MyLittleFishThey said you were like a fish-MyLittleFish9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
spending your life in the depths only to resurface in a world you couldn't breathe in.
And I always thought
you were a wonderful prelude
to a damning life.
Now cover girl, you don't cover up anything.
Your makeup does not hide your flaws as you walk to the ocean and drown yourself.
The beach is your last runway, the lightening your last flash.
You yelled "Call this one 'Hollywood'" over your shoulder.
[He told me you do not know how to swim.]
"He's so handsome."
Yeah. He can't keep his hands off other girls and then some.
The boy took away the air you couldn't afford to lose.
He stomped on your lungs when you overheard him-
"She is the balloons that touch the ceiling at a birthday party.
After a few days you will want to throw her away."
Your smile crashed in the same way that the waves do.
You pulled yourself back and felt your
hearts.I think its funny how everyone draws hearts but no one bothers to fill them in.hearts.7 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
So theyre always empty?
A pause, and then, sadly: So theyre like yours.
I wish I could fill your heart in for you. I have a black pen, do you think itll help any?
When I say hearts, what do you think of?
They make things run.
But they die.
Some are rechargeable.
And most arent.
My heart gets lonely, some days. It feels like its the only star in the sky. It misses you, sometimes.
But no one was listening.
An AfterthoughtI can still smell youAn Afterthought7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in my hair, when I
turn my head. And
I can still taste you
on my lips. And
when I close my
eyes I can see
you there. And
I hate it.
a boy i used to knowlanky with long dark hair; i thought he was the most beautiful thing in the world and even though he denied it, i knew he was just being modest. sometimes i would let him stick his hands up my shirt and touch my ribs. he'd slide his long fingers up and down each one, reminding me of how thin i am. i often forget.a boy i used to know5 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
i liked it when he touched me, but that was short lived and it was already too late to tell him to stop. it was like he didn't understand the meaning of the word "no" but i could forgive it because the mistakes he made were so honest.
"what would you do if i died?" he asked.
"i would be sad," was all i said and he looked disappointed.
today his hair is short and his eyes show a change. today i realized that he is the type of boy that all the teenage girls write about and it makes me feel pathetic in more ways than one.
he's been my inspiration for too long and it's time for me to move on because he's gone.
he's been gone for a long time.
romancynical.a crush is but aromancynical.7 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
feeling of attraction and
doesn't mean a thing.
Metahpors and SimilesI want to write something beautiful, and get carried away with metaphors and similes,Metahpors and Similes6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Because it's so close to the smile, I sometimes forget and my lips begin to curl,
But then I get a second glance and remember life's not that simple.
chasing a breeze - collab.you are reminiscent of wind.chasing a breeze - collab.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
silent, maybe a ghost
until you're screaming
through the cracks. i am silent
as the weight of you breaks me, like
a power line that's lost its magic.
you were always hard to handle,
to contain, we have more chance
of catching a breeze
than tying you down.
i jumped, parachute in hand, and
watched the colors of the world
fall with me, spinning and diving.
i prayed for you to fill my parachute
and keep me from crashing,
but you never did.
the colours blended
into one shade of red
as i hurtled to oblivion
and you chose just
the right moment
to be silent.
i'm left empty,
hollow. there is no music
left in me, no magic,
no feelings. there is only
the cold of my tears and
the holes in my bones, and i dream
of waking up.
can't destroy the night terrors
and the cold sweats.
dreaming can't trap your winds
or bring you to me again.
i beg, scream, whisper
until my voice is ripped
and my soul is dry,
but you are only silent.
my name.my name ismy name.7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
alyssa, and maybe it means
hold your breath or
chase the stars. maybe it is
that awkward shyness
of saying hello to someone
for the first time
or the warm feeling
from hugs and held hands.
maybe it means
maybe my wishes will come true,
someday or maybe
it is the sound of the wind
caressing leaves and the lullabies
of wind chimes, or maybe
it is the voice inside your head;
the shade of moonlight and
maybe 'alyssa' is a synonym
for hopeful and dreaming and
'full of life'. maybe it is the rush
in your ears while running,
the challenge of catching your breath again;
the music of wishing and the thrill
or maybe my name is just
and maybe it only means
Dear Self.Dear Self,Dear Self.7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Try killing loneliness with laughter.
And try sleeping off that broken heart.
