Heart: The Destruction
I'm left dreamless
Every single night...
I remain sleepless
With bloodshot eyes...
You race through my mind
Images that I can't stand
And time after time
You're depleting my strength
A plague of mixed emotions
My tears act like quicksand
I'm torn in every direction
By these encrypted feelings I don't understand
I wish my heart would stay hidden
And so far away from you
To confess would be forbidden
And everyday I would barely get through
I've fallen so low / Into the darkness below
By the sorrow of my soul / It's consuming me whole
There is no escape
From whats bottled up inside
My desire for you won't ever fade
And it's something that I'm failing to hide
I continue to yearn for you so much
Even if you're right here beside me
But I can't let our friendship be crossed
So this dilemma will never let me be free
Aura: The RevolutionAura: The Revolution2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I will never live up to any other expectations
I will only just reach the place in life that's destined
Never again will I be a victim of impossible outcomes
Never again will I allow my self-respect to be disgraced and overcome
I am a prisoner no more
Discrimination became the martyr
I had to put an end to this war
I will not be walked on like I had been before
The future of a fearless life is what I now strive for
The source of my resolve has been built into my core
I believe what's right / To live my life
I'll reach for the light / And shine so bright
There's no limit to the sky / This smile never felt so fine
I never thought it'd be mine / So I'll take it as a sign
Time heals all wounds
It may get dark but the sun will rise soon
Hearts will fall sick and spirits will feel blue
But after the storm our pride will become immune
GravityNot every man can prove their weight, their worth.Gravity2 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
With dreams of wings I am forced to walk.
I wish to become the challenger of my own gravity,
To rise so much higher than fate will allow.
A wall of fate; nothing satisfies.
Just because I defy you, doesn't make me wrong.
The size of my deed will reflect my ego,
Project myself, I must become exactly what I want.
So gravity, I challenge you to keep me down,
I defy you to crush my wings!
In defiance I scream at my fate;
"I'll gain my wings and you'll keep your weight!"
ApartApart1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I couldn't see the consequences-
As I tried to trust my heart
I just couldn't resist-
The blind love that ceased my wars
Helping me let go of the struggles-
That I foolishly held in my hands
I freed the thoughts that quarreled-
Tears fell in order for me to stand
Truth can be the worst enemy
Lies can be the strongest ally
Harmony isn't immune to tragedy
Because you made a myth out of your apparent humanity
Mistakes can never be renamed! / Scars can never be erased!
Compassion is used as bait! / Two sides to every face!
A piece of peace is caged! / Watch the bridge burn away!
I'll desecrate the meaning of “passion”
You redefined my every moral
There will be no hesitation
I won't need anyone -anymore-
I ignored the risks-
Of handing over my hope
Killed by a kiss-
Turning my world to stone
I believed in your deceit-
And I fell too hard
My mind endlessly screams-
Rain Of ThunderRain Of Thunder2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Rain Of Thunder
I took the gift of light for granted-
Assuming I would always see
But when my world darkened-
My fears took the best of me
And I would give anything
Just to see a spark or a glow
But my faith was also fading
Withering away like my hope
The only sight I had
Was beyond the walls in my mind
But they were just figments from the past
A false savior that I could only hide behind
The shadows were becoming my mask
It was shielding me from living my life
The skies rumbled ominously / Like cries echoing sorrowfully
I felt rain falling endlessly / Like infinite liquid apologies
Reality shed the blackness / The roars fiercely pierced
My eyes ignited the darkness / The heavens suddenly burst
What once was lost
Can also be found
For effects without a cause
Nothing would ever be returned
Our paths will once again cross
For destiny is bound
The lowest of the low-
I have seen
SkylapseSkylapse2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And now I finally see-
The true face of faith that I once held so dearly
This sensation is somewhat familiar-
Thickening tears becoming entangled
I clench my trembling fists-
As a desperate prayer exits my tainted lips
Blindly lead down this beaten path
Reaching the end forces me to despise the past
Hymns of comfort have left me feeling torn
This flawed cross can't protect me anymore
I always reached for what wasn't even there
The darkness becomes clear as the light disappears
I kiss the regretful abyss / Embracing the rift I once lived
My pain and peace endlessly twist / Memories that no longer exist
You were just a well-practiced act
And you managed to slip through my hands
Let the halos and golden gates be erased
I shouldn't fall if there's no such thing as grace
It was all just a metaphor to help my mind cope
Fusing night terrors with illusions and hope
Dreaming Of BloodDreaming Of Blood2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Dreaming Of Blood
I lay solemnly asleep-
Crimson droplets rain down
The heavens are weeping for me-
Releasing all the tears that I won't
I'm cradled by the secrets from within
And the promises of hope that I'm afraid to sing
Along with those memories that bring me to the very brink
My closed eyes peer up at the sun-stained sky
Painting a portrait of a desired life
Yearning to feel what it's like to live without strife
As my unconscious hand reaches for a trustworthy knife
I open myself up for the first time
And experience my body shiver and cry
A RED RELEASE! / A LIQUID SCREAM!
