Alivefarthest from my mindAlive9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
is the thought of turning back
and drowning in a sea of thoughts,
struggling for air -
i do not want my mind possessed,
with whispers of ‘never, never’
rustling within me like a taffeta skirt
across the floor –
i want to be alive,
not simply breathing –
a survivor, not a victim.
Insecuritiesi could tell you a million talesInsecurities10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
of when i stared into the abyss,
and drowned in the thrashing waves
of my own torturous thoughts,
that the dark crevices of my mind
began dragging me under
a sea of endless insecurities
imprinting on my bones.
Interrupting the Fallbrittle carcassesInterrupting the Fall4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
of autumn trees,
naked and bare,
swaying, contorting, like my feeble frame -
bending and breaking, breaking and bending,
under the pressure of
the words i speak to myself:
simply cold, and harsh,
like an early winter,
interrupting the fall.
Onceyour beauty lies restless behind thoseOnce10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
hills, where you fought valiantly. and
the man you once were was brave and kind,
but now you are possessed by a passenger
of darkness, whispering words of your
the man you once were is forgotten, and
the man you are today, is only a ghost, a
shadow, of what you were before.
leap through eternityi will sink my teeth into a supernovaleap through eternity9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
to let the stardust and
slide down my parched throat and
wash over my intestines,
like a pebble
drowning in the sound--
Epitaph in Bathroom Mirror1)Epitaph in Bathroom Mirror9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
My tawny skin suffocates me
My lackluster lips ring
a looped rope around my neck
Gloom crawls in like creeping vines
strangling my words
Twisting at my wrists and ankles
Suspending them in a purplish hue
I lay contorted on
my cold bathroom floor
Seeking for solace in prescription
Only to poke into old wounds
that have not yet healed and
I have only begun to ferment
all my tears into wine
Plant seeds in my blue-green veins
For red blossoms to bloom
in my once-blood's place
history remembers.i.history remembers.7 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
history repeats itself.
i realize this the fourth time i find myself on a couch
with the head of a boy i don’t know
between my stiff, nonresponding legs.
i realize this on the third sip of alcohol. on the fourth.
the fifth. the eleventh. the first time i black out. the eighth.
history repeats itself
and i am napoleon marching across russia
and i only pretend the water is poisoned.
i only pretend the earth is burned to ground.
i pretend that destruction is inevitable
and that help is not an option.
we got close, him and i.
sometimes you get so close to a person
you can feel their lips stiffen
when you try to kiss them.
sometimes you get close to a person,
under them, between damp sheets.
they never stop believing
that you are beneath them.
“help me,” he says. i say okay.
he tells me to sleep with him later
so i say the wrong name in bed,
but so does he;
he means it,
i say it because it’s the only way i can
NymphTranslucent asNymph11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
a dragonfly wing—
her hair fans
in the water, and
the sun bleeds.
Cancer has a smell.Old classics,Cancer has a smell.2 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
the half cup of
peppermint ice cream
sitting in your freezer
for weeks, and cat litter.
He won’t eat anymore,
but there are
piles and piles
of dirty dishes
sitting in the sink.
before your eyes.
You can wrap
your whole self
around his tiny bones
You can hold him
like he used to hold you
all those years ago.
And you are angry.
You try to find
You hate doctors,
and you hate
You have to force yourself
to stop crying,
This is the one person
who’s always had faith
He’s read every poem
and hoarded every award
you ever won.
You ignore statistics,
unfound i am petra, i am the rose cityunfound9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
half as old as history can behold
bedouin music serenades the night
as candlelight burns the dimming
apparitions of our mortal plight
i am buena queen of the adriatic
where my po arms and piave legs
lead folk to a trance as i dance
honoring venus as she floods her
lovedrunk venice in vineyard fools
i am the khmer prasat angkor wat
The WayYou areThe Way8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
steel trap limbs,
with my fingers caught
between your bones,
with my soul --
glass bottle chest;
and I stir.
our shadows have conspired,
drawing nearer still,
twin ghosts of ink
waiting to dance
as a single silhouette
against the burning,
white stage-light moonrise.
to know the sensation
of your hair
against my neck,
of your eyes
ascending my spine,
of your hips
tangling with mine
until our skin burns red
and our lungs
in the shape
of each others names.
Desire knows nothing
of my need...
bend me at your will
as my shape may fit
within the curving crescent
of your sleeping body,
of your beating heart,
perfect, pink kiss.
a flightless angel
of weary wings,
but you know
that a heart
drumming with love
cannot be caged,
once introduced to its mate,
be locked down,
shackled or chained...
makes picks of fingers,
ForwordI have not become strongerForword1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
in the broken places.
Bones ache of age
and each cracking joint
is an audible reminder
of paths walked too long
and of steps
that should have been,
but were never taken.
