Do you ever feel like...Do you ever feel like...Do you ever feel like...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You have no energy to get up and walk to the other side of your room.
You wake up in the morning and would beg to go back to sleep.
You would storm out of a classroom screaming, crying and swearing- if stupid questions like "what's wrong? What happened?" (or being screamed at) weren't asked after.
You cry. You cry. And You cry.
People don't like me - That's what you think.
People don't care. Don't love. Don't want.
The second you find a problem you can't fix or control yourself.
Bitch. You are a bitch. Ugly bitch. Fat. Stupid. Mean. Heartless. Selfish.
SHUT UP! FUCK THE HELL OFF! - you can't control your thoughts.
The second you get annoyed at someone. "I HATE YOU!" But you don't.
You hate yourself.
You think about where you could be, would be, wouldn't be.
You think about death and wonder about death.
You think about cancer and all those illnesses out there.
You store everything about death- suicide- in your head like a cabinet file.
You can stare off into the
Drabbles Collection 01Title: PossessionDrabbles Collection 014 years ago in Romance More Like This
Fandom: Final Fantasy XIII
Content: Fang x Lightning
Fang shifted lightly in bed, enjoying the cool whiff of air on bare skin. Emerald colored eyes scanned the lithe forms next to her.
To the Oerban beauty, it had been a shame. Skin as white as porcelain, hidden under a blanket and clothes; why couldn't her partner sleep naked, just like her, she thought to herself with a silent huff. With an upcoming grin, her fingers crawled along the hindrance, pulling it away to gloat over that marvelously carved shoulder.
Fang's lips settled down on snow-white landscape, leaving the faintest of kisses. Possessive? Well maybe. She couldn't help it.
She Loves The WayShe loves the way her hair falls in globs, not tendrils.She Loves The Way2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She loves the way her hair doesn't fall, it floats.
She loves the way she dresses in pink.
She loves the way she dresses with her eyes closed.
She loves the way she squeaks when she's startled.
She loves the way she hisses when she's hugged.
She loves the way her eyes light up when she's asked about the significance of her research.
She loves the way her eyes darken when she's asked about the meaning of her lyrics.
She loves the way she's painfully straightedge.
She loves the way she pushes her over that edge.
She loves the way she thinks with her brain.
She loves the way she leads with her heart.
[But more than anything
She loves the way she loves her in return.]
The Symptoms of SuicideHow can you tell when someone wants to die?The Symptoms of Suicide5 years ago in Emotional More Like This
Are there physical signs for people who have given up on life, like symptoms of some terminal disease?
Maybe you can see it in their eyes, that ashy grey colour that indicates the total absence of any form of hope.
Maybe you can smell it on them; a sour, despondent smell, similar to the stench of turned milk.
Perhaps you can hear it in their voice, the lack of electricity, the lack of life.
A dead voice.
The voice of a suicidal person should sound like a note played on a harpsichord. Tinny, listless, flat. An unpleasant noise that makes your skin crawl. Nails on a chalkboard.
But maybe there aren't any signs.
Maybe the nicest boy in class is the same boy who gets abused by his step dad every day after school.
Maybe the girl with the infectious laugh is the same girl who is too afraid to tell anybody that she got raped because she still blames herself.
Maybe the boy who does charity work for homeless people is the same boy who cries himself to
Sleeping InEyes fluttered open, finding themselves staring into gray, flawless skin. Slender, strong arms were wrapped around her protectively, and she knew as well, possessively. She smiled, remembering how long it took her to convince her partner to actually lie in bed without floating. Her work had taken at least a month, and it was a tough feat especially for the vampire, seeing how it was a habit. And now, now she found herself rewarded every morning.Sleeping In3 years ago in Romance More Like This
She looked up, her fingers gliding over the cold skin. Her jaw, chin, perfectly sculpted cheeks...beautiful lips. Fingers lingered there, running across the bottom lip, remembering how they worked wonders during the night. They would always bite, nibble and smother her passionately, hungrily. The vampire was always the impatient, hungry one. But last night...last night was different. She was gentle last night, taking it slow to build up the intensity, the passion, the meaning. It was rare, and the princess loved it.
