The Steps to CuttingMy arm, burning for a blade,
Because of the feelings that just won't fade,
I try to say, "Go away!"
Instead they just replay.
The blades are sitting in front of me,
My hand is shaking, fighting the need,
I pick up a blade, to complete the deed,
The blade flies across my anatomy.
My arms are bleeding, my heart is torn,
My legs are cut, my feelings worn,
The time right now, I feel reborn,
Until tomorrow, when I'll be scorned...
When Urges StrikeThe urges strikeWhen Urges Strike2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I clutch my wrist
It is becoming
So hard to resist
Make it stop
Please stop the pain
Or else I'm afraid
I may go insane
This agony I feel
It just won't stop
Will it ever end?
Or will it not?
I cannot relax
I cannot sleep
The urge is so strong
The darkness so deep
My body is tense
My muscles are tight
Please someone help me
Continue to fight
But this is my problem
I'll do it alone
I need to fight it
All on my own
I want to cry
I want to scream
I want this all
To be just a dream
"Don't think about it
Empty your mind
Block out the pain
Then you'll be fine"
These are my thoughts
When the urges strike
Distract myself with something
Then I'll be alright
I need to fade away
I need to go and hide
I need to find another world
To immerse myself inside
If I disappear from here
It will stop the pain
Until the next attack
Then it will start again.
CutA tear slid down her cheekCut6 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
As a drop slid down her arm
She kept herself in pain
To keep herself from harm
Each day she smiled bright
But no one seemed to care
Their ignorance made her feel as if
She wasnt even there
Each night she sat alone
In darkness and despair
As she thought about her life
And how it wasnt fair
She wore long sleeves to hide
The scars which marred her wrists
And the marks which scored her palms
As she tightly clenched her fists
When her friends asked how she was
She always said Im fine
None of them ever had a clue
Of the pain she was holding inside
At night she screamed in silence
As the crimson spilt over and out
Releasing the fears and frustrations
The world chose to do nothing about
Time marched on, yet ground to a halt
Her life seemed a melancholy haze
Twilight was fast approaching and
She was counting down the days
A tear slid down her cheek
As a drop slid down her chest
Shed destroyed herself to the very end
CutHow does it feel to have clean arms?Cut2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Not hiding your scars,
Not trapped behind bars
How does it feel to have clean legs?
Not feeling so aged,
Not locked in a cage
Tribute to The Cutter's LullabyTribute to The Cutter's Lullaby3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Tribute to A Cutter's Lullaby
Sadness, anger; emotions flood.
Why does the pain feel this good?
Blood that trickles - scarlet red.
Cut a little deeper, you're almost dead.
Lights turned down; tears roll.
Scars are forming,
On your soul.
Lay back now with no more dread.
Lay back now and rest your head.
Their words attack; bite and tear.
Can't be worse than the pain that's there.
No one knows No one cares,
About the one with the bleeding tears.
Deeper, harder; damn will burst.
Quicker, further - we're the worst.
Cutter, Emo, Mosher, Freak.
Dark death Angel. The one you seek
The Final MomentsYou start at a drawer.The Final Moments3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
you throw it open and push papers aside.
see a small box tucked away pushed to the back of the drawer.
Your face feels hot and your scared but numb.
pull the box out and lay it on the floor.
take a minute and stare horrifed at the box.
you open it and find small silver objects inside.
your hand trembles as you reach in and pull one out.
it flashes like a camera as you lift it.
you clench your fist tight but only feel scared.
look around the room
all you can do is cry while seeing each object.
take a look at yourself and your arms.
pick the object back up.
look out the window and hold the object.
in your hand you see the object clearly.
your holding a stained razor blade.
the only thing you feel is pain.
the only thought is not wanting to be here.
the blade is suddenly at your arm
it runs smoothly down your arm.
you lift the blade to see a darkening line
blood begins to run free from the cut
its not enough
your pain only grows.
you slowly run the razor a
Cutting DaysDo you remember those days?Cutting Days4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I sure do.
The days where I'd wear long sleeves or armbands no matter what the weather.
cover the scars with tons of make-up
Make up stories about the cuts on my arms or legs
"The cat did it"
"I got it shaving"
"I fell in the woods"
Stupid excuses like that.
I remember the days
when people would whisper when I walk in the room.
The days when people called me a freak
or a emo
or a attention whore
or a psycho
just because I cut myself.
I remember the days
That I'd hide my razors
clean the blood off the floor
wash my bedsheets late and night so no one saw.
I remember the days
when I couldn't sleep without cutting myself
I couldn't think without cutting myself.
The days when my life revolved around self inflicted injury
I'm sure we all remember those days
whether you did it for 6 months or six years
whether you cut 4 times a week or 4 times a day
whether you cut deep or shallow
we all remember these days.
I also remember the day when I decided it wasn't worth it
StorySleeves, long, pulled downStory2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Skin, criss crossed with pale white
against scars, puckered and jagged.
Can you tell the story?
Some abused, harassed, hurt,
Held against their will
Punished, pushed open, forced wide,
Broken, pained, raped
Some punish themselves harshly
Self hatred, loathing, misery
to slash with blades into soft skin
a release, true justice, free
Faliure, is what some fear
Teachers and parents alike punish her,
Yes she may dream of inspiration,
Pushed down, Demoted, Full of failure
They stand together with bandaged arms
Reasons make no difference
They stand scarred, never alone
But can you tell the story?
The cutterShe's a cutter isn't she.The cutter11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Yes, see the scars.
See the many braclets in a false attempt to cover them
See the long sleeve shirts, some with a little blood spots in them.
See the long pants, she's probley got scars on her thighs.
She's a cutter isn't she.
