Funny SayingsAny law enacted with more than fifty words contains at least one loopholeFunny Sayings9 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Evil is live spelled backwards
God must love stupid people, he made so many of them
When all else fails, read the instuctions
"Push" is the force exerted upon the door marked "Pull"
What some people lack in intelligence, they make up in stupidity
There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head
The light at the end of the tunnel could turn out to be the headlight of an oncoming train
A watched pot never boils, unless you light the gas under it
If your parents don't have kids, odds are you won't either
Curiosity kills more mice than cats
Save the whales. Collect the whole set
On the other hand, you have different fingers
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
How many of you believe in psycho kinesis?...Raise my hand
OK...so what's the speed of dark?
When everything is coming y
ZenSometimesZen2 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
In the zen garden
Rocks contemplate people
LostI'm so sorryLost11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But i can't take it anymore
love me, hate me..
My eyes are filled with tears
and my heart is drenched in ice
there's one thing that makes me feel
aside from yor voice
and as i drag the blade
across my now painless wrist
somewere deep inside
im hoping you'll notice
Realize im bleeding
That you'll come save me..
But i know..
You'll never pull me back up
You'll shove me back farther
wish i could see your eyes one last time
Pray to something that your heart weren't empty
My love is meaningless to you
i gave everyting to you
I should have known..
Maye when im gone
You'll realize what you tossed aside
when im gone
you'll love me then
Rocking in my shadows
I can't banish the thougt of you..
You are my salvation..
You are my demise.
I gave it all away
Idont want it back
You've finally broken me baby..
I havent the stength to walk away
To dry my veins..
My release is in the blood
can you feel it?
Resident EvilResident Evil12 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It burns, it itches, it smells, it sweats
I never believed I could actually scratch my skin off
Everyone around me is going crazy
My wife bit me
But not the way that she used to
She ate my flesh
Down to the bone
There was nothing left in her eyes
I feel there\'s nothing left in mine
All I hear is bullets
All I hear is screaming
I hear the blood in their veins
I smell my own deterioration
In the wind of Raccoon City
And I hand over my humanity
To the man with the umbrella
Sleepy. Itchy. Hungry. Tasty.
How Not to Tell a StoryAfter being on DeviantArt for a few years now, I've noticed patterns in people's stories. Patterns, that I can't say I've ever seen until I started using the internet. I believe that's because these kind of patterns are thoroughly unprofessional. The pattern in short is this:How Not to Tell a Story3 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Character = victim
Plot = bad things happening to said victim
Maybe this sounds harsh. It's not if you understand that is ALL there is to these stories. They take any character, hurl them into a tragedy and that's it.
Let's get this straight: We do not know your character well enough to care about them yet. No matter how bloody and gutty their injuries are, no matter how many of their family members are deceased, no matter what their boyfriend did to them, no matter what kind of disease they have, WE. DO. NOT. CARE!!!!!
These kind of things are sad in themselves, but WHO is this person we're supposed to feel so horrible for? Establish THAT. It should be your absolute FIRST priority: no exceptions.
No more pasting
Every YouTube Fight Ever(This will almost certainly contain heavy profanity and the usernames used in this were pulled out of my own head and aren't any real people that I know of but if someone has usernames matching them then it's probably coincidental).Every YouTube Fight Ever5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
SamusFan20 in the video description: This is my Metroid compilation of pictures in a slideshow featuring Samus set to Queen's "We Will Rock You." I hope you guys enjoy.
DisgruntledAsswipe87: Jesus Christ you're such a faggot. Why the hell would you post pics of a fictional girl and set it to Queen? Do yourself a favor and go get a REAL GIRLFRIEND, loser. Oh, and stop shaming such a great band with such a shitty video game and your BS imature antics at attempting to fap to it.
(In reply to DisgruntledAsswipe87) ConcernedStranger17: Hey, calm the fuck down, douchebag. If this person is so "immature," than what the hell are you doing on a video meant for a video game girl, anyway? I bet you were at home looking for something to fap to and found this and decide
The American Obesity ProblemThe American Obesity Problem5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
I have no face. There was a time when I may have owned one, but this is a fuzzy half-memory. In fact, it may be entirely an invention of fantasy. These days, regardless of my history, I know for a fact that I have no face. However, I have been granted a name: The American Obesity Problem. And I am growing in the United States. You may have seen me on television. You may have been witness to my disconcerting back cleavage and mystified by the seamless transition my legs make from my calves into my ankles. You probably saw my unsettlingly large, shelf-like behind as it strained against my tight Capri pants that I swore I would fit into someday and, when I didn't lose the weight, decided to wear anyway because, "If I spend more than $30 on pants I better damn well find a way to squeeze into them." You may have caught a glance of ponytail resting on my back, or a peek at several of my lower chins. But
Zodiacs - The ExileZodiacs - The Exile6 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Standing atop a gate along with ten other samurai in light armor, Kira held a bow rather than a staff and stared out past the fires of a besieging army of warriors out of the horde-lands. They'd held for a week against the attack and had the stores to last two months more.
