BionicThere's a part of my heart shaped like a headphone jack,Bionic7 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
like an IV port wired up to the running rhythm repeating
pushing oxygen through my veins keeping time with my heart beating
like bass lines
these terrors crawl into my ears and echo for hours on end
like a broken record left to send out harsh words
over and over and over,
replaying in my head like all of my childhood monsters
selling me phrases to stick in my mind, like:
you're weak, you're a freak, and I hate you
I'll show you, I'll fix you, I'll break you-
but my music
holds me close like a cradle
like warm blankets wrapping me up and radiating safety
it pulls power from the strongest muscles around my lungs
and breathes out whatever it is
that I'm trying so hard to explain to myself
when I was a child
this was a tool for survival
a weapon wielded expertly over the years
becoming the epitome of all of my unrivaled angers, confusions, and fears
evaporating all of my tears before they had the chance to m
Left 4 Dead: Bleeding to DeathThunder in the night.Left 4 Dead: Bleeding to Death6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
They needed the rain; it was far too dry lately, far too dry for being so close to the Fourth. All those fireworks, all the grasslands outside the city--it made her nervous. She thought of California and its troubles with fire. When she was five she had to be taken out of the class whenever the subject of fire safety came up. Even learning how to prepare for fire terrified her; it meant acknowledging everything she loved could burn away. She got more of a grip as she grew older, but...
Well, there was a reason she never picked up smoking, and it wasn't fear of lung cancer.
The thunder was getting closer. She could hear the pounding of rain like frantic footsteps on the roof. She opened an eye, peered through the inky bedroom to the city-lit night outside her window.
Fire. Distant. Plumes of smoke rising from a far building.
Something scrambled in front of he
resolutionsiresolutions4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
on new year's eve, you call to see what i'm doing.
"making a resolution tree" i whisper tentatively into the receiver, rubbing my wrists. today is a sunny day in f-major and i have purchased a large potted plant from the garden centre and hung it with my new years resolutions crayoned on strips of paper.
"sick of making excuses for everything?" you ask, and i nod and bite my lip.
it rains on new years day and my resolutions go soggy.
you come around to laugh at the drooping plant in my garden, and to crush some bits of coloured paper to pulp. "they needed harvesting" you point out "they were getting too ripe".
i cry a little later. i'm thinking "fuck you" but the dopamine centres in my brain are down and every fibre of me is screaming for you to deliver a fix, fast. "my resolutions" i hiccup into your shoulder.and you,you rock me while i sob and you tell me that when it comes to you, i will never have any resolution.
Getting DarkerHow would you feelGetting Darker6 years ago in Other More Like This
When you took your last breath?
Would you be calm
In the face of death?
Can you imagine what it's like
To wish you weren't alive?
Would you regret your actions
Once you know you can't survive?
It's darker than I wished it
Scarier than I thought
I'm regretting my words and actions
Am I living or am I not?
Would it be selfish
If I could just go now?
I haven't said the reasons why
I'm not sure when or how.
I'm afraid to leave my life
To scared to take the last action
It's mostly because you won't be there
And I couldn't bear to see your reaction
It's darker than I wished it
Scarier than I thought
I'm regretting my words and actions
Am I living or am I not?
I think I've decided, chosen my end
If you want, blame it on fate
I'm ready for this all to end
I'm in too much pain to wait
My life is darker, my heart more empty
The love has left my being
I won't remember the final breath
But it's your face that I'll be seeing
It's darker than I wished it
Scarier than I thought
Portraits - VIIPortraits - VII8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Portraits - VII
A yellow matte of hair
tangled with worry
an earthen-smudged face, cute
but for the constant frown
too sad for just ten years.
The little girl sits, plays
in the dirt front yard
with a brittle tree-bone
that continually breaks under
the weight of her solitude.
A picture of a family—
even a stick-brother
all standing hand in hand
under a sickly stick-sun;
a secret letter to Santa
drawn in the mud.
Cupid Murdered MeI'mCupid Murdered Me5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Lost my since of balance.
I'm all t w i s t e d,
My world is standing upside
Curse this cursed g
During Murder in the DarkDuring Murder in the Dark7 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
During Murder in the Dark, we played our own games.
