undone. bird-bone wrists perched on window sills,undone.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you watch train tracks fall into the mist.
your breath is softly fogging the veiw,
but i don't say a word.
some silences can break like china if you breathe too hard.
the trees are angry strangers that make your hands shake when you think i'm not looking.
(i try to tell you the worst things are after you close your eyes,
but neither of us believe me.
when she says she's not afraid to step off this train,
we both know what she really means.
(she's scared to live.
because you're the kind of girl who hides sleeping pills in the corners of her smiles.
who overdoses on life but forgets to purge her insecurities.
who carries a knife in both pockets and laughs like br
i thoughti thought she wasn't reali thought3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a built up myth that i tried so hard to believe in
but i believed in the basis of reality
someone so pure but intoxicated
couldn't possibly exist
i needed to make her real
she was a fairy tale told to an optimistic child
but the optimism soon died
and i put tongue a little in my heart
and my thinking became chideous
i didn't think i could make her real
so distant, yet close to the heart
vicious nails that strip me of my trust
strip me of all that i know
and the angelic side of her was known
she had to be real
without her my existence is pointless
nothing to desire
nothing to strive for
she was the pinnacle of my very being
the reason for life
she wasn't real
I'll Fall With YouI'm holding onto your heartstringsI'll Fall With You4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and binding them to my own
with double knots of garden twine
so that maybe roses will grow
through the thorns that encircle your ribcage
and rise against your lungs.
You find questions in the space
of each sentence
and you aren't satisfied with answers
because you're more interested in searching
for the rain in rainbows
than the secrets I keep-
that I wish you would find.
You tell me you don't understand
why I'm still chasing a falling star
instead of exploring night skies
because you strike like lightening
and my veins are filled with thunder
so every time you race ahead
because at night the stardust
you leave on my lips
makes me want to shine
because the spaces between your fingers
somehow exactly fit mine.
A dreamI need you beside meA dream3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To hold me tightly,
And sing a sweet lullaby
As I close my eyes.
Your presence melts my stone-cold heart
I die inside when we're apart,
But you'll always be to me
You took away my pain,
But left me insane.
You'll never see my hurt
Till I'm six feet under dirt.
Your kiss takes my breath away.
Never leave; please always stay,
But this life will always be
Until the day I die,
Every night I'll cry
Until we are together:
Longer than forever.
Your love ignites a fire inside
Please stay here or I know I'll die,
But I'll never be to you
A dream come true.
breaking open.you made me want to break open like an eggshell over concrete: a messy affair, no clean edges or neat corners.breaking open.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you made me want to fall in rough zig-zag chalklines like we drew when we were young and fresh-flesh and unbroken. when life was yet untested waters and we were the new leather of of gloves over eager fingers.
you made me feel dirty like the red-blood-oklahoma dirt that clung like piss to our skin and under our tired-grit-eyed lids and beneath the hairline of our unshowered heads.
invasive, like a contagion; a wildfire in my limbs.
my own revulsion:
a knee-jerk reaction set to keep forever reliving the day i let you set the course for the empty air above the seductive gleam of a lake.
i wanted to inhale you like smoke into my polluted lungs, so that maybe as you dragged yourself back up my throat in jagged coughs, maybe you'd understand just a little the insides of me.
the truth is,
i started carving gills in my skin
so when his hands come for m
so close and yethe stood thereso close and yet3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with broken dreams falling all around him
like unfortunate birds
(fragile and feathered)
and the look on his face
mirrored my heart and bones
(shocked and hollow)
when I held out my hand
I rather thought that it would go
right through him
(crooked and true)
fingertips inches from his soul
I could only reach and wait
(sad and hopeful)
Distant Memories Of A Love Done Gone .They say it's difficult to love someoneDistant Memories Of A Love Done Gone .2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
When you can't even love yourself.
But I loved you nonetheless,
The problem was I didn't know when to stop.
You kept sending me mixed signs
Making me dizzy until I
Much less right
When our world started crumbling down and
T e a r i n g at the seams
It was so easy for you to let it fall apart.
But I, knowing no other kind of love,
desperately clung to the remaining bits,
Trying to put them back together.
Yet the pieces changed too much, too quickly,
They kept growing and
growing a p a r t,
until your world was only yours
and mine a hollow echo of its past.
Looking back now, it seems like it
All happened in a different life,
With some other you, some other me,
And the lips kissing my own were just a dream.
