Zombie Survival GuideZombie Survival Guide
Daniel H@#&- Demented One
A common staple in many B-movies, Zombies are often depicted as taking over the world. Having watched many of those movies I have decided to compile my own Zombie Survival Guide after reading the one at Kuro5hin.org. This guide will be posted in many places I know of so that if anyone comments I will be able to make a better one later. To date I have not read Max Brook's Zombie Survival Guide, though I intend to. As for the debate I've seen on the Fast Zombies vs. Slow Zombies, this guide is written with Slow Zombies in mind, for if they are really dead bodies they would have series body control issues, and under the assumption that the outbreak is a large one that would last several years at least.
Preparation: (what you did for Y2K)
If you are already preparing for a Zombie invasion, lets face it; you don't need this guide, and are probably a little crazy, like me. Preparing for a Zombie i
Rules on Zombie Survival[ ]1. CardioRules on Zombie Survival5 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
[ ]2. The Double Tap
[ ]3. Beware of Bathrooms
[ ]4. Seatbelts
[ ]5. Double Knot Your Shoes
[ ]6. The Skillet
[ ]7. Travel Light
[ ]8. Get a Kickass Partner
[ ]9. Carry a Change of Underwear
[ ]10. Don't Swing Low
[ ]11. It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint!
[ ]12. Bounty Paper Towels
[ ]13. Shake it off
[ ]14. Pack your Stain Stick
[ ]15. Bowling Ball
[ ]16. Use your Head: Cut off Theirs!
[ ]17. (Don't) Be a Hero
[ ]18. Limber Up
[ ]19. Ideal Protection = Short Hair, Tight Clothes
[ ]20. Get up the Staircase, then Destroy it.
[ ]21. Avoid Strip Clubs
[ ]22. When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out!
[ ]23. Get out of the car and onto the bike
[ ]24. Blades don't need reloading
[ ]25. No Place is Safe, Only Safer!
The Zombie SongBoard up the doorsThe Zombie Song7 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
and grab your shotgun
Fight in the dead wars
This should be fun
The residents are evil
in this house of the dead
load up on ammo
they want to be fed
This is all real
There's no typewriter
Just hand me a cocktail
and a Zippo lighter
Grab your gun
Lock and load
It's already begun
It's time to go
Kill 'em all
It's not just citywide
It's a worldwide brawl
Better not get bit
Or the virus'll spread
So if you do
I'll aim for your head
Whether a 9 millimeter
or a pump action 12 gauge
Doesn't matter the caliber
Shoot 'em in the face
Burn 'em, shoot 'em
break their neck
do whatever it take
to stay unbit
Grab your gun
Lock and load
It's already begun
It's time to go
Find other survivors
Hold up somewhere
You better prepare
Reinforce the door
It's your last stand
Here comes the horde
They're now in inside
Broke through your defense
Others have died
Take the offense
They keep on coming
Round after round
You can't kill them all
The Zombie Chronicles : 0PrologueThe Zombie Chronicles : 07 years ago in Spiritual & Occult More Like This
6th Century, B.C.E.
Mayans predict the end of the world, the date, December, 2012. During which the majority of the human race will perish, but a few will survive. Those who do will come to learn their true sense of spiritual meaning.
George A. Romero begins the Dead Series with the cult classic, Night of the Living Dead.
August 8, 2006.
Dead Rising a zombie survival video game was released for the Xbox 360. It would later be out of production due to similar themes between it and Romeros movies.
April 1, 2008, Georgia.
Wesley Wyndham-Price went before his city counsel, proposing that a zombie outbreak survival plan should be made if and when such an even would occur. The counsel erupted in laughter, and the subject was dropped.
June, 2008, Nevada.
Throughout the month, several mysterious disappearances occurred in cities and towns. Armed law enforcers attempted search and rescue of the criminals responsible but the only evidence found were bones, and
THE Zombie Survival Guide*This part is for newbies. Skip down to the dashes if you already know this stuff.*THE Zombie Survival Guide4 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Okay, so first of all, a zombie is a reanimated corpse that lurches around looking for human flesh. Different breeds may be reasoned with, or even "cured" back to the original personality. However, the most typical zombies:
-Are incoherent. They will not be reasoned with or threatened.
