Gisborne's Leather TrousersGuy of Gisborne in his chamberGisborne's Leather Trousers5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Sat alone and wrote a letter
Wrote a letter to his tailor
Wrote it on the finest parchment
In his best and neatest writing;
Tailor, make for me some trousers
Flattering and stylish trousers
Like no others seen in Sherwood
Make them tight and figure-hugging
Make them black and slightly scary
Make them snug and rather shiny
And, to make them extra kinky,
Tailor, make them out of leather.
Make them of the softest leather
So they do not chafe unduly
In uncomfortable places.
Make me too a matching jacket
With unnecessary buckles
Bits and straps and hanging laces
To suggest a hint of bondage,
And then, to complete the image,
Make for me a pair of gauntlets
With, for no apparent reason,
Many studs and shiny buckles.
If I am to be a villain
And to win the hearts of fangirls
I must have the right apparel
To accentuate my assets
And to woo my Marihaha,
Make her see what she is missing,
Hanging out with rustic yokels
With no style or sense of fashion.