One time I had this substitute in elementaryAnd we were reading this book in class.
She was talking about how if we didn't know what a word meant we could use the context of the passage.
This kid asked, "What does 'venison' mean?"
The old lady said, "Who can tell me what that word means?"
So I raised my hand and said, "It means 'deer meat.'"
But then she asked, "How do you know?"
I got really confused. "I... um... saw that word in another book?"
"Did you use the context of the passage?"
The passage literally was something like "The soup had maize, venison, and all sorts of vegetables in it"
So I said, "No."
AND THEN THE OLD LADY WAS ALL "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO USE THE CONTEXT OF THE PARAGRAPH YOU CAN'T JUST GUESS WHAT THE WORD MEANS YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE CORRECT."
"Well the dictionary said that venison meant 'deer meat'..."
"Well you won't always have a dictionary at hand. That's why you have to learn how to use the context of the story!"
What a perfect example of the American school system, am I right?
While we're on the subject of dumb kids......in Chinese school there was this sixth grader named Sunny. What's sad is that he's actually a pretty smart kid, but he decided to become this dumb douche. His favorite insult? Yo momma jokes. Yeah. :IWhile we're on the subject of dumb kids...1 year ago in Personal More Like This
One day he said in this cocky voice, "My mom had a master's degree!"
I said, "That's nice."
"Did your mom get a master's degree?"
"Hah! Your mom didn't get a master's degree and mine did!"
I restrained the urge to slap him. Respectable eighth graders don't slap ignorant sixth graders. "So?"
"It means that I'm more likely to get a master's degree than you!"
WHAT A FUCKING DUMBASS. I FELT SO PISSED. SO I DELIVERED THIS ULTIMATE SMACKDOWN. "Are you sure your name is Sunny? Because you don't seem too bright."
He gave me this totally bewildered look, because shots had been fired right then and there. "...Yo momma has diarrhea!" he declared.
I wasn't done with him yet. "So? Diarrhea is a medical condition, it's not a subject of shame or mockery-"
"Shut up, dictionary."
"I think the mor
Chemistry teacher: These atoms are radioactiveTeacher: Can you imagine dragons?Chemistry teacher: These atoms are radioactive1 year ago in Personal More Like This
Guy: NO DON'T MENTION THAT SONG I AM TIRED OF THAT SONG
Teacher: Aw, but don't you like breathing in the chemicals?
Me: He feels it in his bones
Guy: STOP IT
Teacher: *inhales and exhales loudly*
(in case you couldn't tell I really like chemistry class)
'MLP is only for little kids!'*villain dies onscreen*'MLP is only for little kids!'1 year ago in Personal More Like This
*ponies are enslaved and trapped in a time warp*
*pony attempts to murder sister*
*said sister is forced to banish her for 1000 years*
*villain is imprisoned in stone but still aware of his surroundings for 1000 years*
*Tartarus is a real place*
*main character's home for the entire show gets blown up*
*ponies get their magic sucked from them*
*pony watches fiancé get mind-controlled by a succubus*
*several characters go temporarily insane*
*main character learns dark magic*
*sadistic villain corrupts main characters as part of a "game"*
*Dragon Ball Z-style fight*
"Adults who watch MLP need to grow up!"
On the subject of dumb substitutesOne time we had this substitute teach us for two days.On the subject of dumb substitutes1 year ago in Personal More Like This
On the second day she suddenly said, "This math is too hard for third graders!"
And the whole class went "WE'RE FIFTH GRADERS!"
And her eyes just widened and she looked so embarrassed. "Um... Well I did think that you guys were a little too tall to be third graders..."
*attempts to sing FNAF song*WE'RE FORCED TO BE STILL AND PLAY*attempts to sing FNAF song*1 year ago in Personal More Like This
THE SAME SONGS WE'VE KNOWN SINCE THAT DAY
AN ALPACA TOOK OUR LIFE AWAY
wait did I just sing alpaca
I feel like my role in life is to annoy my sister*stuck in traffic*I feel like my role in life is to annoy my sister1 year ago in Personal More Like This
Sister: Are we going to spend all day in this lane? Hey, that rhymes!
Me: Well that joke was lame.
Sister: ...your face is lame.
Me: Well your jokes are a pain.
Me: *taps car window* I'm just going to stare out the window pane.
Sister: ...I hope you get run over by a train.
I feel offendedIn Chemistry class this guy was saying these punsI feel offended1 year ago in Personal More Like This
Some of them were creative, others not so much
And the rich girl said "Wow, he makes better puns than you do!"