I play with Words like you play with Hearts .you are a brittle little thing butI play with Words like you play with Hearts .3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
your bite makes me restl-ess--
ays could be written about your
eyes, shimmering in the star-light--
headed is what you make me--
ddling into my heartst[r]ings until I am
in need of med-icine--
ss melting away at your heated t-ouch!
and yes, I want you inside me
and all around me
and never leaving my si[ght]de--
votion and affection surging th--
rough our beings playing, moving as
you're a slippery ro-ad--
diction hard to sha--
ke-en-edged and dange-rous--
ing my heart to bea-ting--
ling in my skin--
ned knees when f
Try AgainYou just have to try a little harder,Try Again3 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Start up again and then you may falter,
Make your foolproof plan,
Decide to succeed,
Hide in denial when the hope takes a leave,
Think it over again,
Give it one last shot,
Shoot for your goals,
Then watch the stars drop,
Let go of your dreams,
Let them fall to the ashes,
You have no more passion,
Pick yourself up,
Brush off the denial,
Pick up the movements that lay dusty in a pile,
Paint a new picture that uses old words,
Remember the reasons you wanted to be heard,
Stand there in silence,
Reminisce for a while,
Take time to recreate,
No more acting like a child,
Step back to the top,
Throw caution to the wind,
Time for action and consequences,
A victory song to sing.
relearn.reach out, palms down,relearn.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
fingernails catching moonlight
and watch your hands shake.
bury the nightmares you keep replaying in a black shroud
and tie them down with rusted chains.
breathe in the voices in the back of your head and lay them to rest alonside the
truth(lies) and dirty words they whisper(shout) to you.
let the memories scritch-scratch in your bones,
but neverever try and scritch-scratch them out.
reset you break-bone addictions and pick out the stitches
to see if they've healed into the silvery tape worms
you'll hide with your shirt-sleeves and oversized sweaters pulled down to your knuckles.
lift your chin and upturn your face,
learn to catch happiness on your tongue and wear it under your eyelids
and trap it in your voicebox.
remember where you hid it
because depression is a dirty blanket tied up in your throat
that willingly smothers all you have to give.
so keep breathing,
hold the sun in your smile and purge your insecuriti
In RuinsI am in ruinsIn Ruins3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
For all of time, my soul
While I live, as I breathe
Until I grow so very old
Your presence has transformed
The nature of existence
Altering a dead end path
No trace of fate's resistance
The songs which fill my smiles
The breeze of first caress
Fade for want of you, my dear
Entwined in evening's dress
In ruins for all pleasure,
Obsessions, and for care
Eyes cannot enchant my heart
All smiles now beware
The sunset lacks in luster
It cries out to the black
A trailing of the precious light
And presence that I lack
No lust sustains to slake
No colors bold as love
I fall, I fail unsatisfied
The world is not enough
I am in ruins
For now and all of time
For what I was and am, my love
and one day leave behind
vices.there's hell in your eyes, painting them black cesspits that could eat away the stars.vices.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you tell me you need out of your head. the moon pulls higher in the sky, quietly marking the hour. our feet hang over empty air, the tracks below an open casket. you inhale nicotine and exhale burning buildings. smoke curls like fingers into the body of the night.
we're breaking like an ocean. eggshells on pavement.
i can't hold you together,
so you down handfuls of little white pills like peppermint candies.
like if you just keep swallowing, they'll whitewash the walls of your ribcage and purge your dirty heart.
you drink like you're always thirsty,
like you've found the antidote to forgetting.
instead, i hold matches to the dry tinder of my parchment skin to see if it catches fire
to burn down the gosttown of all the things i can't forget.
i dig trenches in my skin to leak out poison pulsing in my veins and the dirty swingset in my bones.
we both have memories we can't kill.
the black in our
The Nameless DelugeThe Nameless Deluge of the ForgottenThe Nameless Deluge4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Rhyme of Ancient Structure
Wiping dawn's tears, i open my eyes
To crashing waves against the drone
Of huddled voices and horns
Desperately piercing the darkness
To be recognized over the noise
As, even in the darkest of depths,
There is no silence to be found
In this sea of salt and faceless steel.
A Promise Unspoken
Allowing the shadow masses
To sweep me off my feet
With their rhythmic ebbings
And directionless swells -
All serfs lapping against
The hull of a greater machine
Hoping to find safety in zenith
Else complacent to drown in nadir;
To Spur Refuge
Staring at a broken visage
Gliding aside me with the tides,
Gazing from out a smoother and darker void
To mock with more fluid a stride
And more bleak, cutting, and vacant of eyes.
