I Love -Hate-
The way you scuff your feet. The way you pick the roses past their bloom, so you can jingle shake their petals as you walk, without a bride. The way you haven't brushed your hair since you were ten. The way you're comfortable with taking turns in dialogue. Your pauses of breath. Your silver step. The way you croak good morning in the lazy afternoons. The way you only like your yolks runny. Your meat soft. Your bread hard. The way you fill the cup with too much hot water. The way you let things steam until we're blind, with something not unlike tears. Your apologetic 'no's. The freedom in your 'hello's. Those jeans you never wore. The picture in my head of your fingers, your thumbs, the backs of your knees. The smile you wore as a badge whenever I was leaving. The way your face becomes the same blur as I swing you into dizziness. Your look of disdain when you've realized I've written the day away.
Love is a lot like hate.
RainbowRainbow9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Lying on a rainbow
On a peaceful summer day
I listen to the birdsong
As the world blurs away
I am in the moment
And the moment is in me
Daydreams are the essence
Of a moment born so free
Dizzily I focus
On whatever I can find
I must feel the rest
As my stomach's left behind
Cradled by the fibers
Of what is real today
I fix eyes on my self
All that I know will stay
CandlesA gust of wind, a drop of rain,Candles8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Could bring dark rushing back again,
And if somehow this burning keeps,
I know the darkness slowly creeps,
A flickering, tiny point of light,
Against the bleak unending night,
Of hunger, pain and hate and lies,
That clouds even our childrens eyes.
Its life is short; its power small,
It does not do much good at all.
But still it burns and hopes that you,
Will choose to light your candles to.
En l'airEn l'air8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In the air
Outside the stuffiness of our kitchen, we were
makeshift dancers pirouetting greyscale streets:
the strip of grass, failing poppies
and the roar of bottlenecked traffic.
Feet flew across floorboards,
secret tunnels squashed between city sights,
our laughter found places where bolts held iron poles,
catering for awkward Pliés. Palms mimed clock-work,
and our muscles pushed against our winter woollies.
We watched light flickering through wood-work cracks,
our chests groaning with breath; the tick of exhaustion
sliding down foreheads, and the whirl of wind fuelling
our feet towards the house where warmth waited.
Roots: A Tree StudyRoots: A Tree Study9 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
A set of five haiku
intently plant a tree
more than a stick
for a bird
but not a swing-
father and son
me and the tree
both miss my dad
this autumn evening
Eternally YoursEternally yoursEternally Yours9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
You're going where
I cannot come, so
Take good care!
How lonely will
Your journey be?
My Love, beware!
The path you choose
Is for but souls pure,
So I loose
To take you there!
Of what has passed
And what should be!
Curse, not bless -
just likehe said,just like9 years ago in Typographical More Like This
you taste kind of nice
ill give you a try.
its been too long
i know ive forgotten.
its just like riding a bike
i always used to crash
someday.i. i will alwayssomeday.7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
be waiting for my
(would you like
to wait with
giving up and
sound awfully nice.
(you are the reason why
iii. i believe that words
can paint rainbow
sunsets and rivers and
happiness and golden
skies and things full
(im still trying to figure out
iv. writing non-fiction
makes me feel horribly
for everyone to realize
im nothing special.)
v. i dont want
to anyone. i
only want to be
mine. i only want
(i like to pretend
wishes on stars.i. sometimes, i wish i could forget you.wishes on stars.7 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
sometimes, i wish i could forget the smell of your skin and the shade of your eyes and the sound of your breathing and the sound of your voice, whispering in the dark.
sometimes, i wish the guy in my memories - counting the clouds with me, climbing out my window under the stars, trying to throw rocks past the horizon, holding me, saying iloveyou- was just a faceless black shadow.
because maybe then remembering wouldn't hurt so much.
ii. i watched a t.v. show today.
in it, this beautiful girl won the lead part in some ballet performance. the dance hall was full of mirrors. she was dancing and laughing and crying in all of them.
and i have no idea how that feels; what she was feeling. and for a moment, i wished i did.
iii. everywhere i go, i feel out of place, awkward, and lonely. it's like i'm the piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit, no matter how hard you try to make it belong.
so tell me, please - where do i belong?
(i wish someone had
I'm HidingDear World,I'm Hiding7 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Im behind the makeup; over-done, ostentatious, not-really-me makeup. But it makes me feel better. Do you understand? I dont think you do. See, I have all these horrible problems with myself. Theyre internal problems; problems with how I look, problems with how I act, problems with me.
If I cover myself up, maybe I can pretend the world will see me better; they might see who I want them to see. But more importantly, maybe Ill see who I wish I could be. I can fool myself sometimes, when Im lucky; and thats all that matters to me. Its borderline-obsessive, but I dont really worry about that anymore. Its too late to solve that problem. Isnt it?
I like who I pretend to be, either way. Shes so much nicer; so much prettier.
Do you understand yet?