When Day DiesMy hair falls out like a beautiful sin,When Day Dies8 years ago in Other More Like This
my head, completely naked
convenes with dawn and together they get drunk
They overlook themselves. They drop all their favorite words and do not
pick them up again.
Two heartbreaks later the heat handcuffs them;
together they murdered another day.
Noons skull, the many pieces
lay fractured on the sidewalk. Suburb love is dangerous.
Before ducking into the cruiser, my head peeks
at the rest of its childlike body standing on the curb, innocent.
My head is a scandalous extension of my neck,
the rest of me doesnt wave to it. We are not friends.
I watch my secrets ride away in a cop car, sirens wailing,
and they are so very sun burnt.
$$$they say words are cheap.$$$6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
[so mine must be worthless]
so how much would a fake apology cost me?
or maybe a second hand i love you?
they don't cost as much as the real ones, right?
[or do they come with a service fee?]
small toysshe's that uncaughtsmall toys7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
smoke in your teeth
and still feeling
that slow fall
and pull back
from snow globe skin
behind the walls
Downhill. Lose your Drive.MONDAYMONDAY.Downhill. Lose your Drive.9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i met him today.
i met you today-
the boy that will change my life.
my feet sink in this blindingly white carpet.
there is a trail of yellow flower petals winding it's way across the floor.
i would follow it, but i'm not sure what's at the end.
i throw away my nerves and thoughts and slowly step along the path.
it's you: you're the end.
I lay in the dark and wait for the part that you sing to me. When I called you my little songbird, you grinned boyishly and gave me a half hearted shove that caused me to laugh until I fell to the floor, holding my sides. You held my hands like we were playing london bridge and told me that this was f o r e v e r .
You pushed me into the pool, but I held your sleeve, causing you to tumble in after me. We laughed and tried to keep our heads above the surface. [You cannot float when you are dragging eachother down.] We floated perfectly. my.life.is.perfect.
learning to stand up straighti wish i were a brown haired girllearning to stand up straight9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with bangs too long and mismatched eyes
and braids so delicate that the upside-down
frayed ends brushed the clouds
making love to the hidden sun.
i wish i were a lonely girl, telling the stars
goodnight. rosy red cheeks and disfigured hands
that could only feel the snow.
but could touch everything.
i wish i were a dying girl, who loved evil
because it was real. and kissed the drunks goodbye.
who married broken hearts and gangly legs
and let the zoo animals free. i wish i knew i
wasn't real and i wasnt asleep
and that everyone forgot how to bleed.
i wish i never loved anything.
Good-bye"what's your favorite partGood-bye6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
about snow?" i ask.
you answer,"the fact that
there's never one solitary
snowflake. there are always
more, and they're always
i smile. "i like the snow angels
best. no matter how imperfect
they are, they're always
"like you." you said
you had always said that
you liked it when it
was so cold outside that it
would burn when you
caught snowflakes on your tongue.
i found you amazing, and
complex. it's too
bad i never got to spend
more time with you. your
presence was gone too
quickly, and now i'm lost
you never should have
gotten in that car, you knew
full well it was too icy
on the road to be driving.
before you left, you kissed me
and said,"i love you. i'll be back
i never thought that those
would be the last words you
would ever say to me
and here i am now
crying silently, trying to understand
why you were taken
so soon. were you so urgently
needed that God had to
cut dreams with scissors01'cut dreams with scissors6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
lying beneath the ceiling
you search for stars
but only see glow in the dark
when you first showed me
they reminded me of cracks in
i cut my dreams in half with scissors
would have something to
live for too
the scars on your chest are beautiful
red lines like highway dividers or
i have my stories and you
together we will watch as the lines
love is like birdi think im getting a bit too fidgetylove is like bird8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
staring silence onto walls again
looking through people,
ignoring flickers of recognition like goldfish picking at flakes
or my fingertips
im walking with an aim of nothing
i shudder at the words im supposed to be saying
like its supposed to supposed to
and i could eat my apathy with ribbons
splattering sugar on the cement
[i didnt buy them]
i collect--much too many a thing
i collect people
in my head
short films of them
it doesnt matter that reality lies to me with
black and white shades of grey turning everything into a big mess of purple
when i like you
black when i like you
black when i dont
and everything is purple anyhow
i need no glasses to tell you i dont see the same colours as you
but i know you
and i know you dont know me
i never knew you
im suffering from high doses of pleasantry
the easiness between us, is only me playing the game the way my mother taught me
with a smile and mu
the saviour is sleepingand I don't believethe saviour is sleeping8 years ago in Other More Like This
the world has kidnapped my last name,
my bones speak to my organs in tongues.
