==================== Cappys Random Rant ==================== Might as well recall my favorite bit of Disney absurdity. I am an absolute fantard for classic Disney animation. You know, their indie stuff before they sold-out and went all mainstream. What, these jokes not translating well to text? I love the mastery of animation that people were able to do with a pencil and a protractor. I also squeal with delight when I stumble upon Disney short cartoons. The House Of Mouse, conversely (that means opposite!), should make the ghost of Walt wiz malt vinegar.
One of my favorite short cartoons happens to be the most politically incorrect. As if God Himself selected it for my viewing, I saw this clip in the Disney Hotel during one of my familys trips to Disney Land. It stars Donald Duck and his never-really-discussed-what-side-of-the-family-theyre-from nephews. The nephews decide to buy their Uncle some cigars from the store, as a birthday present. One may want to ask how is it that minors are allowed to buy cigars from a store BUT NO! YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO NOT QUESTION THE MAGIC THIS SETS UP.
Donald, absolute batcase and paranoid the world is out to get him, is angrily staring out his window with pervert-quality binoculars. Thinking that the boys have been too quiet to not be plotting anything, he spies into their tree house. And lo! Donald sees the nephews laughing and holding up the cigars. Donalds eyes glow with that classic murderous rage we all know and love but for an instantonly to be replaced with that devilish grin only the most sadistic of brains could synapse.
One of the youths closes the lid to the stogies and chirps I bet Uncle Donald will love his birfday pres and Donald bursts from the trap door like Jason from Crystal Lake in the Friday The Thirteenth movies. YOU BOYS WANNA BE MEN AND SMOKE EH?!?! The nephews pupils constrict as their instinctive fight-or-flight mechanism kicks in. The shades are pulled down and thick smoke billows from the cracks in the wooden tomb. Kids are seen trying to literally jump out of the two-story window, and Donald yanks them back in, cackling like the effing devil.
Carcinogens clear, green faced innocents are unconscious on the floor. Feeling quite confident that he somehow imposed a life lesson by terrorizing people, Donald picks up the empty box to throw it away. A little piece of paper flitters to the ground. He picks it up, only to read To the worlds best Uncle Donald, We love you! Overcome with grief, Donald wails Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no
That ends the best cartoon ever.
==================== Cappys Rockin Rendition ==================== Back to watercolorin. Ive heard about the Disney horror stories, how even Congress had to bend to Disneys whim over their vague interpretation of peoples intellectual property. So before they send their crack team of lawyers after me (whom I assume constitutes Jesus, Buddha, and Christopher Walken), I hope they realize I like Disney and should not try to have this removed and then kill my cat before my eyes.
I was inspired to draw this right after watching a commercial for the Jungle Book DVD. Didnt I see a commercial some odd years ago threatening they were gonna lock it up in the Disney Vault forever in a couple weeks, so you NEEDED to purchase it now! Indeed, almost every movie thats ever been put in the Vault gets pulled out at some point, which led me to wonder whats the point of the Disney Vault if people disavow its do not touch policy? How do you get away with saying something will be gone forever, and then bring it back in two years? I think they were inspired by Chers fifty farewell tours.
Also, I think its important for artists to point out if they used references. I cant tell you how many times Ive told someone, I think you show some great original talent with your character designs, they come off very professional! only to hear Thanks but I traced one of my many yaoi mangas LOL!!!!! Strike that. The first rule is to never tell people you have gay porno in your room. The second rule is to mention you used a reference so that all people get due credit. I typed disney goofy and disney minnie into Google Images, and with my virus-plagued comp, only looked at the first page of thumbnails. This could have made a great portfolio piece to send Disney if I hadnt just made them my enemy.
Random note: I applied the Disney i' swivel dot signature to add some ambiance to my work. Am I the only one who thought the swivel looked like a bird skull? -The Its Goofy Time!! Cappy
For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen 03 (linework), discontinued Crayola Educational watercolors.
Teehee~ I am so happy with the way that this picture came out~ ^0^V I really liked this sketch that my friend LadyNyaruInfinity did and i asked if i could color it~ so she sent me da sketch and i just colored it to a point that even surprised me~ This is a Promotional kinda thing for a story that she is going to be doing~ a story that revolves around the Mario Bros and her very own original character, Lady Paprika~ (the princess in red)
hahaha~ im so happy with this~ i think im slowly finding out what im good at~ ^-^
Buenos dias my art buddies! Your Cappy spent the New Year with the family at Disneyland. But his brain never takes a vacation, and I wanted to add some comedy to the happiest place on earth.
