Queen Sized CandaceQueen Sized CandaceQueen Sized Candace2 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Story by Dylan Carbonell
Written by Dylan Carbonell and Darren Heideman
[We open on Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. where an orange colored beam shoots out, followed by an explosion. Quickly following that, Perry is seen paragliding away to safety.]
Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
[At the Flynn-Fletcher home, Candace hops about and points towards the backyard.]
Candace: Mom, Dad! Mom, Dad! Look, look, look, look, look!
[Linda sighs and she and Lawrence head to the yard. There, Candace has her back to the yard, and folds her arms and smirks.]
Candace: Now tell me you don't see any solar powered, hovercraft bumper cars right in front of your very eyes.
Linda: We don't see any solar powered, hovercraft bumper cars right in front of our very eyes.
[Candace turns to see that there is only her brothers and their friends in the empty backyard. In utter shock, drops to her knees.]
Candace: WHERE...DID...IT...GO?! (sobs)
[Phineas and Ferb and their friends slowly walk
Drip Along CandaceCandace and Stacy are riding in on an open range in the old west.Drip Along Candace3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Stacy: *singing* I'm the flower of Gower Gulch
A cow puncher's sweetheart true
And my looks down amount to much
Because one of my eyes is blue
I got skin like prairie dog leather
I cook nothing but chuck wagon stew
My name is Stacy Hirano
I'm the flower of Gower Gulch
Candace: Western-Type Heroine
Stacy: Comedy Relief
Pan to Lawless Western Town known as Snake Bite Center
Population: 350 reduced to 349: Sheriff Wanted
Snake Bite Center Cemetery
Population: 23472986 increased to 23472987 (Sheriffs)
Bandits are robbing the local bank, a bakery known as "Custard's Last Stand", *rimshot* and a horse is stealing horseshoes from a blacksmith; even a bandit dummy tries to rob a native american dummy and a shop known as "Sitting Bull Curious" is being robbed as well
One bandit shoots at one civilian and they stop at a traffic light when another pair passes by and they continue doing their sequence
Two men on horses come
Grilled Cheese NightmareGrilled Cheese NightmareGrilled Cheese Nightmare3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Darren Heideman, Dylan Carbonell, & Andrew Mantynen
Based on Original Artwork by:
[Linda and Lawrence drive down the street and approach the house.]
Linda: Well, that convention was lackluster.
Lawrence: Yes, the rotary phone relay was undoubtedly the low point. But at least the auction wasn't a total loss. Where else could one buy a Platybelodon tooth? My brother's next birthday present is now taken care of.
[They pull into the driveway, where Candace stands, quivering in excitement. Linda and Lawrence step go out of the car and brace themselves.]
Candace: Mom! Dad! Look, look, look!
Linda: What is it this time?
Candace: They're doing a reenactment of the Anglo-Nepalese War.
[Linda and Lawrence look at her with arched eyebrows.]
Linda: The Anglo-Nepalese War?
Candace: Yes! Come on!
[Candace drags her parents to the gate and kicks it open.]
Candace: Now what to you have to say about that?
Lawrence: That's no Anglo-Nepalese War reenac
VacantI'm sick of nothing,Vacant5 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
Of simply being vacant,
I want something more.
Blank words fill my head.
It hurts to think about you,
I've nothing to lose
Not anymore, anyway.
But I didn't even get
A chance to lose it.
Staring at the screen,
I long to feel inspired
Even this is crap.
an Indian cityan Indian city4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
the chauffer adeptly circumvents the gentle elephant on the road
stops just short of touching the truck in the front
school-children squeeze through the gap
to continue their leisurely walk despite heavy bags
a biker misses our car mirror by a whisker
overtakes us from the wrong side
to vanish into
the rushing traffic lights, the stationary traffic lights
[trying to impose order when working]
the garish city neons, the brazen marble-clad shops
the sky is a luminous mica canopy
visibly changing colours
[making me acutely miss my painting]
far off dark clouds foretell likely showers
screaming hoardings and hawkers,
from rusty old marutis to shiny new Mercedes,
doors opening occasionally for the driver to spit out;
two-, three- and four-wheelers
smelly, perspiring, sticky pedestrians in vibrant clothes
talking animatedly on mobile phones, among or to themselves
deftly avoiding the puddles,pot-holes and dog-waste &
Review: Phineas and Ferb: Mission MarvelReview: Phineas and Ferb: Mission MarvelReview: Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel1 year ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
I won't lie, when I first heard about this, I was very nervous. I had images of Super Hero Squad playing in my mind, fulling fearful. As time went on, I went back and forth being interested and feeling dread about this. When it comes to cross-overs, I'm iffy about them, as in my experience, while some are good (Mega Man/Sonic the Hedgehog), others are just awful (Doctor Who/Star Trek). This one, well, I'd have to say...
