phenosbecause really, this is humanity: the sum total of all we are is far greater than our ambition as to what we could >would/shouldphenos3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
How My Business WorksHow My Business Works2 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
My business works because it's actually not a business. And by this I mean I hardly make any money with my pictures. For me photography is not a way to make money but to invest money, and I work several other jobs to be able to pay for my art. I'm a tour guide on waste to energy plants and wastewater treatment facilities, I'm a concierge at the house I'm living, I work as a Photoshop instructor and on weekends I take care of the library of the University.
Sometimes people say to me: I can hardly believe you're not making money with your photos because they are better than the work of many professional photographers.
Of course it's flattering when somebody says something like that even if I don't always agree. But here's the thing: the very reason why I'm able to work on this level is because I don't have to make money with my pictures. If you're a photographer who wants to make a living out of it you are forced to do things differently. You have to focus on what your customers like and
Magic Lessons Pt ONEThe moon pool cavern buzzed with the voices of excited fawnlings. The turnout for the herd lesson had impressed and staggered the king. He never expected so many to be interested in magic lessons with him. The water glittered in the moonlight and glow of all the painted bodies as well as floating, glowing water orb he had brought in for the occasion. It gave the common caves a homey, lively and welcoming feeling. Nothing was left in shadows and the king walked among the herd members with smiles and pleasant greetings. How many would become his loyalists from these public lessons?Magic Lessons Pt ONE7 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
• A M I R A •
The moon shone brightly over Oakfern as Amira made her way slowly into the heart of the cave. The phosphorescent light of her paint melted into the glossy cave wall as she walked by. Voices could be heard not far off but it was quite di
these are my colors for you.I. Blue.these are my colors for you.4 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Ice blue. Frozen or maybe static, too far away to tell. Longing for something, something better, something more. Maybe what I really wanted was spring, flowers and grass and birdsong and rustling leaves, but I'm not sure. I don't really think so. I think I wanted to break through the ice, the snow, the cold penetrating my fragile little-girl virgin skin and hollow fly-away easy-break bones. I think what I wanted was to see, to feel.
Not to be lost in numbness
and all these masks
to:and i rememberto:3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
standing by the mirror tears
swelling up inside of
me and every breath
was another waste
of space between my
ribcage and my soul
and it's funny, really
how when you lie
to someone, you still
know the truth
and swallow the guilt
in a bowl every single
morning with your
corn-flakes and skim
milk, and in the old
days what i saw in the
was black and white and
wings, you've given
and now i am learning, child
hood again i think they
call this growing
up, learning to
day by day - not day
to day, mind -
to smile in the
in the rain, tense it
up and let it all
away like my
tears and ignore the
scars will stay stuck
on me forever but i
have grown -
i am a woman
pitifulIt's that feeling when the tears just keep on pouring pouring pouring and you don't know how to stop it and you don't know what to do and you aren't even sure what's wrong with you but you hate it and you miss her and you hate yourself and you don't even know what to say but your motivation just crawled into a deep dark hole and your block may be gone but you're not even sure and you don't have the strength to find out, thick eyeliner tears etched onto too-chubby cheeks because you wanted to be pale and thin and skeletal and oh you're going under and you're sick of all the reasons why.pitiful4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
One of those times when.And then there are those nights when I just don't want to breathe anymore, because I'd give, well, not anything, but quite a lot, to have you with me right here right now. You've had those nights too, haven't you? Those moments of I love you so much, I'm sliding into a grainy gray/black empty-looking something that I really wish I could get out of. And I bury my face under the covers but they don't help because they won't make the tears flow like fireflies and full-moon-light and they won't make the thoughts go away because they're just covers, they're just objects serving a function, they don't know how I'm s i n k i n g through this gorgeously dusty air, bittersweet taste of migraines on my tongue, missing you. Missing you. And my mouth is wide open, but the pillow muffles my voice as I cry out your name. And maybe tonight'll be the night that I drown right here in this bed beneath all my patterns andOne of those times when.4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
She reminds you of the wishesIt's not so much that she wants to run away. She just wishes she could feel better -- no, she could be better -- in a place which isn't here. Wherever 'here' is anyway. It's always the wrong place.She reminds you of the wishes4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
She's afraid of the sky. And when you asked her why, she said,
"it just looks so heavy. I'm afraid that one day it will fall
down on me
You could never figure out what she stared at
when she propped her pretty bony elbows on that white windowsill (the paint was chipped but she said that only made it more beautiful, more like home, even though she never quite understood what that word meant) and stayed that way for hours
on end, ignoring the clock
and her surroundings. It was like she had faded out
into a world of her own. And then one day you figured out that she wasn't looking up at that dreaded sky or down at the ground which was too solid for her tastes. She always had this feeling that it would swallow her whole if she let her guard down, and early on already, you w
Like you were saying,Who you want to be is already who you are.Like you were saying,4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Just take a break from the smoking room,
have a cup of clarity,
and take a look inside.
I know I'm an o p t i m i s t , but so are you.
After all, what's happiness? What's good?
Maybe "success," "pleasure," and "death" are all one and the same.
Sometimes, when I see you walking a w a y
I wonder what's behind your smile.
Sometimes, I can almost see it.
Sometimes, I wish you'd tell me, but then I see the c a m e r a s .
They don't miss a single angle.
I like to think h i g h l y of myself,
But you've always had the clearer head
between the two of us.