This idea was inspired while I was shopping at Disneyland. You know those alarm clocks with Mickey that have his arms as the hands of the clock? Yeah, cute. So I innocently bring the item up to the cashier and ask her the price tag on this little item.
Are are you going to give me a shoulder massage after this purchase? Because otherwise there is no reason to charge that price! You almost feel like youre in some seedy black market with how inflated the prices are there.
So I was en route to return the item to the shelf when I realized something. I had picked up the MINNIE version of the clock. I then realized that Mickey and Minnie were pretty much the same character model. Except in that Kingdom Hearts gameis there a reason Minnies head was the size of a beach ball?
So thats what inspired this picture at least I THOUGHT so!
When I came up with the title, I had a surge of suppressed memories; it was kinda like in the first Resident Evil movie where that guy remembered he was supposed to be the main villain and goes retarded crazy. The House Of Mouse was this stupid idea where they took all the classic Disney cartoon shorts and reanimate them with inferior computer drawing techniques.
Sometimes they came up with original ideas for skits.
I want you to imagine your first stuffed animal from your childhood. Now, imagine Abraham Lincoln setting that stuffed animal on fire. And laughing. And flipping you off. And making out with your Aunt Karen. Okay, you get the point that these efforts decimated your childhood memories of these Disney characters.
The one skit that had me jaw-droppingly in a stupor after my brain shut down out of terror IS THIS:
Mickey and Donald were doing something idiotic in the house and they knock over a picture collage. Mickey starts to panic and laments to Donald that these best friend pictures of Minnie and Daisy meant the world to Minnie. SO CHECK IT: Mickey and Donald DRESS UP in Minnie and Daisys clothes and reenact all the picture shots. Their drag show was foiled because Donald walked into a store and was the millionth customer. Minnie and Daisy open their morning newspaper to see themselves winning a prize.
I hope this was the single skit that got the House Of Mouse condemned.
-The Youd Be Drinking Two Beers Simultaneously If You Realized You Were Sleeping With Your Clone Cappy
For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen 03 (linework), Prismacolor markers.
Buenos dias my art buddies! Your Cappy spent the New Year with the family at Disneyland. But his brain never takes a vacation, and I wanted to add some comedy to the happiest place on earth.
Something tells me Goofy doesnt really talk in abstracts. Well, what you see in the pic is what you get, I thought it was a cute joke. Im also proud of the fact that I freebased the character designs. And upon writing it, Im sure freebase isnt the appropriate term but I feel smart for having it in my vocabulary.
Since Im done with that description, Ill dump all the random thoughts about the Magic Kingdom here.
Its been YEARS since Ive been to a theme park. Luckily Im the concentrated stereotype of man, in that I have the power to utterly zone out and think of NOTHING when in long lines or trips that feel like the frickin Oregon Trail. So thoughts of the long lines for rides werent really daunting to me.
One thing I totally forgot was young couples. When youre single, young couples with their innocence and their doe eyes and their thinking that they will be together FOREVAR makes you honestly consider ripping your own ears off. To top it off, I realized I was stuck in line and had to listen to forty-five minutes of THIS:
This line is long.
Oh mah gawd you are SO right! This line IS long! You are SOO smart!
*kiss kiss slobber*
I had to fight the urge to turn around and tell the girl of the duo, I bet your boyfriend doesnt even have a job, thinks hes gonna be a rock star when he gets that break, and hell leave you for your hotter friend Kate in seven months.
Despite couples acting like moths that always found me in line, I had a good time. Somebody asked me if I had fun at Disneyland, and I said I think its impossible to have a bad time at Disneyland. Of course, a Negative Nancy had to chime in the conversation with Yes you can! It could be hot! That would ruin it!! Oh come now, you can be irritated for a little while, but its DISNEYLAND. You learn about Disney and how they crush individual artists and hold copyright laws by the nads so that they can artistically interpret other peoples stories but man. When you see little kids creating the future nostalgic memories that we remember your heart does smile. Just a little bit.
Expect some more of this stuff. Isnt this just like being at Disneyland?!
