20 Rules of Thorin and Company 20 Rules of Thorin and Company20 Rules of Thorin and Company2 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Despite having a name Bilbo Baggins shall always be referred to as ‘the Hobbit’ or ‘Burglar’.
2. Thorin’s speeches are majestic and must be adhered to at any point in time.
3. Balin must always be the one to tell stories of the past.
4. When the Hobbit states that you have parasites it is wise to always play along.
5. Kili and Fili are never to be separated. Ever.
6. Trolls cannot be reasoned with. They are half-wits.
7. Kili and Fili are not to watch the ponies. Ever.
8. Elves are not appropriate company. The only time an elf may appear in dwarvish speak is in the context of an insult. For example, tree shagger is most appropriate.
9. Bofur is the ultimate good guy, no matter what people might say about dwarves.
10. Do not take Bofur’s hat. Under any circumstances. Ever.
11. Do not take Thorin's sword. Under any circumstances. Ever. Unless you like being cut in half.
12. Troll hoards stink. End of story. De
A Beginners Guide On How To Be Majestic- Or how to become the dwarf you´ve always wanted to be. -A Beginners Guide On How To Be Majestic2 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Be gruff.
2. Be proud of your size. Never wear high heels unless you need to peak over a wall out of strategic (or voyeuristic) reasons.
3. Eat. A lot. Never refuse an invitation to dinner.
4. Spill as much of your ale as possible while drinking.
5. Avoid silly songs.
6. Look into the distance, if convenient. If inconvenient look anyways.
7. Unless it would kill you. Obviously.
8. Wear dead animals´ skins and furs. Eat the rest. A dwarf does not join PETA. Nor does he become vegetarian. Or even vegan (for he´s not an elf).
9. Avoid elves. They´re sparkly and hug trees. And ride moose.
10. Imitate your pony´s latest hairstyle.
11. If you have the chance to let your hair flow in the wind, do so.
12. Never cut your beard unless you´re in mourning.
13. When you´re in battle, keep your weapons in the best possible shape.
14. Beards extensions are a big no-go. A proudly worn growing beard is more honourable than a cowardly di
An Unexpected Visit - Part 3The love of a motherAn Unexpected Visit - Part 31 year ago in Drama More Like This
Tauriel had slept for a while. An uneasy sleep with dark thoughts and worries. She was either too hot or too cold, and the contractions would rise and fall like a fiery tide, burning her body with sharp pain. She didn’t know how long these pains would last before the child would be ready to come, yet she hoped it would be quick.
The old dwarf was sitting in the corner by the hearth, snoring, waking every hour by Tauriel’s exclaims, and then informing her it was still a while before the child was ready.
Tauriel woke suddenly again. The fire was burning her lower abdomen and tears of sweat were rolling down her forehead and chest. Her fingers dug into the sheets beneath her, and she cried from a pain she could do nothing about.
Tauriel hurled the animal skins away, for she felt like she was being suffocated.
«Are you sure that is wise, my dear? The room is quite cold still,» a soft voice spoke suddenly.
Tauriel was startled and met the ey
Warrior Boot Camp - Dwalin X ReaderWarrior Boot Camp - Dwalin X Reader1 year ago in Humor More Like This
"Rest, all of you. Tomorrow will be an intense day for everyone. If we expect to succeed in our quest, we have to be in shape" said Thorin Oakenshield, whose word is law and no one dares question his authority. He nodded to Dwalin, who returned the nod, as he chose his corner to sleep, always apart from the rest. You began to whisper to Bilbo, who was just as clueless as yourself,
"What exactly does he mean by being in shape?" you asked.
"I have no idea" replied Bilbo equally whispering. "but if all this long walk is not enough of an exercise, then I do not know what it is."
"Indeed, I feel my legs are swelling" you said to Bilbo.
"Lads, it is best if you save your energies by sleeping, instead of talking. Leave your worries aside." said Balin, who overheard the two of you whispering.
You blushed and then asked shyly, "I do not know what a dwarf training is like, should I worry?"
"Not really, you will be fine I promise. Now rest, lass." replied Balin to ease you down.
Hope comes softly-Dwalin X ReaderHope comes softly-Dwalin X Reader10 months ago in General Fiction More Like This
Note: This is a sequel to 'For Her', my other Dwalin X Reader. Be warned, this story may cause severe liquidation of the cardiac muscle (melting of the heart).