And I went "EXCUSE ME MISS DO YOU WANT ME TO CHALLENGE HIM RIGHT NOW DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME"
I saw the perfect opportunity to rap Eminemand I took it XDI saw the perfect opportunity to rap Eminem11 months ago in Personal More Like This
Girl: Hey, Nellie.
Girl: I made a song for you.
Nellie: Ooookay? o_0
Girl: *randomly improvises* Hey Nellie... I like peanut butter and jelly... watching the telly... you have a round belly-
Me: HIS PALMS ARE SWEATY, KNEES WEAK ARMS ARE HEAVY, THERE'S VOMIT ON HIS SWEATER ALREADY, MOM'S SPAGHETTI, HE'S NERVOUS BUT ON THE SURFACE HE LOOKS CALM AND READY TO DROP BOMBS, BUT HE KEEPS ON FORGETTING-
Everyone at my table: :iconwtffaceplz:
It was worth it XD
I had an extremely weird dream...Basically, all of my favorite Minetubers were swallowed by a giant beluga whale.I had an extremely weird dream...1 year ago in Personal More Like This
I had to find these magical gems (which looked suspiciously like the Elements of Harmony) and throw them in the whale's mouth. When I finally did, the whale barfed up all the Youtubers in a flurry of pink magical sparkles.
Then I woke up.
This guy twerked against my back in classOkay I'm exaggerating a little, but it was still really awkward... OAOThis guy twerked against my back in class1 year ago in Personal More Like This
So in chemistry class there was this guy standing behind me, talking to his friend. Except he wanted to sit down, so you know what he did? He decided to sit on the back of my chair.
I felt something rubbing against my back and turned around to see this guy's butt. (Not the best sight in the world... XD) My friend said, "Dude, you're sticking your butt in Vivian's face!"
The guy replied, "No, I'm not sticking it in her face, I'm sticking it in her back! There's a big difference!" To emphasize his point, he proceeded to shake his butt like Miley Cyrus. Against my back. At least it wasn't against my face but still.
The teacher stared at the guy (:iconwtffaceplz and said, "You're still making her uncomfortable, just sit down on the floor!"
This is how I learned that some guys have no sense of personal space. omfg that was so embarrassing, I couldn't stop giggling...
That feeling of pure terrorWhen someone IRL looks at you straight in the eyeThat feeling of pure terror11 months ago in Personal More Like This
"I've read your fanfiction"
Because it's always like WHICH ONE DID THEY READ EXACTLY and OMFG WHAT IF THEY THINK I'M WEIRD XD
Minecraft YouTuber shipfic logic be likeDeadlox cried out as the man backhanded him and kicked him in the ribs. He fell to the floor and stared at Adam pleadingly with wide, teary eyes.Minecraft YouTuber shipfic logic be like10 months ago in Humor More Like This
His red eyes are so beautiful and his face is so cute... Adam thought. WAIT NO I'M NOT GAY!
"I've never kissed anyone before..." Mitch said shyly.
"Same," Jerome replied.
Then they had an intense makeout session.
"WHY ARE YOU KISSING SETO?!" Brice's girlfriend shrieked, tears filling her eyes. "WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?"
"Because I love him, not you!" Brice countered.
"This relationship is over!" Brice's girlfriend yelled.
"I have no idea why she hates you so much," Brice said to Seto.
The doctor looked at his clipboard. "Examining Quentin's injuries from the car crash, he has a severe concussion, several broken ribs, and numerous lacerations. He will be in a coma for several days." Ian's face fell.
*Quentin wakes up after several months*
"This is wonderful!" The doctor exclaime
Girls in Minecraft Youtuber fics be like"I put on my Power Moves Only shirt and my creeper hoodie and my purple-and-yellow amulet and put on my earphones and started listening to 'Revenge' by CaptainSparklez-"Girls in Minecraft Youtuber fics be like9 months ago in Personal More Like This
WE GET IT OKAY YOU OWN WAY TOO MUCH MINECRAFT MERCHANDISE
"I walked into Starbucks"
It's always Starbucks isn't it
"I hate all the other girls in school, they're just so girly and boring!"
oh my gosh you have instantly become a likable character in my eyes
"I just sat in the back of the classroom ignoring everyone and listening to 'New World' by SkyDoesMinecraft"
don't we all
"I posted YouTube videos of me playing Minecraft, I just hit a million subscribers!"
and yet you act shocked when Mitch claims to have heard of you
"'We need to keep this relationship a secret,' Sky whispered, kissing my neck."
