Nerd Humor(An Open Source Poem)
I'd compiled a REALbasic poem
in which a Python
with a bad Lisp
concocted a Scheme
to swap a dull Ruby
for a shiny new Perl
from the king Cobol
while making Smalltalk
over a cup of Java
before knocking him out with a SNOBOL
My prof gave it a C++
They Ate The Title, TooInternet monstersThey Ate The Title, Too9 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
Consuming online haiku?
Apotheosis: Prometheus Re-BoundI thought I saw each day flow by,Apotheosis: Prometheus Re-Bound4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
from final rest to birthing cry:
the total sum of deeds undone
are bleached beneath the blazing sun
and offered up to passers-by.
The crows will claw, the seagulls cry,
the terns will carry tidbits high,
the pterodactyls catch and run
†††I thought I saw.
But vivisect or vivify,
the price will never be as high
as back when I had purchased one
brand-new, and clearly underdone;
to Zeus in gratitude, I'll testify:
†††"I thought I saw."
Mysterious Diaries of Roxas"I'm going to get some snacks from the market, make yourself at home. I'll be back in like twenty minutes." Roxas said as he walked out the door. I shrugged, we've been friends for years this wasn't anything new. I went up stairs to his surprisingly neat room and flopped down on the black and white checkered bed. It was always so soft and squishy I loved it. As I flopped though I heard something fall to the floor.Mysterious Diaries of Roxas4 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"Hm?" I looked down and saw a red sketch book. "Rox draws? I wonder what he draws?" I let curiosity get the better of me and flipped open the book to the main page.
'Don't look/read this! This means you Sora and Axel!'
"Ouch Roxy! That hurts!" I said sarcastically. I flipped through the pages seeing not to many pictures but a lot of words instead. "It's not a sketch book...it's a journal!" H
Family Syndicate - Chapter 4Family SyndicateFamily Syndicate - Chapter 44 years ago in Humor More Like This
Chapter 4: Cloud's past and Roxas's future
When I would come home from school, my mother would smile and tell me 'Welcome home!', like any good mother would, and I felt relaxed and comfortable because I was, in fact, at home When Hayner's mom did it It just didn't feel the same, and although it was the same tone, same smile and everything, I didn't feel relaxed, I felt sick.
Now when I come home, I'm greeted twice. Once when we open the gate of my uncle's property where tons of yakuza men will bow and yell, "Welcome home, young masters!" in perfect unison and once more by Larxene whose way was petrifying.
We passed all of my uncle's men to the main house and open the door, only to find Larxene turning sharply at whatever startled her, knives poised to throw in her hands.
I gasped, jumping out of her way as Sora laughed, Axel not even bothering to protect me, which to be honest, pissed me off! Wasn't that his job?
"Welcome home." She smiled, all
The Gravedigger"I better get an epic funeral."The Gravedigger4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Homophobic Lover Chapter 6Homophobic Lover Chapter 6Homophobic Lover Chapter 68 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"Life Rule #34 if you got the moves, you got the guy"
And so the search for the perfect "girl" began.
They sat down, Sora grabbed a notebook.
"okay" Sora saild, with a click of his pen. "What do you want in a girl?"
"Sora, i dont think-"
"I said....what do you want in a girl?"
Riku sighed and laid down on his bed, closing his eyes.
"well-she has to be fun" Sora nodded and started scribbling," umm...sweet, and shy too- but not too shy,- the cute kind of shy, and she has to be a good dancer! i would want to bring her to the clubs with me. Also shes gotta be cute, i dont want a slut, a great laugh,...and well....me and her just gotta click you know"
Riku said facing Sora, opening his eyes. Sora smiled sweetly and nodded.
"O yeah, a great smile, and not only cute, beautiful too.
Fragments1. Your clockwork appendages were cold to the touch, the industrial complex you called your mind was grating gear against gear where the unoiled works kept clacking away; your heart was a tick-tocking machine that counted the hours while the corrosion settled in.Fragments4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
2. "You know what you need?
"You need an adventure. Let's go have one."
3. I wanted to hold the thunder in glass jars and write long letters on faded parchment; instead I applied to retail stores to fuel my obsessions for the easily consumed and quickly forgotten.
4. He turned at the sound of my camera snapping, just in time for me to capture the expression on his face curious, unguarded.