She rested her hand on
FLight ~ Chapter ThreeVanille wandered around the ruins of Paddra looking for the two women. She knew they would most likely be together, but she didn't have a clue where they were going to be. Sazh crawled out of hit tent to take a big stretch.FLight ~ Chapter Three3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Morning, Sazh!" vanille chirped. Sazh looked her way and smiled. "Morning, where the girls?" vanille shrugged her shoulders and said. "Lightning wandered off, I think towards the ruin buildings. She didn't want stay outside. Oh!"
She clicked on. Vanille ran to the ruins and shouted for the two love birds. But she wasn't getting an answer or any clue as to where they were. She was only getting the monsters attention, even Titan could hear her. Vanille searched the buildings and soon enough she found them.
"Aww " she whispered when she saw the girls cuddle up together. She really didn't want to wake them up. But had no choice.
"Guys come up. Wakey wak
RDS 3 Day Event - Self Harm AwarenessWelcome!RDS 3 Day Event - Self Harm Awareness1 year ago in Settings More Like This
Rising Dawn Stables are holding their first event, and in respect of those suffering with the illness, will be raising awareness of Self Harm and Depression.
The Event will be held over three days, and will include Show Jumping, Dressage and Cross Country. Competitors can have accommodation provided on site, free of charge, for both them and their horse(s). All of the events will take place on Rising Dawn Stables' premises, in the indoor dressage arena, outdoor show jumping arena and cross country course.
Show Jumping: Horse must be wearing appropriate tack, and rider must be wearing something orange. Rider must use appropriate safety equipment. Will take place in the outdoor show jumping arena (sand based) next to the indoor arena building. It's a brilliantly sunny day with a few whispy clouds stretching across the sky. Lots of birds have appeared from the nearby woods, and the jumps are all themed around depression suppo
The Love of a Sister - FFXIIIThe Love of a Sister - FFXIII5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Serah woke up that morning, the bright sun shining relentlessly in her room. Her fiance, Snow Villers, was out of town, and it was her chance to finally spend some long needed time with her older sister, Lightning.
She quickly got dressed and headed down the hallway to her sister's room. She knocked softly on the door, then entered the room. She timidly approached the slumbering figure that was sprawled underneath the covers. Her sister had always been one to sleep, and it didn't help that she had just spent countless days without sleep saving Cocoon, and even herself.
She nudged the oblivious figure, and in return she got a soft groan.
"Not.. Not now Serah Must Sleep"
"C'mon, wake up!"
"No I'm too tired Serah "
The sleeping figure shifted, moving farther away from the voice.
"Wake up, Claire!"
The figure suddenly stopped, then without warning, grabbed Serah's unsuspecting arm. Lightning pulled her onto the bed, "What did you just call me, Serah?!" Lightning orde
Measurement Theory and Competitive InstinctMeasurement Theory and Competitive InstinctMeasurement Theory and Competitive Instinct1 year ago in Humor More Like This
Serah was used to a certain level of idiocy from her sister and Fang. In fact, she’d come to expect it. How else could you describe two people who engaged in freaky eye sex on such a regular basis but still hadn’t done so much as kiss? Yes, they were idiots – sweet, loveable idiots.
But this was a new low in what she and Vanille had dubbed the Great War of Fang and Lightning Related Unresolved Sexual Tension (GWFLRUST, pronounced gwu-ful-rust).
She and Vanille had come back from another shopping trip to find Lightning and Fang on the couch. This was not, in itself, unusual. What was unusual was that Fang was busy groping Lightning’s chest – and Lightning wasn’t punching her face in or returning the favour.
“Uh… are we interrupting you guys?” Serah hadn’t even noticed that she’d dropped her shopping bags.
“Quiet.” Fang let go of Lightning’s left breast
Why Don't You Understand?Do you understand what it's like to be dead among the living?Why Don't You Understand?2 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
When your heart keeps beating against its will?
The feeling is surreal, standing in the crowd of those who claim to be living.
Where everyone around me has a fear of the end; of death.
That's not me.
I see a beauty in the decay of life, a peace even.
Unlike the living, I understand death is a release from the world of pain we live in.
An understanding I wish to convey.
The fear I see in the eyes of others; I don't understand like I used to.