Unperturbed - or unaware - of the engulfing world
Until shattered by the greens, yellows, and reds
Of the warning orbs atop the "lookout" masts.
Made To Be Broken
A kicked curb sluices
the little things.The night caves in.the little things.3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
there are no more pretty words on my lips.
the stars fall like planes in a tailspin.
and there is no more beauty in my pen,
only the self-loathing that shadows my mind and the blade on my skin.
and he's seafoam in the drain,
as out of place here as the seashells inhabiting the dresser in my room.
its not poetry anymore,
and the pain in my chest is so real i can taste it like cold steel.
his toes at the edge of the precipice as he burns the night down. your lungs are filled with flour and your eyes with ashes.
its the little things that break you.
so i'll swallow the emptiness inside like a bitter medicine. bite my cheeks until they bleed out my insecurities. i'm rotting from the inside out, but i can't let them know it.
too afraid if i set the rot free it will destroy me completely.
but maybe its already destroyed me.
the acid in my veins has laid me bare and defenseless. the bile and unborn words in my che
sheep-wool covered lies.i ate your heart and reveled in the way it smashed between my molars like ripe grapes, the way i could feel the pulse beating between my clenched jaw, the life squirming in and out to stain my lips. i swallowed it whole and felt it beating like a drummer boy in the pit of my belly, your sorrow the beat i danced my day to. your misery was a lullaby i sang to myself at night, the sheep i counted when my eyes were closed. i could feel it in the way it seeped into my veins and tangled around my bones like weeds growing too fast to contain. i gloried in the power it gave me, the way i could pull your strings and make you dance, the way i could bloody your soles and your soul and at the end of the day when i slept in my bed, it was made of the gnashed bones and entrails you left behind.sheep-wool covered lies.5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
is that what you want me to say?
if you want, i'll tell you about how i thrilled at the tears in your eyes. i'll tell you i manipulated the map to pull reality apart and create a fantasy for us to get lost in
dollarstore happy.this happiness feels fragile, like if i hold it too long it will break,dollarstore happy.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the way some things just do.
a dollarstore happy,
i like the weight of it on my skin though.
the way the fragile skin over my wrists has healed into soft tapeworms.
the way the sky seems bluer even when its grey.
i can feel my heartbeat in my fingertips.
my heart lives on the tip of my tongue where i keep swallowing it down
in the hope that someday it might stay down,
and i will be able to forget.
i will learn to forget the pulse in my wrists
and unlearn the butterflies that live under my ribcage.
i will call my heart the sea and sail it
instead of letting it drown me,
and allow my emotions to wash up on the beach of my doubts
and wither until you can smell the swell of happy i will wear in my bones.
i will refit the canvas of my skin
so that maybe someday i can for once in my life feel at home under my shatterglass ribcage and unzippered spine.
Blinded SoldierToday, your eyes are dark as night itself.Blinded Soldier3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
With elegance, I want your figure so.
And even though your love's for someone else,
my heart still burns ablaze, with thirst and growth.
I watch; I hear my soundless screams, and cry.
That such a beauty falls into wrong hands.
But knowing that a beaut's before my eyes,
I push my urge down to my throat, now banned.
Naïve, my sense of right and wrong and sin.
A conflict, battled strong and for release.
My wit and power brings no easy win,
and so, I feel that such a love must cease.
Like all good things, my love is near its end,
but I've fought hard, and 'tis what I defend.
Loving blindly .Darling, there was always a difference betweenLoving blindly .3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
who you are and how you made me feel;
Instant competition, perfect opposition,
I just chose to turn my compass backwards.
I cared too much about how the poison tasted
to notice I was drinking it while
forcing it down your throat.
I was too blind in bliss to see that
when we kissed, you spit it all in my mouth.
And when you gave me a mocking grin
while watching my body decay at your feet,
I wonder why did I always see
a loving smile?
I guess that's why our hearts are not eyes
and they beat on the left -
there's nothing right about loving blindly.
Wild Things and Make Beliefs.Pucker your lips andWild Things and Make Beliefs.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
my teeth will fill your mouth with
the metallic taste of
your own blood.
Take hold of my hand and
I'll point out all the perfect ways
don't fit together.
Plant kisses down my neck and
I'll tell you it feels just like
Keep me in your chest box
and I'll claw my way out
from between your fractured ribs.
