Insecuritiesi could tell you a million talesInsecurities2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
of when i stared into the abyss,
and drowned in the thrashing waves
of my own torturous thoughts,
that the dark crevices of my mind
began dragging me under
a sea of endless insecurities
imprinting on my bones.
Alivefarthest from my mindAlive2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
is the thought of turning back
and drowning in a sea of thoughts,
struggling for air -
i do not want my mind possessed,
with whispers of ‘never, never’
rustling within me like a taffeta skirt
across the floor –
i want to be alive,
not simply breathing –
a survivor, not a victim.
leap through eternityi will sink my teeth into a supernovaleap through eternity2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to let the stardust and
slide down my parched throat and
wash over my intestines,
like a pebble
drowning in the sound--
history remembers.i.history remembers.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
history repeats itself.
i realize this the fourth time i find myself on a couch
with the head of a boy i don’t know
between my stiff, nonresponding legs.
i realize this on the third sip of alcohol. on the fourth.
the fifth. the eleventh. the first time i black out. the eighth.
history repeats itself
and i am napoleon marching across russia
and i only pretend the water is poisoned.
i only pretend the earth is burned to ground.
i pretend that destruction is inevitable
and that help is not an option.
we got close, him and i.
sometimes you get so close to a person
you can feel their lips stiffen
when you try to kiss them.
sometimes you get close to a person,
under them, between damp sheets.
they never stop believing
that you are beneath them.
“help me,” he says. i say okay.
he tells me to sleep with him later
so i say the wrong name in bed,
but so does he;
he means it,
i say it because it’s the only way i can
Onceyour beauty lies restless behind thoseOnce2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
hills, where you fought valiantly. and
the man you once were was brave and kind,
but now you are possessed by a passenger
of darkness, whispering words of your
the man you once were is forgotten, and
the man you are today, is only a ghost, a
shadow, of what you were before.
Interrupting the Fallbrittle carcassesInterrupting the Fall2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
of autumn trees,
naked and bare,
swaying, contorting, like my feeble frame -
bending and breaking, breaking and bending,
under the pressure of
the words i speak to myself:
simply cold, and harsh,
like an early winter,
interrupting the fall.
Epitaph in Bathroom Mirror1)Epitaph in Bathroom Mirror2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My tawny skin suffocates me
My lackluster lips ring
a looped rope around my neck
Gloom crawls in like creeping vines
strangling my words
Twisting at my wrists and ankles
Suspending them in a purplish hue
I lay contorted on
my cold bathroom floor
Seeking for solace in prescription
Only to poke into old wounds
that have not yet healed and
I have only begun to ferment
all my tears into wine
Plant seeds in my blue-green veins
For red blossoms to bloom
in my once-blood's place
NymphTranslucent asNymph2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a dragonfly wing—
her hair fans
in the water, and
the sun bleeds.
Cancer has a smell.Old classics,Cancer has a smell.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the half cup of
peppermint ice cream
sitting in your freezer
for weeks, and cat litter.
He won’t eat anymore,
but there are
piles and piles
of dirty dishes
sitting in the sink.
before your eyes.
You can wrap
your whole self
around his tiny bones
You can hold him
like he used to hold you
all those years ago.
And you are angry.
You try to find
You hate doctors,
and you hate
You have to force yourself
to stop crying,
This is the one person
who’s always had faith
He’s read every poem
and hoarded every award
you ever won.
You ignore statistics,
when life and death fell in lovelife is so beautiful thatwhen life and death fell in love2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
death fell in love.
she set a trap and he got caught,
caged in her flower crowns
and toxic sweater sleeves.
their romance was a mountain,
with beauty tucked inside the tree trunks.
and when one was about to fall,
the other was right there to catch them.
so tell me,
how could two things so different
believe in each other so much,
when we can’t even do it ourselves?
(c)loves and (c)loversi am no artist's muse,(c)loves and (c)lovers3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i am no ship's harbor
i am no hero's weaker heel,
i am no good earth's flower
i have never been your lover
nor have i ever kissed you,
- not even once
though i dream of you (c)love-scented,
with lips shaped like a lucky (c)lover's-
kissing you and to be kissed by you
i can never profess,
not even confess
even to myself
i stay standing, (b)raving the cold nights,
pretty much batty and bootless
the absence of you weighs metric tons on my
shivering nape, and
you dam(n) me with
you are my river's boulder,
and undefined border
unfound i am petra, i am the rose cityunfound2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
half as old as history can behold
bedouin music serenades the night
as candlelight burns the dimming
apparitions of our mortal plight
i am buena queen of the adriatic
where my po arms and piave legs
lead folk to a trance as i dance
honoring venus as she floods her
lovedrunk venice in vineyard fools
i am the khmer prasat angkor wat
I'm talking myself in circles,I screamed,I'm talking myself in circles,2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"There is nothing
wrong with me, not a damn
I wanted to believe
the big dipper on my arm
meant something more
than sun marks & kisses.
But, how can I trust words
that slip through my teeth
as easy as breathing
when this star
has only ever learned
how to f
the theatreit is a Tuesday afternoonthe theatre2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and I observe
the proscenium arch
of your spine.
I am separated from you
by several degrees,
a world and a half,
the ornate, sweeping divide
between watcher and watched
(and you've never cared
to break the fourth wall)
Soldiercigarette between his lips,Soldier2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
tar-induced lungs struggling to inflate –
struggling to make sense
of a war
where men are only equal
when they're dead.