-The Her-Yuck Cappy
For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen 05 (linework), Prismacolor markers.
Okay, retarded pokemon title with subsequent retarded pokemon joke was pretty much a setup so I could promote this retarded Youtube video [link] This, my friends, is the essence of comedic timing.
Have you noticed that, despite it being volume 28 in the comic series or episode 137 of the animated series, theres still the scenario of when Generic Thug B sees super hero, fires gun at super hero, runs away from super hero, super hero defies the laws of physics to capture Generic Thug B, and Generic Thug B questions super hero as to Who the hell are you?! Of course, this is just a setup for the hero to say something rockin like Im your worst nightmare! or Im the one that takes out the trash in this city!
In reality, the super hero should be super ticked Whatre you, dyslexic? Here, look at the newspaper right here. IM ON THE FRONT PAGE. Im on every newspapers front page. Oh hey, lets check whats on television and OH MY GOD, IM THE LEAD STORY AGAIN--IN HIGH DEFINITION. Look chimpo, you even bought your son the comic books based on me!
I dunno, Ive become pretty interested in Batman as of late. So far, Id say that the only two comic book heroes that have intrigued me with their movie magic makeover have been Batman and Iron Man. Every other one can go get hit by a truck with their first movie of I have a love interest established on a shaky foundation second movie of My love interest totally blew me off because she didnt realize what it entails to date a super hero and shes done gone and is dating a doctor/the main villain and the final movie of What a surprise, dating a doctor is just like dating a super hero since theyre on call 24/7; Ive gone roid rage crazy due to some villainous scheme, which reminded my love interest of her abusive daddy, and in good Freudian fashion has come crawling back and well get married!
Really, Im surprised its taken them this long to envision a dystopian Batman. I mean, Ive been a raging nerd fan of the old Batman: The Animated Series that ran on FOX when they used to show quality animation. The character designs were phenomenal and wonderfully fleshed out, and the plots were sometimes mind-blowing (The Clayface episodes were something tragic on my young psyche).
The Batman Begins movie had me pleasantly surprised, if I ignore the beginning quarter with Batman being trained by a bunch of Caucasian ninjas in an ice fort. And despite the lack of absurdly surreal movie moments graciously provided by the previous movie franchise; especially when it culminated into having my governor doing California proud with these Oscar-worthy lines [link]
About the art. I wanted to mimic a comic booky shading style, though ironically I was too lazy to go online to actually LOOK at how they do their crotch calligraphy. I think it turned out fine.
I was inspired to create this because of the animated movie Batman: Gotham Knight that was released as an aside to the Dark Knight movie. I got real excited when I saw the commercial for a COLLABORATIVE-SIX-EPISODE-INTERLOCKING-ANIME-STORY-THAT-WILL-ROCK-YOUR-CANDY-COLORED-WORLD-AND-REPAINT-IT-A-BADASS-SHADE-OF-BARBEQUE-SAUCE-AND-HEROIN!!
If it sounds familiar then youd be correct; the anime animation departments responsible were the exact same ones responsible for the Animatrix, so I was expecting Animatrix 2: Batman Boogaloo! Sadly, no boogaloo. I was impressed with the art, but the just because you throw a reference at the beginning or end of the episode plot doesnt make it an impressive interlocking story.
The only thing that blew my mind was that, half way thru, the animation department turned Bruce Wayne into Bruce Wang: bishi billionaire and archetype yaoi love interest. I kid you not ladies and gentlemadams, youll know the exact point when your brain will seriously ask your eyes Is is Batman about to seduce a seventeen-year-old Russian gangster? -The Dont Come A Knockin When The Buttmobiles A Rockin Cappy For the copycats: micron pigma pen 03 (linework), prismacolor markers, sharpie marker. References: quick google image search of batman.
I decided that with a 3DS and a WiiU game, they could have seperate, but linkable, rosters. The 3DS roster would focus largely on handhelds, and the WiiU roster would focus largely on consoles. Yuppppppppdated. Removed Bowser Jr. and Toon Link. Toad: Seniority over Junior, Severe popularity, not just in japan, but world-wide, really. Lots of moveset potential, and I thought of a gimmick for him!
