HiddenYou doubt me
cast me to the back of your thoughts
I dont want to be here
i want to be out in the open!
I want to be shared with the world!
because of the others words
you keep me hidden...
and whenever i show my face
trying to show you who you really are
you deny me
And shout those awful words
ever scaring words...
I guess i'll just stay here
waiting in the darkness until you're ready
continue to live the lie
continue to repress me
continue to deny me
I cannot fight it anymore
i cannot stop you
What is going on?
Believe In Yourself"Believe In Yourself"Believe In Yourself1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
By: Ulrich J S Edelstein
~Life has been barbaric to me in innumerable ways,
But it's also been a learning experience
And I've learned a lot from it.
Just living through the journey of it all.
~May not be as outstanding as I'd like it to be,
But I never know where life is gonna take me.
Could improve, could get more dreadful.
I may never know if I take my life.
~So, I just keep living hoping one day
I'll find ever lasting happiness and full fill dreams that I have.
And to find one person I can devote myself to and love endlessly.
~And be with that one person til the day life decides it's my time to expire.
That's my story.
For myself to you, I have much to articulate.
Please listen to every word of it.
~You have to look past all those attributes that you don't like about yourself.
And your visual image has nothing to do with it.
You'll one day fathom you are exquisite on the inside
And love yourself for being you.
~And it will all make sense to you
And you'll re
WorthlessLay down, silly little boyWorthless1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Close your eyes, foolish child
Did you really feel special?
Did you truly think, you were different?
Stand up, silly little toy
Open your eyes, troublesome gnat
Look into the shattered mirror
Watch the salty rain run wild
Do you see silly, little, tool?
With your hideous eyes, stupid kid
Your worth has burnt in fire
See the pathetic pile of ash?
Such a smart, silly, little brat
Such an understanding, foolish, rat
You can see your end is near
Why not speed things up;
Silly, little, boy?
A simple crushTick tock, Tick tock,A simple crush1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
hands are rushing down the clock
I wait for you ever hopeful
I feel like such a fool
I dream of our future
the kids we'll nurture
the memories we'll make
the stories we'll create
we may not be together
but I'll love you forever
Dear GodDear God,Dear God2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have some questions.
Why is my love for another man a sin?
What is so unacceptable about true love?
Why did you make me this way?
And don't even say that it's a choice.
I was born this way,
Just accept it.
You apparently made me the way I am.
So why is it so wrong,
To be me?
If I could choose,
I would be straight,
Considering how wrong I seem to be about love.
I would just like to say,
That you're misleading your people.
They have it all wrong.
Take this for instance:
People are being killed,
For something that they can't control.
For being themselves.
For doing something so...
I'm going to burn in Hell,
For not doing anything wrong,
Especially since I was made this way.
They call us faggots,
Say were "possessed by the Devil",
And attack our ways of life.
What did we do wrong?
How will our marriage affect them?
The simple answer is that it won't.
Nothing negative will happen,
If we en
To all homophobesAs they talk, how they think,To all homophobes1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
they believe, what they say,
only an expression of their nothingness.
Nothingness which they think,
To judge us.
Nothingness which they mean,
To tell us what is right.
To direct as they want,
to what we are not.
Of their void thinking,
they are not self-aware.
Too deep it is in them,
the compulsion to turn
and want to break.
Danger, a foreign word,
they do not fear.
They are safe of being.
They are protected.
The supporters of them,
are blinded of the same thing,
such as those of nothingness.
Are driven by the idea,
To conserve the nothingness.
Yet they all are taken,
from the resentment they draw on themselves,
Souls from which they sought
But they should know,
that the wrongs they do,
will not be tolerated.
The CycleThe Cycle.The Cycle9 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
When you were little, you were alone.
When you were a child, you feared her.
When you were a teenager, you hated her.
When you were an adult, she broke you.
When I was little, I was alone.
When I was a child, I feared you.
When I was a teenager, I hated you.
I’m an adult now, you broke me.
My biggest fear is when the next one comes.
When she is little, she will be alone.
When she is a child, she will fear me.
When she is a teenager, she will hate me.
When she is an adult, I will break her.
When I was little, I didn’t know.
When I was a child, I understood.
When I was a teenager, I made a plan.
I’m an adult now, the next one will not come.