"'Hey,' this guy at the bar said, handing me a drink, 'you want this?' 'Sure!' I said, taking a sip. It tasted really weird, not like alcohol at all, but I kept drinking it. I could trust this guy I
The Happy Meal Box creeps me outI can imitate itThe Happy Meal Box creeps me out1 year ago in Personal More Like This
But holy crap it's terrifying
One time I was at a McDonalds which had a large fish tank
And I looked at the fish tank and almost screamed
You know what was on the other side of the tank?
A Happy Meal box
A HAPPY MEAL BOX WAS SMILING AT ME THROUGH THE GLASS
FORGET THOSE POOR FISH, I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK
IT WAS LIKE "THIS IS LIKE THE ROMEO AND JULIET MOVIE WITH LEONARDO DICAPRIO IN IT WHERE ROMEO AND JULIET MEET EACH OTHER ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF A FISH TANK, ONLY JULIET'S GOING TO GET MURDERED IN THE END"
THAT WAS WHAT IT WAS LIKE
Jason in Minecraft Youtuber fics*Careless Whisper plays whenever he appears*Jason in Minecraft Youtuber fics9 months ago in Personal More Like This
*swaggers into the scene* Me on my way to steal your Mary Sue OC
*leans seductively against the counter* they call me an ass-tronaut for a reason
*takes off shirt* In space, no one can hear us scream
*unzips jeans* you wanna see my rocket
Jason: TAKE MY HAND
Girl: *takes his hand*
Jason: *blasts away into space with rainbows coming from his jetpack* CHEATING AFFAIRS
*is the mailman in this vine* https://vine.co/v/OhiFqVvBIKi
XD SETO AND WEEDLIONXD SETO AND WEEDLION1 year ago in Personal More Like This
WEEDLION'S REPLY JUST MADE IT BETTER
'What's your learning style-'PUNS'What's your learning style-'10 months ago in Personal More Like This
"How do you memorize facts and stuff-"
"How do you study for tests-"
"What's a helpful way to remember stuff from the notes-"
I want to write a book with a guy and a girl...make them side characters as part of the comic relief, and have them be the best of buddies. By best buddies I mean almost inseparable friends. They are just so freaking close.I want to write a book with a guy and a girl...9 months ago in Personal More Like This
As the series goes on, people will constantly ask me if they are/will fall in love with each other and I will just shrug my shoulders and say "Maybe, maybe not, I already have it planned out but I'm not revealing anything" and people will think "oh they're going to get together she just doesn't want to spoil it for us"
Then there'll be a scene where the characters think they're about to die and they're freaking out and one of them says to the other "I have something that I've been meaning to tell you for awhile but I never could because I didn't know what you'd think of me"
And the other one says "Really because I was just about to say the same thing"
"Let's say it at the same time on the count of three"
"1... 2... 3!"
And the guy shouts "I'M GAY" and the girl shouts "I'M A LE
So we were playing Cards Against HumanityAnd the black card said "Daddy, why is Mommy crying?"So we were playing Cards Against Humanity8 months ago in Personal More Like This
I put down "A defective condom"
Me: *sees people kiss in romance movies*Me: MehMe: *sees people kiss in romance movies*9 months ago in Personal More Like This
Me: *sees otp finally kiss for the first time*
Me: OH MY GOOOOD *squeals incredibly loudly*
Mom: *stares at the screen* I never expected you to like that kind of stuff
Me: NO MOM YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT'S THE OTP THE SHIP IS REAL
If Mitch was in schoolTeacher: Here's a handout for you to take notes on-If Mitch was in school1 year ago in Personal More Like This
Mitch: *tears it apart and throws it on the ground* I DON'T NEED YOUR HANDOUTS
What happens when a writer goes to hellThey are forced to listen to their younger, inexperienced self recite their old worksWhat happens when a writer goes to hell8 months ago in Personal More Like This
MPREG fic logicDeadlox: I... I'm pregnant...MPREG fic logic1 year ago in Personal More Like This
Sky: Wait really?
Deadlox: I didn't want to tell you earlier. :c I was afraid you'd get mad at me...
Me: I think he would be more concerned with the fact that YOU ARE A BIOLOGICAL MALE AND HAVE SOMEHOW CONCEIVED A BABY WITH ONLY SPERM AND YOU ARE CARRYING IT WITHOUT A VAGINA AND YOU SOMEHOW FOUND THIS OUT instead of the fact that neither of you are ready to raise a child