I Love -Hate-
The way you scuff your feet. The way you pick the roses past their bloom, so you can jingle shake their petals as you walk, without a bride. The way you haven't brushed your hair since you were ten. The way you're comfortable with taking turns in dialogue. Your pauses of breath. Your silver step. The way you croak good morning in the lazy afternoons. The way you only like your yolks runny. Your meat soft. Your bread hard. The way you fill the cup with too much hot water. The way you let things steam until we're blind, with something not unlike tears. Your apologetic 'no's. The freedom in your 'hello's. Those jeans you never wore. The picture in my head of your fingers, your thumbs, the backs of your knees. The smile you wore as a badge whenever I was leaving. The way your face becomes the same blur as I swing you into dizziness. Your look of disdain when you've realized I've written the day away.
Love is a lot like hate.
Roots: A Tree StudyRoots: A Tree Study8 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
A set of five haiku
intently plant a tree
more than a stick
for a bird
but not a swing-
father and son
me and the tree
both miss my dad
this autumn evening
RainbowRainbow8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Lying on a rainbow
On a peaceful summer day
I listen to the birdsong
As the world blurs away
I am in the moment
And the moment is in me
Daydreams are the essence
Of a moment born so free
Dizzily I focus
On whatever I can find
I must feel the rest
As my stomach's left behind
Cradled by the fibers
Of what is real today
I fix eyes on my self
All that I know will stay
CandlesA gust of wind, a drop of rain,Candles7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Could bring dark rushing back again,
And if somehow this burning keeps,
I know the darkness slowly creeps,
A flickering, tiny point of light,
Against the bleak unending night,
Of hunger, pain and hate and lies,
That clouds even our childrens eyes.
Its life is short; its power small,
It does not do much good at all.
But still it burns and hopes that you,
Will choose to light your candles to.
Eternally YoursEternally yoursEternally Yours8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
You're going where
I cannot come, so
Take good care!
How lonely will
Your journey be?
My Love, beware!
The path you choose
Is for but souls pure,
So I loose
To take you there!
Of what has passed
And what should be!
Curse, not bless -
En l'airEn l'air7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In the air
Outside the stuffiness of our kitchen, we were
makeshift dancers pirouetting greyscale streets:
the strip of grass, failing poppies
and the roar of bottlenecked traffic.
Feet flew across floorboards,
secret tunnels squashed between city sights,
our laughter found places where bolts held iron poles,
catering for awkward Pliés. Palms mimed clock-work,
and our muscles pushed against our winter woollies.
We watched light flickering through wood-work cracks,
our chests groaning with breath; the tick of exhaustion
sliding down foreheads, and the whirl of wind fuelling
our feet towards the house where warmth waited.
just likehe said,just like8 years ago in Typographical More Like This
you taste kind of nice
ill give you a try.
its been too long
i know ive forgotten.
its just like riding a bike
i always used to crash
End of TimeEnd of TimeEnd of Time7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Clocks are ticking, time is running
Dutiful Demise, most cunning
Opens up her bag so stunning!
Clocks are tacking, time is freezing
With her soulbag, playful, teasing
She will whisper life is leasing!
Clocks are silent, time is turning
Standing still with dark eyes burning
Death incarnate claims her earning!
Clocks are ticking, clocks are tacking
Clocks are silent, time is lacking
The ability to stop her packing!
Stand up, my friend, when in her beauty
Lady Death must do her duty!
Face her tall, and face her proud
If, for sure, your time is out!
face anotherhopefully there could just be another faceface another8 years ago in Other More Like This
she asked so why arent you crying?
because i lost my heart years ago
before i was born
and i had not a say
so there isnt much use crying over something i cant change
the point is revenge.
i'll kill that fucker of a moon, one day.
you are a sorrow no words that i borrow
could ever unravel
as silk does, in rewind
from spindle to worm
and when i think whatever i could manage
would only be hollow forgery
as soft satin
trailed across lips
i wonder the imprint your
feet leave on every heart you
if traces of my laugh
somehow got caught up in your eyes
or perhaps my penchant for mockery
in your hands; clutching
confetti of names
i would have to say
i have your acrid cynicism
, coupled with my own
makes for a strange mess
she asked so why arent you crying?
i said i am but it isnt from me
she asked how do you mean?
i allow every landscape to become my own
for mine is a sorry excuse
Dreaming out of the GlassTransgressions in the past ledDreaming out of the Glass8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to porcelain nightmares, but this land
is for the living, the dreaming.
