The world's best pickup linesthe world's best pickup linesThe world's best pickup lines9 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
01) "Nice legs... what time do they open?"
02) "The word of the day is legs, lets go back to my place and spread the word."
03) "My love for you is like diarhea. i just can't hold it in."
04) "If i feel your boobs, i can tell how old you are. (starts feeling womens boobs)... well, not really i
just like to touch your hot body!!!!"
05) "I love you like a fat kid loves cake!!!"
06) "I love your crack like a cocaine addict loves crack!!!"
(made by lamespriter aka Parker Curtis) ENJOY!!! leave feed for me!!! i can find more if you guys want to see more!!!
Funny pick up linesWorlds funniest and weird pick up linesFunny pick up lines7 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Did you clean your pants with Windex? Because I can practically see myself in them
2. I play the field and it looks like I just hit a home run with you!
3. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
4. Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
5. Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
6. Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
7. Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.
8. You must play the trumpet, because you sure made me horny!
9. I'm good at math. U+I equals 69
10. Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass!
11. Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, because you are a firecracker!
12. You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
13. Your name must be Mickey because youre so fine!
14. Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a co
Pick Up Lines Part IMost Popular Pickup LinesPick Up Lines Part I7 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"]
... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!".
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.
Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty
Ten LettersAs a writerTen Letters7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I must get down
10,000 words a day.
Or ten chapters.
Ten plot points
Or ten completed scenes.
Or at the very least
© 2008 Mark Pearce
Keeping a SecretKeeping a Secret6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
As I look at the papers on the desk I found after I returned from my lunch break, the memories return to me. I feel like removing the visor covering my eyes even though Im not supposed to be able to do so, just to rub my face tiredly. People have no idea how much you miss such a simple thing, after a life with a visor stuck to your face. Even though I got other patients to look after and still have work to do, I feel bored and not really into my work after my main patient succeeded to escape from Seven, along with many other inmates. I have been told to get her out of my head and focus on my work, but my lifes work has been helping and curing that one patient. Im sure its only a matter of time before shell return to her high security cell. They caught her before, theyll probably do it again.
The papers are a new report on her though. Shes still out there, but they observed something they wish to have my opini
A Poem About WordsA Word on WordsA Poem About Words2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I’ve never been very good with words.
I spend so much time searching for the right ones,
For that one perfect phrase to describe a feeling.
Slippery as a sunfish it incessantly escapes me,
Or gets hooked upon my lip.
It’s difficult to say what I mean,
Let alone mean what I say.
And words make it so much harder;
Ineffectual, impersonal and imprecise as they are.
I might say I love a steaming pot of tea in the morning,
Or a big cozy sweater on a winter’s day.
But sweaters and tea don’t quite add up to how I feel about you.
You might say a rose is pretty,
Or a sunset.
But I am hardly a flower or a sinking star.
I wish there were a way to pinpoint these feelings,
To let you know exactly what they are.
Instead I tread water futilely,
Drowning in the vagueness of language;
I simply choose silence.
Perhaps worst of all about words,
Is that they can lose their luster so devastatingly quickly.
I want meaning to permeate time; to last forever
Love IsLove is feeling.Love Is2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Shared between anyone.
Love is pride.
Stand up for your orrientation.
Love is shared.
Everyone deserves to feel love.
Love is given.
Something taken with flushing cheeks.
Love is taken.
Accepted and sometimes stolen.
Love is lust.
A type of love used souly to gain pleasure.
Love is forgiveness.
Another chance to prove.
Love is acceptance.
Taken and respected for who you are.
Love is pure.
Pure and clean to be taken as such.
Love is unclean.
Confusion and uncertainty.
Love is unexplained.
Simply something we feel in our hearts.
Love is love.
In any way or any form.
Nothing more, nothing less.
So stop labeling it differently.
TF - Best Laid Plans"Best Laid Plans"TF - Best Laid Plans9 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Red Alert wrung his hands in concern, watching as a troop of Autobot warriors vanished down the road from the Ark, a dust cloud kicking up their wake and the Aerialbots flying off overhead. Normally, such a small rescue team wouldn't be of concern to the Security Director...except that they were the fourth one to leave in the last three days.
A few days prior, a call for help from Cybertron's Autobot femme resistance force regarding some troublesome activity from Shockwave and his drone army reached the Ark, causing Ironhide, Mirage, Smokescreen and Powerglide to climb aboard Omega Supreme for a flight home to kick a little aft. Then, late last night, word reached the Autobots from Kuwait that the country's oil fields were under heavy assault from not only the Insecticons, but the Constucticons as led by Megatron, as well. Optimus Prime gathered a force consisting of Bluestreak, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Trailbreaker, Warpath, Gea
.:Ratchet's Resignation:..:Ratchet's Resignation:..:Ratchet's Resignation:.8 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Dear Commanding Officer/Waste of Parts/Annoyance of the Millennium Award Winner/Pentium Reliant Collection of Scrap/Ruiner of My Life at Large/ Son of an iMac: (Del. As applicable)</i>
As a graduate of an institution of higher education known as the Medical Academy of Iacon and holder of a senior role in your staff, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellectual capacity that ranges above that of the common hexnut. After your consistent annoying and harassment of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties over the past twelve million years, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true technological and mechanical wastes of our time.
