2 Cold 2 BleedOn frozen nights when it is too cold to bleed,
Those are the times I am afraid to dream.
When conversation brings unwanted memories,
Tears flowing in streams until I can finally breathe.
The truth is that getting over things
Is what I do best sometimes it seems.
But how the sun shines when he speaks to me!
And I find myself wanting to know everything.
I want to look through his eyes, to see what he sees,
I want to know if he ever thinks about me.
In the end though, I shyly retreat.
I can't allow him into my reality.
I know I could love him, most certainly.
But we all know what happens...
when someone is loved by me.
A Fairytale... EndingLast year began with an amazing startA Fairytale... Ending1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Kissing my true love in the winter rain
But early spring brought me a broken heart
My love did not want to see me again
This tortured soul could not handle the ache
Lashing on myself with infernal hate
I knew my love wanted for me to break
And I wanted to please my sweet soul mate
As month after month brought tear after tear
My sad heart had suffered enough despair
When the world celebrated this New Year
I stood alone in midnights frozen air
A solid promise to the stars above
This year I resolve not to fall in love
In Your HellYou're hiding in the shadowsIn Your Hell1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
of a dark and lonely place,
not wanting to hear my voice
and refusing to see my face.
Never knowing that I have followed you...
into this despair,
hoping to hold your hand
and comfort you once I'm there.
The ground shakes as I blindly walk
only following my heart,
I'm trying so hard to hang on
as my entire world falls apart.
The air here stings my lungs,
but I keep breathing for you.
I'm clinging to hope because
it's the only thing I know to do.
My tears are so hot they boil in my eyes
and burn lines down my skin,
and my stomach feels as if
I've swallowed some kind of poison.
The poison quickly flows through my blood,
attacking my brain.
It's so hard to fight insanity
when I'm screaming from the pain.
My body is destroyed and I can't walk,
but what is left of my lovesick heart,
knows that you are near.
I don't blame you for turning your back,
pretending you don't see.
I failed to help you an
I caught a fleeting glimpseI can’t believe my messed up brain,I caught a fleeting glimpse1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
the absurdity in being positive again.
But this girl is surely not so blind,
and every story has at least two sides.
Just remember at first it was me,
who said that we could never be.
And you promised me it was okay,
and that no matter what you’d stay.
The lie that friendship was enough,
until "just friends" became too tough.
But romantic notions strung me along,
until the day it all went wrong.
Until the moment you held me tight,
turning my insides out, and black to white.
The second you let go I knew it was the end,
and once again, I had lost my friend.
I had so hoped that your lies were true,
and I wanted so much to believe in you.
Pretending to be so sweet to me,
saying things I didn't want to believe.
I wasn't ready for how you made me feel,
but I desperately wanted it to be real.
Not Ready To Be LovedWarm hands caress my skin,Not Ready To Be Loved1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and send chills through my body.
I shudder in the darkness
but my shaking only encourages him.
He leans in and softly kisses me
and I turn away in disgust.
Lonely eyes plead for my affection
I can't stand to look anymore.
As he confesses his love for me I sigh
I am just not ready to be loved.
"I've missed you" this one claims
it's been weeks since I broke his heart.
"Holding you, kissing you, making love"
romantic words that conjure sickness inside.
He talks of his honesty, his loyalty, his devotion
he is a good man, this I know to be true.
He cries that he is so lonely without me
and I feel like I should care.
He tells me he loves me with all of his heart
but I am just not ready to be loved.
This last one is the most difficult to resist
because I could have loved him back.
I went to him in sadness
Take Away My DreamsFalling into sleep with sweet arms around meTake Away My Dreams1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
My daughters embrace is so comforting.
With thoughts in my mind of Mister Everything.
His soul holds a passion that touches me.
And yet when I finally begin to sleep.
My guilty hearts screams are deafening.
It has been nearly a year since our first kiss.
But the laughter we shared is what I miss.
Face to face at a table in my dream, we sit.
And I question how we have come to this.
How was our love so easy to dismiss?
My only answer is his infinite silence.
Mind drifting on to another love.
