101 Excuses for Being Late1- I twisted my ankle and had to be gentle with it.101 Excuses for Being Late6 years ago in Humor More Like This
2- I accidentally locked myself in a closet and had to wait for someone to show up and rescue me.
3- My car ran out of gas and I had to push it to the nearest station to get more.
4- I got lost on the way here.
5- I was waylaid by French highwaymen.
6- I was waylaid by Dutch highwaymen.
7- I was forced by necessity to engage in a particularly epic rap battle.
8- Gravity increased while I was on the way here and it was much harder to walk quickly.
9- I was caught in a beartrap.
10- I killed my alarm clock this morning and accidentally slept in.
11- I was abducted by aliens.
12- I abducted some aliens.
13- I was busy transporting illegal aliens across the border.
14- I became entranced by a street performer who was doing the robot.
15- I was busy exploding things in the microwave.
16- I was busy beating a hobo to death with my shoes.
17- I was busy landing a SICK 180 tailside boardslide and lost track of time.
18- I was busy NOT landing
Encyclopedia NoobtanicaNoob as defined in the Spooksters Dictionary: Noun; "a rude/crude/rascist/stupid/and probably illiterate asshole/bitch/bastard/SOB/cunt/fucktard/dumbassed piece of shit."Encyclopedia Noobtanica6 years ago in Humor More Like This
Following are eighteen different varieties of noobs.
1. THE BAD GRAMMAR NOOB
Probable age: Any.
Probable sex: Either.
Fucktardedness: Low to high.
Info: Easily the most common type of noob, these people appear unnable or unwilling to submit to the rule of grammar, spelling, or punctuation. You may spend several moments trying to decipher whatever the hell it is that the person actually said. An example: "im in ur bas kilin ur dudz."
2. THE SQUEEKER
Genre: Any genre with voice support.
Probable age: 8-13
Probable sex: Male.
Info: Imagine the most high-pitched child you can. Now imagine that child shrieking vulgarities and vague threats and insults at you over the headset. Where the fuck are this kids parents?
3. "IT'S THE LAG, I SWEAR!" NOOB
Harbinger: Part IIrken Empire SpaceHarbinger: Part I6 years ago in Science Fiction More Like This
Above Planet Renfar
Stratospheric Docking Ring
Hurry up, Mik! Im going to be late! shouted a decidedly tall, slim Irken. Clad in black pants and a black, long-sleeved tunic with a dark green sash draped from shoulder to hip, it was not just his dress that set him apart in the crowded inner walkways of Renfars massive docking ring, but also his starchy and aristocratic manner, as he gliding with practiced grace through wave after wave of the Irken Empires merchant-marine. His red eyes glaredglared because the tall, regal Irkens brow was seemingly set in a perpetual scowlpurposefully forward, toward his destination.
Im coming, sir! a slightly shorter, pink-eyed, bespectacled Irken puffed back breathlessly while he struggled valiantly to hold himself steady with the disproportionate weight of his superiors luggagetwo on the right, one on the leftthrea