AddictedYou ignore the warnings, the pleas of the people around you
Because you know what's right for you.
You start with one but it's not enough.
Then comes along two, then three and you're still not satisfied.
As the people around you fade, you don't care.
You have what you want,
what you crave,
what you need,
Because you know what's right for you.
As your frame of mind begins to change,
The numbers begin to spiral,
You aren't doing it for fun anymore; it controls you,
It becomes a part of your routine.
Twenty-Seven.. Twenty-Eight.. Twenty-Nine..
It all feels the same,
You wonder what happened.
But you listen to yourself, assuming it's nothing
Because you know what's right for you.
The people you once loved hate you.
This virus continues to consume who you were,
who you are,
who you wanted to be.
This is no longer a game.
The addiction is killing you, from the inside out.
But it's far too late now,
Because you thought you knew what was right for you.
I can't write poetry for dead girls.there are tooI can't write poetry for dead girls.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
many pills in this
world and too
much misery in
the human heart
but that didn't mean
that you could just
up and leave when
we both know it
could have gotten better
and i miss you like
a wolf misses her pack
or a goddamn dragon misses
her fire and i'm sorry
that i can't give you
a bouquet of jasmines
(they were your
favorite, after all,
because that was
the only princess
with a pet tiger)
because poppies are
too cliche and i'm
sorry i wasn't there
when all you needed
was a hug and for someone
to whisper "it's okay,
you're perfect enough
for me, don't listen
to that junkie bitch
who just happened to
give birth to you" and did
you know that i'm still waiting
for a reply to that one
email about the world's
best puns because fuck,
there's a stubborn part
of me that still refuses to
believe that you're gone.
not fade awayTwisted up in a trap of I.V.s,not fade away2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she withered and withered away.
Disease stole her lively light
from the sickbed where she lay.
A month before she perished,
I think she might have said,
"I know that I am dying, sure,
but dying's not the same as dead."
you should be home by nowlast tuesday the house took my hand & said,you should be home by now2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it's more of a hurricane than a fire
since he broke in & burned
but sometimes I see her with a lighter
& she finishes what he didn't do
(I think she's afraid
of settling in,
but last tuesday I realized that she kept the lights on
to frighten away the bridges & the people
so no one will come inside
& smash the teacups, steal the pipes
because since he burnt her beds out
no one lives there anymore
painyou're disgusting.pain2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i hope you know that every time you show your face,
i cringe, collapse into rage.
you flay my body with cutting board scissors
and laugh at the sight of my blood.
it's everywhere, staining everything.
my clothes are ruined,
splotched with your dirty curse.
i can't ignore you
when you're so persistent,
grinding me like coffee beans
to grit beneath your boots.
i'm a shipwreck. you're the bottom of the ocean,
i collapse into bathroom stalls
like a rag doll,
falling on my knees and begging for mercy.
you're the reason i have medication.
i swallow pill after pill,
but they don't let me forget you.
i feel you within me,
twisting, pulling at my guts.
there's some idea out there
that women are like snow-capped strawberries,
but you are the part of me
that releases the bitter, razor-edged leaves.
my mom tells me i'm being melodramatic.
it's just a period, after all.
why i never wrote you a poem.last summer i triedwhy i never wrote you a poem.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to use the words that you fell asleep to
to write you a love song but
every time i tried
my fingers froze up.
i failed the test of describing you
in a paragraph
in a sentence
in a word
there is nothing in my head adequate enough
to describe how you look
on the train station platform
when you smile at me.
i can tell you that
my heart climbs into my throat and
my body prickles with heat and
everything disappears, for just a moment, but
the thing i cannot describe
your mouth caresses my name
like it’s the most beautiful sound
it’ll ever know,
like it understands me perfectly,
you are not made of verses.
you have no meter.
you are not written in stanzas
that i understand
and i find myself captivated
at how beautifully complex
your language is.
you say i’m the mesmerizing one, but, baby,
you've stumped me.
you have left a girl,
a person who wants to build their life
beautiful broken things must stick togetherbecause she is a broken pretty thing,beautiful broken things must stick together2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and he is the little boy who grew up
If Truth had a tongueIf Truth had a tongue2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
If Truth had a tongue
All your armies, all your men
All your hate, against a pen
Cold still coffee
Against a boy- stone in hand
Tightening hands on rubber band
In his eyes see brightening hope
To strengthen (still) the breaking rope
Of justice, rights and human love
As airplanes hover up above
And I wonder, hands are shaking
Faith is crumbling, words are breaking
Torn up hope and spirits broken,
Muting people when words are spoken,
Time is racing against a pen,
And I wonder once again,
Who is weak, and who is strong?
