Leela's alternate reality: Futurama WG"I wonder what's taking so long." inquired Hermes the company bureaucrat. Leela adjusted her position in the seat, "I'm not sure myself, but damn well it better be worth the wait." Fry took a sip of slurm, "I have a lot of confidence the professor has something great in store for us. He always does. Right, Bender?" Bender took a lot drag from his cigar, "Yep."Leela's alternate reality: Futurama WG2 years ago in Humor More Like This
The door leading to the lab zipped sideways revealing the professor with an accomplished expression on his wrinkled face. "Good news, everyone! It's finished. The new What-if machine is FINISHED!"
The crew sighed. "Another one? Spleesh." Amy grunted walking away. The rest of the crew followed suit except for Leela. "Don't worry, Professor. I always enjoy your What-if machine."
The professor's wrinkles sprang upwards almost making a smile. "Really? Perhaps you'd like to try it out."
Farnsworth handed the television with a microphone attached to it to Leela. "Why not?" Leela thought about her question. What should it be? Who should
Pig FoxPig FoxPig Fox5 years ago in Settings More Like This
By: Erik the Fox
Farmer Brawn was out working on a cool, spring morning. His farm sat in the hilly countryside of the Midwest United States shortly after the Great War and not too far from town. Now, farmer Brawn was well known for all kinds of produce, meats, corn, wheat, soy, you name it he's farmed it, but what Brawn was most famous for were his pigs. Every year he would bring his biggest pig to local county fair to compete against his rival farmer, Clarence. Now, the Brawns and Clarences have been competing in the pig weigh- in completion ever since there was one and while competition between the two gets tougher ever year, the fight is still kept mostly fair. Sometimes one of youngins might go stir up some trouble for the other, but he's usually sent home with a bruised bottom. Never the less, it's been a tradition to see who can raise the biggest pig.
For the past 3 years Brawn has been seeing the blue ribbon go into Clarence's hands and while Brawn still gives Clarence t
Arbiter, the fat kangarooA young kangaroo named Arbiter is sleeping on his bed. There is nothing really special about him really, hes pretty skinny, and he has yellow fur all around his body expect for his belly which is white and the tip of his tail which is red. The kangaroo is wearing a white T-shirt with a rainbow on it and a pair of tight skater jeans. His hair is red, with an emoish flip to it. The roo lived a pretty decent life; he lived in a small apartment with one of his friends, a wolf, who was an excellent cook that usually served him healthy foods. Although the roo hated eating this hippie crap that his friend made for him, he could not complain, since his friend paid all of the bills and usually was the one that bailed him out of trouble. The roo always had a sweet tooth and enjoyed eating nothing but sugary candy 24/7. The roo also despised cleanliness, which he believed was evil. However, once again, he could not complain since his friend despised sugar and forbade any in hisArbiter, the fat kangaroo7 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
The statue of the GargoyleJeremy was in the countryside, exploring it, looking for rumoured treasures. One rumour was of a solid gold amulet studded with rubies and gems. He walked and looked for 7 hours until he came across a castle that looked ancient beyond guessing.The statue of the Gargoyle6 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
There wasn't much to say about it: a Gothic castle, like many other he had seen...although this one was in the countryside, which was kind of weird. It really stuck out like a sore tone: black, but surrounded by green. Jeremy slowly walked to the entrance, admiring the complexity of the building, and the various statues on the top.
There were many gargoyle statues, many had crumpled into dust but some were whole and seemed to be glaring at him. The frame work of the door had rotted away and now layed in a crumpled heap. So Jeremy had easy access
He stepped inside the dark building. He let out a long sigh when he saw the insides: it was all collapsed, there was no way he could go anywhere. Moving the debris out of the way was definitely not a goo
CITIESoneparenthesesCITIES9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
††††††††it was if i am not mistaken
two of us roaming flowing in and along the
July streets of a reckless city nothing stop
ping the caffeine drip and the
roasting of bowl and bowls in every barely
cranny Chicago could not see; A fewah
cigarsss she treated us as travelers and
we toasted over semi-bland food- Gawd
it was that day if it could not have been any
different; longing for experiences
like those is painful painful
We are 2wo of a Kind that will
roam street after street sticking out a
brief arrogance towards a limitless number
††††††††two Americans who can't
figure anything mentionable or EVEN worth twoanda
half hours. It's really too bad
for the city of Portland. When we roam we
light up streets and they tend to not let
go of our close to the same size feet.
I missher naturally like i miss good food
and soft clean carpet. This does not
scare me because I'm eighteen and i'll heal.
