A stranger walked up to me today...A man walked up to me and asked me for a cigarette… I told him I didn't smoke anymore, and he asked me why? ––I answered "because the person I used to smoke with, isn't around anymore", and he replied…"that's why I smoke."
A woman walked up to me and asked me for drugs, I replied "I have several in store…his eyes, his smile, his hands"…she whispered, "that's not a drug"…and I laughed as I said.. "if only you knew."
A child walked up to me today and asked me to play a game, I told them I was too tired to play games, i'd been playing for years, they replied…"then you must be a pro!", to which I said "yes…a pro at losing."
An old woman stared at me today, and I asked her…"is something wrong?" she answered "I was about to ask you the same question."
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Work of art.Don't wince at my scars, instead use them to find where I am broken, and put your body against the cracks.Work of art.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don't let me fall out of myself again, the parts might fit together, but the breaks are never clean.
Sometimes I feel like glass in the middle of a war zone, just the sound of goodbye may destroy me.
I've picked up the pieces before, cut myself with shards of who I was, carefully pasted them together with who I am, hoping no one would notice.
The trouble is the masking tape I used, doesn't seem to mask anymore.
The trouble is I leave tiny bits of myself behind me, just so I can be found.
The trouble is my heart is made of clay and it might just break with one more fall.
Maybe that's the wonder of me, even once i've broken…I can break again.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
My kind of love.I want the kind of love that forms colourful wings in my stomach. Wings that fly in circles because they're disorientated from my hearts heavy beating.My kind of love.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want the kind of love that's so radiant, I can't even bare to look in its direction without closing my eyes first–– it burns brighter than the sun.
A love that scares the fear out of my life, making anything possible again.
A love that regresses two adults back into kids, playing hide and seek with their future.
I want the kind of love that's a Sunday in the middle of the week –– inconvenient.
A kind of love that dances at a funeral –– inappropriate.
Love that's a muse to an artist –– inspiring.
The kind of love that's a .44 magnum revolver in a trunk of BB guns –– authentic.
Love that sparkles in the dark like pearls around the moons neck.
Love that speaks in tongues possessed by the spirit our two souls create.
Love that regenerates like a phoenix, and flies us on it's back
The end.Touch me like it's the last time you'll ever feel my skin under your fingertips.The end.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Kiss me like it's the last time you'll ever feel your lips against mine.
Hold me like it's the last time you'll ever feel my body in your arms.
Love me like it's the last time you'll ever feel me love you back.
Because it is.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Senseless.I didn't fall in love with you; I tripped over your facade.Senseless.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
You weren't my other half; I was whole all along.
Love isn't blind; it's senseless.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez 2013
SynchronousA little girl waltzes to a tune in her head.Synchronous1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
A young boy begs the streets for some bread.
A mother waits in a hospital room full of dread.
A groom smiles at his wife-to-be as they wed.
An old lady pulls the last bit of her thread.
A homeless man stares at a stores comfy bed.
A boy loves a girl; she loves a woman instead.
A teenager writes a suicide note to be read.
A drunk man doesn't see the truck up ahead.
A once minor virus, begins to spread.
A billion single tears are being shed.
An army of first-time soldiers are being lead.
A colourblind man see's a lady in red.
A heartbeat begins, after being pronounced dead.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Little, amazing, fucked up, me.I get along with people who smoke weed, who have done MDMA, who have tripped donkey balls on LSD. I get along with people who have a mushroom experience… to tell, a drunken story that is unbeatable, a rebellious reminiscence, that makes me feel alive.Little, amazing, fucked up, me.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I get along with the fucked up kids.
I get along with the kids, who do not fit in with the mainstream crowd.
I get along with the misfits, who doubt themselves and ask themselves daily "why am I here?"
I get along with those who don't judge, but who are judged.
I get along with those who appreciate reality, in its most deformed, diluted, and incomprehensible state.
Normal is overrated.
Normality is boring.
