my body's slave is my mind.it's barely summer
but i've forgotten how to breathe;
i fall in love with strangers
before they even speak.
it's like i'm
within the pulsating crowd
like a fly trapped in a spider's web;
questions are spun
inferiority screams in my ear
& consumes all thoughts
until i can't hear
all the questions that are caught
between threads of my insecurities,
the fabric of my being -
tightening its grip
with everyone seeing
it's barely summer
but i can feel
each pump of my left ventricle
is an exertion against will,
& leaves me cripple
& frozen, still -
but feeling like i could run
before you could catch me.
i watch the moon
trade places with the sun,
racing against time,
but my day
has still not yet
autumn's garden.it was autumn's beginningautumn's garden.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
when he scattered a combination of kisses
on my collarbones & chest
(the rusted gate to the crevice of my crux)
in a vain attempt to unlock the possibility of a love so parched,
like the terrain of his treachery,
that the sweat determined to fall down our backs
would be enough to quench his thirst -
as if each kiss would be enough to transform my entire core
into a garden of his own
to play in.
with each kiss
he planted flowers in my heart,
with roots down to the core of my being,
knowing of the dark clouds
pouring down the rain from my brain,
nourishing the fruits of his labour
in a cool whirl -
a breeze enough to ruffle even the smallest of feathers,
swirl the dead-most leaves,
& arouse the most dormant
even if each kiss was enough to transform the crumbling of gates
(like an autumn leaf
slow dancing its way to the ground
in a fear of being crushed
by the foot steps left on my heart),
the falling of summer's lust,
& the trembling of hands against t
life lessons.laugh a little,life lessons.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
love a lot.
you'll get your heart broken
so maybe not,
but who am i
to call the shots?
sadness will consume you
if you allow it to.
happiness is a few steps away,
but it's up to you to find its path
& don't forget,
nothing will last.
take what you get
& work for what you want.
know that something will set
but waiting will get you nowhere.
be kind to those you love
so they'll know that you're there.
play the hand you're dealt
& gamble what you want.
learn to deal
because all of it is real.
learn your lessons
before you play them out.
know them thoroughly
before you get out.
last love (wanderlust was your home).kites flew in his mindlast love (wanderlust was your home).1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
& kept his head in the clouds,
forcing me to send messages to the sky
in hope he doesn't take flight
with my world on his shoulders.
he was a traveler
intent on conquering every mountain
he could lay his hands on,
& leaving every atlas
to burn beneath his fingers;
like pain searing on a map of hurt
on his lover's skin -
directionless but in motion.
cigarettes were his staple diet
with beer to wash out
the bitter taste of a quick fix.
his smoke & ashes injected adrenaline
into my wasted body
& set my vision straight
when i was getting drunk off of him
on a monday, or tuesday
(or any day mid-week).
intoxication was a breath of fresh air
on nights when he wasn't -
the nights that i had promised myself
i wouldn't cave in to my
spirits gave me spirit
& silenced my thoughts
to allow my body to speak for me
in a language i knew
he would understand.
he kept me close by his side
as he slept through the nights
that the weather shared our bodies' passion,
i vanish.a few excessive kilogramsi vanish.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
adorn my body,
stubborn in their departure:
like an uninvited guest
too dense to perceive
the subtle hints i leave
on my skin;
not feeling as blessed as i
could have been
if i were
if i am too much
then why do i feel like
i am not enough
for the starved society
that eats away at my insides
& feeds me
empty, palatable lies,
(a fabricated portrayal of reality's demise)
leaving me wishing
that each bittersweet tear i cry
is enough to rid my body,
my healthy home,
of excess salt
all through my eyes;
not realising that the number
beneath my feet
does little to measure
each person who feeds
off of my kindness, my sincerity,
that each time i bleed
in a well fed wish
i'm just another one of society's prey
to what they weigh.
braille.her paperthin skinbraille.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
bear the scars from within
& his hands seek
all that his eyes fail to satisfy.
he'll try to read her like braille -
he is too blind
to see otherwise.
actions may speak louder than words
but his touch has little worth
to someone who knows it can't
if his thirst is quenched
by mere touch,
he doesn't care too much
& if he is too poor of himself
then is she too cheap?
why does he explore each scar
like it's a prize
for him to keep?
an eye for an eye
would leave the whole world blind
but what do you do
if you want to leave the whole world
heretic.admired & afar,heretic.10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
his beauty became a childlike caricature
of his defiantly devious demeanour.
euphoric ecstasy found its feathers, flying him
'til gravity grounded gushes of his history on my helpless hips,
his insanity insistent on injecting juvenile judgments into my kingdom,
killing love & leaving lust,
as malleable memories manoeuvre my mind
near never-ending nausea.
oh, other-worldly oppression,
please place me at peace!
a qualm quickens the riot rising in the rosebud refuge of my ribcage,
sand spreading through the time-glass
underneath the vile vagrant with wicked wings,
wanting water in xerarch.
