my body's slave is my mind.it's barely summer
but i've forgotten how to breathe;
i fall in love with strangers
before they even speak.
it's like i'm
within the pulsating crowd
like a fly trapped in a spider's web;
questions are spun
inferiority screams in my ear
& consumes all thoughts
until i can't hear
all the questions that are caught
between threads of my insecurities,
the fabric of my being -
tightening its grip
with everyone seeing
it's barely summer
but i can feel
each pump of my left ventricle
is an exertion against will,
& leaves me cripple
& frozen, still -
but feeling like i could run
before you could catch me.
i watch the moon
trade places with the sun,
racing against time,
but my day
has still not yet
life lessons.laugh a little,life lessons.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
love a lot.
you'll get your heart broken
so maybe not,
but who am i
to call the shots?
sadness will consume you
if you allow it to.
happiness is a few steps away,
but it's up to you to find its path
& don't forget,
nothing will last.
take what you get
& work for what you want.
know that something will set
but waiting will get you nowhere.
be kind to those you love
so they'll know that you're there.
play the hand you're dealt
& gamble what you want.
learn to deal
because all of it is real.
learn your lessons
before you play them out.
know them thoroughly
before you get out.
autumn's garden.it was autumn's beginningautumn's garden.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
when he scattered a combination of kisses
on my collarbones & chest
(the rusted gate to the crevice of my crux)
in a vain attempt to unlock the possibility of a love so parched,
like the terrain of his treachery,
that the sweat determined to fall down our backs
would be enough to quench his thirst -
as if each kiss would be enough to transform my entire core
into a garden of his own
to play in.
with each kiss
he planted flowers in my heart,
with roots down to the core of my being,
knowing of the dark clouds
pouring down the rain from my brain,
nourishing the fruits of his labour
in a cool whirl -
a breeze enough to ruffle even the smallest of feathers,
swirl the dead-most leaves,
& arouse the most dormant
even if each kiss was enough to transform the crumbling of gates
(like an autumn leaf
slow dancing its way to the ground
in a fear of being crushed
by the foot steps left on my heart),
the falling of summer's lust,
& the trembling of hands against t
last love (wanderlust was your home).kites flew in his mindlast love (wanderlust was your home).2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
& kept his head in the clouds,
forcing me to send messages to the sky
in hope he doesn't take flight
with my world on his shoulders.
he was a traveler
intent on conquering every mountain
he could lay his hands on,
& leaving every atlas
to burn beneath his fingers;
like pain searing on a map of hurt
on his lover's skin -
directionless but in motion.
cigarettes were his staple diet
with beer to wash out
the bitter taste of a quick fix.
his smoke & ashes injected adrenaline
into my wasted body
& set my vision straight
when i was getting drunk off of him
on a monday, or tuesday
(or any day mid-week).
intoxication was a breath of fresh air
on nights when he wasn't -
the nights that i had promised myself
i wouldn't cave in to my
spirits gave me spirit
& silenced my thoughts
to allow my body to speak for me
in a language i knew
he would understand.
he kept me close by his side
as he slept through the nights
that the weather shared our bodies' passion,
i vanish.a few excessive kilogramsi vanish.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
adorn my body,
stubborn in their departure:
like an uninvited guest
too dense to perceive
the subtle hints i leave
on my skin;
not feeling as blessed as i
could have been
if i were
if i am too much
then why do i feel like
i am not enough
for the starved society
that eats away at my insides
& feeds me
empty, palatable lies,
(a fabricated portrayal of reality's demise)
leaving me wishing
that each bittersweet tear i cry
is enough to rid my body,
my healthy home,
of excess salt
all through my eyes;
not realising that the number
beneath my feet
does little to measure
each person who feeds
off of my kindness, my sincerity,
that each time i bleed
in a well fed wish
i'm just another one of society's prey
to what they weigh.
december.and when they take medecember.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
to the morgue,
will you see the difference
between my skin and the sheet?
and when they close my eyes
please be standing over me,
so that your face
will be the last thing they see.
and when those tears fall
down from your face
pour them on my lips,
so i can take you with me.
and when they look away
caress my bloodless face,
give me one last gush of
and when they bring the casket
gently tuck me away to sleep,
read me one last story
from that book atop the shelf.
and when they place me in the ground,
beneath six feet of dirt,
leave your footprints in the snow
and please don't let them melt.
and when I fall to hell
i'll be waiting at the gates,
but darling please take your time
there is no need to rush.