We had a nook in the corner where nobody ever came and wed meet in there for a few moments at the beginning of every round, snatching intimate memories under the cover of darkness. It started when we were children, and was therefore childishly innocent; wed tap out messages on each others arms, using a mixture of Morse code and our own kind of shorthand that made things go faster. We were thirteen when he tapped out, Can I kiss you? I tapped back Yes, and we had a new game.
It always was a game. It never failed to send shivers down my spine when, as we prepared to part, he whispered in my ear By the way, youve just been murdered. And I know it was the same for him.
Things progressed quickly and within a year I had my hand down his pants as we were making o
Pill, after pill...Insanity lies there, in corners,Pill, after pill...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Along with spiders of my mind
Their web it's made of irises
Of my memories left behind.
Memories, dreams and feelings.
They all passed over my believes,
On a floor of spinning ceilings,
A sky of autumnal leaves,
Withered bits of a decrepit soul.
Time is fierce...
My skin has rusted, hard as stone
Maimed and parched to the bone -
I need a pill, just one more.
Dawns won't pierce
My thoughts falling high
In a sea of toxicity -
There's a pill which might
Bring me closer to the light,
Far from its velocity
And its painful shards
Dissipated in pitched, soften clouds.
There's always a pill
And another pill -
To strengthen up my will.
Though, I will never feel
My emotions crystal clear.
These fake illusions
Will never cheer
Heavy whispers in my ear.
Diseased blood transfusions
Of my dreams becoming real,
The world has stood still
As my shivers tell me to fear.
So I'll take another pill
Because I fear...
What Happened To The Unicorns?What Happened To The Unicorns?7 years ago in Children and Teen More Like This
What Happened to the Unicorns Grampy?
The little girl burst into the old man's parlor with a determined look on her face. "What happened to the Unicorns Grampy"!
"And just what is it that makes you so certain that that your old Grampy knows the answer to that, little lassie"! He answered the young girl in a heavy Irish brogue.
"You know! Momma said you know! Momma said you did it! You took them away"! The candle on the table jumped about an inch in height, and the old wizard corrected the flame without a thought.
The little girl was close to tears by now, and the old wizard decided that it was time she had learned the truth about the beautiful magical "mythical" beast!
"Now Now there! Be ya not that way about it! Come over her by Grampy's fire and warm yourself, and let me tell ya where they went."
The little gir
Late night pray"Forgive me, Father for I have sinned"Late night pray4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
This is how all my thoughts begin
Their ritual of villain regrets and sorrows.
They come, they lie, they spin
Misguiding words and blinding the hallows,
While tears pray for the everyday forgiveness,
The tyrants chain my finned tomorrows
Forever consumed in acid of my illness.
Forgive me, Father
For I have baptized my thoughts in holy water.
Their slushy sins dived into a cruel slaughter,
Leaving me senseless hopeless
My tongue have lost its ability
To cut the truth from raw evilness.
In this shell of madness there's no tranquility
In vengeance, burning wounds don't find stability,
In anger, blurry paths lie in selfishness
And so I lie there alone.
The way back home
Can't be guided by crippled lights,
Redemption has got me in too many fights
Between me and my reflection,
I breathe and I bleed with no defection
While violins cry over my lost pure smiles,
Their grave shrouded me into a foolish disguise.
Dreams within My DelusionIs it so hopelessDreams within My Delusion5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
to hold a dream
in one's heart?
I only wish to
to keep it
this dream apart.
"nothing lasts forever"
and I've grown
weary of this
to prove the
for I have
found no better.
May 24th, 2010
How to Write About LoveI was 8 pounds bornHow to Write About Love6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and the nurse called me,
in red skin, wrinkles, screams,
the beautiful one.
I rode my bicycle
through the wide open cul-de-sac
and into a basketball pole.
I failed my first test in Junior year.
I made a cross-country journey
to a new land and
made my first friend
three long years later.
I read Redwall under the monkey bars
and learned about words.
When I moved my hands, the
I conducted a band,
I conducted my family,
I wept from the beauty of it all.
I burned brownies and still
I ate lunch in the bathrooms in
My best friend saved me and is now
saving the world.
The clean, orderly scars on my
have turned white in the sun
during hard work, sweaty work that
made me ache, a good ache.
I once pushed my toddler brother
into the deep-end.