yes, i yowl, yes
.when her love left, it left.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
the house empty
and she says
i hope one day it'll
come back to me,
cos i don't keep this shotgun
on my front porch for nothin'
strong, held the seashorelet yourstrong, held the seashore7 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
and then collect
every grain of sand
october poems and cigarette endsi. where are the metaphorical cigarettes when you need them, augustus?october poems and cigarette ends1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
ii. the poetry fell through the cracked riverbanks of my mind and slid off to elsewhere
iii. so still, i continued to breathe the lovely mindfulness, the unconventional endlessness of consciousness nothing’s.
let’s call them dreamers.
iv. the poetry written on my bones fading with all the sleep i drank (till the drunk of November mornings), the dreams melting off like the stars which ate away at my skin and left me bleeding—dying.
v. so, this is what writer’s block feels like
the eradication of sweeter thoughts and dreams
vi. (i think i finally understood why van houten drank so much.)
vii. “but i think the words you write are beautiful,” he says. “you’re beautiful.”
“i’m not beau—”
viii. still i write with an unsettled heart and
as blue as the eyes which fell upon them
the thoughts spilling out onto the pages it met
december.and when they take medecember.7 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
to the morgue,
will you see the difference
between my skin and the sheet?
and when they close my eyes
please be standing over me,
so that your face
will be the last thing they see.
and when those tears fall
down from your face
pour them on my lips,
so i can take you with me.
and when they look away
caress my bloodless face,
give me one last gush of
and when they bring the casket
gently tuck me away to sleep,
read me one last story
from that book atop the shelf.
and when they place me in the ground,
beneath six feet of dirt,
leave your footprints in the snow
and please don't let them melt.
and when I fall to hell
i'll be waiting at the gates,
but darling please take your time
there is no need to rush.
I filled the sea with dirtselfish & humbleI filled the sea with dirt1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
waiting for sin
as the best years of my life
crawl into the sea
[the wings left no room for ribs]
don't tell me you're up to it again.1.don't tell me you're up to it again.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
i've tried to eat the dust on my walls
my guts are already coated in the stuff, anyway;
for i'll take papers i've used for nothing
and burn them in the backyard
the fire smells like cigarettes,
man, i could use one of those;
but i can't swim in the lava i’ve fabricated like little stars burning
you know, i’ve never liked the heat.
my lips are better off fried
but I know I can’t stop your secret
from being gutted
what have you done this time?
don't tell me you’re up to it again.
boney fingers attached to hands shake with the twinge of
remorse i'd been warned about.
but i blame it on the caffeine
in that lousy expensive latte.
smokey whispers course through my veins
what have you done this time?”
crying is a chore.
because instead of the dust collecting in your stomach,
it collects upon your face
and it's quite hard to see through.
my vision is cobwebs
and darkness now
smoke from the fire res
desolatei want to write something bitter,desolate5 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
sour and acidic, like the first
shudder after a taste of lemon;
i want to write of how you
kill me with every breath,
every kiss, every sporadic, treasured touch
i want to spill words onto the page
like ink out of a broken bottle,
i want to stab and wound with the fragments;
sear, scratch, pierce
but when i bring you to my mind,
i cannot conjure anger,
nor passion; only a cloud of sadness
i am unable to shake.
there are no nightmares lingering here;
only long forgotten dreams.
i.i heard you howlingi.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
at two a.m. in the bathroom,
the rain drowning out
i heard you tearing at
the hollow of your throat.
you'd think that no one else would be
as sly as you to know
you aren't really what you say,
you're not okay--
you're not okay.
you named her anne after
the mother that never raised you.
called her your baby,
but never once did she
press her tongue against her teeth.
i saw the song lyrics
scrawled on the back of your hand
when you were sound asleep,
fist in stomach.
she's got bruises on her neck
that match up with yours.
she's got fingers like your daddy;
about that one i'm sure.
i read the words that hung
on the top of your lips.
i read the in betweens
the unders and overs
and the everything i could.
you took her in the
bathroom with you last night,
and i don't remember if
it was howling that i heard,
or illicit-sounding screaming.
she's not what you want her to be.
and i read in the papers
yesterday or the day before
about a girl
Unexpected.Support one another, we're all connected.Unexpected.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Spread the love, let's get infected.
Help anyone–– it's you; reflected.
Don't ever settle, you'll get disconnected.
Don't ever meddle, it's attention misdirected.
We're all characters in one book, interconnected.
Humanities mistakes, are left uncorrected.
Reality has died, it must be resurrected.
Devils roaming free, undetected.
Evil fighting good, completely unaffected.
Intelligence ignored, and ignorance respected.
Lies becoming anthems, criminals elected.
Innocents locked up, just because they're selected.
Brainwashing us daily, until we're deflected.
Observing us, controlling us, leaving us somewhat defected.
Feeding and stroking our egos, keeping them erected.
Take it down with love, let's keep our souls protected.
Build immunity to the money game, keep it rejected.
Honesty and self worth, that should be selected.
Unity and peace, that should be projected.