Give me a fucked up chick, with scars, a guitar, and an endless game of truth or dare… any day
Give me a fucked up guy, with bruises, white socks, leather jackets, tattoos, and a taste for mystery.
Give me a man, who will look into my eyes and see the next 50 years of his life, in ecstasy… knowing I will do him good
Dear once lover.You stole my confidence; you took it like you owned it, you smothered it in neglect, and you threw it in the black hole of your absence.Dear once lover.2 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
You used my patience; you smoked it like a drug, you took advantage of my presence, you evaporated us into nothing.
You decapitated our relationship; you cut it at the root, you shook out all the good, and threw the body into your subconscious.
You cut up my affections; you stored them in your selfishness, and turned them to dust.
You broke my heart. You took it in your hands, you tore it into two, it turned cold as ice, and you shattered it across my future with you.
You shocked me to the core, a surreality I long to never feel again. The abundance of my tears was enough to drown me, and suffocate me into an eternal river of agony –– that my memories of 'us' will float upon.
You deceived me beyond repair, I thought you would hold me through the hard times, instead you trampled on my pride, you flattened my hope, you destroyed the lov
SelfI’m afraid of being afraid, worried about feeling worried, and anxious about my anxieties.Self10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Confusion, confusion, confusion, sense.
Losing self while trying to gain my strength, finding nowhere while trying to escape my somewhere.
Smiling only to end up wiping away my tears.
Crying only to end up intensely inspired.
Writing to let my soul drip ink; over pages as I blink away the ache falling from my eyes.
Feeling so alive, feeling so untouchable, feeling like I can fly.
Cowering into a corner when I’m what scares me most.
Holding my hand out until I grab it on the other side.
Confusion, confusion, confusion, sense.
I blossom, only to shrivel up, I shrivel up, only to blossom. I live only to die, I die only to live.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
.how to comfort someone.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
with an anxiety disorder:
tell them to
that they only panic
because they're just not
to handle themselves.
say that it's not
since it's not bad for you,
it can't be for
that's just how it works,
is my personal favorite.
because the one thing
that i want to hear
when i'm choking on my own sweat
is that i need to calm down.
How did I love you?How did I love you?How did I love you?1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Intensely, immensely, densely to the point of stupid, I think the naked baby had it in for me, little cupid.––Struck me with the bow, the poison started slow, then it caught momentum and began to grow, took over like a ball of snow, quite the blow, but now I know, it was just a once-upon-a-time-ago.
How did I love you?
Let me count the ways, actually let me count the days, the overnight stays, wakin' up to blaze, to sustain a decent daze–– I guess we'll chalk it down to just a phase.––
That lasted years, building fears releasing tears, downing beers, forcing happiness back in gear, oh dear, the end is near, afraid to see us clear––
Incase we saw, our frozen love, began to thaw, yet we stuck around for more.––
We were happy, unless we weren't, too close to the flame, we got burnt, it took us years, we finally learnt––
To call it quits, it was on the fritz, no longer fit–
discussionDo you ever thinkdiscussion10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
life is just
until you don't?
My friend once told me
that everything you do in life
simply leads up to your death.
Which, I suppose,
but I like to think of it
as living and living
until death stops you
from living anymore.
"Why do anything in life,"
"if you're going to die anyway?"
I thought for a moment,
and then replied,
"Why do people send roses
to their loved ones
if the flowers just die?
Maybe everything is
Maybe we should stop
looking for forever,
because we're never going
to find it.
You don't get a prize
It would be in your best interests
to live right now,
don't you think?"
Beholder.She leans in to the mirror, and lets out a disappointed sigh––Beholder.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
moves her face in every angle…out comes a soft... "why?"
He walks into his room and falls face-first on his bed––
he screams into his pillow and raises his hands to his head.
She covers the mirror with her towel, and begins to undress––
she throws her clothes around the bathroom "i'm a fucking mess."
He turns onto his back, his eyes red and damp––
he reaches for a photograph, behind his bed-side lamp.
