I pray for WindI pray for wind
to press air into my depressed lungs,
for a gust
to blow my mind,
removing the black clouds,
for a gale
to push me forward,
out of this airless,
lifeless state of mine.
nothing but a dried leaf,
crumpled on the ground.
Please god, breathe
your breath of live
into me (again).
Let me dance
on the invisible wings
of your power.
ScaredGod, god, oh god, I am so scared.Scared2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
So so scared, to do what I yearn to do.
Scared, scared, oh so freaking scared,
to do what I need to do to live,
truly live – not just survive.
I am so shaking nervous
to let go of the tiny bird in my hand,
although I know holding on to it
won't do me nor it any good.
So, so, so afraid to fail
when hunting for the two in the bush,
ever evasive birds of peace of mind and freedom.
But I'll need both their wings
to finally fly.
Frozen Hive MindYou are the mass,Frozen Hive Mind2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I am the lone creature of difference.
You think the single thought
of the hive mind.
Because your strength is unity,
conformity is what you seek.
I seek the aberrant thoughts of innovation.
and an open mind.
I am what you are not:
my own self made individual.
RedecoratingMore persistent thanRedecorating2 years ago in Valentine Exchange More Like This
an irremovable black marker,
you engraved your words of love
into my practical stone heart.
You decorated that barren place inside of me
with flowers made of
your honest words,
your boyish smile,
your warm touch,
and the colour of your affection.
So gentle feelings began
to grow inside of me,
cracking open my stone heart,
forming a tiny gap,
just big enough for you to slip in.
EarthEarth,Earth1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I crawled to your surface again.
I had been tangled up in
passageways carved through
the soil of my mind.
I grew new roots
to find nutrient matter
buried deeply below
shallow hearts and shallow minds,
buried deeply within
distorted fragments of broken selfs.
I feel your support again.
You gave me back solid ground
below my searching, stumbling feet.
Embracing me with your weathered hands,
you give me what I lost and found:
A place, a whole planet, a home for my soul.
All Together DifferentI'll be your armAll Together Different2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
please be my leg.
We can not have too many eyes,
as every viewpoint is different.
My weakness is your strength
and I'll catch you where you fall.
all together different,
adapted just as much,
as required to make room
Because you are
what we have been missing.
We appreciate all your skills
and all our talents
are at your disposal.
Let us eternally rediscover
your new true self.
You are invited:
Be unique, be You.
Be curious, be Us.
Be part of the group
made of individuals.
WaterWaterWater2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
everything you thought you were.
What will remain
when everything that is
-just a temporary shell-
is washed away?
Can you stand
to be so shellless
your raw, naked self
tossed through the currents?
Or will you rather collect
forming a new shell
to dress your self in?
Burning HandsTheyBurning Hands2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
encourage me to keep my hands in the scorching fire
- just a little longer -
until I find a better, safer way to roast my food.
blisters on my hands
and pain in my mind
is not a reason to quit that job.
I should rather develop a proper resistance against fire,
How much longer
do you suggest I wait?
Would third-degree burns be sufficient?
Or do you want me to go right down to the fourth, bones turning to ash?
You know those can kill, don't you?
But you and they forgot:
the bones important here
are not those in my hands.
My backbone snaps back into place,
redrawing my hands.
There's more than enough food,
which I can digest
My mind, freed from pain, will find plenty.
And it will taste so much sweeter
without the bitter burned skin.
CradlingI lay my swan heartCradling2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in a nest of feather fluff;
sanguine, sweet and soft.
I lay my swan heart
in a frame not strong enough
to keep my love aloft.
UnavoidedI used to know a girl forUnavoided2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the hunger in her voice;
she spoke of something
anchoring herself to
and sinking down
I'll drink away my memory, soon,
or pray for an Alzheimer-inspired
I can't keep waking up
on the wrong side of life"
Safety Instructions“Warning, weak and fragile!”Safety Instructions1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
you labelled me,
because I broke.
“Replace when damaged!”
is your brand of trouble shooting.
You never read half the manual
before (ab)using the product,
otherwise you couldn't have missed this:
Important Safety Instructions
Note: Every human is breakable
without proper care and maintenance.
Caution: Too much pressure can cause mental injury.
Caution: Abrasive words might damage god's product.
Warning! Failure to talk things through can cause electric shock to the heart.
Warning! Persistent ignorance kills!
You didn't even read the signs written all over my face:
Caution, valuable, handle with care!
SecretsAll my thoughtsSecrets2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
are silently locked away
behind closed lips.
I am not apt to spill them
I rather hide them
deep down inside my ribcage-casket,
than to betray them to indifferent ears.
But if you are truly interested
know that the answer
is only a question away.
ptsd (otherwise known as you)i. you.ptsd (otherwise known as you)2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
ii. the world bears down,
into my path and raining
ash like platitudes.
(none are as heavy as
this solid mass growing
beneath my gums
and setting my mouth alight:
an ulcer birthed in history.)
i begged Eirene
to no avail.
i still have faith:
the impurities that bind themselves
to my throat, and carve sorrow
into bones that were never hollow
cannot outlive love.
iv. today not even the Gods
can reduce the stain of you
i will breathe again.
HaikuWriMo August 20131. Winter SunHaikuWriMo August 20132 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
red blood sunrise
reflects onto fallen
snow -- newly spilled.
2. In the Breeze
the clean cut grass
like your hair.
3. Thunder Storms
your skin smells
of rain; nostalgia
and tangled hair.
4. Beautiful Scars
create empty ravines
on my unblemished skin.
5. Rainbow Skies
your tears are
from the sky.
6. Spring Fins
little koi dart
through clear water like
hummingbirds in spring.
a rose bloom
sits perfectly still
in your iris.
spill onto leaves.