Because to call you darling, I'd have to linger
but wild things are meant to run free.
This is not about you .These words are not about you.This is not about you .3 years ago in Emotional More Like This
The curves of these letters are here to imitate the shape of your spine when I have you pressed against the wall. They mock the shape of my breasts against your burning palms, the sharp prickle of your jaw resting at the base of my neck as you moan the name you could have sworn you've forgotten but it always just wiggles its way free from between your teeth.
Don't misunderstand, these words are not about you.
This is purely and solely about me and my battle between giving up and giving in. Either way, the winner turns out to be you.
I was counting crooked stars and telling you that snow feels hot to my touch when I'm high on apathy, when you caught me off-guard and set fire to my fingertips. I trusted you when you promised to leave me completely undesirous, and accidentally misheard that you can only promise to break every promise leaving your lips. For one second I believed that I have learned to keep my heart in a pocket, and then suddenly you stripped
wasting time.already,wasting time.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i have spent too many nights with metal kissing flesh,
too many nights just one step above empty air.
there are too many unwritten suicide notes in my head,
too many hours spent praying to a toilet that will never answer back 'thin enough'.
i have wasted my 18th year curled around too much sadness,
spending it in texts sent like stones i never should have thrown.
words i never should have let fall out of the unhinged socket of my mouth.
i am all helium and no balloon.
i have spent my problems lavishly,
i was a whore with my secrets.
i forgot how to fall apart quietly.
i fell asleep in depression loud as the thoughts in your head.
i let it settle in my bones but tried to dig it out by cutting deeper.
i learned healing is a meal i haven't learned to swallow yet,
and i am grieving something i haven't found.
my innocence is a book i never got to read,
a book he burned before i was old enough to say no.
i can feel my scars raised like white flags,
each valley a war won.
skin.skin taught hipbone to hipbone like the skin of a drum as my fingers play the keyboard of my ribs,skin.2 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
digging deep to pluck them like boomerangs from the corset of my chest. stomach like a cave whispering lies that echo in my bones.
there's a vortex in my middle
that i refuse to feed,
a blackhole that only grows.
(but it doesn't seem to know that i've forgotten how to be hungry).
the empty echos the ice in my heart and the empty in my head.
the countdown has begun.
(caged rabbit heart is dying slowly).
and i know you'll come again soon. you always do.
there is a dead songbird in my chest,
and its wings are clipped and laid to rest.
i know my place.
i know the way my body fits next to his like a corrupted equation. 2+2=8. but you and me will never equal a whole number.
this selfhate was hardwired into me at the age of 11 along with the memories of your searching hands presspresspressing into me like a prayer.
but there is nothing holy about your hands,
nothing sacred about my
past path - present painheartache tastes like a storm in summer.past path - present pain3 years ago in Emotional More Like This
it comes suddenly, soaking you to the bone to wash the same old yesterdays out of your bloodstream and leaves you feeling cold for longer than you can handle without making you sick.
time has played with my memories.
life twisted and turned until you faded out of it, like a moon that once ruled the sky hid behind the clouds. yet sometimes it gets curious and peeks from behind them, blinding me instantly.
a dull ache weighs down my chest.
it makes it hard to breathe when I realize that once the girl holding your hand was me. I was the one whose eyes you adored, whose lyrics you tried to decode, whose lips you bit in frustration. I was the one who made you cry, because you looked beautiful with tearstained cheeks and trembling hands holding me by the neck.
she can make you smile, but darling I made you laugh and scream at the same time, I made you break things to put them back together and in the morning I kissed you goodnight.
you won't find her in photographs.you won't find her in photographs packed in dusty tattered boxes.you won't find her in photographs.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
don't look for her in the black and white negatives you hold to the light.
she was the finger on the trigger, the eye behind the camera.
she was sand in my fingers, always passing through.
she was a dust moat, only seen through the looking glass of light falling in patterned beams.
she was a cloud,
and photographs could never pin her down.
if you see her,
it won't be in an album.
no, you will find her weaving daisy chains in downtown traffic. you will find her dropping pennies like bread crumbs so she will always find her way back,
and wishing on the moon when you can't see the stars. or holding shards of blue glass to the sky when the clouds don't break. you will find her wandering the forest barefoot, trees tugging at her hair or writing poetry in brail and in sharpie in neglected crannies on the subway,
because she always said art is for everyone, right?
she was an ocean,
don't try to hold her in a mason jar.