/.there is no amount/.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
that can keep you
out of my thoughts.
to see you
is to see stars,
and i'm dizzy enough
with the image of you
right before dawn
stuck in my head,
but i want more.
i have the instinctive need
to run a finger down your
neck, to memorize
how you look when you
smile, just so that i can
write about you,
to make you realize
how spectacular you are.
we aren't well-written.i can envision time fluxing backwards:we aren't well-written.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
words snuffed, swallowing dreams,
choking on the catatonic fear that
you just might love someone a bit
more than you love me.
maybe if i destroy those damned
stars, you won't have anything
else to write about.
Foolish Enough To Be LovedI'd dig into my woundsFoolish Enough To Be Loved1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
just to make you stay,
cough up my self-inflicting wishes
to have your arms locked around me forever,
because your departures poison my thoughts.
I want to claw my eyes out,
disease my lips &
rip off my ears,
because your existence
will be the death
of me if i ever see
if every second was a perfect soundI realised yesterdayif every second was a perfect sound9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
that there is no time in life for half-measures –
when I love people I want to love them loudly enough that they know it.
I want to tie my heart to the sleeves of every passer-by
so that they understand how much I want them around.
I want to write love on scrap paper and tuck it into the crevices in walls like a birthday wish
and never let misanthropy grow where it shouldn’t be.
The sun burns itself just to send light out for thousands of miles
and keep us alive.
I want to try.
.i'm nothing more than a demon,.7 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
clinging onto your membranes,
preying on the soul you held
for ransom from me.
we used to make butterfly handsYou told me that when I was older I would understandwe used to make butterfly hands1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and I looked up and saw the sky in paper planes and periwinkle blue.
I reached out and drew a line for you;
traced it all over the globe and back to your wise heart
so that when I was older, my head full of understanding,
I’d be able to navigate back to my place there
and touchdown, settle down with you.
You said that our worlds were too distant,
you with your job and bills to pay and me with my honey-sweet dreams.
I nodded and pulled back my flyaway hair
thinking that if we’re alive together, against all the odds and centuries alive together,
that’s close enough for me.
I kissed you and you told me I was great. Carousel great. Sandy-toes great. Smiles on a Saturday, belly-laughs great.
You snapped the string and flew away.
I’m older and I do understand
that dotted lines get tangled or just fall away completely and
you were right when you said that things aren't quite as pretty
as they are in my party-h
InfinityI’m afraid that you’ll love me like the wind loves daisies,Infinity1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
blowing them over the edge of their precipice overlooking the sea.
I’m afraid you’ll meet me sadly at the bottom and lap the water like a question against my crumpled stem
when the strength of your love has left me numb.
You ask me what I’m afraid of, and I’m afraid that you’re a nebula spanning the vast darkness of space
while I’m just a lonely speck of sand;
too small not to get swept up in your currents and dragged out into the rolling ocean
and lose myself forever beneath your stars.
ResplendentToday the watercolours of your innermost thoughtsResplendent11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
bled through the paper walls that you’d left
in hope that no one would peel back your layers
and find you at your softest spot.
I saw that nothing makes you radiant. You just are.
Today, I traipsed through galleries
that promised to show me something sublime.
You spoke and I learned how to breathe around you
and that simple thing felt like dancing.
If anything is incredible, you are.
Today you gave me vermilions and ultramarines
to begin to fill in a picture of you
but you’re not a scene behind a stained-glass window.
You’re indefinable and indestructible.
Today I learnt to see life as beautiful, because you are.
Chance MeetingsWe didn’t meet in a wild rain. We met in a corridorChance Meetings1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
with bandaids on our arms from the blood tests
but you made me feel torrential,
like beyond all of this or inside all of this
we’re still young and burning and free.
We don’t feel sad anymore.
Sadness is just the tip of the iceberg, a thin mist that covers our everything.
All moments are sad but so many thoughts and feelings swirl within that sadness,
a complexity of love and of laughter and happiness, even.
Time might be short but our hearts are expansive.
I am a vast ocean. With a tip of your head you’re my travel plan;
holding tickets to a future that I didn’t think I’d find here
you’re the nightlife in London and breakfast in France.
We didn’t meet under starlight but like a stranger on the street corner
I knew that I would find you
wrapped up in me when it’s too cold to sleep
and our chances too bleak to go home.
We didn’t meet in a nightclub but it’s loud,
ContinuumI probably miss you like I miss painting caves,Continuum1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
like an ache somewhere deeper than inside my bones
too ingrained in myself to recall.
I probably kissed you when our bodies knew strength
like the spears in our hands
and then when the snow melted and the world dawned green, green, green.
I probably laughed with you when we saw pyramids pierce the desert skies
and again when we saw masts on the horizon.
I probably held your hand when Rome came down in flames.
I probably stood on pyres with you and sang a prayer for you
and knew your soul like the words in a bottle,
like a bird in the sky,
and I surely held my breath and knew that our flight would never end.
I will wander with you through cities someday soon
and I will dance with you through every uprising.
I will kiss you hard when the atmosphere disintegrates
and land beside you on Europa,
where we will build the history of a new world
and I will love you through all of it, always.