Who I gave up so easily for the one above.
A man that most women only dream of.
Someone only a fool would run away from.
But when it comes to love I am so dumb.
And in my dreams I wish for morning to come.
Awake, my p
Insanity Has Firewalls TooI want to set fire toInsanity Has Firewalls Too1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
all the voices that
dance their way into
Suicide NoteI couldn't quite explainSuicide Note1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Why I wanted to kill myself.
Maybe it was my desire to drink myself into oblivion
Or the craving to leave a slew of little lines all over my body.
Maybe it was the memories of you
And the terror of all the things you did to me,
My only problem for over a year,
And I couldn't get away.
At this point I have a warped perception of love.
I feel my pours clog with hatred,
As I can feel myself disintegrate into unimportance,
Never to be truly loved.
Maybe it was my awakened sleep
That couldn't protect me from the shadow
Of even the darkest nights.
Demons suck my soul out through my lips,
A kiss like yours that stings in the morning.
As my eyes feel heavy from vodka,
I head to the medicine cabinet
To erase every trace of you left in me.
I dream of the music they might play,
When all are dressed in black
And tears coat caked faces.
They cry over the memory of me,
My damaged flesh meaning nothing.
We all know it never did.
Waiting for the First KissPerhaps we are but two broken soulsWaiting for the First Kiss1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Knowing not where our hearts comfort lies.
I’ve spent so many months hiding, running
So many things seemed so unreal.
I am ready to heal now, to stop hiding
I want to embrace this, embrace you.
Because my thoughts of you are like
Warm hugs on a cold night.
And for the first time I feel no fear
As I share myself with you slowly
Last night I dreamed of us together
Against your body all night long
I love the way you make me smile
Every time you speak to me
You give me the strength I need
To accept desires I forgot so long ago
With you, I’m not afraid to open my heart
Which I have happily kept closed
Unaware where this will go, or end
Only knowing I can’t wait for the start
Shes DangerousA beautiful girl, a sight to behold.Shes Dangerous1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
An innocent smile, a heart of gold.
So begins the story, each time it is told.
The ending leaving you, bitter and cold.
Your “soulmate” leads you into her bed.
That’s how she traps you, with lovely legs spread.
Desire and lust dominate your head.
Spellbound you agree to whatever is said.
Her manipulations are a mastered art.
As her trusting victim, you play the part.
She promises to love you with all her heart.
And with sick satisfaction she tears you apart.
From this trance you eventually awake.
That’s when you discover, trust is a mistake.
Your wonderful woman was a scheming snake.
Blinding you with her poison and taking all she could take.
You’re left alone, bitten and broke.
All you had, all you believed, all up in smoke.
Secretly wishing, you had never woke.
She made you love her, and her love was a joke.
Secret Fantasy Snow FortI don’t need much,Secret Fantasy Snow Fort1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Just a shallow hole to bury myself in.
A coffin more than a castle.
I just want to be wrapped in frozen silence.
I want to close my eyes and hear nothing,
Nothing but the heavy ice settling around me.
I want to go numb.
Freeze my hands,
Take away any warmth left from the last time he held them.
Freeze my eyelids closed,
So I never have to open them again and find myself alone.
Collapse onto my chest
Suffocate me… sweet enclosure.
I no longer wish to breathe.
Freeze my brain so I don’t have to remember anymore
So I no longer imagine, so I no longer hope
Freeze my skin
So that it no longer burns for his touch.
I’d ask you to harden and break apart my heart
But that already happened many months ago.
To Wake Up HappyKnowing you exist would have been enough.To Wake Up Happy2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Enough to heal
what all of the glue and tape in the world couldn't hold together.
Broken trust, empty promises, disappointment, pain.
All washed away with a smile.
And I am bewildered.
Standing here dumbfounded in disbelief.
Crushed and suffocating,
suddenly I could breathe again.
As you unexpectedly lifted the world from my chest
and filled me with peace.
Free now to focus on the pain that matters
and not the pain from the false hopes
fed to me by lying lips.
People come and go
and when they go they leave behind bitter betrayal.