See her trace the scars of her wrists with her fingers, longing for her blade again
See the tears in her eyes.
See the blood running down her plams
She was a cutter wasn't she.
See the unhealed cuts on her wrists
See the blood stains covering her floor
See the blood on her scribbled note
RelapseHide the bladeRelapse1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Beneath the clothes,
Run to be alone
In the silence
Where only the blade remains.
Cut before you change your mind
Let the adrenaline run
You've done it
The relief is uncontrollable.
Blood, beading along the lines
They fall down your face
The pressure is gone,
But what remains is guilt
All that effort,
To find pleasure from this pain.
Who can help you?
Your boyfriend thinks you're selfish.
Your family thinks it's attention seeking.
Your sister, your dear sweet sister,
She cares too much it would kill her.
Who can help you now?
DarknessThe darkness follows us allDarkness2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But only some succumb to it.
Words cannot describe pain,
Paint can't take place of blood
Light crushed with lost souls
Unloved, unwanted, hurt
Pick the blade
Sharp, razor, lightweight
deep slash through pale
No understanding at all
Words completely gone
No one wants you
You're alone. Uncared for.
Why don't you give up?
We'll end it all,
Can we be saved?
CutsI cut myself todayCuts11 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
To see if it would heal
To see if the blood was red
To see if I am real
Right there, on my wrist
Sure, they healed
The memorys just mist
This one is different
This is deeper
Right to the soul
Right to my fear
My old friend
This time, were here
even pas the end
The CutIt is the first that i have made.The Cut10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i wont be able to do it again, i know it
was wrong, but for a moment i wanted to
The cut graced my arm and blood
seeped from within. i was sad once i
saw just what i had done.
It wasnt a knife, it wasnt a razorblade
that gave me the joy of feeling, it was
just a pair of scissors that i used to play
the complicated game.
The cut that no one can see, is more than
just upon my skin, its in my heart it seems,
and i cant close it up.
If ever i make a single cut again, it shall forever
be my last, because all my blood will bleed from
my body, i will die fast, and forever more never
will i feel a thing at last. if i ever make another
Lullaby Of The ForgottenI will sing to you, my dear.Lullaby Of The Forgotten3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Shut your eyes,
I promise you'll be okay.
Listen to my song,
My sweet, sweet song.
And everything will get better.
Sing along with me,
The song will save your life,
You will soon be healed again.
Illuminatedyour the light that carried me away from the darkened world that i live inIlluminated2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you flew in illuminating the dark hallway filled with broken photos, the floor filled with puddles of blood from scratched wrists,
gashes on the floor from alcohol dragged nights,
you walked closer un-aware of the dangers around you
somehow you got close enough to place your fingers across my skin
moving towards my neck and then my chin
soothing my cheek as i looked straight at you
i couldnt help but shyly smile for the first time
as you lifted me up from my state of anxiety filled depression
you wrapped your tender arms around my shivering torso and escaped the darkened world with your
of a hug..
Attention Audience!Attention Audience!Attention Audience!2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Listen up to me as I speak!
Come on, and gather around!
You must know that all I am
is forever an Attention Seeker!
This is the title that has been
adorned onto me by my parents.
I have problems, but I must be
manipulating them, and wasting
their hard earned money!
I must be lying through my teeth
when I feel suicidal or other wise!
I must be losing my credibility with
my parents altogether!
They don't trust me when I say that
I can be alone for a long time.
Oh, what they do is valid,
this I know is true!
Alone is never a safe time for me,
the night is never a place for me to be.
I'm drowning in the darkness within myself,
and they want a logical reason for
the way that I am.
They want to find some sort of cure,
so I no longer wish to kill myself anymore,
and they call it attention seeking!
They say all the self harm is attention seeking!
FORGIVE ME IF I'M CRYING OUT FOR HELP!
I've suffered long enough like this.
It's time for me to take control
over my inner
I WishI wish I filled the sink with just water.I Wish1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I wish they didn't burn so bad in the shower.
I wish I didn't collect stained tissues.
I wish we didn't have to get rid of the cat.
I wish I could roll up my sleeves.
I wish I didn't crave the sensation.
But I really wish you didn't know what I was talking about.
CutShe carefully removed the darkly stained towel from her desk drawer. Unfolding the towel she lifted up a blade testing its sharpness by sliding her finger along its metal edge. She outstretched her arm onto the towel staring at the scars already taking place. Glancing over her shoulder at the locked door, she slowly slid the blade into her wrist. The flesh ripped cleanly away the blood spilling out over her arm and towel. Taking in a deep breath she wiped away the blood and replaced the towel and blade in its hiding place. Thinking No one will ever understand.Cut7 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
What to live forWhat to live for2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In this milestone
It's turned me under
I feel so alone
And for once I wonder
I used to feel so alive
Through the break up; I stood strong
Yet I fell astride
The empty bliss; its too wrong
Scared again I tremble
What do I live for?
I walk and run, I stumble
I gaze at nothing like a shamed whore
The stress's aggression
Lead me to an uproar
As silent as the ocean shore
Will I soon find?
Will I run out of time?
Everyone has a goal, where's mine?
Society's RebelsWe are society's rebels.Society's Rebels3 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Society has told us,
That there are certain ways,
We have to do things.
We have to dress a certain way,
And listen to a certain kind of music,
To be socially accepted.
Forget about being socially accepted.
We don't care.
We love the way we are,
And that's all that matters.
We're the kids who rock out to heavy music,
While the world listens to hip hop.
The kids that wear chains and safety pins,
On their "abnormal" clothes.
The ones with their hair dyed bright colors.
We are the kids you reject.
We are society's rebels.