i fumble for my blood, it loses
and i lose
and i Am losing.
i am losing my best raincoats,
i am not myself, or i am becoming
someone i am afraid to get along with.
she almost wants to be alone; to wait
for someone who knows that liking vitamin d milk,
that is poetic, and a messy purse, that is the true test of endearment,
and playing piano with her eyes closed, that is humanity
honesty is scaring me again.
when it knocks on my bedroom door
i pull white sheets over my head
and gobble the reading flashlight whole,
i am not awake.
or perhaps, i am waking up
and you are standing there
holding ballet shoes.
well they aren't mine
and i need
i need to slow down
i need you to roll me over
and perform cpr on my ice hands
000*0006 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want to read the book in which the universe is written on, so I'll understand why we're here, but not together.
I want to listen to the stories the rocks in the road have to tell me about the rain, and how they're so in love.
I want to be in on life's inside jokes, so I'm not so out of the loop when my bad luck kicks in.
Alone is just something we make up so we don't have to pay attention to the rest of the world.
countdown.five.countdown.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i wish to disappear
between the cracks in
cement, the stars in the
sky and the spaces between
seconds. i wish to disappear
from the world; hide and become
but i'm too terrified
that no one will bother
to remember me.
fading. light is less
bright, the colors of the world
less vibrant. life
and hope and happiness
feel like the
stars - close enough
to see; too far to ever
i am at the door
to your heart. i knock,
my voice pleading for you to
just hear me, just
hear me, please.
i keep knocking until i
finally realize -
no one is home.
fingernails digging into
skin, lungs burning.
there is no escape,
there is no
escape. i scream
until life suffocates me,
until i have no voice
left, and all that remains is
i am counting down
to my own destruction.
everything you do, anything
you say -
well, it's all
of fish and fairytales.i was five years old when i first started dreaming of fish.of fish and fairytales.6 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
i made wishes on them, sometimes. and 'don't ever leave me,' i told them. 'please don't.'
i know it sounds insane but i could swear - and still do - that they promised me they'd never leave. that they'd carry my dreams into eternity and hold me. keep me from falling. drowning.
'be my gills when i can't swim anymore,' i told them. 'be my gills.'
and they were.
i was nine when my parents got a divorce.
that night, i didn't understand. that night, i cried until the sky was painted in crimson lights and it was morning and the sun found me on my bed, passed out and tear-stained. that night, the world stopped spinning for five whole seconds and i could swear the heavens were looking down on me and me alone. a spotlight was on me and all i could do was lay there and cry and wonder what i had done wrong.
but the fish were still painted on the insides of my mind and i wasn't alone i swore i wasn't alone.
'hold me,' i told them. 'hold
missing.i remember how you found me digging through boxes in my closet one day.missing.7 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
'what're you looking for?' you asked.
'i'm not sure,' i replied.
you looked at me, confused. 'you don't know what you're looking for?' you asked. i only shook my head.
because i never know what's missing or what i'm looking for; only that something is lost. misplaced.
but maybe the only thing misplaced is me.
'what do you think of yourself?' you asked me the next day.
'what do you mean?' i replied.
'i mean,' you paused for a moment. 'how do you see yourself?'
a telephone was ringing on the t.v. in the silence that dragged on. you turned away from me, and i could tell you didn't expect me to reply.
i didn't, either, but i surprised both of us.
'well,' i said. 'maybe... maybe i'm a fish born without gills. or maybe i'm a bird that refuses to fly. maybe i'm a treasure chest, locked and full of surprises - or maybe i'm just empty.
maybe i'm like fog, confusing and mindless and almost impossible to see through.
Just One TasteLet me swallow you wholeJust One Taste8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and trace my tastebuds around
every tender drop of who you are,
starting with those world-worn,
mud-trodden, kiss-me-tender eyes.
I'll open the centre of your smile
and work my way inwards:
ramble over the
rude roughness of tongue,
trip against the scar
tensed below the surface,
enumerate each eager emotion,
stumble amongst psychosises
howling for salvation,
submerge myself in memories
so macabre they have no end
and graze these lips upon every
guarded groove of goodness.
Then, maybe, below the bile and bitterness,
I'll reach the core of you and ring it
as bright as childhood.