5. I believe I'm hollow inside I believe everything that comes out of my mouth is nothing more than the brontide of all the stones I've swallowed.
6. She didn't want to say anything if she interrupted now, his epiphany would be lost and they really needed to get the wormhole working.
All the same, the hatchet in her
The Way of the WorldWhen we are youngThe Way of the World4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Our wings unfurl
We are thrown from the nest
And encouraged to fly.
When we get older
Our wings are bound
We are caught and caged,
Forced to sing for the pleasure of others.
Family Syndicate - Chapter 5Family SyndicateFamily Syndicate - Chapter 54 years ago in Humor More Like This
Chapter 5: Training, Guns and Relationships Which is more difficult?
Note: I am not a gun expert just admirer.
Is it possible for lips to be that comforting and warm? And what was up with his taste? Am I insane, or did he taste like cinnamon? Yakuza shouldn't be so gentle when kissing! It makes no sense! He makes no sense! He-
"Roxas Roxas? Roxas??"
Why is my name being called so much? I felt my eyes blink and the room came into focus without me really realizing it was out of focus. Namine was standing there, a huge bow in her hair and a smile on her face, her hands clasped behind her back.
"Thinking about stuff?"
"Huh?" I asked, wondering how long I spaced out. It couldn't have been that long right? Looking around me, I noticed our teacher hadn't come into the room and Sora and Riku were still talking in hushed tones in their seats, but Axel was nowhere to be found. He had walked with us but when he got to the school, he left the
What Am I?I lurk in the corners of your mind,What Am I?4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Slithering through the undergrowth of ideas
Forsaken and tossed to the abyss,
Emerging from the shadowy depths
When you want me least.
You scowl at me and call me
For my tortuous forms of amusement.
I follow the law of thermodynamics:
I can neither create nor destroy.
How else can I entertain myself but
Inflict such pain on hapless
Beings such as yourself?
The best is letting little bits of
False hope is always cruelest.
As you lie there in agony
Unable to wrench yourself from my grip,
Remember who is the fickle one
And who always keeps their promises.
Hate she who has forsaken you, not me,
For I may cease taunting you for a while
Or simply take a nap.
But unlike the unreliable one
You pay tribute to,
I shall follow you even into the grave.
Homophobic Lover Chapter 1Homophobic Lover Chapter 1Homophobic Lover Chapter 18 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Average 14 yearold boy. A little on the short side, bright blue eyes, and chocolate brown spikey hair. Loves everything, Famous for his smile that could brighten up anyones day.
Except for today that is, the first day of school. Everyone hates school right? Wrong Soras friends loathe it, well not the whole year, just the first day mostly.
Ah, Soras friends, the group that grew each coming year, especially now because this was their first day in highschool. Scary right? Luckily they all had lunch together but enough of this, lets go on to the story shall we?
Sora trudged through the hallway, tired,hungry, and annoyed at the confusing way to the lunch room. "stupid school..stupid hallway...stupid stomach.
Homophobic Lover Chapter 5Homophobic Lover Chapter 5Homophobic Lover Chapter 58 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
The boys continued to hug, as Riku sobbed into Soras chest.
"Tell me everything will be okay, Sora"
Sora a little confused,
"Please" Riku held on tighter.
Sora squeezed back and laid his head on Rikus shoulder.
"Everything will be okay, i promise.."
"Sora im so sorry, its was none of your fault, none of it! i cant believe i hurt you, Sora, your the best friend i ever had.."
"Riku...you still have me.."
"Sora lets go back to my house..."
"Alright, can we talk when were there?"
"Yeah im so sorry..."
"Riku, i forgive you, i knew something was wrong, just tell me what.."
"When we get to my house, please.."
The boys got
Homophobic Lover Chapter 3Homophobic Lover Chapter 3Homophobic Lover Chapter 38 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Roxas closed his eyes, he was in shock of what Axel had said. Was he really gay? or was this another plot of evil by Riku to hurt him? Roxas sighed as he sat on his couch across from a sad Sora.
Soras head shot up as if he had been broken from a trance.
"Listen are you still going to be friends with Riku?"
"Roxas, listen..."Soras face covered with concern
"Sora! he'll hate you! Look what he did-"Roxas began ranting.
"LISTEN!"Roxas quited down, Sora continued," Somethings wrong with Riku...something really wrong..."