[it's saved us b o t h before]
So don't go out and tarnish it with more smoke.
aspire, inspire.ii. so you'll find that there's magicaspire, inspire.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in your veins.
and you've always loved
magic. yearned for
so you'll rip
and the magic will
pour out, oh yes.
scarlet ruby red crimson
spurting dribbling running
spilling thick flowing
you'll watch it, entranced.
it sure won't watch [over]
you'll have to clean it
the raw red throbbing magic on your
wrist is what you'll need
to look out for; it might
iii. so you'll find someone who thinks
you're beautiful and tells you
and you'll think she's
it will be wonderful like a
play. you are a literature
student so you know it's a
melodrama. she will want your
heart and you will want her
soul and neither
of you will be entirely
satisfied. she will lose her
patience and you will lose
kindness and you
will lose each
other. she will run away from her
anti-home to help out at her sister's
you will both be
hurt. she will have already told you
she would hur
RapeEmpty insideRape11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have no pride
Why didn't you just take me life
You left me with my mind
Nothing but that horrid morning to find
I told you no
I asked you to stop
You kept on pushing
To get on top
Over powering me
Saying you'll like it,you'll see
It wasnt rape
You didnt make it to that
I wait for the day that you get smacked
Smacked with the charges that I pressed
You've changed my life and what I think
My trust in others has gone down the sink
I dream of you hurting me still
I can only hope you never will
Mentally rape me and leave my abused
Left me on the ground and leave me used
You think you got away with it
Just you wait and see
Now you will learn why
You should never have messed with me!
social anxiety.i'm sorry,social anxiety.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but we can't talk.
not now, not ever.
because i may say
because i may make
you feel very
because i may just
stop breathing for
the rest of the day.
because i may upset
you and you'll run
i hope you understand
i'm only doing this
for your own good.
it's not really for me.
i can just feel it.
and it's not good.
my throat tenses up.
my head throbs around.
my fingertips stop feeling.
i'll stop wishing i were
here and start wishing
i were in the ground.
six and a half feet under
would be much better
than speaking out loud.
silence escapes my lips
as you walk away and regret
even trying again.
Darkest Depths: Part Three - ResurrectionFeaturing Crowe, mentioning Berach and GraínneDarkest Depths: Part Three - Resurrection4 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
Early Autumn, Year 759 of the New Age
The Redwater, Blackwood
The words were familiar. The voice was familiar too. The strength behind it, the authority was enough to make her want to stir, but she was so tired… Her lungs ached, and all of the rest of her was numb with cold. There was no air here.
Open your eyes, child. Your time is not done.
If she’d had any breath, she would have sighed in exasperation. Why? She was done. She was dead. Why couldn’t she just be dead? She’d killed that demon and now she could die. She’d avenged her mentor, killed that stupid Oathbreaker and now it was her time to die.
She is not dead.
Crowe’s eyes creaked open, and light stabbed through them and right i
The yo mama jokes Yo Mama JokesThe yo mama jokes7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
1.Your mama's so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
2.Your mama's so old her birth certificate says expired.
3.Your mama's so old she waited tables at the last supper.
Not hiding nowWinter, Year 755 of the New Age, Oakfern, Swamps at the foot of the WarrenNot hiding now1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
She walked awkwardly, each hoof placed cautiously down on the sodden ground and each step taken with a slow, stilted motion. Her tail was lifted high above her back, the silky tuft hanging down onto her rump, and her neck was extended upwards to the full. The pale doe did not wish to be here.
Linna had no real issue with swamps; she did not mind that she was outside in the winter. The here she did not quite wish to be was Oakfern. She was returning for the first time since the Spring; compelled only by the desire to reconnect with Gealach and the Oracle. She was not seeking company and she had been away from her herd for too long to wish to commune with them. Even so, she was returning and with her return surely there would be other Oakferns.
She had mixed feelings about this. She was happy enough in her own company and she had never yet found a companion in her own herd willing to leave the bor
Must Love CatsMust Love Cats4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Must Love Cats
Fur of gold to pet and rub,
Perfect cat for me to love,
Razor claws and pointed teeth,
All the better made to keep,
A quick brush along silky fur,
Rewarded with a rumbling purr,
Given a glancing nuzzled kiss,
He is mine and I am his.
saveiii. so you said,save3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"let's swallow the world. if it's inside of us, it can't hurt us."
i looked into your mahogany eyes and snorted.
"you really do like the illsuion of control, don't you?"
"well," you snapped back, "at least it won't leave scars."
"okay, i'm sorry i laughed," i replied. "but let me assure you that the scars you can see don't hurt nearly as much as the ones you never will, the ones deeply embedded into the inside of my flesh that can't seem to find their way out."
you shook your head and smiled.
"don't worry," you assured me, "soon you'll never have to hurt again."
"you have no idea what you're doing!" i yelled, but you didn't listen. you never did.
i watched, mesmerized, as you quantified the entire world, dividing it into solids and liquids. hatred, savannas, novels, people, those were all solids; oceans, vodka, blood, happiness, those were all liquids. you worked tirelessly for weeks on end, and whenever anyone asked you what you were doing, you told them
The Baby StatueA few days ago, my Mum bought something incredibly horrifyingly incorrigibly creepy. So creepy, in fact, that I decided that it needed to be chronicled. Lookit. Say it with me now, one, two, three, Aaaaaaarrgghh!The Baby Statue5 years ago in Horror More Like This
I dont know about you, dear reader, but my initial thought was Oh my god kill it with fire!!
Gah. Just gah. Am I the only one scared halfway to death by this thing? Look at its eyes! Whats wrong with its eyes? Why does it have no trousers? Where are the trousers? No really, Im serious, just...just...why? Why? Why make a creepy little baby out of ceramics with no trousers but adult hands?? Is this designed to be given to children? Or adults? Oh so much confusion, so little time! Every time I look at this thing I feel wrong. Like somethings gone wrong in the pit of my stomach.
Early this morning, I found out just why.
Two days ago, Mum came home and deposited tha