9. In Between the Pages
i took your heart
and bottled it up;
10. Desert Paintings
a canvas sunset
falls onto painted
11. Crying Skies
across purple skies;
plunging tear drops.
land on the cement
like melted snow.
13. Faulty Architecture
sand castles crumble
while the win
If Only She KnewIf only she knewIf Only She Knew2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That I sit alone at night
Drinking by myself
Thinking about her
Wishing she was mine
If only she knew
That I'll never be alright
Going through this hell
Till my eyes begin to blur
And I only see her in my mind
If only she knew
That the hardest part of my day
Is when I think about her lips
Sliding through his skin
As he moves in for the kiss
Think about his hand
starting to caress her cheeks
They both gasp for air
though no one speaks
And her eyes can't seem to look away from his
If only she knew
That that's the hardest part
Knowing that she's his
Knowing that her gorgeous lips
are only his to kiss
And that her beautiful eyes
Are looking right through me
Knowing that I'm nothing to her
And that I'll never be
If only she knew
That she leaves me Paralized
When she looks me with her eyes
It feels so cold
Yet I feel so alive
If only she would realize
That without her my heart cries
It's hard to beat, though it still tries
If only she knew
The pain of getting lost within her
Those WordsIt’s alright.Those Words2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I’m not going to judge your decision.
You’re not going to judge my decision.
You’re not going to judge
I appreciate that,
No, I lied.
I appreciate the effort.
I appreciate the effort you made
to tell me that you’ll still be here.
But those words,
those tiny, insignificant words,
It makes me cringe every time I hear
and I hear them far too often.
I hate those words with all of my being.
No matter how much I plead
that you don’t say them anymore
I know that you still think them.
I’ve spent bleary-eyed nights trying to tell you
that it’s not a choice,
because IT ISN’T.
I don’t know how to say it differently.
I never asked to be like this.
I never asked for everyone to look at me differently.
I never asked to be tormented by my feelings.
I never asked to be treated like I’m different,
just because of a part of me beyond my decision.
I never a
Depression feels like...Ever feel like your world is falling apart,Depression feels like...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That all you wanted was a fresh start?
That you would cry and plead,
But you end up doing is bleed.
All of the sudden I feel trapped,
because depression kidnapped.
There's no way out or no escape,
my mind will never go back into shape.
While I'm broken and all eyes stared,
I promised that nothing will be shared.
As I slowly die,
Let me say my final goodbye.
How to find lost sheepIn case I seem strangely absent:How to find lost sheep1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Please go after me and ask me how I am.
Chances are I am awfully lost.
Might be I am just busy
- lucky you, lucky you -
but please be prepared for an ugly truth.
I am likely to
ContactIt’s too brief to be a proper memoryContact2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but I remember it all the same –
me, standing, hands resting on a chair;
you, bustling about the room
just behind me,
a brief hand against the concave of my backside,
and you’re out the door.
slowly, and then all at onceand for once, he slips on his wedding ring, to cure the monotony. it slides over his knuckle, a perfect fit, and in the morning release of sunlight the silver gleams at him. it glares, calling him a liar: she is not a whorehouse and you are too broke to own her, you harlot, you. he buttons up, tucks in his shirt tail, and buckles his belt. the clinking of metal parts is the only sound in the room besides the dusting of her breathing beside him. and when he's gone, the only thing he leaves behind are the bruises on her collarbone.slowly, and then all at once2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you find him because you're lonely, (well, it's actually the opposite.) he finds you because his wardrobe is black and his shoes are scuffed and he asks you where your castle is. you're the only princess he sees 'round here. the rain soaks into his shirt and he curses it, grinning. and damn girl, you follow him, because you think you see some kinda warmth in his ice blue eyes.
it takes you days t
Things I'll tell you when you're older.The monstersThings I'll tell you when you're older.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
don't fit under beds
Frameworkshe tried to realignFramework2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
her spine with vinylbenzene
like she could be a plaster girl &
elegant & automated despite her
she fashioned butterfly wings
out of worn newspaper &
donned plastic tiaras,
bit her silvery split
fingernails & told you,
threadbare girls don't shatter, love,
(they just disentangle).
beliefshumming a tune that rattled her bones as though she were a bottle of pills, she counted all the times she'd been a burden in her life. she figured it equaled nothing less than her number of breaths. laying in bed and surrounded by pillows, she tried to quiet the sound; but her body betrayed her. "you can't hide behind a closed mouth," her guts moaned, and she huddled into herself to silence them.beliefs2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
when she walked, it was with a careful precision she'd developed from balancing on ledges in her dreams. night after night, she withstood the trembling of her aching frame. like a ship being tossed, her bones creaked under the strain of the storm inside her. she wondered how long she could keep it restrained.
the only calm she'd ever tasted was the center of the storm; and now she felt her own hurricane twisting the wilderness within. she found her beliefs, the redwoods of her being, uprooted with the abruptness of a fitful toddler tossing her head to the floor. it would hurt. it did hurt. but
UpsurgeI am no longer tired,Upsurge5 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Instead of gritting my teeth,
I will bite!
DepressionAnother useless morning dawns,Depression3 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Another tiresome creature yawns.
Lost I am in the depth of thought,
People can't see the battle I've fought.
My scars are hidden by a harden face,
No smile has been found, I have no grace.
I look upon the work I've done,
And find that it is helpful to all of none.
I hate the flesh I'm bound to,
The words I weave I do but rue.
Rueful and spiteful I wish to cry,
But no tears will help me on the inside.
Who will help me to live without pain?
Will anyone try to keep me sane?
Am I lost to the grave?