It was okay. To me, yes, it did have some shortcomings, but it did have some beautifully done moments.
Starting off with the superheroes line-up, I was really disappointed by the selection. I do know that Dan Povenmire and Jeff Marsh were allowed only a selective few characters to use. They and the staff did a wonderful job with what they had access to, using their knowledge of the Marvel universe, as well as input from Marvel higher-ups and putting it all together so that it gels smoothly.
As much as I like the characters of Iro
Northwest Mounted Fireside GirlsAt the Fireside Girls' lodge one day, the Scout leader, a brown haired woman, wearing her own Fireside Uniform overlooked all the Fireside Girls.Northwest Mounted Fireside Girls2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Scout Leader: "Okay girls, I want to congratulate you all on doing such a fine job this past summer and we are ready to take on those nasty, vile, disgusting, conniving, TRASH TALKING, EVIL, MALEVOLENT...."
Ginger: "Uh, scout leader? You're going out of your zone again."
Ginger pointed out making her scout leader take a deep breath.
Scout Leader: "Oh, thank you Ginger, please forgive me girls, my doctor does tell me I'm getting better with my mood swings."
Adyson: "You know, when she gets angry like that, she kind of reminds of April Winchell."
Adyson said leaning over and whispering to Isabella.
Isabella: "I know, it's so eerie, they almost sound like the same person."
Isabella whispered back.
Scout Leader: "Now, now girls, remember we'll be going to the annual Fireside District awards and I expect to see you all there especially for our per
Candace CommotionCandace went out to the back yard to find Phineas and Ferb but didn't see them anywhere.Candace Commotion2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Candace: "Alright, Where are those two, because when I find them, they are going to be so..."
Candace walked off to the right where the gate to the backyard usually was but found nothing to be there and was now surrounded by white.
She then walked off-screen and poked her head around the corner.
Candace: "Hey, whoever's in charge here, where's the scenery?"
A background was drawn of inside Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.
Candace: "Wait 'til mom finds out what Phineas and...and..."
Candace looked to the screen and then walked off camera and then back on screen in a lab-coat.
Candace: "Today's the day when I start working at Doofenshmirtz Evil in..in.."
Candace saw the background had now become Perry's lair and walked off again and came back wearing Perry's fedora. She then walked to the chair but came face to face with a wall that was painted to look like Perry's lair.
Candace: "Okay listen Mister Wise Guy,
we, the peoplewe, the people4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as long as they are there,
poets will write
painters will paint
singers will sing
not because they are an inspiration
but because they are a hindrance
and all they can do to rid themselves of them is to
write, paint, sing
of course they will take turns
to ridicule the poems, to trash the paintings, to ignore the songs
to applaud the poems, to admire the paintings, to award the songs
their sheer number is frightening
their sheer shallowness is drowning
please go away
let artists be themselves
Big-Head in Li'l Danville: Pt1"Why is it every time Dad gets narcoleptic for history, he drags us to a museum?" Candace Flynn griped as she, her brothers and their pet platypus Perry followed their father Lawrence through the Danville Museum of Norwegian History. "And just when I finally had those two right where I wanted them."Big-Head in Li'l Danville: Pt14 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Phinnas, meanwhile, had other things on his mind. "How's our status for the world's largest pizza coming, Ferb?" Ferb brought out a calculator, did some number-crunching, and handed it to Phineas. "I see," he replied. "If these calculations are right, the dough should be done rising by the time we get back. I only hope the guys are okay holding the fort down while we're gone."
Back at the Flynn house, Isabella had just arrived for her daily visit. "Hey, boys," she greeted. "Wha'cha doin'?"
"Can't talk!" Baljeet screamed as he and Buford strained themselves against the door of what appeared to be a very large oven as it shook and rumbled ominously. "Must keep rising dough within g
Mission Marvel Redux: Part 1Mission Marvel Redux: Part 1Mission Marvel Redux: Part 11 year ago in Comedy More Like This
[Open up on At the Statue of Liberty, a caption is seen saying "New York”. Down on a street corner, a Hot Dog Vendor with the likeness of Stan Lee waits on a customer.]
Hot Dog Vendor: Hey, Vinnie, the usual?
Vinnie: Eh, I wanna try Chicago style.
[Everyone suddenly comes to an abrupt halt and glare at Vinnie.]
Vinnie: Oh, please let some sort of distraction happen.