I have learned humility.
My pet turtle, Shelly, laid five eggs
and ate them.
I was a slave to retail America, stocking yarn and puff paint. I sweat
Lesbian CuntsIt was nine pm.Lesbian Cunts6 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
She was on my face. Her tanned, smooth thighs on each side of my head. Her moans were in synch to each orchestrated lap of my tongue on her sweet clit.
I was in heaven and couldn't ask for anything more. I loved feeling her cum dripple all over my face.
Then a knock was heard in the next room.
Another knock...but this time this seem more urgent.
Fuck that! I wasn't going to stop. I continued on trying to get her to cum again.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"I know you are fucking in there!"
Sigh...what whore approaches my humble home now.
She looked at me with eyes that stated "Who the fuck can that be?!"
I hesitated to get up and open the door but the constant knocking and muffled yelling was irritating me.
"Who is in here with you! What slut do you have in your bed!!!"
That was the first thing that came out of Cunty's mouth. I say the word cunty because A) she is a cunt for interrupting my pleasure B) Why the fuck is she here in my house knocking like a crack head C) Now the drama
Ballad Of A Disturbed Minstrel'Twas a moonlit morning, late in JuneBallad Of A Disturbed Minstrel5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
As I stumbled up o'er the last high dune
Of a desert deep in a forest cold---
Before me there sparkled a Sea of gold!
A Sea of Gold--how I shook with fear
For I knew 'twas that magical Lake of Beer
Of which wizards mumble, when deep in their cups
--On the shore of that sea frolicked Basilisk pups!
Six Basilisk puppies, of an aspect most vile
Each grinning like a drunken crocodile
As they slithered and skipped on the silvery shore
--My torn-out innards begged for more!
But I drew my sword with a valiant sneeze
And I sliced up those brutes with ridiculous ease
'Til the silver sands sizzled with their putrid blood
--Then I tripped and fell into the golden flood!
But no minstrel's drowned yet in a torrent of beer
So I drank as I swam with an impudent leer
To the Island of Droon, where a damsel most fair
Yanked me out of the sea by my wet thinning hair!
"Many thanks, lovely damsel," quoth I with a wink
For truly by then I'd had quite enough drink;
Letter to an old friend.Dear you,Letter to an old friend.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
This is a letter
from someone who, by now,
has forgotten your face; your name
comes to mind every once
in a while, bringing with it
a small sense of sadness, then
I may have missed
my chance with you; by now
I may not really mind.
Yours in passing,
an old friend.
The long road home - RenkuBefore the dawnThe long road home - Renku8 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
my shoes are tied tight
to clean feet
the crunching of gravel
in his bed
a lonely pillow
in her arms
a bundle of flowers
laying in the grass
and the lake is lit
an old man passes by
carrying a chess board
along the way
a blackbird protests
the high tide of dew
recedes into hedge shadows
testing its wings
as the train
slips by the tenements
on a stone wall
slugs follow paving lines
she watches the tom cat
with one hand on her hip
while the kids
play stick ball in the streets
this summer evening
the wasps' nest rolls well
but makes a poor football
left at a bus stop
twenty years ago
she could have stopped traffic
on a streetlamp
the magpie and woodpigeon
but no romance
young man with an ipod
picks up on the chorus
forming a line
people wait to see
an ogre and a donkey
in the alleyway
the rats nibble popcorn
from a window
Elements of the Periodic TableElements of the Periodic Table10 years ago in Typographical More Like This
Li, Lithium: Corrosive words.
Ta, Tantalum: Irresistible desire.
Ge, Germanium: Beds of beautiful red flowers.
Kr, Krypton: Bleached skeletons on beds of stone.
Ra, Radium: The light at the end of the tunnel.
Na, Sodium: The froth of crashing waves.
Cr, Chromium: Skin of the future.
Co, Cobalt: Cold nights with indigo skies.
Mg, Magnesium: The super villain with a death ray.
U, Uranium: What they're all snickering about.
Rh, Rhodium: Thumbing it across the country.
K, Potassium: Bananas can kill you.
In, Indium: Never seeing another soul ever again.
Xe, Xenon: Photocopying atoms.
Nb, Niobium: The new plateau of organic existence.
Zr, Zirconium: Bright and beautiful, your best friend.