What is slightly unnerving is that this city
may be parch
The crap...As the pressure builds up,The crap...11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I know the poo will fill a cup,
As I run up the stairs,
I don't think anybody cares,
As I sit to take my crap,
I fall asleep and take a nap,
As soon as I awake,
My bum begins to quake,
As the poo comes out,
As I finish my business,
I unload alot of stress
Something about LaundromatsSomething about Laundromats and their clientele ofSomething about Laundromats8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
brand new middle-aged divorcee fathers juggling
week-end custody with week-end chores,
poor kids sitting bored as hell wondering why
this is how they have to spend their weekends, when
Mom with her new boyfriend Brent gets to go
up to Vegas without them.
There are the relocated upper-middle class
families, their brand new high-efficiency
super-capacity washers and dryers not yet delivered to their
brand new high-efficiency super-capacity homes
(furnished by super-capacity debt).
The wives are afraid to touch anything,
afraid the poor might rub off everyone else's clothes
and cling to hers, hoping those dryers are efficient enough to
drag loose that invisible lint before she puts on her
seventy dollar mock turtleneck from Banana Republic.
The husbands just get mad, it's their jobs paying for the house the
washer the dryer the SUV and they fight and he might become
the party of the first all because he had to say
Jesus met a sandwhichApon a sunny day, river bank wayJesus met a sandwhich11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Jesus stood there, sleeping gracefully
but along came a mexican, smelling of rum
"get out or stay out" spoke the mexican man
Jesus rose to his feet, hair waving in the wind
"never be I move, or shall death be yours", jeesus hissed
"oh that is it fool, prepare to be none" the mexican was confident
Jeeus bitchslapped the mexican witha fatal blow
"if you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen" shouted jeesus
But jeesus just remembered, he was just on peyote and all this could be a hallucination
Jeesus was righ, it wasn't a mexican, it was a sandwhich
KIDS, SAY NO TO DRUGS, DONT DO WHAT JEESUS DID!!
Sobek TF StoryWhen the reign of the Gods of Egypt came to an end, they did not disappear from the world of the mortals. They in fact simply went to their own tombs when their time was up. Just about every one of these tombs was hidden from mortal eyes, successfully.Sobek TF Story8 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Save for one, which would change the world in the year 2000, the year everyone on earth feared. Even if the precious computers didnt fail the way everyone thought they would, something worse (Or maybe even beneficial) would return to the Earth it had left thousands of years ago.
Back in 1999, a tomb was discovered. Surprisingly, it was found very nearby the Nile, in an area where it was known to flood. Two major things amazed Egyptologists about it; that it had no mummy inside, and, despite being so close to the Nile River, it showed no evidence of flooding. The standing water found inside the tomb was expected to have been there ever since its construction who-knows-how-many dynasties ago?
In early 2000, one Egyptologist named Eri
The Halloween giftPROLOGUE: A good costumeThe Halloween gift7 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
That day there was a lot of people in the shop, since Halloween was very close, everyone wanted to buy a great costume to impress their friends. A normal shopkeeper should be happy about this kind of situation right? But no, Drethan wasn't happy, because there were almost 30 people in the shop, but no one had a desire strong enough to make his special costumes work. He was making a lot of money, but he didn't care about money, he wanted knowledge, knowledge that these people couldn't offer. Just when he thought that the whole day was a waste of his precious time, someone walked in the shop...a very unexpected person.
I walked in the shop, and immediately all the people in there turned and looked at my arm. I didn't care anymore if people looked at me in that way. You know, my arm is made of wood....yes, I lost my arm after a little accident with a chainsaw, and the doctors putted this fake arm on me, just to make me look normal...how ironic.
Drethan looked at t
What Happend after the VerdictAuto escorted Magici-N to the Repair Ward doors, and waited for them to open. As soon as they did, he stoped at the Diagnostics door, and turned to the former entertainment bot."You will be restrained here."What Happend after the Verdict6 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
R-reastrined..why?..I dont remember the Captain mentioning......
Until you are assigned to a task to help someone, you will be detained. he motioned for the robot arms to restrain him with anti-grav belts.
Magici-N looked unsure but did not resist.
H-how long do you think that will take?
Auto looked down at him, his eyes coldly reflecting the anger and turmoil bubbling within,"We will see.
Magici-Ns matrix feeling queasy bit bottom lip so um..what sort of tasks will I be assigned then...
Whatever is needed, but.. Auto grabbed Magici-n brusquely, so that their noses nearly touch. The rage becomes more evident in his features. "I'm going to tell you something first." His emotions were very clear, and burned vivi
The Vampire Survival Guide, v1The Vampire Survival Guide, v111 years ago in Spiritual & Occult More Like This
Section I: What are Vampires?