All fear is based on the same thing; a fear of loss.
Fear of pain?
Only a fear of losing comfort.
Fear of failure?
Only a fear in losing what you hope to achieve.
Fear in death?
Only a fear in losing this world.
But when you have nothing to lose, what is there to fear?
A dead among the living, oh the things I wish I could teach you.
Make you understand.
But the words w
Confession of a SoldierConfession of a SoldierConfession of a Soldier1 year ago in Romance More Like This
I know I’m supposed to meet you at our usual place. You know that little café we found one day while taking a walk? I’ll be late today and I’m sorry in advance because you know me; I’m never late and I hate people who are. It just makes me realize that you’re always late when we meet somewhere even though you know how much I hate it. You just walk in there without a care in the world, making sure you’ve been desired enough and you can probably see by the hard set of my jaw how annoyed I am but it doesn’t bother you in the slightest. Seriously, there are days where I wonder why I still put up with you but I do.
This time the tables are turned and I’m the one who won’t show up in time and I’ll even use a white lie to cover my lateness, which is unusual for me. I’ll pretend I had stuff to finish at work even though it’s not the case. Everything’s done and my des
Willing to WaitWith her, everything seemed beautiful.Willing to Wait4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
The touch of her hair, the smell of her body, the taste of her lips, the sound of her voice, and the feel of her skin.
You sat with her in your basement, and she curls into you. The television is playing some rerun, but it means nothing to either of you. It felt like forever since you had alone time with her. People were always around and that made it so hard for you to have time with her.
She looks up at you, and reaches her head up to kiss you. You lean in to kiss her, and she kisses with a passion. She was quite but she always let you know what she wanted. So she began to push her tongue into your mouth.
You reciprocate, playing with her tongue, and smiling into the kiss. She moves her hand up to feel your breasts, and you hold her head firmly. You begin to kiss down her pale neck and she removes her hands from your breasts.
When you reach her collar bone, you reach to remove her shirt. Pulling it over her head, and leaving it on the ground. Th
.death has a way.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
of assuring you
that he is your
he's the only
one that will
stay with you
reach the end
.he stood on the shore,.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and told the sea he loved her;
the jealous wind tore his
voice in two
Dash For Cash DerbyThis is a M-RS hosted event. To see full details please click here to go to the original journal entry.Dash For Cash Derby2 years ago in Settings More Like This
~ Dash for Cash Derby~
Open to all horses
Date: March 2nd- March 31st. Registration must be sent in by March 27th
Events:Flat Racing and Harness Racing. Natural and Unnatural. Both Genders.
Restrictions: Light Breeds, horses over 2 Years old for Track Racing, Horses over 3 years old for Harness Racing. Jockeys 18 years old and up.
Each race has an Unnatural and Natural Division of each and is run separately.
6 Furlongs ( Sprinter)
Pig Dash Race
10 Furlongs ( Distance)
Harness ( 1/2 Mile. Must be 3 Years old or older)
Girl Scouts Honor
A nice, warm summer day with a slight chance of rain in the evening when the
Cute part threeCute part threeCute part three2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
After hauling both Vanille and Hope into Serah and Snows house my back ached. Of course my goddamn house burns down so now I have to be Vanille and Hopes personal babysitter. They are both drunk and are still in their wedding clothes for Etro’s sake! I threw Hope on Serah and Snows coach in their living room. Fang tossed Vanille on the smaller futon beside him. Hope fell asleep as soon as his head hit the soft cushions but Vanille… not so much.
“But it ishnt my bedtime!” Vanille pouted.
I shook my head and walked to the kitchen where Serah and Snow are staring at the two wasted newly wedded.
“So why are they here?” Serah asked with her eyebrow raised.
I scowled and pointed at Fang. “SHE BURNT MY HOUSE DOWN!” Serah’s eyes widened.
“That was what that smoke was!?” Snows jaw hit the floor.
Fang ran up to me. “I was trying to cook a snack!”