Who is right, and who is wrong?
And I wish, whilst blood is dripping
Chains are beating, whips are whipping
See the image- bleeding men
Hear the clock chime- broken pen
Again I wonder and I wish
If only the truth had words to speak
Words to tell when days are bleak
Peace to sp
bipolar.after they diagnosed my father,bipolar.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
my mother told me,
if she had known,
she would have never had children.
it scares me to think that,
one day i could hear a small voice saying,
“mommy, i don’t feel right.”
“you don’t look sick,”
they say, noticing that i’m not dragging around
an i.v. stand.
noticing that my sweatshirt is black
and not a white hospital gown
swinging around marbled, knocking knees.
“but i’m still unwell,” i say
in a voice that doesn’t shake
and they just look disappointed,
like i don’t fit.
like i’m the skewed painting
on the fucked-up-person wall.
“but,” they say, “don’t bipolar people
usually kill themselves?”
“but i tried,” i say
with my wrists unmarked
and they just shake their heads
almost as if to say
not hard enough.
“poor girl,” they say, looking right at me,
sitting next to my dad as he laughs too loud.
hometown bluesthey say home is where the heart is,hometown blues2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but they never claimed it had to be beating.
if this town is all there is to living,
then I'm dead,
and these dusty dirt roads
are my sad little gravestones.
there's a harsh winter wind.
but it's the same air I've inhaled
since I first opened my
surgical steel eye to the world.
remember the pale pink dress
I wore to our senior prom?
you held me
under the fuzzy yellow confetti light.
I loved you because you were so gentle,
and when I fell apart,
you were the only person who knew
I could fix myself on my own.
you twirled me like I mattered,
because you knew that one day I would die.
you forgot that you would, too.
you are wrought iron starlight,
my crooked grey dove.
you live in the sidewalk cracks,
moaning my name as I
cautiously step over the gorges.
my mother calls, from time to time.
I've learned to let the phone ring
because her voice is not the one I want to hear.
she's too tepid, unsure.
she's the link strangling me,
pinning me t
HelHELHel2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Ungrounded, floating on the whispers of a memory,
Secretly kindling the tantrums of one’s victory.
Faint yet chaotic render of pure rage tapping, striking,
A symphony of fire, a sonata of the land burning.
Hel is thy mistress, ruling the maddening underworld,
Leisure in your rotting vessel, a ritual for the undefeated Gods.
Hel, gazing upon your flesh, your tormented world.
Calling upon thy reclining faith from a river following the odds.
Yet still ungrounded, still balancing on the edge of a ripping tapestry.
An emblazing relic digging in your palm, between blood and atrophy,
Runic treasures and charms hidden under your broken armor,
Hailing her Cimmerian name, at last lifting the valiant Hammer.
Darkness vs. LightDarkness creeps so slowly,Darkness vs. Light2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I am caught by surprise.
Somehow my world plunges into unending sorrow.
All it takes is a song,
Then I am falling.
Silent screams echo in my ears.
I struggle to find a light bright enough.
Something to fend off the darkness like a sword.
It isn’t fair to face the darkness knowing there is no escape.
I will not die.
Life clings to me against my will.
Where is my other half?
My soul mate?
I don’t want to be alone,
Facing down my demons without a shred of hope.
Shine so brightly I will be drawn to you.
I can’t forget I need to shine.
I just feel as if my light is dimming.
How will you find me if I am swallowed by my darkness?
A spark of hope.
I need a way to defeat my sorrows,
So I can help battle yours.
Just a glimmer of hope?
Hey Remember Me?Hey remember me?Hey Remember Me?2 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Without anyone to talk to,
Yeah we met last week
I'm so glad
You actually remembered me.
Hey remember me?
That we could hang out.
I know it might
Seem a bit strange to ask
But are we friends?
Now I can be at ease
You’re really here with me
It wasn't just a tease.
Hey remember me?
Just a little bit though
I thought you liked me
Because of that
Because of the way I am
Hey remember me?
To keep up a smile
But it’s getting pretty hard
Because every once in awhile
It seems like all you want
Is for me to cry.
Is that what a friend does?
Hey remember me?
Please say you do
I'm your friend
And all that entails
So I can take them
All your continual assails
As long as you remember me
I doubt my heart will fail.
Hey remember me?
