A stranger walked up to me today...A man walked up to me and asked me for a cigarette… I told him I didn't smoke anymore, and he asked me why? ––I answered "because the person I used to smoke with, isn't around anymore", and he replied…"that's why I smoke."
A woman walked up to me and asked me for drugs, I replied "I have several in store…his eyes, his smile, his hands"…she whispered, "that's not a drug"…and I laughed as I said.. "if only you knew."
A child walked up to me today and asked me to play a game, I told them I was too tired to play games, i'd been playing for years, they replied…"then you must be a pro!", to which I said "yes…a pro at losing."
An old woman stared at me today, and I asked her…"is something wrong?" she answered "I was about to ask you the same question."
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Work of art.Don't wince at my scars, instead use them to find where I am broken, and put your body against the cracks.Work of art.9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don't let me fall out of myself again, the parts might fit together, but the breaks are never clean.
Sometimes I feel like glass in the middle of a war zone, just the sound of goodbye may destroy me.
I've picked up the pieces before, cut myself with shards of who I was, carefully pasted them together with who I am, hoping no one would notice.
The trouble is the masking tape I used, doesn't seem to mask anymore.
The trouble is I leave tiny bits of myself behind me, just so I can be found.
The trouble is my heart is made of clay and it might just break with one more fall.
Maybe that's the wonder of me, even once i've broken…I can break again.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
My kind of love.I want the kind of love that forms colourful wings in my stomach that fly in circles because they're disorientated from my hearts heavy beating.My kind of love.9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want the kind of love that's so radiant, I can't even bare to look in it's direction without closing my eyes first–– it burns brighter than the sun.
The kind of love that starts off slow then gains on you like a cheetah, devouring you into itself, for sustenance, creating a pattern only known to the gods.
A love that scares the fear, out of my life; making anything possible again.
A love that regresses two adults back into kids, playing hide and seek with their future.
I want the kind of love that's a Sunday in the middle of the week––inconvenient.
I want the kind of love that dances at a funeral––inappropriate.
I want the kind of love that's a muse to an artist––inspiring.
I want the kind of love that's a .44 magnum revolver in a trunk of BB guns––authentic.
Love that sparkles in t
SynchronousA little girl waltzes to a tune in her head.Synchronous8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
A young boy begs the streets for some bread.
A mother waits in a hospital room full of dread.
A groom smiles at his wife-to-be as they wed.
An old lady pulls the last bit of her thread.
A homeless man stares at a stores comfy bed.
A boy loves a girl; she loves a woman instead.
A teenager writes a suicide note to be read.
A drunk man doesn't see the truck up ahead.
A once minor virus, begins to spread.
A billion single tears are being shed.
An army of first-time soldiers are being lead.
A colourblind man see's a lady in red.
A heartbeat begins, after being pronounced dead.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
The end.Touch me like it's the last time you'll ever feel my skin under your fingertips.The end.9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Kiss me like it's the last time you'll ever feel your lips against mine.
Hold me like it's the last time you'll ever feel my body in your arms.
Love me like it's the last time you'll ever feel me love you back.
Because it is.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Senseless.I didn't fall in love with you; I tripped over your facade.Senseless.10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
You weren't my other half; I was whole all along.
Love isn't blind; it's senseless.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez 2013
Little, amazing, fucked up, me.I get along with people who smoke weed, who have done MDMA, who have tripped donkey balls on LSD. I get along with people who have a mushroom experience… to tell, a drunken story that is unbeatable, a rebellious reminiscence, that makes me feel alive.Little, amazing, fucked up, me.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I get along with the fucked up kids.
I get along with the kids, who do not fit in with the mainstream crowd.
I get along with the misfits, who doubt themselves and ask themselves daily "why am I here?"
I get along with those who don't judge, but who are judged.
I get along with those who appreciate reality, in its most deformed, diluted, and incomprehensible state.
Normal is overrated.
Normality is boring.