Homophobic Lover Chapter 2Homophobic Lover<3 Chapter 2Homophobic Lover Chapter 28 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
The first week flew by and Sora still got lost in the overly large school, always being helped by Riku, who mysteriously had all the same classes as Sora, go figure.
Sora didn't even bother memorizing the hallways anymore since Riku always led Sora. The two became friends but not so close they actually sat together at lunch. Riku sat with his own group, Axel, Tidus, and Wakka. Sora waved to Riku as he sat down with his own crew.
"hey, Sora we were just talking about this party we all got invited too"
"o you mean Selphies?"
"Yeah, you going?"
"Yup"Taking a mouthful of macaroni in his
Family Syndicate - Chapter 3Family SyndicateFamily Syndicate - Chapter 34 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Chapter 3: Lolitas and Homeroom Teachers
My uncle's home was in Radiant Gardens, which wasn't far from Twilight Town, my original home and where Hayner and my other friends lived. Since both towns where so close, one high school was built in the middle so the towns could just save on money.
I found this slightly irresponsible.
The entrance exams alone where really easy and I had to wonder about the curriculum. But at least it was better than getting no education at all, but it's still weird to walk out of my new room and find the yakuza bodyguards in my school uniform. But of course asking them to wear it normal was asking too much then was it?
Well Riku wore it normally, the collar of it slightly unbuttoned but otherwise it was normal. Axel on the other hand didn't button his at all, a red shirt actually under the uniform, his sleeves rolled up all the way, showing the dark ink that marked his skin on his forearms with boots under his pants. Not only that
Family Syndicate - Chapter 2Family SyndicateFamily Syndicate - Chapter 24 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Chapter 2: We don't want you to die...
I've never lived any life of crime, the worse I've ever done was probably stolen 1 or 2 little trinkets from a corner store that couldn't have cost more than 100 munny I say probably because either I did it or Hayner did, I can't even remember anymore. I've never cheated on tests or gambled or anything like that.
So why is it I'm subjected to this fate?
Before you ask, I'll explain a little more. So, Yakuza is best described as the Japanese Mafia, selling knock off brands and making huge profit, rigging races to make the best profit, selling trick girls out How could I even be related to that in anyway??
I could only walk stiffly as Leon and Sora led me into the huge house, the door opening and, flying right by my head, a kunai slammed into the wall behind me. I gasped out, covering my mouth so I wouldn't scream out like a little girl.
"Larxene, watch it." Leon chuckled. I looked over to the direction the kunai
Family Syndicate - Chapter 6Family SyndicateFamily Syndicate - Chapter 64 years ago in Humor More Like This
Chapter 6: Lolita kidnaps, defensive maneuvers and a little something called foreplay.
Notes: Kinda a filler chapter but some stuff is important haha
I was beginning to wonder how many hiding places we could find.
Apparently there where millions of make out spots at school, all of which Axel knew of and most of which we occupied at one time or another. It was an odd feeling having Axel be my boyfriend. For me wanting to hold him and touch him and kiss him, but being with him made me happy.
I was even happy while being pushed against the door to the classroom, Axel's flaming red hair soft between my fingers, his lips soft against mine. In comparison to the rest of his body hard against mine and his wet tongue in my mouth, my mind blank until he finally pulled away enough to let me breathe, moving down my neck to nibble and bite at it.
"Hng, Axel, wait." I muttered, remembering where we actually were. I was unfortunate enough to get classroom duties, which meant I
Homophobic Lover Ch 4 part 1Homophobic Lover Chapter 4Homophobic Lover Ch 4 part 18 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"What You've Done"
Riku sat there in his room, crying at the memory. After all the years it seemed like a dream,but deep down he knew it was real. He knew. Riku looked over to the place Sora had been. Screaming, pleading for mercy..which Riku didn't give him. Guilt over swept him. "No...Sora.....you were-NO are my best friend...i have to tell you im sorry i have to make this...right." Riku sighed, got up, closing the shades to block off the still incoming rays of light from the day Riku wanted to run away from. He slipped under his covers, and cried.
Sora cried in pain, clutching his stomach as he ran into his house. Tears streaming down his face, he fell screaming out in pain.
Homophobic Lover Chapter 8Homophobic LoverHomophobic Lover Chapter 87 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
It only took one look, one word, and they were inseparable.