Dwalin wandered through the halls of Erebor, looking over the familiar walls and images that he had not seen in many years. He remembered it all just the way it was before the dragon attacked, so full of life and warmth; so full of hope.
This was his home. A home that he wasn't sure he would ever see again. But now, here he was, walking through its halls, deep in thought and lost in memory. You'd think that he would feel happy and joyful at finally having returned. But, he didn't. Being back felt strange and somewhat gloomy. Because he knew what the cost was. He knew exactly what it took and what was lost to get them all there.
It had been one month since the Battle of Five Armie
SO FLUFFY!!!-Hobbit Characters X Reader"Oh my goodness! Look at them, they are so cute!" You squealed happily.SO FLUFFY!!!-Hobbit Characters X Reader10 months ago in Humor More Like This
"That they are, lass." Bofur agreed.
"And they're so fluffy, too." Ori said.
"They're so fluffy, I can't even stand it." Fili said.
"They're so fluffy, I'm gonna die!" Kili said. You all agreed with him on that.
"What are you all doing over here?" Thorin asked as he and the others approached you, Fili, Kili, Ori and Bofur who were sitting around in a small group.
"This is what we are doing, uncle." Fili replied. You all move aside to reveal a litter of about a dozen bunny rabbits with their mother, who, surprisingly, was willing to let you play with her babies.
"Aw! How adorable!" Bilbo said, sitting down next to you as you handed him a tiny, fluffy bunny with brown fur.
Some of the other members of the company sat down with you and joined in. Bombur laid himself down on his back to let Bofur put one of the bunnies on his big belly. Bifur was transfixed by a little black and white patchwork bunny and started
Dear Fili and KiliSo, Oakentoon #68 gave me this idea, that Thorin, instead of Gimli, travelled with the Fellowship in Lord of the Rings. Most likely this will end up with some silly fic... *be aware* But the this idea is: when Aragorn, Legolas and Thorin finally finds the hobbits after the Battle of Helms Deep, Thorin sits on the wall, drinking and eating, and suddenly something dawns on him, and he writes this letter to his nephews Fili and Kili, back in Erebor.Dear Fili and Kili2 years ago in Humor More Like This
Warning: complete silliness. I'm (not really) sorry if you're going to read this.
Disclaimer: All Tolkien characters are his! I only make them do silly things *facepalm* I make no profits or whatsoever, this is made for simple and free entertainment.
Age limit: none, really. For once!!
Dear Fili and Kili,
Everything is fine, I have killed 79 orcs, many of them uruk-hai – be glad you’ve never met them, they smell, if possible, worse than goblins and orcs. I’m travelling with Gandalf again, I’m sending the b
Denmark x Reader x Scotland ~Inside-Out~ 88Denmark x Reader x Scotland ~Inside-Out~ 81 year ago in Romance More Like This
The world was beautiful because it was cruel. The world was cruel because it was beautiful. No one made that clearer to you than Allistor Kirkland, both a semblance to beauty and cruelty.
“Rise and shine, little Princess.”
A flood of light drew back from the curtains down in the dusty part of the inn, and you had to squint in order to get adjusted. He had brought you to an inn as told the morning before. You hadn’t expected him, however, to bribe the innkeeper into keeping you down below the cellar area. If there had been any guards patrolling the area, the innkeeper would have turned a blind eye during their search. The details were fuzzy as you had been exhausted, but your sleeping schedule had eventually been altered as planned.
“Is it morning or dusk?” Your voice was muffled from your covers, and your eyes were sparkling with stars in your head as the golden-pink rays spun in the room.
“Dusk,” came the one-worded answer.
Dusk. The arrival
Recipe of Love: ThorxReader PART 1/3Recipe of Love: ThorxReader PART 1/32 years ago in Romance More Like This
You slowly moved on the comfy bed with your bare legs touching the silky fabrics that your skin would never get used to. Nothing of that sort existed naturally on Earth but you considered yourself to be the luckiest woman on the planet because your set was imported from Asgard. You barely opened your eyes to come across with a familiar scene, your eyes lingered on the wide window on your left side and they were slightly overwhelmed with the moonlight peeking into the room each time the curtains moved. You stretched your arms up with a wide smile taking over you and the cool air sneaking inside tickled against your arms that you just put over yourself. You could feel that your nightgown was almost completely pushed up, nothing was certainly covering your legs, and you felt the absence of warmth on your right side that you were very used to feeling with your big husband sleeping next to you half naked every night.