Abidethi will not write youAbideth2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
into a seraph,
nor mend your
nor nurse your
raw pock-pitted tongue
do not wear your
on your wrists
have never been
one of the damned
Vertebraewe dressed ourVertebrae2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
& bone crowns
spitting static through
our buzzing t.v. teeth
you're a silent migraine:
[& i want to be something
too pristine to
i.i heard you howlingi.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
at two a.m. in the bathroom,
the rain drowning out
i heard you tearing at
the hollow of your throat.
you'd think that no one else would be
as sly as you to know
you aren't really what you say,
you're not okay--
you're not okay.
you named her anne after
the mother that never raised you.
called her your baby,
but never once did she
press her tongue against her teeth.
i saw the song lyrics
scrawled on the back of your hand
when you were sound asleep,
fist in stomach.
she's got bruises on her neck
that match up with yours.
she's got fingers like your daddy;
about that one i'm sure.
i read the words that hung
on the top of your lips.
i read the in betweens
the unders and overs
and the everything i could.
you took her in the
bathroom with you last night,
and i don't remember if
it was howling that i heard,
or illicit-sounding screaming.
she's not what you want her to be.
and i read in the papers
yesterday or the day before
about a girl
nakedness and heavy lungsand now, I’m defined by thenakedness and heavy lungs2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
confines of my body, the faults
I carry like misdemeanors against
the ones who translate me in
lines and curves and scars that read
look, but don’t touch. now, I’m
busy catching up in revolutions
around the sun and laps within
the indignity of my own mind;
swallowing travesties and memories alike—
the sun in your voice, brightening
me inside as I wake up and breathe
like an eclipsing star, my bones clanking
together like wind-chimes, my legs
giving out like ghost people
who’ve given up. this is beautiful, this
stripping of layers upon layers
of reality and pretending
I’m not ashamed to stand naked and
quivering before those who judge me
in impersonal numbers and figures
as though I were irrelevant, that I’m not
holding my breath in hopes I will
float away like a balloon, beyond
human comprehension, light and fading
like the handwritten notes and promises
scrawled across every inch of me,
just so I could be forgotten
strong, held the seashorelet yourstrong, held the seashore1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and then collect
every grain of sand
demigodsi set mydemigods2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
red skull ablaze,
detached from my
like a king
of blue smoke &
desolatei want to write something bitter,desolate1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
sour and acidic, like the first
shudder after a taste of lemon;
i want to write of how you
kill me with every breath,
every kiss, every sporadic, treasured touch
i want to spill words onto the page
like ink out of a broken bottle,
i want to stab and wound with the fragments;
sear, scratch, pierce
but when i bring you to my mind,
i cannot conjure anger,
nor passion; only a cloud of sadness
i am unable to shake.
there are no nightmares lingering here;
only long forgotten dreams.
october poems and cigarette endsi. where are the metaphorical cigarettes when you need them, augustus?october poems and cigarette ends2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
ii. the poetry fell through the cracked riverbanks of my mind and slid off to elsewhere
iii. so still, i continued to breathe the lovely mindfulness, the unconventional endlessness of consciousness nothing’s.
let’s call them dreamers.
iv. the poetry written on my bones fading with all the sleep i drank (till the drunk of November mornings), the dreams melting off like the stars which ate away at my skin and left me bleeding—dying.
v. so, this is what writer’s block feels like
the eradication of sweeter thoughts and dreams
vi. (i think i finally understood why van houten drank so much.)
vii. “but i think the words you write are beautiful,” he says. “you’re beautiful.”
“i’m not beau—”
viii. still i write with an unsettled heart and
as blue as the eyes which fell upon them
the thoughts spilling out onto the pages it met
braille.her paperthin skinbraille.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
bear the scars from within
& his hands seek
all that his eyes fail to satisfy.
he'll try to read her like braille -
he is too blind
to see otherwise.
actions may speak louder than words
but his touch has little worth
to someone who knows it can't
if his thirst is quenched
by mere touch,
he doesn't care too much
& if he is too poor of himself
then is she too cheap?
why does he explore each scar
like it's a prize
for him to keep?
an eye for an eye
would leave the whole world blind
but what do you do
if you want to leave the whole world
heretic.admired & afar,heretic.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
his beauty became a childlike caricature
of his defiantly devious demeanour.
euphoric ecstasy found its feathers, flying him
'til gravity grounded gushes of his history on my helpless hips,
his insanity insistent on injecting juvenile judgments into my kingdom,
killing love & leaving lust,
as malleable memories manoeuvre my mind
near never-ending nausea.