Vam-pire \vam-pÓr\ n 1: a night-wandering bloodsucking ghost 2: a person who preys on other people; esp.: a woman who exploits and ruins her lover 3: vampire bat
There is some nonfiction in that definition, and yet there is much fiction. Myth and reality. To survive the vampire holocaust, we must first understand exactly what it is we are fleeing. A vampire is, in simplest form, a human affected by a horrible dementia-inducing blood disease. These poor souls have, by some means, been infected by a disease similar to anemia, in which blood is short in quantity. Some symptoms are also similar to anemia (Paleness, irregular sleep conditions.) But the similarity ends there.
It was long speculated that the disease, which has been dubbed Neuroplasma (due to its eventual psychological effect), was a virus, but the theory was later discarded after recorded autopsies confirmed that it was indeed caused by an unidentifiable infectious agent
C.O.T.C- Unwanted: Chapter 4Chapter 4C.O.T.C- Unwanted: Chapter 45 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"I can't ever become a warrior, can't I?" Brokenflight hissed bitterly, not looking up as Roseglade walked in. Roseglade was taken aback by the fact that he already knew. "Well, you can help guard the clan and and, you can help with the elders" Roseglade replied quickly. Just then, she had realized she had said the wrong thing. "Help the elders? I'm young, I'm not old, I am not even an apprentice, and I'm a warrior! A warrior, you hear me?" Brokenflight spat angrily, and with the flick of his tail, he buried his face into his paws.
"Just let him be, he'll get over it soon, I'm sure we can find something for him to do" Dappleflight replied, giving Roseglade an understanding glance. "I should have been there," commented Roseglade. "What? This is not your fault, it was just an accident, now you go outside and give him some rest" soothed Dappleflight.
Nodding, Roseglade walked slowly out of the den, she was just in time to see Orangekit run up to her. "Is Brokenflight a
Grim PenanceGrim Penance11 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It was raining, pouring like a Biblical event on the sinners. Rain hit my face, slid off the edges of my hat in waves. It felt Biblical, certainly. I wanted to turn my eyes upward and let the water beat twin holes into my brain. I imagined I'd feel it happen with a child's look of wonder pointed at the clouds. A stupid, silly grin too.
The day I met Jack Silver, and by association Conrad Reynolds, was memorable not for the God-wrath behind thunderclaps, but for the way it smelled. Old. Musty. Missing that rebirth in air composition I associated with storms. So I blame the smell for the geriatric way I crossed the street and approached the door of Jack Silver on a miserable Wednesday morning. Jack had the sort of ass backwards name that had inspired Chandler to invent noir. It deserved mocking and admiration in equal doses.
He also lived in a shit-hole of an apartment, but at least it was out of th
The Battle Between BladesChapter One: Destruction of Bargate Prison!, An Old Hero Discovers An Ancient God!The Battle Between Blades8 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Dark icy waves crashed against the formidable ice walls of Bargate prison, torrents of rain lashing the fortifications of the ancient building, and thunder streaked across the midnight sky. Magic crackled through the night sky too, but there was no one around able to sense it. In the guard room at Bargate prison the night crew were once again arguing about who had to check on the prisoners, and as the same on many nights it had started with a game of blackjack. "Fine, the lot of you shut up, i'll bloody go" Boris shouted , grabbing his red coat and slamming the door on his way out, his aging legs running the distance to cell block one, he tried his best to keep the rain from going down his neck but some things just always happen, his face grimacing at the freezing cold droplet of water edging its way down his back, he nodded at the few sentries on the way down stopping to slap the newbie John on the back
Rudolph: Reindeer of TragedyRudolph, the red-nosed reindeerRudolph: Reindeer of Tragedy9 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
had a very shiny nose
and if you ever saw it
you would even say it glows.
Ok, so we've basically set up Rudolph here as the Protagonist. We've done the polite thing and pointed out his freakish abnormality as soon as possible. Also i'm not a fan of the whole "if you ever saw it" line, are they telling us what to think here? Do they give us no credit to make a judgement of this aesthetic problem?
All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names
What names?! Nose face was my best attempt in less than three minutes. If Rudolph is this thin skinned, he'd have offed himself long ago or spend most of his time putting black makeup on his nose and being all Emo on Myspace. [oddly enough, this line is stuck in italics]
they never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.