You groaned and turned toward your right side to see that he wasn’t
Annoying-Hobbit Characters X Reader"Ugh, I'm so bored." You complained.Annoying-Hobbit Characters X Reader10 months ago in Humor More Like This
"We know, (Y/N)." Dwalin said with a roll of the eyes. "That's the 10th time you've said it."
"But I am." You replied. "Really, we've been walking for two days and there's nothing to do."
"Well, find some way to entertain yourself." Dwalin said. "And go bother someone else while you're at it."
"Aw! But Dwalin, I want to walk with you." You said with a playful grin. "Besides, I know that you like me keeping you company."
"Actually, I find you incredibly annoying." He replied. "Leave me alone and go walk with Bofur; I'm sure he'd love to chat with you." You smiled at him and shook your head, indicating that you had no intentions of leaving his side. Dwalin rolled his eyes. "Alright! You can walk with me. But, no talking, understand."
You nodded, giving him a look of mock seriousness. The two of you walked side by side with Dwalin being his usual, frowny face self. You look back at Fili and Kili, who were walking with Bofur not too
His Eyes“Brother…” Tearful, begging brown eyes looked up at him, “Brother, please make the pain go away.”His Eyes2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
His brother’s broken bow and an empty quiver lay next to his feet. The mid-Autumn waning crescent moon’s light reflected off of the waters of the lake. A cool breeze gently blew.
He cradled his beloved younger brother in his arms as he cooed gently, “Hush… It will be all right. I am here with you. Nothing will happen. ”
The prince did his best to remain calm for the sake of his dying brother, for he knew that even now, the younger still looked to him for strength. He cannot allow a single tear to betray his resolve and instead he wore a kind smile upon his face.
With the palm of his hand, he did whatever he could to stop the bleeding. It was no use. The boy would die no matter what he did. Death was ever so eminent and unjust.
In his arms, he held not just his brother, but a dear friend, a confidant, a protég&
Daddy!PrussiaXMommy!Reader: WonderlandDaddy!PrussiaXMommy!Reader: WonderlandDaddy!PrussiaXMommy!Reader: Wonderland2 years ago in Romance More Like This
You yawned as you closed your book. With a sigh, you glared through your window, smiling as you did so. Soft, fluffy snowflakes were falling down from the sky, slowly covering your garden. With another yawn, you decided it’s time to get some hot chocolate, cursing the fact that you had to catch a fever today. Why didn’t it wait until tomorrow? Wrapping your blanket around you once again, you got up and stumbled over to the kitchen.
Your husband and son weren’t home; they went to see a movie. Actually, you had been planning to join them, but you felt like crap when you woke up this morning, so you had decided to stay home. Gilbert had tried to make you allow him to stay with you, but you had told him he had to go, since your son, named Bern, had been looking forward to go to the movie. You figured it’d be a great way for them to spend a father-son day.
Sadly, now that they were gone, you had to make your own hot choco
Five Times Thorin Forgot to Be Majestic...1. HiccupsFive Times Thorin Forgot to Be Majestic...2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Bilbo tugged his coat more tightly about his small frame and shivered, more from nerves than the chill.
It was a mere week into the journey – they had not even reached the furthermost borders of the Shire yet – and already he was beginning to feel a twinge of doubt about this quest.
The dwarves were pleasant enough. Fili and Kili’s relentless curiosity had subsided into boisterous, youthful over-familiarity. Ori had shyly made several attempts at conversation, as had Balin and Bombur. Bofur chatted freely to him as if he had known him forever, unthinkingly sharing his supplies of tobacco with the Hobbit as soon as Bilbo confessed he had forgotten his. Oin, Gloin, Dwalin and Nori more or less ignored him and Bifur contented himself by making happy mumbling noises and waving whenever he saw the hobbit.
The only one that made him uncomfortable was Thorin.