Give me a fucked up chick, with scars, a guitar, and an endless game of truth or dare… any day
Give me a fucked up guy, with bruises, white socks, leather jackets, tattoos, and a taste for mystery.
Give me a man, who will look into my eyes and see the next 50 years of his life, in ecstasy… knowing I will do him good
.how to comfort someone.9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
with an anxiety disorder:
tell them to
that they only panic
because they're just not
to handle themselves.
say that it's not
since it's not bad for you,
it can't be for
that's just how it works,
is my personal favorite.
because the one thing
that i want to hear
when i'm choking on my own sweat
is that i need to calm down.
Beholder.She leans in to the mirror, and lets out a disappointed sigh––Beholder.11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
moves her face in every angle…out comes a soft... "why?"
He walks into his room and falls face-first on his bed––
he screams into his pillow and raises his hands to his head.
She covers the mirror with her towel, and begins to undress––
she throws her clothes around the bathroom "i'm a fucking mess."
He turns onto his back, his eyes red and damp––
he reaches for a photograph, behind his bed-side lamp.
She sits in the shower, crying, leaning on the wall––
she dries up in her room, lets the wet towel fall.
He puts his hand on the photograph, and a smile appears––
"so damn beautiful" he whispers and then… start the tears.
She sits on her bed, opens up her journal to write––
she stops at a page named 'Jack' and stares lost in sight.
He punches the wall, and his knuckles begin to bleed––
She writes it all out, and then s
SelfI’m afraid of being afraid, worried about feeling worried, and anxious about my anxieties.Self2 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Confusion, confusion, confusion, sense.
Losing self while trying to gain my strength, finding nowhere while trying to escape my somewhere.
Smiling only to end up wiping away my tears.
Crying only to end up intensely inspired.
Writing to let my soul drip ink; over pages as I blink away the ache falling from my eyes.
Feeling so alive, feeling so untouchable, feeling like I can fly.
Cowering into a corner when I’m what scares me most.
Holding my hand out until I grab it on the other side.
Confusion, confusion, confusion, sense.
I blossom, only to shrivel up, I shrivel up, only to blossom. I live only to die, I die only to live.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Anorexia Nervosa“Anorexia isn't about being fat, it's about having fat.” ― Caroline Kettlewell, Skin GameAnorexia Nervosa8 months ago in Personal More Like This
Anorexia nervosa has the highest rate of mortality of any psychological disorder.
The literal meaning of the word “anorexia” is the lack of appetite. However, people with the eating disorder anorexia nervosa do not, in fact, lose their appetite at all. Anorexia nervosa is most closely characterized by a person’s extreme reduction of food intake—starving themselves to become thin. Not only is this a serious health condition, but it’s a severe psychiatric disorder as well. Those who have been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa have an irrational fear of gaining weight and an unhealthy obsession with having a thin body. People affected by this disorde
His and her love."Don't let go", he said,His and her love.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
she complied, as he bled.
"I love you more than life,
my one and only; my wife.
––Don't cry for me baby,
just promise to never forget me"
She wept and held him tight,
shaking, in the cold of night.
She pulled out the blade,
his vision began to fade.
"I refuse to let you go,
you know that you're my beau.
Stay with me… right now,
don't leave me like this…how?
I can't love you more than this,
nothing comes close to when we kiss.
WE have to be kept alive!,
let's BOTH fall and take the dive!
you and me… in the dark…
forever igniting…our spark…
I said I'd die for you, I meant it."
tears fell down his face as she said it.
"It has all lead up to this instant,
you and I, our existence...
We'll rise up to the sky,
we'll be together when we die.
Just me… and you,
Forever in my heart.
you are my missing part."
She grabed the knife on the floor,
and lay still, by his side forever more.
"I love yo
Hard day? me too.Stay positive, all is well.Hard day? me too.7 months ago in Personal More Like This
Do not doubt that the universe is bringing you your every want and need.
Send out love, and open yourself to it in return.
You're alive, feel it.