The cycle ends with me…
L.E.S.B.I.A.N.Living on theL.E.S.B.I.A.N.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Edge of life
I truly am
As it is all i can be
Never forget that
A Razor's WordsDon't worry little girlA Razor's Words1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm not so far
I'm just beside your cold empty bed
I'm between the papers of your private book inside your dresser
You never forget me
I know you think of me constantly
You know you want me
You always hide me in the dark
And keep me in the silence
Because you don't want nobody to know about me
Or about our bloody secret
You know you want to take me
You hear me calling for you
You like my sound when I fall on the ground like the fine steel I am
You want me to give you pain I know
Just pick me up
I will be gentle, slip softly
And fast, you won't feel the hard pain
You know you want to feel me cutting under each thin layer of your skin
Fill your filthy desire with me
I'm shiny with odd shape
Rusty with rotten blood stains on my edges
Sharp and all you want to comfort your dead soul with
Don't be scared, for all you want is to feel numb
And I can make you feel good and lost
As you are always walking confused in your own dark and cloudy
Not aloneYou are not alone.Not alone3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Never, ever, forget that.
We all love you
Just the way you are.
Over the last year,
You've been dragged to hell and back,
By the ignorant, the selfish,
But you're still here.
I admire you so much,
You're so willful,
To be honest, if not for you
I probably wouldn't be here myself.
You've been my saving grace so many times,
I honestly don't know what I would've done
Every time that I see you,
You've had another piece of your soul
You're hurting so badly,
And it kills me.
You don't have to do this by yourself.
We all want to help,
To support you,
But, you have to let us in.
You are not alone.
It Wouldn't Hurt So BadI've never met somebodyIt Wouldn't Hurt So Bad1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Who does what you do
I've never known anyone
Quite like you
But the problem is this
Here in my heart
And now I have to end
What I can't start
And it wouldn't hurt so bad
If it didn't feel so good...
Seems like it should be easy
But it's just so hard
I need to come to my senses
Before it goes too far
I want you but I can't have you
So sad, so true
So why do I make a wish
That could never come true?
And it wouldn't hurt so bad
If it didn't feel so good
Because I'd be with you
If there was any way I ever could...
I can't help feeling how it could be
I close my eyes and you're here next to me
But all I'm seeing is hope start to fade
As time slips away...
And it wouldn't hurt so bad
If it didn't feel so good
Because I'd be with you
If there was any way I ever could
I really wouldn't need your touch
If I didn't want it so much
I know that I can't though I could
And it really wouldn't hurt so bad
If it didn't feel so good
My SociopathMy sociopath.My Sociopath1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
People are just a means,
To achieve your goals.
You don't really care.
It's all pretend.
I wonder if they can tell?
But I'm different.
I'm your love,
Even if I don't love you,
Even if I can't love you.
You will protect me,
And care for me,
And I will show you kindness.
I will act as if I care,
Because you make me happy.
Your manipulations will get you far,
Bitter disappointmentsSick and tired of standingBitter disappointments1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
falling fast and there’s no stopping
do you even feel my anger?
bitterness will surely drown me
grab on to me
there’s nothing else stopping me
letting go will surely kill me
but there’s no hand to grab me
falling faster can’t you see it?
nothing is there to hold me
your heartless words cant freeze me
I’m falling down just please catch me
wake up already you’re not dead
stop playing your foolish little games
face me you bitter disappointment
I’m falling faster can’t you see it?
Wake up already and stop acting dead
I know that you can hear me!
CigaretteHe breathed her In like smokeCigarette1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
She was the nicotine in his veins
She'd kill him from the inside
Fill his lungs and heart with pain
In return he'd suck out her life
Until she was nothing but ash
Once a burning hot ember
But her time has come to pass
Now, the two have tangoed
In a dance of passionate death
He drained her dry completely
She'd taken his last breath
Both of them have lost and won
For their own jurisdiction
Of course it's only natural
Love is an addiction
One Day Until TomorrowYou with your broken soulOne Day Until Tomorrow1 month ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Me with my bleeding heart
We couldn't be together
But we could not be apart
It wasn't hard to miss
The writing on the wall
So we should have jumped
Because it wasn't hard to fall
I crashed so many times
Each time I thought I could fly
Every book you started
Always ended in goodbye
And though it was so long ago
It still feels like yesterday
It doesn't matter what we do
There’s nothing we can say
Times that left us broken
Left us bleeding, burned and bruised
Love could only teach us
What it feels like to lose
To the fire and the flame
It could have been anything
But only brought us pain
Forever seems so far away
With so much left behind
There's nothing left to lose
Now that there’s nothing left but time
I couldn’t move the mountains
And you couldn't part the sea
But everything we would have done
And all that we could be
We have walked forever
Through the thunder and the dark
We both have fought with demons
And we wear our
What's the Definition of Perfect?I will never be the definition of perfect.What's the Definition of Perfect?1 month ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want to burn magazines,
And throw rocks at my T.V.
Just to block their noise.
I hate looking at a scale,
And feeling like I've failed.
I hate the number that appears,
It makes me want to disappear.
But then there is that moment I realize,
That this is my own life.
I will not live it,
By the rules of society.
I am my own definition of beauty.
And I am pretty damn good at it,
I am sure as hell not fat or ugly,
So screw all those names those kids said to me.