-They don't sleep.
-They seem to like brains, but most will settle for a nice hunk of your flesh.
-The come in different speeds, from crawling to shambling to running. Most are shambling along at a slow slow walk.
-They do not drown or asphyxiate.
-Some will burn easily while others will not burn at all.
-Most zombies will "die" from severe damage to the head.
-It is said they are attracted by sound, but this varies.
-VERY IMPORTANT: The most dangerous thing about zombies is that if they bite you and you die before your brain is destroyed, you will come back to life as ANOTHER ZOMBIE. That's how they spread their numbers
Anthro Shark TFWill walked along the little glass corridor in the aquarium. He was surrounded by a glass tube that people could walk through, immersed underwater, displaying the many hundreds of species of marine ecology, both animal and plant. He was working for the zoo, and right now he was simply traversing the walkway to get to his next workstation. He was the janitor/clean-up guy, It was Sunday, and now he was on his way to his last stop, to clean up the penguins' little part of the aquarium, and he had a student to help him, a high schooler who needed volunteer hours. As he walked along the corridor, he looked around him. There was fish, swimming contentedly, bright coral shining in the noon sun, and big reeds of seagrass dangling from the aquarium floor like the hands of the accursed, waving in the air from below the depths. Will sighed. But, then he noticed something- A tiger shark was following him. It was up next to the glass, swimming for the human. It stopped in front of the glass nearestAnthro Shark TF4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Tails the fox TfThere are some Sonic haters out there...people who are annoyed by those who like the characters so much they draw or make fanfics of them...Tails the fox Tf5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Jack is one of them. He thinks that the games are stupid and very annoying. He doesn't know why so many people like it. How he wished that the franchise was over. That was subject to change...
His friend, Giovanni loved the Sonic series and wanted Jack to at least try it out for once instead of being a game hater.
"Jack, you haven't even played the games or read the comics,let alone watch the cartoons..." Giovanni stated.
"I've seen one cartoon and it was weird and stupid." Jack said in a annoyed tone.
"Was it the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog? I admit it is dumb at first, but it is really funny!"
"Whatever it's stupid, and I'm sure the games and comics are stupid too. How can you have a princess for a love interest I don't know."
"Well that's pretty easy you see..."
"I don't want to hear it Giovanni I really do
RedemptionAccording to physics, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. This can be said in law as well. For example, the death sentence: A life for a life. I learned the hard way that this can be true in life as well.Redemption3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The irony was that it all began on a rather good day.
Finally, I was getting to shoot a real gun. Until then, the best I could have was my air rifle. If anything, I blamed the red tape surrounding the usage of real weapons. Either way, that didn't matter anymore. The school had arranged for the students in the shooting club, including me, to go trap shooting.
I was rather excited, despite the fact that the range was situated near a dragon roost. Initially, I just found them to be intimidating, despite the many reassurances of my friends and family. Instead of confronting my fears, I shied away from them, and simply kept away from dragons in general. Every once in a while, a dragon would land in the school compound for some reason or another. Some wou
Unforeseen consequences Charlie staggered into the small pod, wearing his tattered combat armor which was now coated in his own blood, and slammed a large red button just inside the door. The door slid closed as Charlie staggered over to a small bench and sat down, clutching his side where the creature had stabbed him. After a few seconds of rest, he eased himself over to the first aid kit and reviewed his situation as he did his best to patch himself up.Unforeseen consequences3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Charles Vance was chief of security on board the AFS science vessel Archimedes, currently in orbit around the previously undocumented planet he was now bleeding out on. Charlie would rather have been in the military, as his repeated attempts to enlist show quite clearly. However, a hereditary medical condition prevented him from entering the service, so he begrudgingly abandoned the desire and settled with the closest oc
Endless NightEndless NightEndless Night6 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
An endless night lies ahead
With countless horrid dreams
Of broken hearts and love now dead
Where everything is as it seems
His hopes are gone and she has left
Inside his soul he weeps
And every night he dreams anew
And suffers while he sleeps
A barren wasteland fills his chest
Where his vibrant heart once beat
She took it with her when she died
And left him incomplete
He never got to tell her
How he truly felt
Of how much he loved her
How she made his heart melt
Hed had so many chances
Yet something held him back
Oh why did he not tell her?