For every boy I ever kissedi.For every boy I ever kissed2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you took my hand 'neath the magnolia
at a christmas dinner party I held.
your mouth was cold. so were my affections.
you were the first man to listen to me.
i let you listen to my heartbeat; but
when the day fell away, you bruised me deep.
you were my safe harbour, and i your storm
turning your misery to naught but air
but i squirmed away from your tongue, repulsed.
you were my cradle, when i couldn't sleep
you would hold me close and pray for something,
anything, to keep me safe. (it was you).
eleven months spent sleeping with my phone,
i still couldn't believe when you kissed me
even after midnight struck us again.
i don't miss those guitar-player fingers
you wrapped me 'round. i loved enough for you
until i realised you didn't love me.
we fell into our love by accident
and like one, there were some fatalities
when you said you loved me using her name.
opposites attract. i fell hard for you.
you kissed me in starlit castle ruins.
i am a magenta february.Winteri am a magenta february.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
is still clinging
to my skin,
sleeping within the tangles
of my night witch hair.
65 days to learn
& Icarus, with his
sun kissed fingers
my throat, giggles
knowingly in my ear.
I have misplaced my
of a heart
so many times,
I’m not even sure
it ever existed
they never lie-
Covered in frost
I am a magenta
the imprint of teeth
that bruised centuries
& bed sheets.
why we pity angelsto him;why we pity angels2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you are afraid of phonecalls. you
are afraid of your own voice, and
opening your ribcage to let
your heart come live on your sleeve.
you are afraid of living without caffeine
or alcohol, whatever the day calls for;
you are afraid of being real
without laughing afterwards, becoming
everything you worked so hard to get
away from, acknowledging all
that you still are. know this:
I am afraid of loud noises.
I am afraid of honesty and drowning,
people I don’t know and words
I won’t say. I am afraid
of growing old and living alone and
you not accepting me. I am afraid
of myself. In that, we are the same.
I have the compulsion to grab you
and cup you to me like you are some
half-alive bird, like that sound
as the lazy sun paints you a portrait is
your hummingbird heart and not my own
shallow breaths. in the beginning,
you were my peace of mind. you traced
the contours of my being with a scalpel
and held me up, a shadow puppet,
as the darkest, blackest figures I gav
Growing Upit seems that by now I’ve been diagnosedGrowing Up2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with a mild case of weightlessness, mindless
drifting past empty homes and the emptier people
that purchased them. I remember conversations
with you about existentialism
and the almost intricate fabric of my mind and
everything in between, and you-- the way you
paused before making a point as
the words defined themselves in your head:
I remember the day I told you I was God.
Creator of all things unimportant, trapped
in the body of a girl with nothing left to give, you
it must be a beautiful place
inside your head, with a world
that revolves around hope and expectations
the way it was supposed to; all
storybook-perfect like the
wars promise we’ll one day
[I’d like to think that every great leader
once cried themselves to sleep wondering
if they’d ever mean anything and
did things to stand out like smoking
or drinking or pretending to be someone
they’re not and every morning they’d tilt
untitledi keep plant seedsuntitled2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
under my bed in hopes
that one day my
limbs might grow into trees
and you can climb through
the branches in your sleep.
phantoms from a sleepless mindmost nights,phantoms from a sleepless mind2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it takes a war to close
my eyes, & even then i
still see monsters.
my mind is a cemetery
full of whispers
best not mentioned
(because you'd never
believe me if i told you).
i just want to be free.
to wake up with a
craving for sunshine &
supernovas nestled in my
rib cage, instead of thorns
beneath my skin & bones
between my teeth.
(0, 0)I see a snapshot of a hundred(0, 0)2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
soulful eyes stirring inside
your dilated form; there exists
a thousand tales unfinished and
itching at the very fibers of
I am a million shredded pieces
of time-tethered maps blown a
billion miles apart at the thought
of losing trace of the curing,
clement timbre of your voice
-and you always doubted me when
I said that out of my adoration
I could preach of promises and
cherishables worthy of a
Should I be given an ultimatum,
I would choose to fade like an
aurora only after captivating
you entirely, even if only for
Comprehend that I am a maven
at being a miserable mess
of trillions of molecules
pulled in shallow meaning and
piercing, naked breaths;
I cannot foresee a life without
the echo of your footsteps on our
flaky floorboards, for it is the
only supplication to celebrate
you're having made it through
and coming back home to me.
Confessionsthere’s a lot I never told youConfessions2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
1. I have a habit of lying, about
the simple things (like, yes I
forgot to remember and I swear by
soul mates and I’m in love
with your susurrus voice
and no, I’m really doing fine).
It was not an act of infidelity because
I believed it, too.
2. I’m infatuated with the concept
that I am more or less fictional, the
delusive beauty a million men will
dedicate novels to: I am fragile,
a dust angel sent to save the world
from commonalities and
3. Since I’m not allowed
to remember your name
I will commemorate you
in acts of escapism,
killing off the pieces
of the person you left behind.
4. I believe in a past life
I was a bird with a tendency
towards tall buildings; the sorry kind
of bird with heavy bones and crumpled wings
who never quite learned
to fly away.
5. I miss you. I used to think
you were a person, but now I know
you’re the happiness I will never
6. I'm sorry.
forest firesmy signature scrawled across allforest fires2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
of your sentences like a stain of apologies:
i'm sorry for anchoring you to my hip
like a one-sided promise, like a flood of insincerity.
i'm sorry for collecting you like a well of wishes,
for whispering you into every crack in these walls.
i do not have the depth to tether our limbs
with the tautness of our smiles, but i will
balance you on the edges of my knees until
you slip away.
i have been kneeling with my arms outstretched
but the divinity of your touch
never graced my expectant stance.
our bones built forest fires together,
but it was always my tears putting them out.