We have wings to take flight over
the scales that weigh down every
fleeting thought of the day – no more
confinement in a prison of glass.
This is our chance to be free of
our captors, to flutter in the fire
lit room of what could be.
Do not tap our glass and wake
us from this paradise, or our
brothers shall choke your mothers
with the bones in flesh consumed.
Just one step closerYou managed to break my heart pretty easily. All you had to do is carry your pretty bones through my door, silhouettes dancing through your not-quite-heart. All you had to do is step on mine.Just one step closer6 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
(Although I do like to think so, it couldn't have been an accident.)
You were so stubborn, so sure you couldn't live through a tragedy. You were too weak you were too helpless you were too worthless and too hopeless and just so-not-worth-it.
(Through my stitched lips, all i can say is: "You lasted one minute with me - that must have gotten you one step closer.)
You watched the sunset just to see the red eating the blue, to see how the fire swallows up burning cities without segregation. Flames were tracing the buildings, the sky was crying in desperation. Tick-tock, tick-tock - the clocks were chiming as you watched crimson appear beneath the wounds that you so carefully self-inflicted.
(I pretended to watch it with you, but instead, I was studying the darkness swallow you up.)
Puddlesthese puddlesPuddles8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
are pools of bewilderment
that stare up at me
from the wave-churned glass.
the beach, frothed with waves
and polished by the sun
curiously slides its shadow
between my toes.
the soles of my feet glide
over the melted glass.
grounded, my heart allots
itself its last two raindrops
for the day.
I'm HidingDear World,I'm Hiding6 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Im behind the makeup; over-done, ostentatious, not-really-me makeup. But it makes me feel better. Do you understand? I dont think you do. See, I have all these horrible problems with myself. Theyre internal problems; problems with how I look, problems with how I act, problems with me.
If I cover myself up, maybe I can pretend the world will see me better; they might see who I want them to see. But more importantly, maybe Ill see who I wish I could be. I can fool myself sometimes, when Im lucky; and thats all that matters to me. Its borderline-obsessive, but I dont really worry about that anymore. Its too late to solve that problem. Isnt it?
I like who I pretend to be, either way. Shes so much nicer; so much prettier.
Do you understand yet?
Im hiding behind the lies.
The lie I tell the most is my smile. Its fake; horribly, disgustingly fake, but the world seems
before things broke.She was beautiful, once.before things broke.6 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
But that was before.
Before, she would play in the river with her daughter. At winter, it would snow, but nothing would freeze over. She wondered how, and her daughter would laugh and say, its because I asked for this.
Daddy left them a long time ago. He left for work and she said, Ill see you later, honey. He just said, yeah. Yeah, sure.
He didnt come back.
That was December. Its May, now, and she still misses him but her daughter doesnt. April says he was mean to her, she didnt really know him, he never really cared. Why should she care if hes gone? He was no good to you, Mommy, he really wasnt, she says.
She remembers those times as the good times, though, and nothing April says will change that.
She remembers how shed get snowflakes in her hair. She was healthy to go outside back then. April says it doesnt matter, it never snows in May anyway.
She remembers she had long
Sometimes...SometimesSometimes...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
When the sky is weeping
I want to lie on the ground
And look up into the infinite
As it crashes into my wide open eyes
Just so I could know how it feels
To cry backwards
But I don't
Let's Just Be Us1.Let's Just Be Us6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't like the word "fall"
in association with the word "love,"
because it leaves too much room
for scraped knees and bruised egos,
for broken bones and fractured hearts.
[I don't like the word "fall,"
but I have transformed into Autumn in your arms.]
I've changed my mind. I am no longer a season-
they never stay for long,
and no one ever wants the one they have.
Can I be a tattoo, instead?
That way, you could remove me if you wanted,
but you never would,
because it would hurt too much.
Nevermind. Tattoos get covered up.
I don't want you to have to hide me.
[And I don't want to stick around if you don't want me.]
How about penguins?