[We hear a generic hip hop song playing in the background Spider-Man web slings his way around.]
New Yorker: Yeah! Go, Spider-Man!
Spider-Man: Woo!! (He gets splashed by a fire hydrant) I didn't know this was gonna be a pool party. I would've brought my trunks!
[Cut to another part of New York, where Doctor Strange, Ms. Marvel, and the Thing are battling with Venom and Enchantress. Ms. Marvel zaps Venom. Enchantress uses her powers to bring down a fire escape. Thing attempts to run at her but gets trapped by the fire escape remains. He breaks his way of of them and pulls a lamppost f
The Maltese PlatypusThe Maltese PlatypusThe Maltese Platypus3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
[We see a Venice like city in the early evening. On one of the canals, a gondola floats along. Inside are Candace and Jeremy, along with Stacy, who is propelling the boat.]
[Candace is caught up in the romantic setting and slides in closer to Jeremy. Taking notice, he starts to place his arm around her shoulder. They look to each other and start to smile, when...]
Stacy: (singing) Oh, hot pepperoni! Lots of salami! Topped with mozzarella!
[The atmosphere ruined, Candace turns around and looks to Stacy.]
Candace: (annoyed) Stacy.
Stacy: What, I'm hungry. Besides, remember why we're here. We've got to pick up your brothers and see if they've found out anything on the Maltese Platypus.
[The gondola is stopped outside a building, where Phineas and Ferb are seen running out of. They reach the gondola.]
Candace: What happened?
[The building there just ran out
Luau LunacyLuau LunacyLuau Lunacy11 months ago in Comedy More Like This
Song Lyrics by:
[We open on Candace, Stacy, and Jenny walking towards the Flynn-Fletcher House. They all carry bags from their shopping escapade.]
Jenny: Thanks for helping me pick out a new swimsuit.
Stacy: Tomorrow is gonna be so much fun.
[Suddenly, odd music is heard coming from outside.]
Candace: Wait, what is that?
Jenny: Sounds like Turkish music.
[Candace, Stacy, and Jenny go to the sliding door and open it. They then see a crowd of people in period Turkish clothes, waving flags and singing in jubilation. In the middle of it all are Phineas and Ferb.]
Candace: Phineas, Ferb, what is going on here?
Phineas: We're reenacting the celebrations in Turkey after the Allies withdrew from Galipoli during the first world war.
[Candace then looks to Ferb.]
Candace: Didn't the Allies include Britain?
Candace: So you're reenacting something that dealt with a British defeat?
Wintertime's FunWintertime's FunWintertime's Fun3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Darren Heideman & Andrew Mantynen
Song Lyrics by:
[The Flynn-Fletcher Home-The Backyard-Phineas and Ferb stand outside, enjoying the winter weather.]
Phineas: Ah...feel that chilly air. I can feel Jack Frost nipping at my nose already.
[It's then Jack Frost is shown in the corner of the tree in the backyard.]
Jack Frost: That's the biggest nose I ever nipped, if I do say so myself. (ducks away)
Phineas: Got any wintertime ideas, Ferb?
[Ferb shows Phineas a list.]
Phineas: Looks like we know what we're doing today.
Candace: (on phone) So, if you want, we could go sledding. I know a great hill.
Stacy: (on other end) Okay. I'll be right over and we can get Jenny.
Candace: See ya then, Stace. (She hangs up.)
[Later, Candace is in her winter outfit from the Christmas episode and has her toboggan when she greets Stacy.]
Stacy: Hey, Candace. What do you think of my new snow jacket?
[Stacy is wearing a huge puffy jacket that makes h
Mission Marvel Redux: Part 2Mission Marvel Redux Part 2Mission Marvel Redux: Part 21 year ago in Comedy More Like This
[Open up on the Flynn-Fletcher house.]
Spider-Man: (offscreen) Aren't you a little young to be stealing superheroes' superpowers?
[Cut to the kitchen]
Phineas: Yes. Yes, we would be, Spider-Man, if we actually did it. But like I said, I don't think we did. I mean, we were experimenting with cosmic rays.
Ben: Oh boy, I know about those.
Ms. Marvel: Well, the power-siphoning ray originated from the Tri-State Area. And we were thinking you guys would know something about it since it bounced off your space station.
Phineas: Are you sure it was our space station?
Ms. Marvel: It was shaped like your heads.
Phineas: Well, that sounds like ours, but we don't know anything about a power-siphoning ray.
Ms. Marvel: I was afraid of that. Well, the first thing we gotta do is get our powers back.
Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do...
