The Action I OwnSleeping to the sound of the truck's motion vibrating my eight year old arms,
I dreamt of skyscrapers peppering mountains like trees.
A current of cars rushing on highway rivers,
The undertow of black rubber skid tracks.
I dreamt of cities at night looking like pearls,
threaded by bridges to wear around my neck.
And then suddenly opening my eyes,
the way children can sense when they're home;
I woke up to blazing orange lights against blackness and pine trees,
looking like the fires of coal-powered engines, of cigarette thoughts.
The logging yard lit up like sunlight through stained glass church windows
or a desert oasis.
These trucks being loaded and unloaded were endless,
This has always existed, I thought to myself,
This will always exist.
Ten years later, I can see those lights from my backyard
with logging trucks going east and west
and I am eight years old again thinking,
This is how God must feel.
ED AlphabetA is for anxiety, which you will have everydayED Alphabet9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
whenever you see a girl who may be skinnier in some way.
And all the bones of your skeleton you see revealing
is B. What's scary is you find it appealing!
While you wittle your waist down to a size 23,
your control has been stolen (which is obviously C).
D is dying and you never think of that,
just as you can't see how you're not actually fat.
E, emaciation, eating, and extreme exercise
is all to get rid of your non-existant thighs.
Food, your enemy, is to be avoided with fear,
another F word, along with fasting, my dear.
G is the guilt you will carry all day and all night,
unaware or blind to how you're losing this fight.
H is a heart attack which is almost your fate
if you don't correct this wretched self-hate.
I, is yourself, whom you've hidden away
behind bones, lies and a wide array
of justifying this disease (no friend is this).
J can't stand forever, you know something's amiss.
But you'll forget again when K, keitosis set
Processes of PurityWhen Jeremy and IProcesses of Purity10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Walk down Westmoor in
February, I know the
Nasturtium leaves have
Collected rain water in the
Center of their green veined
Hearts. The glass beads have
Gathered large and clear and the
Cavities of our chests lay
Open and convex. Willing we are, for the
Desert there knows no quench.
Green will purify the acid run-off
As it puddles within us. Breathing
Droplets will filter through the
Flimsy cheesecloth and
Strike the sand in silence. Perhaps
Light will transfigure each into
Bits of bread—flaked, illumined,
Descending. But the black writhing
Wire trees below will refuse to be
Dampened or fed, screaming
Abuse at One who requests the
Raising of birch bark arms into
His monochrome sky.
MotherMother10 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Mother wakes at five thirty in the morning
even Sundays, though the newspaper hasn't been delivered
to me sitting at the top of the stairs.
She squints at me with Hitchcock eyes,
says that my bathwater is turning light gray, it's time to get in.
Sundays, we go to church, which isn't-just-a-social-thing-young-lady.
I'm here because I would neverever ask for anything else
if she bought me a dog.
It dawns, and her voice percolates my future, drip
drip drip, we say Scholarship.
I have a hard time knowing her
without her glasses
and her makeup in its technicolor glory.
She drives me to school every day, to save on parking.
Trucks and equinoxes blow past us as I stare out the window,
drawing pictures in the condensation with my thumb.
She says did you know that Beethoven
never saw the sea? Later we should go to the beach,
she'll show me a picture of a furtive flute of a girl
in a poodleskirt and a yellow-spattered room.
We can walk up and down the sand together
but it also meansIt's mundane,but it also means8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the soda aisle
and my wandering, walking up
then down. I frown to distract.
And buy the soda you love
because you might, you
might be here to have it. Though
with I need a drink.
I don't need a drink.
The same strength, faux-weak
ness that I will always have,
and tell myself I learned from you.
I buy it, afraid I won't like the taste,
or maybe I will and it'll be there
for a few days squishing along inside me.
It's just fucking soda, but it also means
I still love you.
finding your life jacketfinding your life jacket9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have a heart like numb limbs,
bad circulation tingles hands
and essays are like a bus journey in rush hour.
I often take naps before the sun
and take walks with the moon.
This is not planned,
this loosening of eyelids, this creaking
of floorboards, this plucking of organs
one by one, so I can get to the centre
where insects play and warmth hides
in the damp.
I did not say this would be easy, this re-hydrating
of lips so I can let kisses go back
where they belong, I do not want to be brittle
with aeroplane hair and match stick smiles that splinter.
I'm trying to find somewhere to go you see,
where cigarettes and supermarkets are not important,
it is not always that simple to find yourself again
under old CDs and that look in your parents eyes
when you return home with slumpping bags
full of eyeballs and clothes three sizes too large.
The world does not care if I am holding a magnifying glass
up to my flesh or holding broken plates tight
or saying 'I am great, thanks' when I really mea
He Thinks By FireCastlesHe Thinks By Fire11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Set the scene in Vienna, Rome
Tripoli - countries in cities.
Restaurants in the shade.
Men in chairs
With white straw hats, the sun curve
Of the day, and buzzing of motors on
Family visits an old man.
A hearty dinner, the sun a shine on the glass.
She says tell
Like you used to.
The boys poke the ground,
Fiddle with the earth,
Before he sighs.
I sign in blood.
A column splits, spoken
Ramparts, assailed corridors.
Degraded anarchs in the veins.
I hear Fire.
Random chaos in
The voi- voi- Void.
And my entry read:
'Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate!'
Abandon all hope, ye who enter!
The stun is complete. Boys caught moving
Sag down and shake.
She asks why? How?
And he repeats, numbly:
Abandon all hope, ye who enter.