oh, other-worldly oppression,
please place me at peace!
a qualm quickens the riot rising in the rosebud refuge of my ribcage,
sand spreading through the time-glass
underneath the vile vagrant with wicked wings,
wanting water in xerarch.
yes, i yowl, yes
stupid youth.my lungs whispered and asked the smokestupid youth.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
to the sound of your slurred voice
singing off key
to whatever song came on the radio.
i'm sure the stars looked down on us
as we laughed and ran about that dying meadow
in the ides of october.
there's something bordering on nostalgia
i feel for that scuffed leather jacket
you always wear.
but maybe it's just dreaming.
and when we finally started back home
we could have died
and for once in our lives
it would have been with smiles on our faces.
i wonder what the coroner would have
.and this beating in my chest.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
might just be the banging of someone
trying to break free.
you should be home by nowlast tuesday the house took my hand & said,you should be home by now1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
it's more of a hurricane than a fire
since he broke in & burned
but sometimes I see her with a lighter
& she finishes what he didn't do
(I think she's afraid
of settling in,
but last tuesday I realized that she kept the lights on
to frighten away the bridges & the people
so no one will come inside
& smash the teacups, steal the pipes
because since he burnt her beds out
no one lives there anymore
gossamer loveyou will love a womangossamer love1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
who uses the word
too often. she will
diagnose dead artists' descents
into madness and laugh
too loudly at jokes
no one understands.
she will braid crowns of
flowers, she will write poems
in constellations, she will
try to walk like a dancer so
no one can hear her
leave. she will be
an ice sculpture, and when
she cries, you'll convince yourself
she's melting, she loves you, you've
changed her, you've
changed; she will wear you
like a comma, like
an incomplete thought,
in her story, and
she will leave you wondering
vandalismI.vandalism2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it was only under the weight of the stars
that vulnerability personified
and he floated into my arms like an honest promise.
we built castles with our mouths,
safe havens with our teeth.
after all this time, i still can't tell
whether he decorated my life
or vandalized it.
and i wonder if i will ever see him again:
painted and proud with those lips like royalty.
Speak to Me Speak to me in roars and booms like thunder,Speak to Me2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
To inspire wild visions in wonder.
Or whisper like the softest breeze in spring
Of a scholar who overthrew the king.
Debate in Fauvist colours, shamelessly bright
And dare to make sunshine in the dead of night.
Shout and scream, hoarse as the Bedlam inmate
On the dagger-sharp edges of cruel fate.
Lie to me in dull dreams like a trickster god,
Tell tales where I can spark like a lightning rod.
Murmur in tones from falsetto to baritone
And make the planets rumble with a song of their own.
Sing to me more skillfully than an opera star,
Like an angel but holier by far.
Laugh like Balder before the arrow struck;
Confident, easy and just out of luck.
But don't stay silent.
we came as rescue, i think.flaking churches fall like snowwe came as rescue, i think.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
around your undetonated bombs
coats the inside of your mouth--
are just melting
inside your periosteum,
i hope you know
that you're cursed.
(but we are all, aren't we?)
inside skyscraper limbs and
i hope you taste of me
(of the army invasion, sorrow, dirt)
ocean lungsyou weigh something like gravityocean lungs2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in my tired expanse. you are
(my once splendid mountain)
my love is the ocean
that has worn you down.
with my monstrous tongue,
i pulled you in.
as you fall,
sweeping peacefully into the depths
and filling each crevice,
i am learning to inhale shores.
some would say i'm suffocating
and bring me buckets of air (only to have it
escape my slippery grip).
no, the tides need something heavy
to make of her
Unexpected.Support one another, we're all connected.Unexpected.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Spread the love, let's get infected.
Help anyone–– it's you; reflected.
Don't ever settle, you'll get disconnected.
Don't ever meddle, it's attention misdirected.
We're all characters in one book, interconnected.
Humanities mistakes, are left uncorrected.
Reality has died, it must be resurrected.
Devils roaming free, undetected.
Evil fighting good, completely unaffected.
Intelligence ignored, and ignorance respected.
Lies becoming anthems, criminals elected.
Innocents locked up, just because they're selected.
Brainwashing us daily, until we're deflected.
Observing us, controlling us, leaving us somewhat defected.
Feeding and stroking our egos, keeping them erected.
Take it down with love, let's keep our souls protected.
Build immunity to the money game, keep it rejected.
Honesty and self worth, that should be selected.
Unity and peace, that should be projected.
Take my hand, let's do the unexpected.
Free our hearts, our minds, ourse