You're exactly where you're meant to be this instant.
Things may be moving slowly, but they're moving, even minuscule progress is progress.
One step back is not regressing to the beginning, it's dancing with life, learning the moves, so you can follow it's lead better.
Learn from your mistakes, and don't be so hard on yourself.
Relax, you deserve it.
You deserve everything beautiful in this world, and it is there for you to claim.
Claim your confidence now, and inhale the possibilities that come wrapped in it.
You are loved, you are loveable, you love.
Appreciate life, be happy & radiate positivity.
Stay focused, stay present, stay true.
-- A note to me & you
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
I'm here.I want to have a thousand different lives, right now.I'm here.9 months ago in Emotional More Like This
I feel like I belong in so many things I've merely witnessed.
I want to travel to all the countries I feel connected with, and be part of its culture; while still remaining myself.
I want to dance to the music that moves my soul, in as many different places I possibly can.
I want to connect with people from around the globe that have felt what I'm feeling right now.
I want to breathe the air into my lungs, knowing I live somewhere I've never lived before, and it's home.
I want who I am to make sense in a dozen different languages.
I want to know streets intimately, when I've lived my entire life across many oceans from them, thinking that was it.
Who says any of this is impossible.. A year in any place can feel more like home than 60 years in the same household.
I can be peoples home, they can come to me when they're done with their day, and I can wait for them with a bottle of wine to talk about life's fleeting instances.
Take It All Away.There’s a tear between each smile and a fracture on my heartTake It All Away.6 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
And a thousand feelings breaking me and tearing me apart
Knowing when it’s over I may lose my sanity
Embrace the mess I am and the storm inside of me
In the dark I have a chance to fight away my problems
To ignore them all away instead of trying to solve them
All I saw when I looked back was a mass of insecurity
Laying waste to who I am and ripping at the seam
Lowering my already non-existent self-esteem
And I couldn’t help admitting I’m a self-made failure
Walking a broken path as a second-hand savior
And it all adds up to nothing; me in a nutshell
Yanking on the chain that tethers me to hell…
His BallerinaA gown of silk, flowing as a stream,His Ballerina6 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Her footsteps so gentle, perhaps she was a dream,
As he crouches near bushes to glare at the unseen,
And she danced like ballerina.
Her fingers combed her golden hair,
A perfect lady who didn't care
To see the man that would never dare
To touch a ballerina.
But desire grew, and patience died,
As a lovely girl danced before his eyes,
So he buried his heart, pulled out a knife,
And tickled the ballerina.
She fought his hands, in fear of death,
A dirty blade sinking through her chest,
For he would never settle for something less,
As she screamed,
She took her final breath...
And the wind grew calm, barely blowing on the stream.
Her voice so quiet (perhaps it was a dream).
As he closes his eyes, cradling his queen...
His beautiful ballerina.
You said hello as you walked away.You knocked on my door, when I had already left the apartment.You said hello as you walked away.8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
You whispered "I want you back", once I had gone deaf.
You called me constantly, when my number was not in service.
You said you had my back, when all I could see was yours.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
m.a.m.ji.marchm.a.m.j3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
the wind had eaten
flyaway bones. i think i
had started killing
my own heart to
it was the warmth
that i always seem
to fall in love
with. sun. and the grass under
my hands. i started to
with unopened books in my
heart, i found myself
lost in the home
of an almond eyed boy
with a pocket-knife
heart. he pushed me into
a bed of roses. i now have
twice the scars.
i sit, now, with
typewriter keys between my
teeth. while searching my ribcage
for a spare battery, i
a fresh set of lungs (and i
really am beginning to
Inordinate-she's petrifiedInordinate8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
of being fixed
because being broken
is all she's ever known-
Where?Where do heartbeats goWhere?9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
when they’re long and gone?
Where do memories go
when they don’t want to be found?
Where’s the time for the dreamers
who have no choice but to run?
When does time make its stop
to deliver the fun; it’s frighteningly
fast even when nothing’s been done.
