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So I was REALLY excited Ava’s Demon was having a design contest… I’d wondered what mine would look like when I first started reading and now I had an excuse to design her! Yesss!! “ヽ(´▽｀)ノ”
I really really really love themes and hidden meanings and the way the canon characters both match yet also foil an aspect of their demons. I really wanted my demon to represent both good, bad, and neutral things. So ok lets see how well I can summarize this oh gosh.
Notimibia is an anagram of Ambition, and Aperio is from the Greek word Aperios/Apeiron, meaning infinite.
I struggle with my ambitions, anxiety, and self doubt- Ambition is a close word to me because it’s powerful and overwhelming. I drew myself with my hand on her arm because I’m afraid of her and her power, but I also depend on her. I liked how ambition is infinite like the galaxy, which I also associate with; So my irises are space-y blue-green with a stylized yellow star like a compass rose!
I wanted her to be a condensed powerhouse- A supernova star, with a boiling core of energy and potential. Our element is light/lightning, which I figured was a good way to summarize all that “potential energy”. Light can be invigorating, but also unstable under pressure. When I’m drawing energy from her, I’d glow from my eyes/mouth/nose/hair. Then extreme situations would I start conducting electricity and zapping things (in the way that Ava’s extremes include vomiting lava and burning stuff!) The times I do let her “help” me, I get wired and go very fast. But afterwards there is a crash and a long period of fussing and being exceptionally jittery/nervous and reluctant to try again.
I’ve always associated with fairies, which is why my door is on my back where wings would be and are vaguely wing-shaped. Also, it’s incredibly hard to reach from its location, and equally hard to open because the handles are conductive. No pain no gain, right? Just need to be ambitious to open it...
For Notimbia, I decided to blend that into her (as some space fairy alien race) but also bring in something more sturdy than the bees and moths I usually liken myself to- So I chose a beetle; in the way her skin is sectioned, her serrated horns, and her multiple arms- which also double as a metaphorical “more hands = more opportunities"
I wanted a visual dichotomy of how she’s both masculine and feminine in the opposite way I am. Tall vs short, thick vs thin, strong vs petite, short hair vs long hair, multiple eyes vs bad vision, ambition vs apprehension. She has the strength to do incredible things, but as per terms of our pact she’s restrained by me, which is why her gauntlets are chained together. (But our pact was willing)
Also, I figure the inside of my mindspace would be like space and a surreal fantasy forest with a lot of liquid bodies of stars, space, fairy-type sprite beings, and glowy bits. A star forest!
If I had to pick a sin for her to represent… Ahh, it’s pretty hard. I’m personally most like Sloth (apprehension, inaction) but I feel like this would be best associated with Greed, as in constantly wanting to do more/be better/not being good enough. I’d have to spend days re-configuring how this design represents that though omg… I headcanoned that other demons that were an embodiment of an emotion or state of being were lesser forms of the sins- so not quite as high in rank, y’know? But yeah!
Notim herself is a very ‘tough love’ personality. She’s ‘less talk more action’ and she can get very frustrated with the way I refuse to act when she would have. She’s confident, decisive, and impatient when I’m the opposite. She also a bit self-serving and unsympathetic of “distractions”, whereas I can’t seem to let little things go. She’s tried being cruel, parental, a teacher, and a drill sergeant with me- all with mixed results. She’s a bit reluctant to be outright gentle at first, but learns a little patience and kindness do go a long way in motivating her less-than-brave host.
When she wasn't a ghost, she was a warrior, a soldier, and a leader or general of some kind- She was moderately less exasperated and more… well, freely ambitious! She also enjoyed competitive alien sports. (Which naturally, I can’t even look at without getting nervous, nevermind participating in. She thinks I’m the most timid unmotivated space-lamb that she’s ever seen.)
I just wanna be your lover
No matter how it ends, no matter how it starts
Forget about your house of cards— House of Cards by Radiohead
Fall off the table, and get swept under
With their flipped images, high-ranking cards can represent duality, secrets, and— almost literally— a two-faced nature.
SamSara at it’s core is very much about secrets and what drives us to hide ourselves in a place where appearance and school hierarchy is really everything. This is a story about finding how to be honest, how to be vulnerable, and what brings out the best and worst in a person.
Ace of Hearts: The suit of hearts is ruled by Spring and Fire. It represent emotions, love, youth, and vulnerability. Aces represent the beginning, desire, and the individual. This is a passionate, optimistic card.
Sara represents the lowest and the highest value card, much like day and night. She’s dormant and withdrawn, sheltering a wounded heart- but shines brightest and is at her strongest when honest, heart exposed.
Queen of Diamonds: This suit is ruled by Autumn and Earth. Diamonds represent money, entertainment, responsibility, security, judgement, and values. This card is known to be a flirt and a gossip.
Blaire’s marionette strings represent the control she has over several different things, and the consequences of losing that control and freedom to puppeteer them, getting tangled in her own web.
Jack of Clubs: Clubs are ruled by Summer and Air. Clubs represent irresponsibility, youth, and intellectual growth. Jacks are the adolescent, the young boy. This card sometimes indicates a young, playful admirer.
Tammy’s emotions are young and theatrical, represented by masks. Masking her negative emotions suggests she cannot properly express them, confront them, but the dramatization of them will still keep attention on her.
King of Spades: This suit is ruled by Winter and Water. Spades is the suit of wisdom and maturity; they represent transformation, conflict, and acceptance. This card is an authoritative, ambitious, self-serving card.
Gwen is an ironfist; controlled and steadfast- much as a ruling King. But much like water against a stone, her resolve too can wear away and the self-preserving teacher finds herself worn thin after battle.
I knew I was out too far,
Beyond the planets and the stars,
An interstellar oversight of mine.
But how was I to know,
That gravity would let me go?
And send me through the universe alone,
Where fools roam.
But when my lonely chromosomes
Swallow me like a black-hole,
I will take your hand and I will know.
That you and me reverse the polarity
Of the forces pulling me from home.
And I’ll never go,
Or leave you out on your own.
You caught me so far out.
By some cosmic fortune found.
You said, ‘Come back down,
There’s love here now.
I’m your way back around.
We’re Wild Animals — Weaver at the Loom