while she is inside of you,
You can never be free.
Isolation is the last salvation of the disarranged.
Disarranged like you and disarranged like me.
TiredDeep undercover,Tired in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
a life not yet expressed.
The full extent of my loathing is still unknown.
a shelter made of dirt.
Your father was a Nazi and now everything hurts.
Bring me all your self obsessed vanity.
Mask it with friendly curiosity.
Your care for me is a deflection of your shortcomings.
I am stronger than all of this.
A self made messiah stewing in my intellect.
My thoughts take me away from you.
Free without wanting to be.
My thoughts are my many ways of getting away from you.
Tired of all this fucking waiting.
Time is over now. Let's do it.
Stain my conscience with all of this.
FleshOverbearing and tragic.Flesh in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Under consuming and perfect.
Your sense of self is lost in all of her.
What a sad little story,
self destructive and boring.
Your face is in mourning for your self esteem,
Libido and feelings. Your very being.
Turn yourself in to something you're not,
To get away from who you are.
Turn yourself in to something you're not.
Walking away from life.
All trouble. All strife.
Walking away from life and everything you thought you were.
You're the same person,
Just wearing different flesh.
EndeavoursYour attempts are futile.Endeavours in Free Verse More Like This
Bitterness wrapped in a sweetened melancholy.
25 years of empty.
Abstruse attempts at a message,
Your complexities are offending.
What else do you want me to say?
God never reached for me.
I am overloading with hate and this anger i cannot seem to control or stop.
I have no outlet.
No words. No Voice.
I want to scream but i have no voice.
Happy - Smile
Be productive and then you can die.
My nihilistic endeavours have left me floating,
yet I cannot decide if I want to come down.
You are the very embodyment of my rage,
just staring at me.
Social AtrocityPaper thin morals and a paradoxical existence.Social Atrocity in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Life would be so great if you could only run the distance.
All being and nothingness,an empty shell of presence.
Your pity becomes you and your existence precedes your essence.
You don't know what you want or are,
or what you even hoped for.
I can see your blank and empty eyes looking down on me.
Is this pointless figure everything you dreamed to be?
You are a download.
Your empty conscious leaves your imagination free.
A digital monstrosity, a simple thing of mediocrity.
Painful and cold, your life has been sold.
Your thoughts are compressed and hardwired.
Your ideas are not yours and your soul is tired.
Your purpose has been greatly exaggerated.
Then, Now and Always.All the days we never had and never will.Then, Now and Always. in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Choke on your love.
What a wonderful way to exit.
I can remember the first time that i saw you.
You couldn't and didn't.
I had to do it for you.
An insensible tiny touch.
Hanging on every word, just to see your mouth move.
Incomparable - Undeniable - Indefinable.
You showed me how to be, a utopian dream.
All i've known and all i've seen was entwined in your being.
Your fingers forever claspt in mine.
I can remember the last time that i saw you.
You couldn't and didn't.
I had to do it for you.
What WrongHis hatred for me only seems to get wroseWhat Wrong in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The words that fall out of his beautiful mouth drip with acidic poison
Makes me feel as if it's my fault
Try as I might, I cannot find a way to justify it...
There is no reason behind those tainted words
Nor, is there reason obvious movements to get away from me
As if I carry a hideous stench that clings and stains the air of which he breathes
Everything I say in attempt to correct whatever wrong I cause him appears to fall upon deaf ears
Gentle remarks, casual "accidental" touchings, even little gifts all make him recoil
As if I were tainted with an uncurable disease
His eyes burn with such disdaine, it actually makes me feel as if I am terrible
His gaze almost makes me feel as if I can believe and phathom whatever wrong has upset him
But...I cannot think of any recent wrongs...
Does he consider the lost baby my fault?
A sweet cherub of which was lost before either could look into it's angelic eyes...
Hear its gentle heart beating...
Was it tr
LyingI can hear your voice in the whisper of the nightLying in Free Verse More Like This
Reminding me of the things you once told me
Things, that again, I believed without question
But things change too often for them to have ever been true
I see the way you look at her
And the way your voice smiles when you talk about her
That beautiful girl whom you've fallen so quickly for
I tell you that I'm so happy for you
...but I'm lying
Silently, I pull myself away...and wish it was me instead
We had made plans to get together, and have some fun
But, oh, how quickly things change
You tell me that you have to cancel those
She's stolen your heart
We have a little talk...
You tell me we should just be friends
I reluctantly agree...all the while fighting back the tears...
Silent tears that you will never see...
I watch the giddyness come over you like a little puppy
And I can't help but smile, and feel just a little bit happy
But, even in the midst of me being happy....my heart is shattering
..and you don't even know it....
We try to a
Moving OnFast paceMoving On in Free Verse More Like This
No time to breath
Always being pulled in one direction or another
Everything just rushed by....
Am I ready for this?
Can I move on without looking back?
I weep when it crosses my mind...
Why can't I have more time?
They told me it was going to come
For so long they kept preparing us for the future
Preparing us to say goodbye
We thought we had more time
We thought that this day would never come
And we would always be with each other until the end of time
Well....that's not going to happen
We're going to move on
Life's not going to take us by the hand anymore
We're not going to be guided in our choices anymore
It's up to us
Are we ready for this?
Can we move on without looking back?
We weep when it crosses our minds...
Why can't we have more time?
The past couple years just sped past us
We didn't even realize we were in the fast lane
Everything's changing so fast
I just want it to slow down
But deep in my heart, I know it won't
Am I ready for this?
Can I move
Enter the ShamanLike Shamans,Enter the Shaman in Free Verse More Like This
Give form forces,
Communicate the foundation
To glean new perspectives,
An aspect within a society,
Walking the forest
I would go so far-
Demons were at their most subdued.
Ramblings From Afardifficulties determined,Ramblings From Afar in Other More Like This
said so in your eyes.
throughout all nations.
I'm off again. Didn't think I could stay.
This way, each day.
twisting me I evolve...
to a different state
all that came before. I was. I will
every molecule of air as it wraps around this body
do not look with those eyes
away at every fiber.
its easy really
Autumn LeavesRed, yellow, orange, golden brown,Autumn Leaves in Free Verse More Like This
Autumn leaves are on the ground.
The trees are looking rather bare,
Cold, damp weather everywhere.
Yet I quite like this time of year,
Open fires bring great cheer.
Comfort food is hot and steaming,
Ice on grass and paths is gleaming.
Frost glitters on my window frame,
No two patterns are quite the same.
Wind is chill and feels like a storm,
People all wrapped up, nice and warm.
With rosy cheeks and windswept hair,
Eyes streaming, from the chilly air.
Rushing quickly on their own way,
Not seeing the beauty of the day.
I'm glad I like to walk quite slow,
Taking pleasure in Nature's show.
This time of year soon will pass,
Bringing ice like sheets of glass.
Temperatures too cold to bear,
Icicles forming here and there.
Snowflakes falling on everything,
People hide inside till it's Spring.
Winter is not the time for me,
Like the birds, I'd much rather flee.
I'll stay in my home, warm and dry,
And let the whole season pass me by.