Candace: (coming down the stairs) Alright, boys and girls, listen up, Mom and Dad are on a walking tour of Danville, so I'm in charge
Robin Williams R. I. P. 2014"Mork & Mindy: In Mork We Trust (#1.21)" (1979)Robin Williams R. I. P. 20146 months ago in Emotional More Like This
Orson: The report, Mork.
Mork: This week I discovered a terrible disease called loneliness.
Orson: Do many people on Earth suffer from this disease?
Mork: Oh yes sir, and how they suffer. One man I know suffers so much he has to take a medication called bourbon, even that doesn't help very much because then he can hear paint dry.
Orson: Does bed rest help?
Mork: No because I've heard that sleeping alone is part of the problem. You see, Orson, loneliness is a disease of the spirit. People who have it think that no one cares about them.
Orson: Do you have any idea why?
Mork: Yes sir you can count on me. You see, when children are young, they're told not to talk to strangers. When they go to school, they're told not to talk to the person next to them. Finally when they're very old, they're told not to talk to themselves, who's left?
Orson: Are you saying Earthlings make each other lonely?
Mork: No sir I'm saying just the opposite. They make
Gridiron GalsGridiron GalsGridiron Gals1 year ago in Comedy More Like This
Additional Material Written by:
[Open in the Flynn-Fletcher Home, where Linda and Lawrence walk into the living room, where Candace, Stacy, and Jenny are seated.]
Linda: Hi, girls. Ready for the football game today?
[Candace and her friends look depressed.]
Candace: Hey, Mom.
Linda: Well, what's wrong? You've been practicing all summer for it.
Candace: We were excited, that is, until we found out who we're going up against. The Capitol City Amazons.
Candace: Mom, you never heard of the Capitol City Amazons? The most dominate teenage girls summer football team in the entire Tri-State Area?
Linda: No, no I haven't. I take it they're good?
Candace: Good, they're unstoppable. Do you know what the Amazons did to the Prescott Pansies? They steamrolled them.
Jenny: They flattened the Wallaceburg Woodchucks.
Stacy: Heck, the Yancyfield Yellowbellies forfeited the second they heard they were scheduled to face them.
The Series End TiniesA is for Animaniacs, toons worthy of fameThe Series End Tinies2 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
B is for Buffy, hunting supernatural game
C is for Courage, a mutt with lots of fear
D is for Duckman, the wedding stops here
E is for Ed, Edd, n Eddy, respect gained after long
F is for Freakazoid, weirdness ending in song
G is for Garfield, who wanted no budget cuts
H is for Harvey Birdman, who died with courtroom nuts
Your show ended with some sort of reason
Let's see what happened in your last season
I is for iCarly, and its final web cast
J is for Jack, whose future legend was cut too fast
K is for King of the Hill, in all its propane
L is for Lost, the island just a past bane
M is for MST3K, its spoof satellite test
N is for Ned's Declassified, edutainment at its best
O is for One Piece, no more in the states
P is for Penelope Pitstop, and her ill-gotten fates
Your show ended with some sort of reason
Toons These Days S2 ScriptsTake a look in the descriptions to see the videos paired with these episodes!Toons These Days S2 Scripts10 months ago in Comedy More Like This
Here are the scripts I wrote for Season II of Toons These Days, by :icondoodley:, with Doggy voiced by :iconjoncausith:. This was a fun experience and a natural fit for me, as I identify a lot with Doggy. His opinion on modern cartoons reflect my own a lot of the time, and yet he's funny to me because he's obviously an exaggeration of those butthurt animation fans who can't take off the nostalgia goggles and can't accept cartoons for how they are now, a habit I constantly try to drop. I even auditioned for a replacement for Doggy's voice! The role ulimately went to Jon, but it turns out he did the role tons better than I could- as the season was out, he managed to match exactly how I envisioned the nuances perfectly, and could even improvise better than I ever could. I did wind up getting to voice Mickey Mouse in his off-screen cameo, as well as the ToonBoom bleep. Take a look particularly a
Oh, Were is My Jenny?Candace sat in the chair by the back door with a pen and note pad watching her brothers, and waiting for them to do something bustable.Oh, Were is My Jenny?11 months ago in Profiles More Like This
"Let's see: boys still sitting in the back yard, no change. Wait, enter Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford." Candace said to herself as she wrote all of this down.
"Now I just have to wait and see what they do next." Candace said as she continued viewing them all.
Outside, Buford looked disappointed.
"What's the matter Buford?" Phineas asked.
"I ordered these moon boots a few days ago and I just got them in the mail. But they don't make me jump high enough. I can only jump up as high as I normally can." Buford explained.