I heard that they mate for life.
You've always known I'm indecisive.
I did some research, and did you know that after the female penguin gives birth,
she leaves the male with the egg
for two entire months?
[I don't think I could leave you.]
So can we maybe just be people?
[Let's just be us,
and let's just be in love.]
i'm afraid.ive only just now come to realize how afraid i am.i'm afraid.6 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
im afraid of heights. did you know that? no? well, i am. im not afraid of being up high, really. i like the adrenaline rush. but i know from experience: the higher you are, the longer your fall.
and i am terribly afraid of falling.
im afraid of breathing. theres little things in the air - i refuse to think of them as creatures or beings - and there is pollution and there is pain. yes, pain. people breathe it out when they exhale, slowly, with eyes closed tightly and fists clenching the covers and teeth biting their tongue because they refuse to scream.
i sometimes wonder if theyre afraid to.
i am. afraid of hurting, that is. but its not the hurting that bugs me. its people knowing that I hurt. i dont like opening up.
thats why opening up to you is one of the hardest things, maybe the hardest.
im afraid to say i love you first. im afraid ill say it
Talitha cumiTalitha cumiTalitha cumi7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
An ekphrasis on kolaboy's She is Love, I Am Dust (link below)
This is no easy trump
Pleasure and pain, perhaps,
Freshly raised from the dead?
A dark card, at any rate:
A gamma in reverse, but
Capital, like the punishment itself;
A gibbet for the hanged man.
She will not meet your gaze, being
Intent upon her semi-crucifixion
Blessed in unlikely snow. And so
This street-light sheds both
Blood and water, mixed
Into an endless world, as though
Fulfilling a rainbow vow.
Her level half-hand gives
A brave benediction. Perhaps a
Semaphore healing is what we all need, so
The one-winged angel must bleed.
Always she looks to her right, unmoved,
Like a Sistine figure reaching out
To an absent God; a salute that nonetheless
Keeps lovers at arms length. She cannot know
How her left hand betrays her right, being
Pricked within by the thorns of desire:
Always Said, Never MeantWhat she said;Always Said, Never Meant6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
say that you love me,
and that you will forever,
because forever is too long to fortell.
someday.i. i will alwayssomeday.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
be waiting for my
(would you like
to wait with
giving up and
sound awfully nice.
(you are the reason why
iii. i believe that words
can paint rainbow
sunsets and rivers and
happiness and golden
skies and things full
(im still trying to figure out
iv. writing non-fiction
makes me feel horribly
for everyone to realize
im nothing special.)
v. i dont want
to anyone. i
only want to be
mine. i only want
(i like to pretend
theme four - darki.theme four - dark6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she tells me i prefer the dark because
i want to go back to where i came from
before senses, grades, girls
when i didnt hurt from everything i see
i close my eyes when insomnia takes hold
and lead myself around the house
delicately; i feel with my toes and stretch
my fingers to grope at the edges of dreams
she preaches that i will never be without light
because she loves me and that will lead me
i know better; i know that i am not in a black hole
because reds, purples, blues erupt against closed eyelids
i cannot find black because light is a traitor
that seeps even into skin being punctured
with a home sewing needle dipped in
india ink; i pretend i can stain myself complete
when i grow sick of being jaded and teenage
angst i sit close on the couch and let you
toy with my hair; i will even rest on you and
wish i can melt back inside of you
losing dreams on faerie wings.You say that youve lostlosing dreams on faerie wings.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the will to go on; that its too much
to take one more step
and spread your faerie wings
one last time
I wish you would just see-
faeries were not meant to fall,
like diamonds were not
meant to break and dreams
were never meant to be lost.
Dont give into me just yet.
And I wish you would stop looking
for things you'll never find;
the secrets you search for will remain
locked in my mind, and the romance
you seek is still hidden in that
dusty box beneath my bed.
But you can still hold my hand, and
we can still watch the moonlight
dance in the water. We can glue
your wings back together, and well
discover how to fly away.
Dont expect me to fall in love with you, yet.
You know, we could be
some strange version of perfect.
Our fingers just might fit together
as if made from the same mold
and we just might be able
to accept each other, mess and all.
And we could fly
on your beautifully broken faerie wings,
or we could fall like