Paper Mario: Majorly popular sub-series, lots of moveset potential, Mario RPGs need to be repped, and a new 4th game coming soon for 3DS. Yes, it's for 3DS, but the other 3 games are on console, so he goes here.
& Dixie Kong: Yes, I turned Diddy into a joint character. Mostly because that's a major part of the DKC games, is the tag-team thing. Also, I didn't want a billion trillion Mario side characters; adding Mona & Paper Mario is already a lot. Anyway, Dixie would not ruin Diddy's moves either; the Banana Peel throw seemed really thrown together, and doesn't really seem like it belongs. It's also useless or spammy, depending on how you play.
Zoroark: Does anyone doubt this? At all? Especially with Victini on 3DS?
Meowth: Must I spell this out? HE. IS. HERE. BECAUSE. OF. THE. ANIME. PERIOD. HEHEHEH, PERIOD. LIKE THE BODILY FUNCTION. ALL CAPS IS COOL RIGHT GUYS?
Waddle Dee: I'm calling it now; Kirby Wii is going to be grounds for a new Kirby character in Smash 4. It's looking like Waddle Dee right now. I'd imagine his moveset would by like that of a theoretical 'ability kirby', who has a movepool based on the abilities Kirby gets in his games. Of course, his main weapon is the spear, but he can also use beam, suplex, parasol, mirror, plasma, laser, the list goes on. Maybe UFO or Crash or Mic as a Final Smash?
Ganon: Hey look, a choice people will deem 'unlikely' and 'what is wrong with you' and 'why would you do such a dumb thing'. Well, if Link can get Toon Link, why not Ganondorf getting Ganon? I SERIOUSLY doubt clonage between the two, they're dractically different. Ganon is the more recurring form by far.
Ghirahim: Yes, this guy has a name. Unless the Skyward Sword person turns out to be more important(Unlikely) and more likely to recur(More unlikely), this main villain-bro here is our best choice.
Takamaru: Basically sister game to Zelda, Nazo no Murasamejo did moderately well in Japan; enough for Takamaru to get into both Captain Rainbow and Samurai Warriors 3(Both only in Japan). Also, he's more of a Samurai than Goroh.
Micaiah: The newest Console Fire Emblem featured her on the cover, looking more important than Ike. She's also a female, would have a unique playstyle by using light magic, and is a popular character altogether. I see no reason not to include her.
Ridley: Is there ANY reason for me to explain this?
Dark Samus: Metroid has been neglected for too long. 3 characters is more than reasonable. D. S. here is most likely after Ridley I think.
Saki: Sakurai likes him. The games are a cult hit. I personally don't like the choice, but I was running out of characters.
Porky: Lucas is too handheld-exclusive. Porky is a recurring Motherbound villain, and since the other one happens to be less of a being and more of a concept, I went with Porky. He'd ride in the Heavily Armored Mech from the end of Earthbound, which is certainly reasonably sized. He'd probably be the heaviest character in the game, being practically immovable in Metal form.
Mii: I like it about as much as you, but Nintendo loves these crazy things, they have a series of their own, and they've been on the past 3 Nintendo devices(Wii, 3DS and WiiU). They pretty much have a 99% chance.
Little Mac: Punch-Out!! is a Popular, well-selling franchise, that is completely console exclusive. It's also a boxing series, which means he has experience fighting. Some people say 'all he can do is punch!', but why not turn that into a moveset? Draw from other boxers; Give him Aran Ryan's Glove-On-A-Rope for a projectile; Bald Bull's Bull Rush for a Side B; His own Star Uppercut for recovery; etc., etc.
Villager: Animal Crossing really needs a character. I suppose Nook could work, but I really think the MAIN CHARACTER is better. If you had the newest game, you could transfer your character and play as them! And you could be Male or Female, in much the same way that Wario switches costumes.
Laughing Dog: Yes yes, A silly choice. I have never gotten a valid reason why this well-known gaming icon, who represents early Nintendo software and the Zapper, shouldn't be in.
Mega Man: The most iconic, Nintendo related 3rd party character not yet in Smash. Sakurai has already said he might put a capcom character in SSB, too.
I promised someone I wouldn't do this type of things again but the temptation was so big, well, now you see it. Peach, I'd suggest you hide your dresses in the most secret place you can ever imagine, for mushrooms' sake! Happy Halloween, guys Hope you get sick from eating so much candy
==================== Cappys (Not So) Random Rant ==================== Time once again for Miser Cappys Lets Bash Anime! Proudly sponsored by the Anti Enormous Sweat Drop Foundation: no pore could ever create perspiration of such magnitude!