Before his world faded to black?
Shed thought herself alone
With no one at her side
No one cared, or so she thought
And in her room she cried
She took her life with one deft slash
Up each arm til they met
And cross her chest she drew a heart
As hers filled with regret
She died never knowing
That her true love dreamed of her
Of seeing her smile and hearing her laugh
His love for her so pure
His peaceful nights now gon
Halo Elite Costume TFIt first came to me from a knock on the door.Halo Elite Costume TF4 years ago in Scraps More Like This
"It's here!" I mentally screamed, jumping off the chair in excitement.
I rushed over to the door, opening it violently to see a rather shocked looking delivery man, standing at the door way with a large, brown parcel in his hands.
Without even asking, I grabbed the clipboard from his hands and signed in the appropriate places, before grabbing the parcel from him and slamming the door in his face.
I eyed him through the peephole as he checked the details of his clipboard carefully, before turning away to his truck to deliver his next set of items.
I quite literally whooped in joy as I turned to open the parcel, for I had been anticipating the arrival of this costume for a week.
A week back, I had been searching the Internet for a place to get a costume for the upcoming Halloween party that my friend, Gerald, was planning to host.
Upon chance, I managed to come across a website selling cheap costumes, with the highest prices being only about
Coyote TfWolves...gotta love them. They're beautiful, smart, the ancestors of dogs have a long history. They're absolutely wonderful. Dogs... gotta love them. They're lovable, cute, adorable, and loyal. They're absolutely wonderful. What about coyotes? Well according to Katelyn from Illinois, they are like dogs and wolves together as she had once upon a time ago took care of a coyote to full health. The coyote was surprisingly affectionate and nice to everyone in the animal center.Coyote Tf5 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Though that was only one coyote, she was captivated by them. She drew coyotes and wrote poems about them. Her boyfriend shared her interest in the animals too. Two coyote fans. What could go wrong? Are they going to be bashed by wolf fans? Heaven knows...
One day the couple went out for a little while and looked at the sunset. Their college was at a good place where the sunset is incred
A Diver's WishA Diver's WishA Diver's Wish3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Ah, the sea. Calm, serene, and blue, its surface was sparkling and undisturbed. The moonlight reflected off of it, giving the water's surface an almost eerie glow Suddenly, a strange black shape appeared. It grew larger and larger until *SPLOOSH!* James, happy about his dive, swam over to the boat and handed his fins to the assistant at the ladder before climbing up onto the deck. He removed his mask and regulator, walking over to his seat. "Man, what a dive!"
"I know, wasn't it?" James turned to face the voice, which was coming from his dive buddy, Rob.
"Yeah. Man, I never get tired of seeing the ocean floor."
"Same here. Shame that we have to head back home to North Dakota tomorrow."
"Yeah " James' gleeful mood dampened a bit upon being reminded of that fact, as there were few places to dive within a medium distance of his house. In fact, none of the diving locales in North Dakota were oceanic dives, which were James' favorite. He could only do those whi
Blood on the Chess BoardTheres blood on the chess board,Blood on the Chess Board6 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
And theres blood on your lips,
And with every move,
My graceful queen slips.
Theres blood on the chess board,
And theres blood in your eyes,
And with every move,
Your little pawns tell lies.
Theres blood on the chess board,
And blood on my dagger,
And with my last move,
You fell back with a stagger.