Take my hand, let's do the unexpected.
Free our hearts, our minds, ourse
ocean lungsyou weigh something like gravityocean lungs2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in my tired expanse. you are
(my once splendid mountain)
my love is the ocean
that has worn you down.
with my monstrous tongue,
i pulled you in.
as you fall,
sweeping peacefully into the depths
and filling each crevice,
i am learning to inhale shores.
some would say i'm suffocating
and bring me buckets of air (only to have it
escape my slippery grip).
no, the tides need something heavy
to make of her
blue skies researchwhen it came to you iblue skies research1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
could never quite understand
how tangibility worked,
and you always had me
just as you wanted me:
blue skies research
in the sense that
you never set out
with the intentions of
discovering how to rip
a girl to pieces.
i've gone two full days
without thinking of you
wholly, consciously -
two full days and to you
that might not seem much
but i'm breaking my back
trying to get people to
understand that god
damn, this is an
this is an achievement.
Speak to Me Speak to me in roars and booms like thunder,Speak to Me1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
To inspire wild visions in wonder.
Or whisper like the softest breeze in spring
Of a scholar who overthrew the king.
Debate in Fauvist colours, shamelessly bright
And dare to make sunshine in the dead of night.
Shout and scream, hoarse as the Bedlam inmate
On the dagger-sharp edges of cruel fate.
Lie to me in dull dreams like a trickster god,
Tell tales where I can spark like a lightning rod.
Murmur in tones from falsetto to baritone
And make the planets rumble with a song of their own.
Sing to me more skillfully than an opera star,
Like an angel but holier by far.
Laugh like Balder before the arrow struck;
Confident, easy and just out of luck.
But don't stay silent.
bellwether tearstainssaturnine cooperation;bellwether tearstains1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
interwoven like counterfeit -
ignition of soldiers’ corpses,
donning skirmish-burns and
crucifying olive-berry hangovers;
violent caprices in their
trust for gravity,
rupturing in gore-starved incisors,
skidding on lung tissue,
living in the avid moment,
crushing infant limbs -
integrity that bleeds smoky
on porcelain-wound welts
and eras that cherished scarcity;
and in love with razed partisans -
feast their empathy feeble,
and crash to their knees to die;
doves on limbs of torches shadow
these orphaned starwatchers,
beneath these rasping twilights –
tick-tocks in trivial hunger trials
refine the hostility-bitten snowstorm
as if the gunpowder was only swallowed
vandalismI.vandalism1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
it was only under the weight of the stars
that vulnerability personified
and he floated into my arms like an honest promise.
we built castles with our mouths,
safe havens with our teeth.
after all this time, i still can't tell
whether he decorated my life
or vandalized it.
and i wonder if i will ever see him again:
painted and proud with those lips like royalty.
I Wasn't Supposed To Be Worth It.Was it worth it?I Wasn't Supposed To Be Worth It.10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Trading the taste of cinnamon on your lips
To smell like cigarettes and a painful hangover.
Was life so cruel to your perfectly skewed smile,
That you had to swallow a bottle of brandy
Every night at 9 pm
To hear yourself laugh again?
How could I have not noticed
The tremor in your right hand
Every time you held a pen?
Was I so blind for the love you had for me to see
That my love was destroying you?
'I am yours.' You whispered when you still had Petrichor surrounding you.
I inhaled your scent like oxygen,
All the while I suffocated you like sulfur.
You gave me your heart on a plate,
And I was the last pill that took your life away from you too.
Mother always told me I broke the things I had
Because that is how I was;
Selfish and undeserving.
I didn't deserve you.
You weren't supposed to be mine.
Carve me out of clayI carved you out of poetryCarve me out of clay5 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
like we once carved the innards out of pumpkins,
with each stroke of the pen
I open up your oval empty eyes,
stitch you a ragged crooked smile.
(We drew the outline
of something beautiful,
but somehow it slipped into something
Your temper flashes
in the candle flames, sadness lingering
in the sharp lines of your nose,
all the things you shouldn't have said
are recorded in the curve of your brows;
nothing is hidden and nothing is sacred,
you stare back at me, an amber glow exposing
every defect you'd spent a lifetime
trying to erase)
And you etched me into canvas
like we once painted my bedroom walls
to cover the flickering memories,
the staining fingerprints of someone who
no longer exists;
with each sweep of the brush
a flaw is erased -
an edge is smoothed.
(We sketched each other out,
inked every tragic flaw,
but you kissed away every bruise
with pastel lips, charcoal fingers
lingering over frown lines and the
cracks between bricks, trying to
policy of the empire (modern distances in metric)we never met the tastepolicy of the empire (modern distances in metric)1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
of each other's lips
head on; but we had ideas
and a passion for
that would have made our parents
and it's a fourteen hour drive
to the sunset state, and we both know
it has always been fourteen hours,
but fourteen, sixteen, eighteen
wasted minutes, wasted years,
while the saffron city lights
of a million stranded souls
watch the walls we tore down