She sits in the shower, crying, leaning on the wall––
she dries up in her room, lets the wet towel fall.
He puts his hand on the photograph, and a smile appears––
"so damn beautiful" he whispers and then… start the tears.
She sits on her bed, opens up her journal to write––
she stops at a page named 'Jack' and stares lost in sight.
He punches the wall, and his knuckles begin to bleed––
She writes it all out, and then s
His and her love."Don't let go", he said,His and her love.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she complied, as he bled.
"I love you more than life,
my one and only; my wife.
––Don't cry for me baby,
just promise to never forget me"
She wept and held him tight,
shaking, in the cold of night.
She pulled out the blade,
his vision began to fade.
"I refuse to let you go,
you know that you're my beau.
Stay with me… right now,
don't leave me like this…how?
I can't love you more than this,
nothing comes close to when we kiss.
WE have to be kept alive!,
let's BOTH fall and take the dive!
you and me… in the dark…
forever igniting…our spark…
I said I'd die for you, I meant it."
tears fell down his face as she said it.
"It has all lead up to this instant,
you and I, our existence...
We'll rise up to the sky,
we'll be together when we die.
Just me… and you,
Forever in my heart.
you are my missing part."
She grabed the knife on the floor,
and lay still, by his side forever more.
"I love yo
His BallerinaA gown of silk, flowing as a stream,His Ballerina1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Her footsteps so gentle, perhaps she was a dream,
As he crouches near bushes to glare at the unseen,
And she danced like ballerina.
Her fingers combed her golden hair,
A perfect lady who didn't care
To see the man that would never dare
To touch a ballerina.
But desire grew, and patience died,
As a lovely girl danced before his eyes,
So he buried his heart, pulled out a knife,
And tickled the ballerina.
She fought his hands, in fear of death,
A dirty blade sinking through her chest,
For he would never settle for something less,
As she screamed,
She took her final breath...
And the wind grew calm, barely blowing on the stream.
Her voice so quiet (perhaps it was a dream).
As he closes his eyes, cradling his queen...
His beautiful ballerina.
ScatteredSunflowers and peace signs.Scattered1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Cigarettes and spill stains.
Umbilical chords and eulogies.
Running from self.
Running out of time.
Running into eternity.
Falling into darkness.
Falling in love.
Falling out of life.
Sunrises wed with sunsets.
Day making love to night.
Forever, never's mistress.
Broken glass and promises.
Cuts and contusions.
Dreams and stupor.
Seeing the us in others.
Feeling others in ourselves.
Looking through the hour glass.
Finding the universe within.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
4/10i have a habit4/101 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
of falling in love
and in those
in betweens, i learn
to love the galaxy and
hell all at
once- it's such
a big love, something so
profound that there
are simply no
words to describe it.
then all at once
empty. it's the kind
of loneliness that feels
youthful, and it's
painful. it burns.
the worst part
is i know what
hold, and i
walk into it every single
Inordinate-she's petrifiedInordinate1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
of being fixed
because being broken
is all she's ever known-
how to be a poet: the basics.kiss all the peoplehow to be a poet: the basics.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
you know you shouldn't,
solely for the reason
that they look good
look at your scars
like mothers peer into
cradles. then make
more; make yourself into
a symbol for infinity,
or at least try,
because it never works.
patch yourself up.
say, "darling, you're okay,"
while staring at yourself in the
mirror with your hair
damp and your lips
chapped (refer to stanza
one). change. grow.
it's what we like to read,
miss the people in your life
until they leave,
and then miss yourself
as well. screw everything up,
and then write about it
like it had to happen.
try to believe it, ignore
the voice in your head that hisses
and groans in your sleep,
behind your eyelids.
"baby, you're a fuck up,
you know it know it know it".
try to carve the humming
out of your body
by exit way of your veins.
be hospitalized. give in, give up,
play along, stop writing.
but then you start writi
Anorexia Nervosa“Anorexia isn't about being fat, it's about having fat.” ― Caroline Kettlewell, Skin GameAnorexia Nervosa1 year ago in Personal More Like This
Anorexia nervosa has the highest rate of mortality of any psychological disorder.
