The TruthThe Earth is a rhombus.The Truth8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's corners are hidden by mountain ranges,
It's sides are covered in oceans and deserts,
But you can find them
If you dig far enough.
What you know of as 'stars'
Are really unused OPEN signs
Of businesses that have gone under:
Enron is the north star,
Orion's belt is made up of
Oh, and dinosaurs never went extinct;
They just learned to swim.
At the bottom of the deepest seas,
The stegosauri graze, while
The T-rex chase the cuttlefish.
And you were probably told that
Humans are the most advanced species,
When really, it's the Porcupine.
They have a spare brain
In each quill.
By the way,
The internet really was
Invented by Al Gore.
The truth is
everything is better when you're a liar.
MemoirsMemoirs9 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
"I assure you, it's no joke."
"But… you're a fish."
"I'm aware of that."
"It's a rather long story, really..."
"6 minutes and 47 seconds."
"I thought fish only had a 3 second memory."
"That's goldfish. I'm a puffer."
"I see. So?"
"Are you going to tell me?"
"You still want to know?"
"Well, alright then."
"It all started exactly a week ago."
"To the minute. I was living happily in a pet store with my friends, minding my own business, when in walks this snot-nosed little brat. She takes one look at me, points, and screams that I'm the one she wants."
"So she bought you?"
"No, her father bought me after she threw a tantrum. They took me home with them right then… and nothing was ever the same."
"She tried to drown me."
"She tried to drown me. I survived, though."
"It was a close call."
The Newest FadThe Newest Fad8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Get yourself pierced
straight in the vein, please.
I'd like you better with
One night stands,
a two-woman man,
work triple overtime;
gamble away every dime.
Only the realest TV,
"What will they eat?"
Another brain cell lost.
Havent you heard?
the newest fad.
How cool are you?