I'm being forgotten
Though I suppose that means you don't
You never do
Never even try to
Even after all I've begged of you
Even after all we've been through
You treat me like
It's not hatred, it's incredulity.when i was ten years old myIt's not hatred, it's incredulity.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
teacher asked the class,
"if you were god, what would
and i remember
biting my lip so hard
that it bled. carefully,
i wrote about
how i would teach
kids from an early age on how to
love yourself and no one
else and that there is no such thing as
an almighty power that will pity
you and answer your desperate prayers
at three a.m. because you're the only one
who has that kind of control.
when i handed it in she just looked
at me like i was the
her child's bed. the next day i
was sitting in her office wondering
why it was so wrong to
talk about what's in your heart at a catholic
school when that's what the priest tells
you to do at every sunday mass and
the teacher asked me
another question, "do you
hate god?" and i
wanted to scream "yes, yes!" because
how can a god let the world
slip through their fingers like this one has?
but instead i answered,
"no. i just don't think there is one."
and sat in the chair,
staring at the cross on t
All They See Is ScarsI want to tell a story,All They See Is Scars2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but this story isn't a fairy tale
and it wont have a happy ending,
because the real ones, well
they never really do.
In high school
I picked up my pen
and I began to write
It existed and it was pure
and it was lovely.
But my rapist rewrote me.
breathing on my neck
and tracing my back with his fingers.
He rewrote me as broken.
He wrote me as a statistic,
as another white girl who got told
that she cried rape for attention.
But that didn't matter because see,
I wanted to tell a story.
A story about family,
about picking each other up
about blood being thicker than water
about how not everyone's home
had to be broken.
But my father rewrote me.
When i picked up my pen
he spoke words to me
that I swear bruised my whole body
and I learned that nothing
was thicker than his alcohol
and my home was already shattered.
But I wanted to tell a story.
so I picked up my pen
to write about god.
A God that could save anybody
And God loved everybody,
which was the onl
Shes DangerousA beautiful girl, a sight to behold.Shes Dangerous2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
An innocent smile, a heart of gold.
So begins the story, each time it is told.
The ending leaving you, bitter and cold.
Your “soulmate” leads you into her bed.
That’s how she traps you, with lovely legs spread.
Desire and lust dominate your head.
Spellbound you agree to whatever is said.
Her manipulations are a mastered art.
As her trusting victim, you play the part.
She promises to love you with all her heart.
And with sick satisfaction she tears you apart.
From this trance you eventually awake.
That’s when you discover, trust is a mistake.
Your wonderful woman was a scheming snake.
Blinding you with her poison and taking all she could take.
You’re left alone, bitten and broke.
All you had, all you believed, all up in smoke.
Secretly wishing, you had never woke.
She made you love her, and her love was a joke.
you've been dead for a year, my deari met you on december 21st,you've been dead for a year, my dear2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the longest night of the year.
you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring.
i knew you were not meant to last,
powerful as a gale but fragile as
the tulip stems you snapped,
a sickening cycle of you,
an overwhelming tidal wave.
they say two wrongs will never make a right,
but i made so many bad choices that
i wound up back where I began.
it was too easy to love you,
but getting you to love me back was impossible.
i clawed at your chest until I struck blood,
until my nails split into shards.
you were born a phantom,
and i, your corpse.
holding onto you felt like drowning in quicksand;
i fought but always sank into your arms.
i breathed in dirt, breathed in dust, and
found my organs choked with you,
smothered by your existence.
you sucked out my breath
every time i kissed you.
i died every day with your hand
knotted in my hair.
You left on june 21st,
the longest day of the year.
i bit down sorrow and deconstructed
the labyrinth within me,
the one you hadn't th
Alone With ImpulsesI stare at the clock,Alone With Impulses2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Willing myself to feel tired.
It doesn’t work.
I take a sleep aid.
It doesn't work either.
Sitting here alone,
I drown the quiet with music.
I know I have to keep it together.
That doesn't send the depression running though.
Every moment ticks by
With infinite slowness.
My mind presents impulses.
Mild ones first-
Like a snack.
Ever so stealthily,
More psychotic impulses surface.
I know I can’t-
I just feel frightened by my own mind,
And ever so alone.