Bilbo cast an uneasy eye across the fire towards the leader of their company. The dwarf prince was sat idl
Reader x Prussia Chapter 10 ( Warning Lemon )Reader x Prussia Chapter 10 ( Warning Lemon )2 years ago in Romance More Like This
Read here >https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11186723/1/Prussia-x-Maid-slash
Prussia x Mother! Reader: Together AloneWarning: CursingPrussia x Mother! Reader: Together Alone1 year ago in General Fiction More Like This
(s/n)= son's name
It had been a long time since you had someone to depend on, yet you just had to suck it up because your son counted on you to be there for him. His father left a month before the baby was born, and claimed in a letter that you were smothering him with your pregnancy, but you didn’t go after him, you’d figured he was cheating anyway. Love was truly a cruel mistress. It took you a while to stand on your own two feet considering that you had no family left, but thankfully your friends Elizabeta, and Lili supported you a bit. Seven years later here you were with responsibility on your shoulders, and a cute, cherubic faced child beside you.
“(s/n), hurry up, your friend and his mom are here to take you to school!” you hollered down the hallway of your commodious apartment. A child with (h/c) hair, and green eyes raced down the hall towards the door and reached for the knob before being stopped by you, “No kiss?”
Behind Closed Doors (Bard X Reader one shot)Your footsteps echo lightly down the long wooden corridors as you step quietly towards the winding stairwell. Casting a quick glance towards his study, you strain your ears for any trace of movement from within. The only sound to greet your ears was the soft snoring from your father, the Master of Laketown, as he laid passed out cold in his armchair thanks to the sleeping draught you mixed in his evening tea.Behind Closed Doors (Bard X Reader one shot)1 year ago in Romance More Like This
Hastening your steps, you slip into the servant’s stairwell and exit the large house through the back, slipping your hooded cloak over your head as you scurry on to the main street in the rain. You navigate the streets with relative ease, the rain has driven most people indoors, but even in the crowded streets you could find your way blindfolded. You made this journey countless times, but that did not stop your from fearing every time that tonight would be the night you were caught. You lived in constant fear of Alfrid, and the way he was cons
Dear Zack, Love Cloud- Pairing : Zack x CloudDear Zack, Love Cloud3 years ago in Romance More Like This
-Notes: This fanfiction contains yaoi/shounen ai which means that it contains boy-boy love, between Zack and Cloud from Final Fantasy. If you do not agree with Yaoi/Shounen Ai then please click that wonderful thing I like to call and back button and leave the page.
-Usual Thing: I don't own any of the characters, nor the games of which they come from, just the plot of my fanfiction.
-Please comment this, otherwise I will just assume it sucks.
Zack groaned in his sleep as the tapping at his window kept on going, he had brushed it off as the tree outside been blown in the wind but there was no way a tree could tap on glass like that.
All Of Him | (Aomine x Reader)All Of Him | (Aomine x Reader)7 months ago in Romance More Like This
*A/N: I finally linked a song to this one! I think this fic goes slow so sorry about that...but i enjoyed writing it! Also refer to this picture to help you imagine what's going on ;v; Enjoy!
“Aomine…” You whisper, your soft voice still reverberating lightly in the quietude of the camp site. The basketball team, Touou, claimed one of the strongest titles between all highschools. Yet summer camp was an inevitable stop for them, and this two story villa housed the team gratefully. Somehow you were forced along without your consent, aiding Moimoi in her conquest to strengthen the teams spl
Hobbit:One Shot: Do Not Take Him From MeKelda was in Balin’s arms now, she was unable to stand on her own at this point. She was outside one of the tents, on the field where the battle of 5 Armies had taken place hours before. The battle was over, the dwarves had won, but at a terrible cost.Hobbit:One Shot: Do Not Take Him From Me2 years ago in Romance More Like This
Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, was dead. Fili and Kili had been killed also, defending their beloved uncle to their last breath. The death of the dwarf brothers had been unbearable enough for Kelda, but now, as if Fate was unwilling to leave her whole in any way, Bofur’s life was in danger.
Losing Kili…losing the dwarf that she had loved as a brother, had made Kelda unable to say much of anything. The most she could utter at this time were the dwarve’s names if she needed them. And Bilbo’s name, but he was already with her, holding her hand tightly and tenderly.
Several of the dwarves had been injured. Nori had broken his arm, from holding a shield up against a goblin berseker. Bombur had re
Morning Routine: ZackCloudDawn's pale light had only just begun to trickle in through the narrow slits between the blinds when a small form began to stir under the covers. Yawning sleepily and stretching briefly like a cat, a little boy then sat up quickly, as if that was all he had needed to do to be wide awake. And truthfully, it was.Morning Routine: ZackCloud5 years ago in Settings More Like This
Leaping out of bed, the child rushed excitedly towards his closet, pulling out a bundle of clothes that appeared to be a costume of sorts. Donning the pieces of apparel, he struggled to put them on as quietly as he could (though it was a tad difficult, seeing as he was a little impatient and toys littered the floor, causing him to stumble often). He tugged on petite, brown boots, stuffed his hands into matching gloves, clasped on plastic knee-guards, tightened his belt, and then dug around for his toy gun, buried somewhere beneath a pile of clothes.