I spun to face her furiously. “You couldn’t
Suicides Learning To SpeakIt’s 6 a.m. A girl is beginning the journey back from Oz, anchored to life by the whirr and beep of machines and tubes. Above her emaciated body, nurses pace, write on clipboards, click their heels and purse their lips. She is oblivious. Her mind drifts in freefall, stuck in an eggshell skull wrapped in nasal gastric tubing and an oxygen pipe forced down her throat like a synthetic umbilical cord. Somewhere, neurotransmitters are sewing themselves back into conscious awareness. There is a person lost somewhere in that body. There is a mind overboard in a black sea, sending up a flare. The nurses are afraid that she will stay in there forever. A family jostles at the side of the bed in the cramped, generic hospital room. All the King’s horses and all the King’s men… I don’t need ruby shoes to find my way home. My name is Ruby, the nurses click their heels and my family makes the wish.Suicides Learning To Speak2 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I’m finding my way back to consciousness through the sound
I Don't KnowI don't know what to do.I Don't Know2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't how I feel.
My moods change so much- I can't describe it.
I can't explain anything.
I can't see a logical reason.
I can't keep trying to figure it out.
It's not bipolar.
It's not depression. Not all the time.
I have anger.
I have anxity.
I have self hate.
I have stress.
I have happiness.
I have hyperness.
I have depression.
I have suicidal thoughts.
I have hurt myself.
I can't explain it.
There are time when I think. Oh My God. I'm so depressed. I wanted was thinking of suicide. I was walking home so depressed. I sobbed my eyes out. Then was... Okay.
And then there are times when I think. How could I have thought like that? How could I want to die?
And then other times when I just think of death. Of depression, of every mental illness and try figure out.
Other times I think. Killing myself. Please. I give up. I can't even do that. I can't even starve myself. I can't even...I can't even... that's what is for everything.
Then other days I think. Bitch. Fu
It Isn't BeautifulI used to cut myself.It Isn't Beautiful1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Some of the marks faded,
But some stayed
And now I’m forever jaded.
People have kissed my scars,
Others have turned away
But here is what I have to say;
It isn’t beautiful.
When it hurts to walk
Because your thighs are bleeding,
When you can’t talk
About the help you’re needing;
It isn’t beautiful.
When it’s boiling outside
But you have to wear sleeves
Because of your bloody little
It isn’t beautiful.
When your friends
Are scared of you,
Of the things you do;
It isn’t beautiful.
When you feel so worthless,
So down and out,
Used up and empty,
And all you do is shout
But nobody hears,
Because you silence it
It isn’t beautiful.
When they find out
And you see how much,
How deeply they care
And they hate themselves
For not being aware;
It isn’t beautiful.
When they take it away,
And monitor you
And you’re itching all over,
Desperate for it,
For one last hit
Arguing Is Half The FunArguing Is Half The Fun (Making Up Is The Other Half)Arguing Is Half The Fun2 years ago in Romance More Like This
Fang loved a good argument. She also loved Lightning. So a good argument with Lightning was like Christmas come early. It didn’t matter what they argued about. It could be about tomorrow’s weather. It could be about what brand of toothpaste they should buy. Heck, it could even be about whether they spent enough time in bed.
Lightning, of course, wanted them to spend more time in bed. Fang disagreed – if only because she thought Lightning looked good in the throes of passion in the kitchen… the shower… the couch… hell, Lightning looked pretty awesome in the throes of passion anywhere.
Lightning had a certain glow about her during an argument, and Fang couldn’t get enough of it. Perhaps it was the imminent threat of bodily injury. Fang always had loved danger. Or perhaps it was the way Lightning’s cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkled when she was doing her level best to prove F
mental illnesstoday's a grey day, only grey doesn't exist.mental illness5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
what's bad is i have enough pills on my nightstand to kill myself. what's bad is i'm impulsive and depressed. what's good is they're all prescribed to me, and what's better is i'm too scared to try. i gained a pound, you know. it makes me want to die. if you think i'm kidding, you're dead wrong, but not as dead as i want to be.
let me tell you a little something about mental health: it's less about what's right and more about what's wrong.
using mental filtering, you can have a thousand beautiful things and only see the one ugly zit, pustular and violent red, on the face that is your life.
with black and white thinking, it's either you eat more than you think you should or you eat nothing. there is no grey. there is only too much and too little and you suck either way.
with catastrophizing, you take a bad situation and look at it t