The literal meaning of the word “anorexia” is the lack of appetite. However, people with the eating disorder anorexia nervosa do not, in fact, lose their appetite at all. Anorexia nervosa is most closely characterized by a person’s extreme reduction of food intake—starving themselves to become thin. Not only is this a serious health condition, but it’s a severe psychiatric disorder as well. Those who have been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa have an irrational fear of gaining weight and an unhealthy obsession with having a thin body. People affected by this disorde
Where?Where do heartbeats goWhere?1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
when they’re long and gone?
Where do memories go
when they don’t want to be found?
Where’s the time for the dreamers
who have no choice but to run?
When does time make its stop
to deliver the fun; it’s frighteningly
fast even when nothing’s been done.
This is for all those who have
ever cried over the amount of wasted time;
for the girls with forced smiles,
for the boys that they find.
They think they can change them,
they think that they know,
but when their time’s over,
they’ll wonder where it goes.
I know because I tried,
and it didn’t go very well
because my pocket’s all empty
from making wishes in wells.
And I still don’t know
where my time went;
I don’t know where it can be found.
Does it pack its bag up, when the
heart’s all frightened and gone?
Does it cuddle in the corner
and cry itself to sleep? Because
it was wasted on selfish treaties only to be
discarded after weeks?
Does the tim
the infinity complex.9:42 p.m;the infinity complex.11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
i am here
sitting on stained white
sheets and choking on
in a world full of
people, i am stuck feeling
empty; there is nothing
human inside of
me. it is all
sloppy stanzas and half-finished
novels for a girl i
loved and never got to love.
approximately 7.046 lives on this
planet, and i am left feeling
Midnight Thought ProcessPerhaps the trees live so long because they have no idea how long they've been around.Midnight Thought Process1 year ago in Philosophical More Like This
I stood with my wine glass and cigarette staring into the night as I heard the sound of fireworks, I wondered if the giant tree before me knew it was new years. There is nothing different from 11:59 to 12:00 yet we feel like it's a world away, because we judge many things in time, and we keep track of time in years.
I sat hugging a pillow, watching a 4 month old baby sleeping during his dream-feed and I wondered if the baby knew it was a boy. There is nothing different from a boy baby and a girl baby yet we feel like we have to define them because we judge others in life, and we keep track of others by categorisation.
Perhaps we should forget what year it is, and what we are…and just be.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
m.a.m.ji.marchm.a.m.j11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
the wind had eaten
flyaway bones. i think i
had started killing
my own heart to
it was the warmth
that i always seem
to fall in love
with. sun. and the grass under
my hands. i started to
with unopened books in my
heart, i found myself
lost in the home
of an almond eyed boy
with a pocket-knife
heart. he pushed me into
a bed of roses. i now have
twice the scars.
i sit, now, with
typewriter keys between my
teeth. while searching my ribcage
for a spare battery, i
a fresh set of lungs (and i
really am beginning to
Poem for two.You draw a smile across my face, like a child on her first day of school, anxious to impress. You make me happy.Poem for two.2 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Your eyes are crystals of perfection, covered in sparkles of delight, born from inspiration that the universe gets from your existence. You are beautiful.
You dress me in happiness, you make my skin glow through the fabric, with the undeniable love I have for your soul. You suit me.
You make my heart beat to the sound of your own; it forms a vibration that the sun, sky, and the entire earth can dance to in their sleep. You make me smile.
You play my skin like a flesh-bound piano, you hit notes of ecstasy with your fingertips, you make a song with your infectious rhythm, you reach a crescendo with your smell. You sound magnificent.
You scratch your passion into my back, you form a trail of lust down my spine, you dig your nails into my flesh, and bleed out all the sorrow from my veins. You do me good.
You take my heart in between you