Asking me, a highly qualified, senior medical technician, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen, fuel and proc
Atheism: An essay I am an atheist. Atheism is not a religion. There is no assigned moral code; each atheist has his or her own personal morals. There are no written texts giving guidelines to life for atheists. Some acclaimed atheists might just be lazy and want to escape from the responsibility that comes with believing in a god and feeling guilty for blasphemy committed. In that case, I think that this person is not atheist, but just a pathetic human being who doesn't like to take responsibility for their actions. Sure, atheists do not believe in the existence of a god, but does this mean that they lack morals because they do not follow teachings of a religion?Atheism: An essay8 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
I say, of course not. It is simply not fair for anyone to judge anyone else for anything, and atheism is a great example. I would like to give viewpoints from many religions, but my general knowledge doesn't go past the conflict between Christianity (specifically Catholicis
Oreo OreoOreo, Oreo!Oreo Oreo12 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Wherefore art thou Oreo?
Deny thy milk and refuse thy creme!
For it is by thy creme that thou art yummy...
For what's in a creme?
That which we call "cookies 'n creme" by any other creme would taste as sweet!
With that creme! Doff that creme!
And for that creme that is every part of thee, take all myself!
Cell PhonesCell Phones7 years ago in Open More Like This
Cell phones have changed my life.
Now I hate people.
© 2008 Mark Pearce
High School Dress Code...Girls may not wear pants to classHigh School Dress Code...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
unless the temperature is below
32 degrees Fahrenheit
as of 7:00 am that day.
And then, a miracle.
Through executive decree,
girls could wear pants
even if it was thirty-three degrees
or thirty-four degrees, or higher
as of 7:00 am that day.
It was a heady time.
shaking the foundation of
And contrary to dire prognostications
the sky did not fall.
The world did not go to hell.
At least immediately.
High School Dress Code circa 1972
© 2009 Mark Pearce
DetoxJustToRetox - 3The kid perched on the far side of the bed. He was all hunched over, panting slightly. I had no clue what to do and just stood there dumbly. I should just leave, I thought. Go home, maybe. Maybe get run over on the way.DetoxJustToRetox - 36 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Before I could take a step, Patrick broke into fits of coughing, heavy and low.
But the scary part is it didn't stop.
He would pause for a second to inhale (or try) and would just keep coughing.
"Patrick?" I asked, scared and concerned. Which was pretty stupid to ask, to be honest. How could I expect him to answer if he could barely breathe.
I blinked and ran back into the bathroom, fanatically riffling through his medicine cabinet.
There it was. The inhaler I blatantly passed off. I grabbed it and raced back into the bedroom, nearly hurling the inhaler at Patrick, who grabbed it and raised it too his lips.e inhaled the medicine and as I watched it fall from his hand. He dropped back against the pillows and I stood, stiff and scared, watching.
Goldfinch as GrandmotherShe was crazy as a loon, snapping slowGoldfinch as Grandmother8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
golden Polaroid photos through dust specked
photos of nothing
photos of the back yard apple tree and
thick, low mellow California light.
She was crazy about birds,
buying cheap dimestore taxidermied versions
and making us put on plays with them,
casting goldfinch as grandmother.
We were permitted only to chirp.
Birds chirp, they don't speak. Don't be silly now.
I had to beg for the house when she died,
its tuneless piano, its halls piled ankle high
with the last twelve years worth of
It took me three weeks to find them,
the sliding stacks of photos
and not one of me.
Until finally our fingers, unimportant
and yellowed like the hands of smokers
by bad photography and poor storage,
pinching small plastic feet.
And on the reverse, in a cramped
and scratchy hand, written
Jay and Robin, 1979.
.:Curse of The Rubik's Cube:..:The Curse of the Rubix Cube:..:Curse of The Rubik's Cube:.9 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
A strange feeling had hounded Ratchet throughout the day and now, as he sat in his office making a paper clip chain, he realised what it was. During the entire day, thus far at least, the entire eight-hour shift he'd worked up to this point, precisely slag all had happened.
The Decepticons hadn't attacked; Wheeljack hadn't been carted into medbay in a self-induced blazing inferno; Red Alert hadn't had a minor circuit seizure over a speck of dust; Sunstreaker hadn't scratched his paintjob and had a screaming blue fit about it and Prime, dear old Prime, hadn't seen fit to terrorise him with the results of yet another attack on the 'Cons base. At any other time Ratchet would have been in a really good mood about this turn of events, but no, something was wrong - very wrong.
That something was really quite simple. He was bored stiff, no actually, more than that – he was deathly bored. He linked the last paper clip in his paper clip chain to the first,
Serial Killer Pickup LinesAre you an angel? Because that's the only mythological creature I haven't raped yet.Serial Killer Pickup Lines6 years ago in Humor More Like This
Is there a gaping wound in your side or are you just happy to see me?
Are you a thief? Because you've stolen my heart. Now get in the trunk.
The voices like your skin.
If you were a drug, I'd crush you and put you in that girl's drink.