Thanks for informing us that he's a "poor" reindeer, as if there was ever a situation where being called names and being isolated was ever a fun thing. What are
the Humans have Dialogue, i-the Humans have Dialogue, i8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
her and I,
we are stimulating
to an intellect
when her tongue
becomes to me
an anole's one:
such a long
very keen with
"well, then tell,
please, what happens
when irrational or illogical desire,
hyper-transformation and market
grow faster and more complex
than culture can?"
begins to thrive
on irrationality as
a deeply burrowing
but limbless lizard.
for a time
a rush of rain
will have a mess
of our analogical
and oh, the markets,
many indiscernible markets
make a distinction
and adverts, never
make a distinction
never a one
the ego a
Memeplex I-Memeplex I8 years ago in Open More Like This
[Any human who is dutiful toward the dogmas of contemporary prosperity knows nothing absolute about survival, and thus shall be driven toward his or her solitary breed of madness so long as survival is allowed under this convention.]
The irony is tragic:
six billion "citizens"
pasted to a warm sphere
for the sun.
[a. Language has suffered from our inability to understand that reality is a chemically formulated and delusional sequence of events. Reality for us is merely a concentration of perception and only exists so long as we are a part of that reality, which we, singularly, create of our own desires.
b. Certain words that we use do not have any rational value except to talk to other humans in perspective, and surely they have no absolute value in the natural world and the environment it has manifested, nor does it consider the perspective of nature. This will pay a large part to our extinction.
PassengerPassenger8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She wrote me:
This is the time of all things read;
the time of books, clean hands, straw dogs,
shared looks. This is the time
that finds the time to settle down;
to open that smile with enormous plans;
to pound on metal rolled with rust;
to lie when lovers lie, alone, quiet,
in kitsch and style.
She wrote me:
Death for some is a careless cat,
one that lacks a voiceand love
and never plays chess.
But that is not my choice.
You see, I prefer the quieter sort;
the kind of death that stalks one
through shapeless blur, a caress of trust
and a lack of breathnow three, now two
a sweet bluff and a face that looks
of you, only that's not enough.
I remember the films during which you cry,
and the way you hide it, fiddling
with your change to make your eyes avoid
the two mice riddling some pocket full of holes.
I remember the nights you tried to pray.
You clasped your hands and dreamt up God
and what he may or may not do. And I,
following November, came with you.
CrayonsLife is like a box of crayons.Crayons7 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
At birth, you're given a great big box of them to share and add color to your life.
Some colors get used more than others.
Sometimes, a crayon gets broken. A Bright color gets snapped in half and tossed in the garbage can, never to be returned. Sometimes you keep coloring. Sometimes you can't. That color was important.
Sometimes a crayon is gained, shared between two people. That color might be just perfect, and works great! Other times it's a different shade, but it will make do.
But, there is always one color left in the box.
It's normally unused until death. It's used to frame the picture. To add the final border to the coloring board of life.
Some people use it. They color onto other's pictures with it. Sometimes their own.
They use it to scribble out portions of the picture. Sometimes the portion isn't that important.
Sometimes it is.
Sometimes there are multiple blacks in the box when you open it for the day.. Sometimes there's only one, or i
For You...For You...10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don't you know
She bleeds for you,
You say and do?
Don't you know
You hold her heart?
Can't you see her
She hurts just to feel your touch
She lives her life in denial
You treat her like shit, and she loves you so much
She bleeds only to make you smile
Can't you see
The pain she's in?
Your heart is all
She wants to win
And for you, she keeps on trying
And believing all your lies
Don't you know that she is dying?
Can't you see it in her eyes?
She falls just to make you laugh
She breaks just to make you love her
She'd do anything to be with you
But you're never even thinking of her
You taught her exactly
How to be
You taught her how
To make you happy
But she'll never be good enough
No matter how hard she's tries
And she'll live for you, you'll own her soul
until the day she dies
Chelsea's SmileForever scarredChelsea's Smile6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You have cut me
ear to ear
just so you
can see me
smile this way.
How can you do this?
I thought you loved me...
And yet you
beat me and
kill me and
these hideous marks...
ill have you know im scaredi lied, i lied, a thousand times i lied.ill have you know im scared6 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
i don't know who this story is about. i don't know if it's an 'i,' 'you,' 'he,' or 'she' story. i'll probably pick three and rotate them. because when you think about it, doesn't it happen to us all?
i was found dead on the road. i hear i was contorted and bloody, only the blood wasn't my own, and i died simply because i was afraid. i always thought that was so fucking ironic- i was fucking scared to death.
and every time she's walking down the street, the girl who might've been me, the girl whose blood i was found in though she's also dead, i cringe. because she hears people crowing about amusement parks and how the upside-down roller coaster scared them to death, and she thinks of me. she's dead, but she still thinks of me. somehow, i feel loved.
he said he was a policeman. really, he was a rapist. he, you, i. it doesn't matter, everyone is a rapist. everyone thinks they want sex, but nobody does. it's too personal. it's not forever