"Don't you hate that? You sometimes get upset by what you receive in the mail isn't what you thought it'd be?" Phineas asked.
"It would be really cool to jump up really high into the air." Isabella remarked.
"Hey, yeah. We could make our own moon shoes that actually make us bounce really high in the air. Ferb, I know what we're going to do
SciurophobiaSciurophobiaSciurophobia2 years ago in Comedy More Like This
by Darren Heideman & Dylan Carbonell
[The Flynn-Fletcher Home in the living room. Candace, looking bored, flips through various channels, looking for something to watch.]
Candace: Infomercial. (changes channel) Infomercial. (changes channel) Ooh, a Japanese game show? Oh, wait, infomercial. Ugh, why isn't there anything on?
[She presses the remote again and comes across a nature program.]
Narrator: Today we shall learn more about mammals of the family Sciuridae, or as most of you may know them, the squirrel.
[A squirrel appears on-screen and in response. Candace jumps up to the ceiling and claws on it like a cat.]
Candace: MOM, DAD! MOM, DAD!
[Linda and Lawrence rush in, bewildered by Candace clinging to the ceiling.]
Linda: Candace, honey, what is it?
Candace: (points to the TV) CHANGE THE CHANNEL! CHANGE THE CHANNEL!
[Linda looks to the TV and sees the image of the squirrel.]
Linda: Oh, for goodness sake, Candace, it's just a squirrel. (turns off the TV)
[Candace then dr
Tri-State Treasure: Better Boot of SecretsDanville was having a swap meet and everyone in town seemed to be coming to it, including the Flynn-Fletcher Family themselves.Tri-State Treasure: Better Boot of Secrets10 months ago in Profiles More Like This
"Oh, the swap meet, this has to be one of the my most favorite things to do!" Linda said with giddy delight.
"Indeed and I hope I find an 1807 Dorcham and Wesley Boot Scraper, but it's been lost to the sands of time! Hopefully I'll find it before my antiquing arch nemesis Worthington Dubois finds it." Lawrence explained.
"I didn't know you had a nemesis." Linda noted.
"You don't know everything about me."
"Ugh, can we just look through this whole thing and be done with it, please!" Candace groaned obviously not wanting to be there.
"Certainly, if you help me find what I'm looking for." Lawrence bargained.
"No thank you." Candace replied.
"Ferb and I would be happy to help you dad." Phineas remarked.
"Oh thank you boys. By the way, where's Perry?" Lawrence asked.
Perry meanwhile had sneaked off and went over to where a box of comic books were to open the top of
Mother of MasqueradesMother of MasqueradesMother of Masquerades3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
[The Flynn-Fletcher Home, the living room-Candace sits in her usual chair. She has an irritated look on her face as she talks on her cell phone to Stacy.]
Candace: Sorry I couldn't join you and Jenny in town, Stace. Mom's about to head out and I have to watch my brothers. I'm not in charge pertaining to special conditions, of course.
[On the streets of Danville, Stacy and Jenny travel about on their bikes.]
Stacy: Sorry about that. If we spot something you might like, we'll let you know. And we'll swing by later if you want.
Candace: Okay, bye.
[Stacy hangs up.]
Jenny: I guess she's not joining us today.
Stacy: Nope. She's in "semi-in charge" mode right now. (she makes air quotes when she says "semi-in charge")
[Suddenly both Stacy and Jenny skid to a stop.]
Stacy & Jenny: Hey, where's Perry?
[Perry's Lair-Perry arrives and takes his seat. Carl appears on the screen.]
Carl: Hi, Agent P, Major Monogram isn't here today. His mother-in-law
Excaliferb: A Further AdventureExcalibferb: A Further AdventureExcaliferb: A Further Adventure3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
& Dylan Carbonell
[At the family's home, Candavere walks down the stairs and she grabs the pole and buckets to fetch some water. Just as she swings the pole on her shoulders, she is called.]
[Candavere is quick to answer her mother's call.]
Linderella: Candavere, your father and I are going to head out to bury some more worthless trinkets, and then gather ingredients for my pies and other dishes for the upcoming feast. (she holds up a list)
[On the list, it's shown to include apricots, leeks, barley, and various innards.]
Candavere: Then does that mean I'm in charge?
Linderella: Yes, Candavere, you're in charge.
Candavere: Yes! (giggles mischievously) Oh, Phineas and Ferbalot! (She rushes, only to slam into the door) Yack! (She then swings the pole forward and steps out.)
[She finds the boys that their outdoor laboratory, studying something. She dashes forward, giggling.]
Candavere: Mom says I'm in char