Working Without a NetWorking Without a Net12 years ago in Humor More Like This
I did what any of us would have done when learning that my Internet service had been shut down. I cried.
Actually, that's not completely true. The first thing I did was frantically dial up the campus tech people, who told me the problem would be resolved in an hour. Anyone who has ever dealt with Electronic Device Repairpersons should already know that "an hour" in their language translates into "sometime between an hour and the rapture."
So I waited an hour. Then I cried.
How could I possibly function without instant access to news, entertainment, and all that other stuff that's just sort of there? What could I do in place of checking my e-mail every 20 minutes and playing Slingo? This was a major problem.
But after a moment of despair, I dried my tears with the hanky of determination. I would not let this defeat me! I had lived happily before without the Internet and I could live the same way now! I only had to remember how.
I first tried reading an ancient text recording from when p
A Twist of HeroismA Twist of Heroism9 years ago in Humor More Like This
Every woman seeks a hero; a knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet when they're in distress and carry them away to commit acts of sickeningly sweet romance found only in the backs of Fabio-approved dimestore novels. I have found this to be a universal truth hidden deep within the heart of every heterosexual female regardless of the number of times they deny it or the ounces of pepper spray they use on you.
The only problem with the heroic approach is that many of us guys don't believe we actually have the ability to defeat any foe that doesn't appear on a video game screen. We can barely sweep all the cheese curl residue off our sofas, let alone a woman off her feet.
But fear not, because God did not forget you. He has bestowed upon each of us a special gift that can win us the admiration and, dare I say, love of any female we serve with it.
Yes, men: we can open jars.
No matter how weak and scrawny you may be, you h
Quotable QuotesHumans have the incredible ability to reason logically and come to the wrong conclusion.Quotable Quotes8 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
Two things in this world are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. But Im not so sure about the first one. Albert Einstein
Lifes not worth living if you dont have something worth dying for.
A ship in a harbor is safe, but thats not what a ship is built for.
Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed on and digested.
It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.
If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right.
Faith is not belief. Belief is passive. Faith is active.
I have discovered that all human evil comes from this: man's being unable to sit still in a room. (Uh oh, my brother is in trouble )
The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of.