Days went by till I even had a chance to talk to him, and what a small chance that had been, and I missed it.
I had beat myself up for days about that.
Days turned into weeks; weeks turned into months It was now December.
Ive never felt a December so cold.
He didnt see how much I was dying inside, how much I wanted to run into his arms but I couldnt. Not while she was around
Ame for short.
She caused my heart to burn in the fire of depression that no one seemed able to put out.
I felt so insignificant when they were around, arms touching arms, fingers skimming across each others cheeks he didnt even care that I was right there.
He didnt even care .
I was spiraling downwards, away. Away from him
It seemed as if our friendship was fading out
A Soldier's WishlistDear Santa,A Soldier's Wishlist4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's been a while since I wrote;
just give me a moment to clear my throat.
I'm a little out of practice
so forgive me if I seem quite callous.
I've got some complaints you've heard before,
but let me leave those at the door.
I watched the NORAD radar blip
but never got my Battleship.
Haven't believed since I was nine
but sitting here on the front line
I've got a wish not just for me
but for the men in my cavalry.
If it can't fit into a sack,
if such a load would break your back,
then I'd settle for a smoke and ticket home
but while I'm writing here alone
here's the list I never sent;
peace on earth, goodwill towards men.
ZADR - Best Years of Our Lives prt. 1 .FAILED.It was the first day of highskool. The students were in the halls, conversing with friends they hadn't seen all summer. There were groups of girls hugging and giggling about their summer flings, and boys punching eachother's shoulders or ruffling eachother's hair in greeting. Their lives were perfectly normal.ZADR - Best Years of Our Lives prt. 1 .FAILED.3 years ago in Romance More Like This
A kid with strange green skin and black hair walked down the hall for the first time since last year. He was wearing the same red shirt, black pants, boots, and gloves he's worn since the fifth grade. He was a junior in highskool, and most of the students knew him well, for they had all gone to the same elementary skool, as well as the same junior high. However, the person who knew him better than anyone was his worst enemy.
"Dib," sneered the boy, stopping at his locker. A few lockers away was another boy, also a junior. He had spikey black hair, pale skin, and glasses that covered his baggy, sleepless eyes. He was dressed in a long, black trench coat, black pants and boots, and
Zindigi Life Monsoons Ch 1When Pavarti died, the sunlight went with her. Any fledgling rays that had once, cautiously, shined down on a family so desperately in need of light, left nothing but the dust of Mumbai roads clinging to the windows. It was hastily snuffed out, like the lazy wisps of a tobacco beedi, purchased by a seedy rickshaw driver at cheap roadside stalls.Zindigi Life Monsoons Ch 14 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
We were the meager funeral procession, my father and I, the now oldest child, and we watched the two disinterested day laborers unfeelingly carry her remains to the cemetery of an abandoned church. The smug sunlight languidly settled into a distant horizon. Even as the blazing humidity diminished, sweat continued to trickle down my shoulders. The dusty white kurta pants were slowly coming apart from the makeshift knot I had tied.
Absently, I ruminated about the thick black plaits that used to run down my sister's back, how the perishing temperatures before the monsoon storms would make cotton salwaar kameez she wore to work stick to her body by
Sestina: Dick and WangRichard, whose nickname is Dick,Sestina: Dick and Wang4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
set out to make wieners.
He approached the cock
and grabbed the metal rod
to kill it when--Ding-dong!
the doorbell rang. It was Wang.
Wang Long, who insisted on Wang,
called out: "You there, Dick?"
He didn't reply. The rooster clucked. Ding-dong!
the doorbell sang. Dick needed to make wieners.
He hefted the rod
and swung at the cock
but missed and hit the table. Bam! The cock
squawked and ran. "What was that?" said Wang.
Dick replied, "Nothing!" and raised his rod
to swing again. Bam! Another miss. Bam! Dick
really needed to make wieners.
Wang hit the button: Ding-dong!
it rang again. Ding-dong!
it sang again and the cock
ran again to avoid becoming wieners.
Dick sighed and in the background, Wang
asked if he was alright. Dick
sighed again and let go of the rod
which fell with a loud clatter. The rod
rolled on the floor. Ding-dong!
the doorbell went and Dick
walked to the door and opened it. The co