That was more than enough.
These horders were many, but they were inexpert besiegers. Even a cub like her could recognize that. The enemy had been crashing against the walls ineffectually for the entire attack, losing large numbers and having only minimal impact on the warriors within. At the time she had wondered why they didn't simply go past the castle, but an older perspective on events instructed her the reason.
The invaders had numbers, yes, but not enough numbers to trap the Kikage in their fortress and still conquer the whole of the Meichiga province. Nor could they leave the Kikage untouched, the wolves would decimate their flanks in coor
Insists on incestthe father,son and holy ghostInsists on incest8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I love to suck the sacred host
on bended knee,in blasphemy
I raise my lips to the holy three
if not done nightly,I feel hollow
my father taught me to always swallow
"it doesn't'' count if you spit it out"
my father used to nightly shout
Sometimes,I'd gag,the bile would rise
depends on the load,the taste and size
I learned to swallow with delight
now I teach my son at night
(if my putrid soul I sell
I'll suck the holy ghost in hell)
"The cycle of incest must be broken"
so called,words of wisdom,spoken
but it will not end with me
I love my darling family
I was taught the Golden Rule
a son obeys the fathers tool
so full of love,I'll soon explode
I taught my son to bare my load
A Day in the Life of a Busy WomanA Day in the Life of a Busy Woman3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The redheaded woman, Mao Semezou, kneeled at the edge of her room next to a case full of various tools used for engraving and marking surfaces. Currently, there was a chisel in her hand which she was using to carefully cut a line into the concrete of her floor. There was already a fairly wide network of lines across the floor, and the line she had just started was going to be intersecting several of those. The rug that normally covered the inscribed concrete was rolled up and out of the way.
Mao was youthful-seeming. At the moment, dressed for dirty work, someone just glancing would probably have taken her for someone between nineteen and twenty years old. A look in her face, however, would have confused the issue. There was precious little youth in her expression and manner, and an appreciation for simple, peaceful tasks that came with an innate watchfulness that was not acquired without a price paid in tragedy.
The Window SillThe Window Sill5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Daylight fades on my sill,
Starlight begins to shine slowly,
Silvery and bright, gentle to my skin, the memories of the harsh sunlight and harsh memories fade away by this silvery soft touch, healing begins at night,
I hate the harsh sanguine of the day,
It bares all,
All the scars of my past, and doubts of the future,
This twilight, this dusk is so magical, flooding the light into my bedroom,
Only an amethyst butterfly and a tabby kitten for company,
The butterfly gently settles on the kitty's nose to get a better view,
Silence has fallen and the world is shrouded with the purple haze,
As the comforting dark settles,
Dark Stygian silhouettes start creeping up,
Form becomes formless,
Reality hazily turns to abstract as the soft perse makes the wings of the butterfly glow from within, some sort of alien amaranthine beauty,
It opens its wings to harness the light as if trying to capture the beauty of dusk; the tabby's eyes grow wider in surprise,
As the butterfly begins to glow,
The Four ElementsThe power of water surrounded,The Four Elements7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I'm floating without a care
Beneath the waves my vision's clouded
Though I see no reason to beware.
On eagle's wings I soar on the wind
There's no attachment to reality here
And deep inside me I look within
So everything's becoming clear.
Warmth and healing comes from fire,
A changing grace that brings me home
Light the flame and make it higher
Now I know I'm not alone.
Together water, wind, fire, and earth,
We are joined into a beautiful rebirth.
Bystander - Making a Point - pg 125-140Bystander - Making a Point - pg 125-1404 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Lucretia shifted to the side unsteadily as she started to take in her surroundings and state of being as much as possible.
Her memories started about, five minutes ago, stumbling down the street. She was still buzzing, with the start of a headache developing. Of course, her first conscious act was to stop the graceless shuffling. Instead she was simply weaving unpredictably.
"No one found the queen tonight," she muttered, losing memory of the statement only moments later. She sighed as she wavered side to side.