This is for all those who have
ever cried over the amount of wasted time;
for the girls with forced smiles,
for the boys that they find.
They think they can change them,
they think that they know,
but when their time’s over,
they’ll wonder where it goes.
I know because I tried,
and it didn’t go very well
because my pocket’s all empty
from making wishes in wells.
And I still don’t know
where my time went;
I don’t know where it can be found.
Does it pack its bag up, when the
heart’s all frightened and gone?
Does it cuddle in the corner
and cry itself to sleep? Because
it was wasted on selfish treaties only to be
discarded after weeks?
Does the tim
Poem for two.You draw a smile across my face, like a child on her first day of school, anxious to impress. You make me happy.Poem for two.1 year ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Your eyes are crystals of perfection, covered in sparkles of delight, born from inspiration that the universe gets from your existence. You are beautiful.
You dress me in happiness, you make my skin glow through the fabric, with the undeniable love I have for your soul. You suit me.
You make my heart beat to the sound of your own; it forms a vibration that the sun, sky, and the entire earth can dance to in their sleep. You make me smile.
You play my skin like a flesh-bound piano, you hit notes of ecstasy with your fingertips, you make a song with your infectious rhythm, you reach a crescendo with your smell. You sound magnificent.
You scratch your passion into my back, you form a trail of lust down my spine, you dig your nails into my flesh, and bleed out all the sorrow from my veins. You do me good.
You take my heart in between you
three-hundred-sixty-sixi am three-hundred-sixty-six seconds too late.three-hundred-sixty-six8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
i wake up late
barely dress myself.
i leave late because
i forget it is winter
and there is frost
on my car. i get to school
to get a good parking space.
and somehow my work is always
turned in just
a little too late.
i am three-hundred-sixty-six minutes too late.
i leave school every day
at the last late bell.
jump in my car,
get home for dinner too late.
skip it because
one meal a day is quite enough.
i stay up late.
late into the hours.
no one knows just what i even do
when it is one a.m. and
the rain is pelting my window. sometimes
i wish i could be like the rain.
sometimes, instead of going against
the clock, i wish i could
run with the wind. float. fly.
but i am always too late.
and it seems,
i am not just three-hundred-sixty-six seconds or
three-hundred-sixty-six minutes or
even three-hundred-sixty-six hours
i am three-h
disorder"mirror, mirror, on the walldisorder8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
who's the fairest of them all?"
i whispered to my doleful reflection,
but this was no fairy tale:
this was a small town on a cold, foggy night.
my skeleton was so beautiful
i wanted to showcase it,
give onlookers a glimpse of my impending
death through my very flesh.
i could picture myself, edges carved away
like a cored apple.
i just wanted to feel real.
everyone around me chewed and swallowed so easily
but i just gnawed on my lip until i
tasted blood, and let
a piece of myself die.
the flavor made my mouth water
as my stomach ground out hoarse
requests for expansion, for meaning.
i held nothing within but pathetic yearning,
hollow with self-hatred.
i could only feel affection with pain.
perfection became my obsession,
consuming me alive the way i would have
loved to consume anything at all.
some part of me believe i could be a super model,
and living my life on ambition and emptiness
was the way to do it.
every day i watched the little numbers
the infinity complex.9:42 p.m;the infinity complex.3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
i am here
sitting on stained white
sheets and choking on
in a world full of
people, i am stuck feeling
empty; there is nothing
human inside of
me. it is all
sloppy stanzas and half-finished
novels for a girl i
loved and never got to love.
approximately 7.046 lives on this
planet, and i am left feeling
4/10i have a habit4/105 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
of falling in love
and in those
in betweens, i learn
to love the galaxy and
hell all at
once- it's such
a big love, something so
profound that there
are simply no
words to describe it.
then all at once
empty. it's the kind
of loneliness that feels
youthful, and it's
painful. it burns.
the worst part
is i know what
hold, and i
walk into it every single