Im hiding behind the lies.
The lie I tell the most is my smile. Its fake; horribly, disgustingly fake, but the world seems
before things broke.She was beautiful, once.before things broke.7 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
But that was before.
Before, she would play in the river with her daughter. At winter, it would snow, but nothing would freeze over. She wondered how, and her daughter would laugh and say, its because I asked for this.
Daddy left them a long time ago. He left for work and she said, Ill see you later, honey. He just said, yeah. Yeah, sure.
He didnt come back.
That was December. Its May, now, and she still misses him but her daughter doesnt. April says he was mean to her, she didnt really know him, he never really cared. Why should she care if hes gone? He was no good to you, Mommy, he really wasnt, she says.
She remembers those times as the good times, though, and nothing April says will change that.
She remembers how shed get snowflakes in her hair. She was healthy to go outside back then. April says it doesnt matter, it never snows in May anyway.
She remembers she had long
Talitha cumiTalitha cumiTalitha cumi8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
An ekphrasis on kolaboy's She is Love, I Am Dust (link below)
This is no easy trump
Pleasure and pain, perhaps,
Freshly raised from the dead?
A dark card, at any rate:
A gamma in reverse, but
Capital, like the punishment itself;
A gibbet for the hanged man.
She will not meet your gaze, being
Intent upon her semi-crucifixion
Blessed in unlikely snow. And so
This street-light sheds both
Blood and water, mixed
Into an endless world, as though
Fulfilling a rainbow vow.
Her level half-hand gives
A brave benediction. Perhaps a
Semaphore healing is what we all need, so
The one-winged angel must bleed.
Always she looks to her right, unmoved,
Like a Sistine figure reaching out
To an absent God; a salute that nonetheless
Keeps lovers at arms length. She cannot know
How her left hand betrays her right, being
Pricked within by the thorns of desire:
papercuts and gashes.i. i think there ispapercuts and gashes.7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
between everyone and
just don't care enough
to try to cross
ii. i wish
i had the strength
to tell you how much
i miss you.
i didn't spend
my time wondering
if it would even
make a difference.
that this was just another
iii. papercuts hurt, but
at least they're
(i wish this
was only a
iv. if only
i could tell you
i could heal
my gashes so that
you'd never have to
suffer with me
v. this is me
saying i miss you.
this is me
trying to cross the distance,
trying to open up, again.
this is me.
and i'm sorry if it's not what you want.
Dreaming out of the GlassTransgressions in the past ledDreaming out of the Glass9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to porcelain nightmares, but this land
is for the living, the dreaming.
We have wings to take flight over
the scales that weigh down every
fleeting thought of the day – no more
confinement in a prison of glass.
This is our chance to be free of
our captors, to flutter in the fire
lit room of what could be.
Do not tap our glass and wake
us from this paradise, or our
brothers shall choke your mothers
with the bones in flesh consumed.
months of the year.october:months of the year.7 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
was when i met you.
we were in a coffee shop. it was stuffy and crowded, but it smelt like hope and the coffee was decent.
you sat down next to me, quietly, and neither of us said anything as you watched my coffee get cold.
'why?' you asked softly.
'i don't like getting burned.'
it's a shame i ended up getting burned anyway.
i had this incredibly eccentric neighbor.
she put her christmas lights up at the beginning of november. i never understood why.
most of the lights ended up dying by december.
and then i thought of the lights as the important people in my life, and i thought it was ironic how, in the end, they always ended up dying or leaving, too.
the first night it snowed that year, you brushed my hair out of my eyes and smiled. i asked, 'what are you smiling about?'
you said, 'i know what my new year's resolution will be.'
i asked, 'what?'
you said, 'i'm going to be more careful. my goal is to not break anything out of clumsiness.' and suddenly,
losing dreams on faerie wings.You say that youve lostlosing dreams on faerie wings.7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the will to go on; that its too much
to take one more step
and spread your faerie wings
one last time
I wish you would just see-
faeries were not meant to fall,
like diamonds were not
meant to break and dreams
were never meant to be lost.
Dont give into me just yet.
And I wish you would stop looking
for things you'll never find;
the secrets you search for will remain
locked in my mind, and the romance
you seek is still hidden in that
dusty box beneath my bed.
But you can still hold my hand, and
we can still watch the moonlight
dance in the water. We can glue
your wings back together, and well
discover how to fly away.
Dont expect me to fall in love with you, yet.
You know, we could be
some strange version of perfect.
Our fingers just might fit together
as if made from the same mold
and we just might be able
to accept each other, mess and all.
And we could fly
on your beautifully broken faerie wings,
or we could fall like
gold blood : COLLAB.i.gold blood : COLLAB.7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you told me that heart surgery was the worst.
the heart surgeons are cruel for putting holes
in others hearts.
i told you theyre saviors.
but no one should have a hole in their heart.
(i didnt tell you that i want to stab a straw
through your skin and pierce your heart
and drink your sweet honey
because your veins are filled with gold.)