Once he had his outfit complete, the boy trumped up to the mirror and stood at attention, chin up; his toy weapon was in one hand,
The Petals of Time (LokixReader) Ch. 28 In seemingly no time at all, you're standing in a darkened corridor before a large, ornately wrought iron door. The hallway feels old, filled with darker purpose than did the weapons vault.The Petals of Time (LokixReader) Ch. 281 year ago in Romance More Like This
"We must be quiet." Loki's voice is hushed. "There is a pathway to Midgard through these doors, but we'll need to get past the Valkyries." With careful slowness, he opens the door. Rays of golden light shoot from the handle to the hinges as soon as the seal is breached, and Loki darts inside, pulls you in after him, then painstakingly shuts the door. An oddly spiced smell reaches your nose. The faint glow of the door does nothing to alleviate the clammy atmosphere of the chamber you stand in. The ceiling is presumably high above; you cannot see it for the shadows. The walls are lined with large niches swathed in darkness, and the silence presses upon your ears. Every hundred feet or so, a weary torch mounted on the wall burns on, dimly illuminating the smooth stone
A Not So Secret Family MomentA shuffling noise from the bushes on the other side of the fire quickly brought Bilbo to consciousness. He made to grab his sword as he looked up but he was rooted to the spot by a rather odd sight. A sight that made him rub his eyes free of the image.A Not So Secret Family Moment2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Nope, still there.
Thorin was sitting on a fallen log with Fili sitting cross-legged facing away from him, which of course wasn't the odd thing. The odd thing was that Thorin was, of all things, braiding Fili's hair.
Now all dwarfs braid their hair, so that wasn't shocking at all for Bilbo. It was that Thorin, himself, was doing the braiding. Which caused Bilbo to rub his eyes yet again.
Again, still there.
Bilbo couldn't help but watch, swallowing hard, as Thorin slowly threaded his fingers through the dark gold locks, stopping every now and then to remove an errant twig or leaf.
His eyes were pulled from the entrancing dance those fingers were doing as they intricately plaited the golden locks when he heard
Thorin grumble at Fili, "Fil
RikuxReaderWe all know we have our heroes of Kingdom Hearts. Sora, who desperetly searches over all the worlds to find his two friends that he cares for dearly, and is the known hero. Many say Sora and Riku fought for the heart of our seventh princess, Kairi. Others say Riku was just competitive and Sora was the one with feelings for Kairi. Most will not know the truth while others can only hope. The only ones being Sora, Riku, Kairi, and a girl everyone seems to forget about. A girl who waited for her two friends, and one crush, to return to her on Destiny Islands.RikuxReader4 years ago in Romance More Like This
Over the years when the Islands were consumed and released of the darkness, this girl was blessed with a good heart that saved her from being wiped from existence. Soon, when all turned back to normal (Name) patiently waited, never forgetting her beloved friends are to return. Every day she would walk out and wait on the beaches staring out to sea. Whether it was by the water or on the Paopu tree, rain or shine she would be there, hol
Brothers in ArmsBrothers in ArmsBrothers in Arms2 years ago in Settings More Like This
Bilbo recalls the tale of the death of two brothers, Fili and Kili, as they fought with great vigor in The Battle of Five Armies to his little nephew, Frodo Baggins. "Don't go... please..." Fili called, holding Kili's dying frame close, silence enveloped them, and Fili thought that he had left Middle Earth without him. "Kili!"
"Uncle Bilbo!" I heard Frodo call, chuckling to myself as I remembered my own days as a young hobbit and trying to avoid sleep. Much like Frodo was doing now; I walked briskly into his room and pulled open the door.
Placing a stern look on my face, as this was the third time Frodo has called to me since I put him to bed an hour ago. Frodo was still a young hobbit of only 8 years, and extremely mischievous at that too. Probably from his Took side, mind you.
Frodo smiled a grin so wide I knew that it probably hurt, "Today is Tuesday, Uncle!"