The PainI watch the pain seep out my arm,The Pain1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
The tears and memories flow.
Despite how it looks,
It causes no harm,
It relieves my pain,
For a second I watch it all go.
I am sick of doing this to myself,
This is where I always turn.
I hear a voice tell me its okay,
Everytime I turn to the blade.
I now feel so numb,
the blood starts to flow,
There’s a minute of happiness,
but the scars are the only thing left to show.
I watch the pain seep out my arm,
The tears and memories flow.
Despite how it looks,
It causes no harm,
It relieves my pain,
For a second I watch it all go.
Shards of my dreamsShards of my dreamsShards of my dreams11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Sharp as blades
Cutting through my flesh
Cutting through my mind
Making me bleed
Making me cry
In pain and despair
My dreams have changed
Now they're nothing
FlashesSometimes when I touch something warmFlashes1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
it’s your soft skin that I feel in the shower again.
I draw my hand away like it’s been scalded and flit back
to the present. Safe. The moment’s gone.
The past is a vision of bubbly and rings, ski-trips and promises that sounded so full –
the future is a whirlwind of parties and high spirits,
calendar dates, change and someone else’s sweet grin.
But now, darling. Now is a lonely thing.
SaturdayYou draw smiling faces on train windowsSaturday10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
because even city transport can’t get away unaffected
by your cheer.
I like you, I like you, I like you
when you’re tired like moth-wings and fresh like spring mornings
and even my worst days are lovely
when you’re near.
The Fault In Our Veinsi fall in love withThe Fault In Our Veins9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
you the way a bullet
kills you all at once
& i'll hate you the
way you wait like
an open wound to
finally drip that
last drop of blood.
as obvious as neon signsLast night I picked you up from a glass-littered street corneras obvious as neon signs1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and helped you wipe bile from your strands of flaxen hair.
You sang under your breath as you stumbled into the car.
I turned corners while streetlights shimmered in the drops on the windscreen
and you fell asleep trying to tell me that you used to know better than this.
It’s not that I mind
(I’d spend every night combing seedy cities if it meant keeping you safe)
your eyes haven’t smiled in a year now
and I wish that I knew what it would take to make you happy
because between cheap liquor, cold nights and bad lovers
I haven’t got a clue.
BurdenThe cuffs get tighter,Burden1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I try to wiggle free.
I can no longer be a fighter,
With these chains bounding me.
This burden is so heavy,
I can’t bear it anymore.
More and more I am ready,
To die forevermore.
I don’t know what to do,
I’m sick of living with this pain.
I need some help through,
pills, razors, or just about anything.
The cuffs are getting tighter,
I just want to be free.
I am no longer a fighter,
These chains have overpowered me.
unrequitedyou make my wordsunrequited2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
gather at the hollows
of my throat
until i choke on them.
my fingers ache to
but my eyes ache to
you're nothing but heart break
wrapped in a bow
of something beautiful,
like the dust of grace from
i drink a little faster and
cry a little harder
because the way whiskey and tears
mingle on my lips
tastes suspiciously of love.
The Abyss in The SkyWould you stillThe Abyss in The Sky8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
love me if i inject
your heart into my
& make you the
we can finally drown in the abyss in the sky.
MalaiseYou were painfulMalaise11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
like dry-swallowing pills on an empty stomach
like blasting music loudly enough to forget my name
and I was young, and I believed you
when you said that beauty was pain.
fetishizingsupposedly it's beautifulfetishizing2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to cry at the crack of dawn
when the world is still sleeping
and cannot see your pain
you have to grieve
at a specific time for it to
mean something more
as if being heartbroken
is something worth it
but it doesn't make sense
because sometimes it's
three pm on a wednesday
when you feel the tears
prickle behind your eyes
because you miss him
it burns in your bones
and this has to mean something
( 4/05/2014 )poets got it hard( 4/05/2014 )1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
when the muse
only falls in love
i hate her,
that rat girl
who thinks she’s
god sent hero
or some shit.
in her own
to think about
& giving them
all they do is
living out of my suitcase
wasn’t such a bad idea-
i’ll be running away
any day now,
( 4/04/2014 )Everything here is so fucking( 4/04/2014 )1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
loud and this dragon eyed girl
doesn’t feel like filtering
She doesn’t want to answer
the phone today, either, so-
she stuffs her ears with
her mouth with new
as she kisses
socks now too
their mixed &
Real ladies wouldn’t
dare step outside
wearing one pink
& one green sock,
but she’s no lady.-
A red lipped hermit
holding a knife to her
own throat, screaming-
the sun and
the rain on her face
for the first time
Oh poets with your
pretty words and
this is what true
In another tongue, in a far-off townSometimes I dream that we met in a placeIn another tongue, in a far-off town2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
where sadness was a foreign language
where you couldn’t understand the words I whispered in your ear.
Where I couldn’t taste it like molasses on your tongue or read it in your smudging script,
see it painted on your face or feel it, warm between your thighs.
Sometimes I dream that I met you in some other fashion, stumbling over unfamiliar lines
but not here. Not here.