Wolf Girl - TFCaitlyn headed into the woods after school, her skin prickling as heat spread through her. She shrugged her shoulders, letting the traps of her backpack fall free as the heavy back smashed to the ground, and let loose a groan half of relief and half of pain as the warmth continued to spread through her body. The clothing came next, rough fibers tearing against her sensitized skin as the groan wracked through her again, and she stuffed them into her bag. She barely managed to zip it before another groan escaped her, and the task lost all meaning.Wolf Girl - TF5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The heat rippled through her flesh, skin prickling as silver fur began to form, growing to cover her chest even as new sets of nipples grew along her body. She panted at the mixture of pain and pain, her too long tongue lolling out of her mouth's side as a sudden wrench forced her to her knees. Her legs began to shift, the bone structure altering itself as she pushed herself up on all fours. Feet and hand shrank to paws, tipped in white as her
Twilight vs. Harry PotterI'm tired of people trying to justify the 'Twilight is better than Harry Potter' thing.Twilight vs. Harry Potter6 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
"OMG EDWARD & BELLA 4EVER!" "I WISH MY BF WAS HOT LIKE EDWARD!!!!1!!11"
People, Twilight isn't a book, its firewood. The Harry Potter series out-awesomes it by A LOT.
1. The Harry Potter Characters are believable. The Twilight ones make no sense.
Just a few examples,
Harry is hotheaded, skinny, small for his age, has bad vision, and has the occasional 'idiot moment'. He is willing to give up his girlfriend because he might die, not because he's "dangerous." He grows incredibly well as a character, starting out as an unsure little kid, and ending as a brave, skilled adult wizard who eventually saves the world from being taken over. Sure, he goes through an annoying-whiny stage, but he had a reason (the ministry lying about him and making him a total laughingstock) and when a certain doggie died *sob* he managed to calm down and go on with his life. *coughBellacough*
Zombie Survival SpeechDo you feel safe?Zombie Survival Speech5 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Do you think that the absence of wars and our faithful police force will keep you out of harm's way?
Do you think that the threat of nuclear warfare is nothing more than just a threat?
Do you sleep well after those horror movies knowing that they are not real?
Do you feel safe?
What if I told you to forget about all that? Forget about robberies, forget about rapists and forget about murderers.
Those are not the real threats.
Forget about wars, forget about nuclear holocausts and forget about that friggin' global warming!
Those are NOT the real threats!
The REAL threat is not some potential danger. The REAL threat is not something the governments can control.
The REAL threat is not driven by political interests, only by hunger.
The REAL threat never halts, it requires no rest.
The REAL threat is already out there and has been haunting the living with its festering jaws since the dawn of time.
I ask you again: Do you feel safe?
Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the Cras
Fox and Wolf TFI stood in the corner of the room, watching my classmates have their conversations that lead to nowhere. Talking about the usual; sports, girlfriends, boyfriends, cars, fashions, and more. I didn't join into those kinds of talk because I didn't have anything to talk about. I was the ghost of the school, the alien, the one who didn't belong to any social groups.Fox and Wolf TF5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Even if I did have something to say, I was usually ignored for no reason. Perhaps it's because I was the alien there that people didn't pay any attention to. It got bad when I would play a team game with my classmates because, usually, no one except me knew which team I was on. But it was silly and stupid when my classmates were encouraging me to speak out more, be more social, but how could I have if the same people ignored me, making the whole argument pointless?
'I don't belong here,' I thought. 'I belong somewhere else.'
There' were times, like being ignored, that made me feel like I was being abused by everyon
How to Tell if You're a ZombieHow to Tell if You're a Zombie5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
How to Tell if You're a Zombie
An Article by C. Somer
Many people in today's society, (scientists state as many as 10% in this latest study) are blissfully unaware that they are quickly becoming members of the Walking Dead. Thus this article is written help you, the reader, identify the telltale signs and symptoms of the absence of life forces in your body. Before we begin, please note that this piece is for those who are not yet aware that they are Undead. If you already know this for a fact (i.e., you watch more than eight hours of television a day, or you voted to elect George. W. Bush into his second term) please refer to page 24, How to Sell Your Soul on a Buyer's Market, by Bartholomew Simon.
Symptom One: Strange Cravings. Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night with a sudden need for a glass of water? In the early onset of Zombieism, people have reported a longing for certain Italian dishes once the sun goes do