As, Arsenic: Pirates in a sea of poison.
Fr, Francium: Your next door neighbour.
Sb, Antimony: Happily ever after.
Ce, Cerium: The pulsating mind is ceaseless.
Ag, Silver: A splinter stuck in your finger.
H, Hydrogen: Champagne buoyancy in flute glasses.
Al, Aluminium: The best, of the best, of the best. S
The storytellerIt takes a special kind of person,The storyteller5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
to look upon a page,
and take a pen and draw a world
that will wonder and amaze.
Within the ink he sees the life,
That runs in rivers blue,
And jot by jot he writes a scene
That interests me and you.
Like a weaver he spins a tale,
Upon the empty lines,
For word by word and thought by thought
His story leaves his mind.
Sprung up from processed paper white,
The forests rise again,
The creatures slink between the trunks
That gently sway and bend.
You see, that special person's mind,
Spurs, excites and sparks,
Creativity and inspiration
Within another's heart.
I'm Gay, A Frerard, Chapter 4I woke up to the sound of my mobile ringing.I'm Gay, A Frerard, Chapter 47 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"Frank?" I heard Bob ask, "Where the Hell are you?" I checked my clock. Damn, it was past ten in the morning! Why hadn't I heard my alarm? I must have forgotten to set it last night.
"Er, in bed. My alarm didn't go off."
"Well come to school quickly!"
"Okay, okay!" What was up with him?
When I got to school it was already lunchtime. Yeah, I know. I had a problem finding clean clothes.
"There he is!" shouted Mikey to Bob and Gerard. I walked over to them and frowned,
"That's the problem; we don't know!" exclaimed Bob. "We think something's happened to him."
As soon as school finished we called Ray's mobile. When he didn't answer, we called his home phone number. His mother answered.
"H-hello?" she sounded like she had been crying.
"Mrs Toro?" I asked - we were calling on my phone, "Is Ray okay?"
She sobbed. "No. He-he - come over to the hospital and I... I'll talk to you there. I just came home to get some sleep, b-but I
I hate you - Frerard 6I heard that Franks moved in with you and Lyn-zI hate you - Frerard 67 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Gerard looked up slightly, surprised by his brother breaking the awkward silence, though grateful. Er..yeah. Its just temporary, hes really screwed up at the moment..
Mikey frowned as the other refused to meet his eyes, and shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. Do you really think its wise to let him stay? I mean after what he did
Gerard winced slightly, sighing gently, collecting himself. Im aware what he did. I forgive him, Mikey.
There was a pause, where Mikey studied the other, seeming to ponder his sincerity. Yes, but isnt it a little awkward for you? I mean, you cant just banish the feelings you had
Gerard fidgeted just as Frank would, trying to make a choice. To tell Mikey or not Hed already told him everything else. Everything he could never tell anyone other than his brother. Because Mikey underst
LettersLetters11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Turned to talk to you today
But no one was there
I'd forgotten again
Went to your funeral today
They had your favorite flowers
It was pretty
Your mom came over for dinner today
She left before dessert
I think she cried
Found the sweater I had borrowed today
Did you know how much you'd hurt us?
I know you did
Your boyfriend talked to me today
He said he understood how I felt
I just walked away
Went to your house, found my pills today
Did I tell you your parents are moving?
They can't take the memories anymore
Wanted to hurt someone today
Make someone share my pain
But I couldn't
Started killing my pain today
Maybe if I can punish myself
God will forgive
I hate you - Frerard 7Well, go on then.I hate you - Frerard 77 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
You know what you need to say, just say it.
I cant its difficult to put right.
Or maybe you just feel insecure saying it?
Thats ridiculous! I wouldnt have kissed him and told him I needed to explain if I did.
Gerard let out a short breath, still silent as Frank glanced curiously at him. Gee uh, we can talk things over later if you want
Oh, no no sorry. Im trying, really, Im just struggling for what to say Both men paused and locked gazes. Gerard bit his lip gently. It didnt help that Frank still pressed a hand firmly to his thigh. No, that was driving him crazy.
Say it, Gerard.
You know what!
Er well, obviously the whole Lyn-z thing is well, its not really a thing its a marriage he pursed his lips. I never thought Id have to go through divorce but