But you are nothing like anyone I've ever known.
Even nightmares disappear as you enter them
and turn them to amazing dreams.
And with those dreams flowing through my sleeping mind,
I wake up each morning finally unafraid.
I Know I Can't WinOpen eyelids see,I Know I Can't Win3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
sad morning light.
Haunted by hands,
tortured by night.
Bruises are covered,
by make-up and clothes.
so nobody will know.
Blood lost by blood-lust,
desire and despise.
from innocent eyes.
Today becomes tomorrow,
and the next and the next.
and lips pray,
for a day of sweet rest.
No daylight nor nightfall,
forbids more disdain.
But lessons learned,
the measure of pain.
Don't fight back... Don't complain.
Learn To LieIf you want to light a woman’s fires,Learn To Lie1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
pay attention to what she desires.
Tell her that you love her lips,
and touch her with gentle fingertips.
Kiss her passionately like lovers do,
like she’s the best thing that’s happened to you.
Listen to all the stories she tells,
tell her you care that she’s been through hell.
Comfort her and hold her hand,
feel her pain like you understand.
When she cries her hearts torn in half,
make her smile and make her laugh.
Hold her in a strong embrace,
wipe the teardrops from her face.
When she tells you that she dreams of you,
tell her you dream about her too.
And if she looks at you with pleading eyes,
whisper to her the most incredible lies.
Maybe...?Maybe it was never meant to be?Maybe...?1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Maybe I just imagined it?
Maybe I am only lying to myself?
Maybe I'm just pretending to be in love?
Maybe it was never real...?
But then you smile,
then you laugh.
But then you show me,
that you truly try in your own ways.
Maybe one day,
you will feel the same
Maybe one day,
I can tell you to your face those three words...
But until then...
I'll fake a smile.
I'll try to laugh without any worries.
I'll pretend as if what I'm feeling isn't true...
So that maybe one day,
I can hold your hand...
So that I can smile,
be angry over stupid things,
and overall be happy.
Who Needs A HeartShe looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “I can’t live without him.”Who Needs A Heart2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
All I could do was hold on to her and tell her, “I know.”
It’s funny how we all define a broken heart. Someone we love, stops loving us and it feels like our world is going to end. We wallow, we cry, we rebel and sometimes we even hate. But then we get over it and move on because a broken heart doesn’t kill us really. We might come out of it all a bit damaged and unable to trust, but somehow we survive.
You are different. With a truly broken heart you love like I’ve never known anyone to love before. When I think of you, I am embarrassed for ever feeling sorry for myself. When I think of you, I feel so full of pride to know you and to call you a friend. When I think of you, I hate the world for the way it devastates the best people.
He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “It doesn’t loo
in the blink of an eyeshe was born on a day whenin the blink of an eye2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
tectonic plates were crashing against each other
and i think that’s a good metaphor for her:
she was always the kind of person who fought
battles, even ones she couldn’t win.
she was a mess of moments she should have
taken seriously and too many times she tried
to laugh off the pain.
i learned how to care about other people
too much by watching her.
diagnosed as a grenade, she told me one day,
sure to blow up in someone’s face.
you’re going to be fine, i told her.
just let me leave, she said and
i wish i had, but i couldn’t,
not until she kicked and screamed her way
out of the doors, resenting everything
that stayed, a friend by memory alone.
i still have the scars from her detonation.
i will probably carry then with me until
i, too, leave.
fast friends make fast ends make sad ends make
wondering when she stopped caring
enough to not even want to say goodbye.
to the new girl, don’t worry:
We are diceWe are not programsWe are dice5 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Carrying out code and loops until we die
We are not puppets
Dancing your strings to your tunes
We are not bricks
To be set in mortar and left to crumble
We are dice
Tossed by the wind
No one knows how we land
And no one, not even us
Can choose our fate
We are not toys
Used up and tossed out on a whim
We are not boxes
Filled with junk and left to gather dust
We are not books
To be read and judged by cruel hearts
We are dice
Rolling down a hill
And we can choose
To make it stop
But we don't have to.
for the people with depression.one day, the pressure becomes hard to take.for the people with depression.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't know what to do, only know that it aches
The past is just haunting, and it keeps going on
Don't know anything anymore, only that something is wrong.