I am me,
I am not skinny.
I am not pretty
Not in societies eyes.
But that's okay because I am not fake,
I have plenty of mistakes.
But you know what,
Because I feel more beautiful than ever,
When I see myself in the mirror.
Just as me.
Than worrying about others,
And running from my imperfections in fear.
So guess what,
Fuck. You. Society
With your magazines and size 0 models,
Because that is something I never will be!
Let it go"Let it go"Let it go1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
A simple enough thing to do.
Just let go of my soul, corroded away.
Of my new character, shaped by despair.
Of my hatred, festering slowly inside me.
Of the grudges, held inside my shrivelled heart.
Of the scars that I gave myself.
A release of the pain you gave me.
Of my mind, now twisted and bitter.
Just let it go.
It would be easier to die.
My Life With Mental Illness Part:1My life with schizophrenia.My Life With Mental Illness Part:11 year ago in Emotional More Like This
My life depends on being in a tightrope
I have to always be firm for balance
Ie, every time I suffer a delusion or hallucination
The rope where I am begins to shake me trying of make me fall
But I have to be strong to ever fall.
My life with generalized anxiety.
It is very difficult to live in fear of just about everything around you
Never I leave home, because I think someone will do me harm
I'm never around someone, because he can make fun of me
Always my body and my hands are shaking non stop
I always feel anxious or concerned about something
There can never be a relaxing day for me.
Social AnxietyIt’s hard to explain, but I’ll give it a trySocial Anxiety2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It’s being afraid of people
Please don’t ask, I don’t know why
I am the quiet one,
The lonely shy girl who sits by herself
A girl without many friends
Cause I can’t seem to speak to anyone else
My throat gets tight
And my heart starts to pound
I try to talk
But I can’t make a sound
I hate this horrible self conscious fear
That’s always around
I always feel lonely
When I sit by myself
Tucked away from the world
Like a book on a shelf
There’s nothing I hate more
Than when people ask me “why are you so quiet”
Because they don’t see
This hurting pain inside me
I have this fear that never goes away
Muting my voice each and every day
It’s constantly controlling me
Locking me inside like a prison warder
It’s my Social Anxiety Disorder
What should I do?I feel trapped, enclosed like I'm in an animal cage.What should I do?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I do not like this place.
Actually...I don't like anything...
Or anyone for that matter....
I've been starving myself for days now too.
I can't control myself and my emotions.
"What's wrong with me?! "
"Why is this happening?!"
Are some questions that I've asked myself OVER AND OVER AGAIN!
These questions, however, we're not given any answers
They were left blank.
Just like the empty void where my sanity used to be...
I wonder what it feels like....
To be secure. Loved. Unharmed. Wanted .
To not be called a FREAK or maybe ABNORMAL
She is the RainHer eyes are dropletsShe is the Rain1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
that at will wax torrential
shredding scar tissue
revealing new flesh—
receding the Lake of Fire
where Archangel died
laying at the summit
of self-sacrificial vice.
Her hair is the daybreak:
cascading in waves
or ribbons of gold
lighter than ash
that razes the sky,
and we hold our breath
for the cloudburst
Thoughts at midnightAll I can feel is a deep searing pain.Thoughts at midnight6 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It runs in my blood.
It drives my insane.
It washes over me and I can't escape.
I do not want to leave
But I don't want to stay.
I am scared, so scared of what happens next.
Will I still be alive?
Or just end up dead?
I'm confused and hurt all at the same time.
Have you changed your mind?
Did you lose your shine?
I don't understand what you mean but I hope it's the truth.
I don't need explanations I just need proof.
Because This Isn't A MovieThere's nothing we can say to make this feel better. There's nothing we can do to make it go away.Because This Isn't A Movie3 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
There's no epilogue, no skipping ten years where we all grow and mature as adults and live with a happy ending.
There's no happy ending in life.
Because we can't kiss and make it up. Because we can't hug and make it better. Because you'll cry and I'll cry and she'll cry, because we all hate ourselves yet somehow not each other.
Because nothing's perfect. Because the edges always get chipped off and worn down, because the ink will always smudge. Because nomatter how hard you try you can't erase it. It will always be there, barely visible, but the indentations still on the page.
Because we told each other everything. There were no secrets. There was nothing left to apologize for. Because we wore it down too much and used up all the ink. Because we used it trying to cover up our mistakes. Because we used up the eraser and ripped a hole in the page trying to make it go away.
Because we cared.
WorthlessMommy tell me worthlessWorthless1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Daddy tell me worthless
Razor tell me come close
Dumb little girl I am
Can't find my way
In a straight jacket
Where I belong
Hold me close
Grab me tight
Against a wall
Push me hard
Bite me deep
And let me bleed
In my bed
Lay me down
Stab my guts
As my blood..