Pick up line retortsSarcastic retorts to bad chat up linesPick up line retorts7 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
THE LINE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
RESPONSE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
THE LINE: Is this seat empty?
RESPONSE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
THE LINE: So, what do you do for a living?
RESPONSE: I'm a female impersonator.
THE LINE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
RESPONSE: Do not enter.
THE LINE: Your body is like a temple.
RESPONSE: Sorry, there are no services today.
THE LINE: If I could see you naked, Id die happy.
RESPONSE: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.
THE LINE: Where have you been all my life?
RESPONSE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.
THE LINE: Are you an air-hostess cause my hearts just taken off
RESPONSE: Well the rest of your body better follow
THE LINE: How do you like your eggs in the morning
THE LINE: Can I buy you a drink?
RESPONSE: Actually I'd rather have the money.
THE LINE : I'm a photographer. I've been lookin
AccidentAccident9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We fucked last night.
There we were again, parked somewhere, his hand down the front of my unders
(I like it when he begs me to take them off
& I tell him how he's got to start doing things for himself around here)
& I'm panting in his ear.
& I'm panting in his ear&
I'm trying not to say those things
that I'm always trying not to say.
We're walking down the dark alley
towards the cute church park, with the merry-go-round,
& a man runs after us, asking,
HEY! where we were going.
My cigarettes were in your hand
because I was buttoning my cardigan
because you had just stated how
HEY! every guy we'd walked past had checked out my boobs
& the man told us we couldn't go in.
The park's for the children &&&&&&&&&&
& they'd been finding cigarette butts, pointing to my pack,
YOU were the example & you don't even smoke
but, baby, you took it so smooth.
So we walked to another park, two blocks away.
I'm sitting on the table with my feet on the chair
& you sit next to me & rub my clit throu