If I bit my lip, would you kiss it better? [when she does, rip her face off with teeth]
I think my medication is wearing off.
Do you believe in love at first sight or shouldn't I have ripped your eyes out?
Do you like consensual sex? Neither do I.
Are you from Tennessee? Because that's the only state I'm not wanted in.
Baby, you must be a broom because I'm going to snap your head off and clean the floor with it.
Want to get some air? Oh wait, I ate your lungs.
Do you have a map? Because I got lost in your eyes. [If this doesn't work, hit her in the head with a brick]
Can you give me directions...to your heart? And kidneys?
Is it hot in here or is it just the fire I've li
DetoxJustToRetox - 1It's pouring.DetoxJustToRetox - 16 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Pouring, and gray. Fitting, I guess. Even the sky is sad to let me go.
I've made up my mind. Well, I guess it was official in the beginning, but I had told my self firmly that I was going to do it, and I would not back out.
No good byes, no notes, nothing. Just do it. Just end it.
I gazed out at the traffic whizzing by. I was on my toes, fidgeting as I watched the sign change into a red STOP hand.
I'm not honestly gonna do this, am I? I'm not really serious.
Walk into the traffic of a busy New York City corner, that is.
But I was very serious.
I had mapped it all out. When I was going to do to it.
I knew from the start. As a moron red a red light and almost killed me, right then and there. I knew it would be here, on this busy street. Where I would take my own life.
It was just a matter of random dates and times.
And I chose today.
Maybe its because there was no buzzing of an alarm in my ear. Just silence to greet me when I awoke. Maybe it was the empty house I met t
Lake Effect Kids pt. 3Theres a sizzle behind me, and I turn back to the bowl and pick up the now completely melted snow. Juggling the hot bowl between my hands, I make my way back over to Patrick, whos rubbing at his eyes with almost angry movements.Lake Effect Kids pt. 36 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Take it easy, dude, I caution him, kneeling down beside him and setting the bowl down on the concrete. I know youve got smoke in your eyes, but youll make it worse by rubbing like that.
Dropping his hands into his lap, he looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes that are full of a watery gratitude. A faint smile finds its way onto his face, and he lets out something like a sigh of relief.
Yeah, he says faintly. Smoke. Its really really annoying. Yeah.
Yehp, I say cheerfully. Now, lets take a look at your burn. Thisll be easier if you lie down, I add.
Right, okay, he mumbles, slowly lowering himself down onto his elbows, then dropping the
The GiftThe GiftThe Gift7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Out of all the decisions he had had to make, this one ranked as one of the trickiest.
Brow furrowed in concentration and comfortably sprawled on the couch in his quarters, Prime stared up at the half-painted ceiling, idly tapping the end of a small paintbrush against the metal of his chest as he was distracted by the swirls of colour. This had been a personal project of his for several years now, covering over the ubiquitous orange metal with Cybertrons night sky as he remembered it from that night all those years ago, sitting on the roof of the dock control tower with Dion and Ariel, sharing a cube of high grade that Dion had gotten from somewhere.
The next day five strangers had turned up at the warehouse and warned him about the other side to the great warrior from the southern states. Not that he listened of course.
He frowned and idly rubbed the spot just left and below his spark chamber, then frowned again and tucked that hand under his head as soon as
AspergersYou tease him.Aspergers4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Lie to him.
And he takes it all.
He doesn't understand. Or maybe he does and doesn't let on. He always has been one to want attention.
No. That was wrong. Not attention. He wants friends. He wants people who don't make fun of how he dresses or the things he likes. He wants people who don't egg him on for a laugh or call him names and make fun of his (often less than socially acceptable) mannerisms.
He doesn't see where he is wrong though! Oh, no. He can't tell when an appropriate time to make goofy faces is, or how Nazi jokes aren't very funny when in serious discussion. He doesn't know that words like "fag" and "retard" are not words he should be throwing around so casually, especially when they are the same words people call him.
I have tried to teach him these things. And I will continue to. People will make fun of me
My Dearest KittiesKitties are the greatest thingsMy Dearest Kitties8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Kitties are so cool
Kitties oh they just so cute
Don't they just make you drool?
Kitties are fantastalish!
Kitties are my friends
Kitties, they should be a part
Of all the hippest trends
Kitties are just wonderful
Kitties are so neat!
With their little Kitty ears
And Itty Bitty Kitty Feet
Kitties in the hallway
Kitties cover the floor
Kitties swimming in the bathtub
In and out the firdgy door
Kitties eat the strangest things
Ammonia and diamond rings
Kitties are the hippest groove!
Oh pretty Kitties...
Why won't you move?
PretendPretend9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I see you
from the corners of my
A shadow in a
sea of memories.
Let's have coffee tomorrow night
and pretend that
everything is wonderful--
as if I didn't
crush your heart
like the broken leaves
on grey October sidewalks.
Let's run away together
and pretend that
life is what it used to be--
before I wiped away
each little drop of hope
that dripped between
your pale fingertips.
Let's kiss under the stars
we're still in love...
And I wonder if you
see me in the corners
of your lonely eyes.
A shadow in a
sea of memories.