In The DarkYou tookIn The Dark2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to the moon
In the night sky
I saw the pieces
that weren't beautiful
And the farther
The darker they got
they fell away from the light
And joined me
disorder"mirror, mirror, on the walldisorder2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
who's the fairest of them all?"
i whispered to my doleful reflection,
but this was no fairy tale:
this was a small town on a cold, foggy night.
my skeleton was so beautiful
i wanted to showcase it,
give onlookers a glimpse of my impending
death through my very flesh.
i could picture myself, edges carved away
like a cored apple.
i just wanted to feel real.
everyone around me chewed and swallowed so easily
but i just gnawed on my lip until i
tasted blood, and let
a piece of myself die.
the flavor made my mouth water
as my stomach ground out hoarse
requests for expansion, for meaning.
i held nothing within but pathetic yearning,
hollow with self-hatred.
i could only feel affection with pain.
perfection became my obsession,
consuming me alive the way i would have
loved to consume anything at all.
some part of me believe i could be a super model,
and living my life on ambition and emptiness
was the way to do it.
every day i watched the little numbers
KidsWe're just kids, that grew up too fast.Kids2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Due to expectations and isolations.
Adaptations, illustrations, separations.
It's not how it used to be.
I wonder will it last?
One words replies,
Now it's lies, cries, guys and skinny thighs.
Oh I despise, but I'll advise,
Do not trust a soul.
Blasting music in our ears,
Hiding from the sneers and leers,
They're picking on the queers.
Aren't they our peers?
Alone, and other feelings I've never known.
Upgrade your phone.
Dye your hair a darker tone.
Wear cologne and dig the drone.
Welcome to the cool zone.
Break and clatter.
"I'm fine." or "it doesn't matter."
Am I flatter or fatter?
Definitely the latter.
Watch my heart shatter,
And the pieces scatter.
Cause we're just kids, who grew up too fast.
Due to expirations and deprivations.
Situations, innovations, realizations.
It's not like it used to be.
Now we're an outcast.
walk on your own, into the sunDear sad people,walk on your own, into the sun2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I was raised to believe that the sun turns purple when humanity learns to glow
but lately, the warm wooden library I sat in turned cold.
In the summer I'd pick up the heaviest explanation of evolution and smile at it like a proud amphibian,
in the winter I'd write thickly about praying to a stagnant universe.
In the winter, I'd forget I'd evolved.
I once dreamed that Jesus gave me a tour of the Old Testament heaven.
The ocean water slapped itself onto the course sand,
which rose into brown dripping bones that stood tall like the rod that cracked open a footpath.
"It's up to you," he shrugged with sluggish eyes.
I wondered if I belonged in your world.
Why do you write so many letters
to your pills and lovers and priests and ghosts?
In one deep sleep, sloppy Jesus gave me a choice,
and I chose to write my own letter to a raised razor nightmare, running and raw
that peeled down a woman's cheek as sh
you are single.you’re not single because you didn’t forward that chain letter,you are single.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
because your replies were too quick
because you missed one of his
because you said the wrong thing.
you’re not single because
your tits are too small or
her ass looks better in those pants or
you have a stomach or
“men want women with curves.”
you’re not single because you’re messy
you’re not single because you’re not ladylike enough
because you don’t fit in
because you’re too ugly
because you’re too this, you’re not enough of that.
you’re not single because who would date somebody like you?
you’re not single because you fall in love too easily,
or because you don’t open up enough.
you are not single because your heart is too big
or too small.
relationships are not gained through meticulousness,
at how precisely your words land
and how perfect your face is when you laugh.
you are not single because it’s what you deserve
My DiseaseMy fingers bleed wordsMy Disease2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
that my lips cannot say.
When they try to trickle out,
I scowl and turn away.
It may not be contagious,
but it is a disease.
Holding myself deep inside,
it's getting hard to breathe.
Lies come so easy,
to cover up the truth.
It’s like my second nature,
grown from my very youth.
It’s deeper than conviction,
more earnest than a thought.
It’s my way
It’s my life
It is my disease.
powerless, and reaching."He's the kind of personpowerless, and reaching.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
who tells me to 'cheer up'
when I'm depressed,"
he says, scoffing,
and I shake my head
"What a useless comment."
He chuckles, agrees,
but I keep thinking about
about all the "cheer up"s
and "just be happy"s
he's heard in his life.
I want to say "cheer up,"
I want my words to magically
cure him, heal him,
crush his depression
in a way that no pills ever could,
but I know it doesn't work like that.
Happiness is not an item
to be obtained with quarters
it is not a country to travel to
in airplanes and sailboats.
Happiness is a change in the wind,
a flicker from east to west
that cannot be upheld permanently.
For him, it is a road
blocked by people who roll their eyes
and tell him to get over himself.
When I wrap my arms around him,
he laughs again,
sinks into my body.
I think about hollow rooms,
sound echoing off the walls.