It was the loss of a love, the death of a friend
Half of my heart that I wish didn't end
I knew he was gone, but I couldn't believe
So I hid the pain in cuts under my sleeves
No reason to smile, no reason to live
I cut because blood's the only thing I can give
But now I know that I'm not alone, there's someone who cares
One person's gone but everyone else is still there
I know that it's painful, I know how you feel.
I have depression, PTSD, I know that it's real
But one day I got up and hung into life
And day by day, I avoided my knife
I wrote free verse poetry, shed all my tears
Drew all the good things I ever had in my years
Little by little, I healed very slowly
It's not over yet, but I'm not as lonely
What I'm trying to tell you is to believe and to hope
You don't have to die hanging
In My DreamsI met her in my dreams.In My Dreams1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
She tells me she’s lonely, I told her I’m similar.
I tell her everything; she whispers back
“It’s okay. I’m here, you’re alive. You’re breathing.”
She’s the reason I picked up all the pens I did.
The reason I don’t want to sleep most days anymore.
My tears fall every time someone sells her out.
I hate that people use her for the fame & the wealth.
And act like she would give herself up for free.
And act like she would give herself up for free.
My text says “I need you more than ever.”
But wait a minute.
What am I thinking?
Why did I send that?
I’m not ready for that.
Not ready to commit.
‘Cause I’d be really bad at it.
‘Cause I’m only thinking about me.
I’m only thinking about me.
The more honest I get, the weirder you get.
And I’m fine with that.
The more honest I get, the more they hate you.
Are you fine with that?
Friends ask all the time,
weighted down1. I am sixteen, suddenly.weighted down7 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have grown up without anyone
telling me. My car keys rest heavily in
my palm. Each new college I hear about
rests heavily on my shoulders. I am
not sure how much longer I can take this,
all this extra weight of responsibilities, of choices,
of the future I’m not sure I want to have.
My skin feels stretched across my body
in places that don’t really make sense.
I still feel too big in every bad way—I’m
afraid I always will.
2. My first boyfriend tells me he
thinks I must have bits of the
universe inside of me. I try not
to get offended: I know he means to say
that kissing me is like kissing stars,
and that I hold the secrets of creation
inside my soul, but all I can think about
is how huge the universe is.
3. He breaks up with me at night.
For hours, I lean against my truck in
the driveway and look at the sky.
Stars are cold and distant,
I realize. The universe is big
4. Someone in my philosophy class tries to tell me
You are MistakenEvery step I take is surroundedYou are Mistaken1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
By those hypnotizing circles
Like the ones around the water droplet
Falling into its companions.
Every breath I breathe
Fills my lungs with the earth
And it blooms inside me
As spring takes hold.
Every movement I make
Gently caresses the air
Until I, too, feel myself
Start to float.
Every sound that sounds
Brings a choir into my head,
Beautiful music sings out,
I sing along.
Everything I do is unique to me
And me alone
Please do not make the mistake
Of knowing “me”
If you have not seen the world
From my point of view.
Never Knowing NormalMaybe once upon a time, in a land far away, flowers grew and the sun shined. Maybe then and there the innocent kids chased rainbows and thought they could touch the stars. Maybe mothers kissed their children's cheeks at night and fathers never fled before dawn. Maybe this imaginary world is real for some people.Never Knowing Normal2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Broken and abandoned by 7 and molested and manipulated by 8, that is another story. And that, is how the cycle starts. It spins, and spins and spins and spins until you are too dizzy to know which way you are facing. You don't care which way you are facing anyway because it's hard enough to remember how to breathe.
The walls close in and the people around you disappear, turning and walking away without looking back. You call out for help but the only answer is the echo of your voice in the empty room. Your echo sounds faint and helpless and it reflects exactly how you feel. Faint... and helpless. Even your screams are merely whispers here.
You try to get up, you try t