The PartnersOn a lonely two lane blacktop road after midnight, the deal had been struck, hands shook, pleasantries exchanged, pink slips and money pocketed by neutral parties.The Partners9 years ago in General More Like This
Randy fires up the engine, checks the gauges and listens to the sound of Bahama idling. It sounds more like a cackle with the camshaft he is running, opening and closing the valves, letting the car inhale the huge amounts of air and fuel it requires to make the kind of power it takes to run fast. Rump, rump, rump! The idle is really choppy, even at 1200 R.P.M. The car sounds powerful and hungry, more like an animal than a machine. He blips the throttle a couple of times to clear it's throat, he then purges the the nitrous system, sets the transmission brake and waits. Odorless and tasteless, nitrous oxide, better known as laughing gas is the Hot Rodders easiest to use power adder. Who would think that the same gas your dentist used before a s
Just one step closerYou managed to break my heart pretty easily. All you had to do is carry your pretty bones through my door, silhouettes dancing through your not-quite-heart. All you had to do is step on mine.Just one step closer7 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
(Although I do like to think so, it couldn't have been an accident.)
You were so stubborn, so sure you couldn't live through a tragedy. You were too weak you were too helpless you were too worthless and too hopeless and just so-not-worth-it.
(Through my stitched lips, all i can say is: "You lasted one minute with me - that must have gotten you one step closer.)
You watched the sunset just to see the red eating the blue, to see how the fire swallows up burning cities without segregation. Flames were tracing the buildings, the sky was crying in desperation. Tick-tock, tick-tock - the clocks were chiming as you watched crimson appear beneath the wounds that you so carefully self-inflicted.
(I pretended to watch it with you, but instead, I was studying the darkness swallow you up.)
wishing starsi.wishing stars7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i will wipe clean the night sky
for you; only the moon and
planets will be left so you wont
worry about the stars burning out
i will write all your wishes on slips
of paper and fold them into stars
there will be billions of tiny wish-stars
and i will not sleep for days on end
when the world is asleep i will climb
to the sky and hang them in place
they will spring to life with butterfly
kisses and the night will shiver in content
when you cannot find beauty in the world
you will look to the sky and find the smile
that was woven into the constellation because
everyone loves the way your wishes shine
maybe one night you will notice that a single
star has vanished; you will find in your hand
a wish of mine that i tricked into the heavens
"i wish you will see through glasses half-full"
stepping stones.they say the firststepping stones.7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
step is always the
hardest. (but im
never the one to
im afraid to.)
you are peeling my
paint away, please stop
peeling my paint away.
i dont want you to see
beneath it, underneath the
smiles and how,
exactly, did you ever get
(i think you mustve
found a way to
can you be my
you said youd be my
light, but lights are
flickering, and i want you
to be a
my heart is not
fragile. shes just tired
of being dumped in the
(do you understand?)
i think we have all been
sleeping but there is no one
left to wake us
love will never
fit inside a
box. im sorry that
you just dont
these are like
across a river.
(and one that was
meant to help us make it
to the other side just isnt
theme four - darki.theme four - dark7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she tells me i prefer the dark because
i want to go back to where i came from
before senses, grades, girls
when i didnt hurt from everything i see
i close my eyes when insomnia takes hold
and lead myself around the house
delicately; i feel with my toes and stretch
my fingers to grope at the edges of dreams
she preaches that i will never be without light
because she loves me and that will lead me
i know better; i know that i am not in a black hole
because reds, purples, blues erupt against closed eyelids
i cannot find black because light is a traitor
that seeps even into skin being punctured
with a home sewing needle dipped in
india ink; i pretend i can stain myself complete
when i grow sick of being jaded and teenage
angst i sit close on the couch and let you
toy with my hair; i will even rest on you and
wish i can melt back inside of you
Puddlesthese puddlesPuddles9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
are pools of bewilderment
that stare up at me
from the wave-churned glass.
the beach, frothed with waves
and polished by the sun
curiously slides its shadow
between my toes.
the soles of my feet glide
over the melted glass.
grounded, my heart allots
itself its last two raindrops
for the day.
A Preacher in the TrafficWe will ignore every yieldA Preacher in the Traffic8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
all the way to the sun,
light to yellow light, careful either to kiss
our knuckles to the ceiling of the car
or pray to Saint Christopher--
whatever ritual will comfort us
with the illusion of safety
as we pass urgently through each intersection.
Its an escape from this hellish heat,
the sort that only air-conditioning can bring,
fan blasting on full, mocking the radiation outside.
The threat of being forever sealed
to the earth's infant layer
of cement and tar and ground stone
gave way to unreasonable hope
that the white-hot steam of some imagined liftoff
would somehow propel them from the earth
but for now, the car wont start
the air is sticky
and we are expanding,
forming some unholy union with our seats,
gelling in our perspiration
that must be evaporating faster than
it can cool us down.