Before booking your next flight to Tokyo because its the place where your favorite gay angel yaoi anime is produced, you might want to study the culture of the people who make it. From all accounts, it seems that mainstream Japan is just as embarrassed at otaku as much as we are. In the hierarchy of irreprehensible Japanese behavior, they rank the following: Murder Rape Otaku Rickshaw driver Fact of the matter is, Hideyuki will loathe your cat ear hoody.
Japan, despite their bazonker cartoons, videogames, and television shows, houses some of the most CONSERVATIVE populace. Except maybe for that used panty vending machine thats still kinda grody. Have you heard of the JET program? From my uninterested understanding, it takes Americans over to Japan to teach students English. I know of two people in the program, one was shocked that she had to explain the concept of sarcasm to students. The other person in the program talked about what a culture shock it is to the east; I guess watching anime with schoolgirls in it isnt a proper documentary.
American mannerisms just wont fly over there, and my friend has had to bite his tongue when reading their history books or not be so brash or outspoken when talking. One example that blew me away was when he was teaching the concepts of break and broke. He picked up a pencil and told his students Im going to break the pencil. After snapping the pencil like a dishonorable chopstick, he exclaimed I have broke the pencil. The assistant teacher went and complained to the principal, stating he was trying to incite violence.
In summation, things to remember on your trip to Japan: Cool: unwashed underwear, tentacle rape, not acknowledging the existence of the previous two. Not cool: acting like an anime douche, murder of writing instruments, hoodies.
==================== Cappys Rockin Rendition ==================== Ive talked in depth about Fullmetal Alchemist in previous joke art about em, so check those two out [link] [link]
Okay, fine. So Ive broken down and began reading the Fullmetal Alchemist manga. Dont start patting yourselves on the back, I was perfectly happy having watched the Fullmetal Alchemist anime instead of reading the manga (except for the giant middle finger of the story continues IN THE HEARTS OF THE FANS of an ending). Comments on my other fanarts stated I needed to read the manga. Cappy needs to do a lot of things, like eat more veggies, but it aint happening! Upon looking up the manga, I found out that the manga was created by a pretty talented woman. Being more impressed that a girl was drawing ruff n tuff comics as opposed to page after page of all-male school boys talking about their feelings, I felt that was unique enough to warrant a read.
Id forgotten how interesting the characters were. Its actually a fun read, and most of the anime episodes are blown past in a couple of pages. Also of interest is that the manga branches off drastically from the anime pretty quickly; apparently the author just summarized the story to SquarEnix and they did whatever they wanted. The manga is still being written, and Im having a genuine blast hooking back up with the memorable cast.
Also: the elricest doesnt translate to text!
About the art. If youll recall, in both the anime and manga, Lieutenant Hawkeye ends up adopting a stray puppy. Thats the puppy. I had to dig thru the volumes I read in order to find what it looked like. My fans demand accurate free art. The joke was inspired when I found myself cleaning up the back yard after my dog and thinking to myself Geez, its like Santas workshop in your colon.
Stop! Tangent Time! You know what irks me? Grown adultswithout kidswho want to own a puppy. No, you NEED a dog. As you age, your brain begins to harden, and adults find it hard to go back to that soft naivety it was like as a kid. I have seen adults try to rationally hold a conversation with puppies, Whyd you tear mommys bed sheets? You know those are mommys favorite sheets, you have to be more considerate. All the puppy knows is that by the tone of your voice its not going to get a treat. You may want a puppy, but you need a dog, one thats preprogrammed with tricks and obedience, and has most of that baby energy expunged from it. Youre thirty-three and go to a chiropractor, you cant possibly give a puppy the attention it deserves.
Also. Its a dog. Hit it.
Thats right, Cappy believes that animals should get corporal punishment. Catch the pet in the act, smack its head, and soon the dog will associate an activity with punishment. I dont pull out the brass knuckles, my animals know were still buddies, but I can read on their faces when they know theyre in trouble. -The My First Dookie Picture. My Mommys Gonna Be So Proud! Cappy
References: Fullmetal Alchemist manga to get the style right.