Bent fingers jut
from palms of sandpaper,
calloused and crinkled,
they cannot grip
with that same eager desperation
of a child seeking comfort.
Black becomes gray
at the gates
of troubled temples and
once saliently sweet,
decay on the tongue
like the sound
of necessary words produced,
but never employed.
I have not become stronger in the broken places,
but scars and bruises,
sprains, cuts and concussions this day
are always better than
regrets and second guessing
half moons upon the palmi wanted to fall in love likehalf moons upon the palm3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
the way that one falls out of a tree;
hard, with a loud bang,
like they do in the movies.
i wanted to fall in love to where
everyone knew i had fallen.
i wanted them to
see it in my eyes.
i wanted to fall in love like
the broken girl finds the boy that
i wanted to be saved.
i wanted to fall in love; hard,
people watching like our
story was a drama on the television
but i fell in love quietly,
i fell in love unsuspecting, without
thinking that it might've
been you. i fell in love yearning;
i fell in love like a mother
falls in love with its child.
i did not fall in love the way i
heart tearing with each step.
why we pity angelsto him;why we pity angels5 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
you are afraid of phonecalls. you
are afraid of your own voice, and
opening your ribcage to let
your heart come live on your sleeve.
you are afraid of living without caffeine
or alcohol, whatever the day calls for;
you are afraid of being real
without laughing afterwards, becoming
everything you worked so hard to get
away from, acknowledging all
that you still are. know this:
I am afraid of loud noises.
I am afraid of honesty and drowning,
people I don’t know and words
I won’t say. I am afraid
of growing old and living alone and
you not accepting me. I am afraid
of myself. In that, we are the same.
I have the compulsion to grab you
and cup you to me like you are some
half-alive bird, like that sound
as the lazy sun paints you a portrait is
your hummingbird heart and not my own
shallow breaths. in the beginning,
you were my peace of mind. you traced
the contours of my being with a scalpel
and held me up, a shadow puppet,
as the darkest, blackest figures I gav
the theatreit is a Tuesday afternoonthe theatre9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
and I observe
the proscenium arch
of your spine.
I am separated from you
by several degrees,
a world and a half,
the ornate, sweeping divide
between watcher and watched
(and you've never cared
to break the fourth wall)
Simple ThingI’d like to be an off-beatSimple Thing8 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
syncopated little thing;
note and stem floating on the melody, just sitting in
appoggiatura, grace-note, special thing.
I’d like to be a sailor
swinging on the ocean wind
coarse old rope between my hands and salt-spray where my toes begin
nimble little sailor, clever thing.
I’d like to be a bed-sheet
gentle thing to warm your skin
thing that you hug tighter when the morning starts to filter in
falling through your creases, lucky thing.
phantoms from a sleepless mindmost nights,phantoms from a sleepless mind8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
it takes a war to close
my eyes, & even then i
still see monsters.
my mind is a cemetery
full of whispers
best not mentioned
(because you'd never
believe me if i told you).
i just want to be free.
to wake up with a
craving for sunshine &
supernovas nestled in my
rib cage, instead of thorns
beneath my skin & bones
between my teeth.
For every boy I ever kissedi.For every boy I ever kissed9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
you took my hand 'neath the magnolia
at a christmas dinner party I held.
your mouth was cold. so were my affections.
you were the first man to listen to me.
i let you listen to my heartbeat; but
when the day fell away, you bruised me deep.
you were my safe harbour, and i your storm
turning your misery to naught but air
but i squirmed away from your tongue, repulsed.
you were my cradle, when i couldn't sleep
you would hold me close and pray for something,
anything, to keep me safe. (it was you).
eleven months spent sleeping with my phone,
i still couldn't believe when you kissed me
even after midnight struck us again.
i don't miss those guitar-player fingers
you wrapped me 'round. i loved enough for you
until i realised you didn't love me.
we fell into our love by accident
and like one, there were some fatalities
when you said you loved me using her name.
opposites attract. i fell hard for you.
you kissed me in starlit castle ruins.
MerlotYou are defined by the women you take home.Merlot9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I still smell the flood of 212
that washed from her neck to your fingers
like a wave caused by the convergence
of what was mine with who I wasn't.
You looked better disheveled,
hair splattered across my stomach,
reading about the places you hid yourself
before you met me.
But then a woman with race-track curves
sat on your lap at lunch
"a real lover never lets you finish the bottle
broken dreams and invisible heartstringsEvery morning,broken dreams and invisible heartstrings9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
she wakes up to a
hollow chest & stormy,
red rimmed eyes.
It's so easy to be in love
with being in love;
swallowing fake truths
& sincere lies.
But her heart—
it forgot how to smile
two years ago,
because no one can tell
the difference between
imitations & reality.
please find me;
I'm lost between the cracks of
Desperate to breathe
yet wondering how it would feel
she's never belonged
in this universe.