That just left the question of where she was.
Stopping at the first corner, she looked up towards one of the street signs impotently. In a movie, the sign would have been a sheer, featureless blue to imply how cold it was. At least, that's what she heard from people that saw movies involving heat-viewing monsters. Since most movie theaters had big screen LCDs, most of what she saw was ele
Special MS: HachidenshikiHachidenshiki (Eight legendary Powers) is a far more advanced version of Rokushiki that can only be learned by those who have complete mastery over Rokushiki, along with having great proficiantcy in using Haki. Here are the techniques:Special MS: Hachidenshiki4 years ago in Settings More Like This
Hirameki (Flash) - A far more advanced version of Soru that revolves around kicking off the ground 10 times just like a nomal Soru, only diffrence being that the user legs are enhanced with Haki during the kicking the ground procces, resulting in moving twice as fast.
Gekka (Moon rocket) - A far more advance version of Geppou with Busoshoku haki propoties.
??? - A hypnotizing technique that revolves around the use of Kenbunshoku haki.
Mahi (Paralysis) - A striking technique where the user directs his/her Haki to certain points of the enemy's body that will result in weakening the enemy in many ways, from loosing his strength to shutting down his DF abilites temporally.
Gen (Illusion) A fusion of Soru and Kami-e w
OPAU profile: WG Nico RobinName: Nico RobinOPAU profile: WG Nico Robin5 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Nicknames: Demon child, Black Rose, Shadow blossom, Shigan Goddess, The Femme fatale of the WG, Woman of 100 fists, Lethal Violet, Cunning Flower, among other names.
Age: 28 (debut), 30 (after time skip)
Birthday: February 6th
Height: 6'2" (10'2" in Mankai Form)
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Blue
Occupations: Super Assassin/Soldier, Secret Intelligence agent, Commander, Bodyguard, Researcher
Affiliations: Goseikishi, Shadow Admiral of the Marines special division and Head of the Marines Intelligence division (former), Vice-president of Baroque Works (only as an undercover assignment, which is to spy on Crocodile for the WG), member and Co-leader of CP9 (former), special child weapon (former)
Devil Fruit: Hana Hana no Mi ("Bloom Bloom" or "Flower Flower" Fruit)
Abilities: High level proficiency in all three types of Haki (especially Kenbunsh
Who listens to the weatherman? -LudwigxReader“What a beautiful day~” you smiled and deeply breathed in the chilly, but pleasant autumn air. Today really was a beautiful day- the sun was shining, the sky was a beautiful blue, but it wasn’t unbearably hot… in fact it was rather cool.Who listens to the weatherman? -LudwigxReader3 years ago in Romance More Like This
A fact which you immediately noticed as you began to shiver slightly and rub your arms in an attempt to warm yourself. You groaned a bit as wind started to pick up. “Why is it s-s-soo c-c-c-cold?” you complained, your thoughts of it being a beautiful day quickly fading from your mind. Not that this was a rare occurrence for you. You had often misjudged the weather… foolishly thinking that a clear sky and sunshine meant that it was warm enough to go out with a t-shirt and jeans.
You then took out your phone and stared at it. Thirty minutes. Exactly thirty minutes until the bus came. “I’m going to be a Popsicle by the time it comes!” you chattered as you began to try to warm yourself up by jum
Broken WingsBroken Wings3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She can see all the things
She'd rather be
Up in the tree
With broken wings
She watched it all
An empty heart
Torn and broken
Her whole life
With one knife
She was stolen
There was a small light
Falling from the sky
From up so high
With all its might
Her beauty sold
Her body marred
She feels no more
She cannot become
So now she stares
At all the things
She'd rather be
Up in the tree
With broken wings
A How To on Writing FanfictionA How To on Writing Fanfiction8 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
1. Intelligence is required. No matter how interesting or humorous a plot you may have, it is always better to read a well-written, intelligible fiction than a thrown-together piece of junk riddled with spelling/grammatical mistakes.
2. Plot is important. There are such things as PWP's (see PWP section), but other than that, plot is what really makes a story. What is happening is what makes the reader go on and want to read more.
3. Creativity is a must. No one wants to read the same thing that they have seen from 50 other writers. Try to be original, and if you see an idea you really like, improvise it a little without copying it outright.
4. Every element in the story matters. From the plot to the series to what happens to the characters, everything ties together to make the story what it is.
OVERALL WRITING SKILLS
Some writers are just naturally gifted and have a way with words. Others struggle with how to make complex senten