A CHAIN UNLEASHED! / A NIGHTMARE FREED!
Casting away the years of past consequences
I hit rock-bottom many times before- so I'll do anything to become painless
I temporarily let go and stop another era of darkness
And I can feel once again from acting so careless
I consider it harmless if I survive my own carna
In The RainfallIn The Rainfall2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In The Rainfall
Dripping with blame
Bound by hate
I felt your anger
I held my pieces together
I always wait for the right moment-
To finally break down
I need the pain to flow perfect-
To let it all out
I'm reaching for my tainted core / I won't let you corrupt me anymore
You will not be a part of me / This is not how it's going to be
I always wait for the oncoming storm-
That's the only time
Endure it all until the promised calm-
Just to call it mine
I am myself again
You're gone with the rain
I am my own protection
I can rise above the destruction
Love AgainLove AgainLove Again1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I hate to admit-
That I don't stand a chance
All risks turn into rifts-
Our hands will become too...distant
I crumbled inside every time I tried-
I couldn't look you in the eyes
A reflection was all I saw-
The beast within me whose heart was still raw
I'm afraid that trust is a one-way street with me
You can only depend on your own
For I have deemed myself unworthy
While I cling onto the tombstones of massacred hopes
I've abandoned the part of my soul
That connected to others
I was forced to let that side of me go
So never again would I fully mourn for another
A sphere of tears-
Floods my sockets with fear
Every possible future will mimic the past
I've stayed awake-
Inside the eternal moments that I've created
And my immortal regret-
Is that I don't know if I can ever fall in love...again
UnfazedUnfazed2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Hardships are a token
There's so many scars
I'm proud to be broken
I'm a living shard
I live off of regret
Breathing in certainty
My life feeds on suspense
It's almost considered a dependency
People break down sometimes
That's an understatement
Pretending to walk the line
While hope is in fragments
Can you imagine-
Enduring another lifetime
Even a fraction-
Of the pain I called mine?
I reach for the sky / Sweat falls in the fire
Worshiped halos remain shy / Shall I wait here forever?
People say we are all loved
That's nothing but a lie
Belief and trust become lost
That's the only truth I will testify
The gates will stay closed-
Backs will be turned
I will pray no more-
Only to try and justify the hurt
Some things are just not meant to be
No expectations- means no let downs
My own words are the only ones I'll believe
I was once lost, and I was once never found
And when death finally comes for me
My hollowed soul won't be raised
It will learn that statues nev
Ashes: ForeverAshes: Forever1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's a different kind of panic
When last resorts are no longer a choice
Invisible infernos become an epidemic
Taking me far past the breaking point
It's beyond right or wrong
For someone to endure these moments
It's a cruel sensation to become undone
And to be left alone to face the on-coming carnage
Ashes burn / Hopes condemned
Ashes burn / Life's lament
Ashes fall / Reaping shame
Ashes fall / Forgiveness fades
Piece by piece- No cure for the cursed
Belief after belief- No relief for the impure
Tear by tear- No rain for the inflamed
Prayer after prayer- No shelter for the estranged
Ashes scatter / Memories freed
Ashes scatter / Serenity released
Ashes rest / Never mourn
Ashes rest / No return
It's neither an ending nor a beginning
When life and death trade names
It's just a cycle, never ending
The wheels of fate
On The Wings Of A ButterflyOn The Wings Of A Butterfly2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
On The Wings Of A Butterfly
Precious, little cocoon
Recovering from a past life
Shedding an old, tarnished costume
Almost ready to break through to the light
A reason was given
For me to hide away
Inside a solace prison
Where I shall stay
Until the ritualistic tradition
Forces me to adapt and change
Biding time! / Healing wounds!
Courage thrives! / Hope looms!
Pain divides! / Becoming immune!
Eyes shine! / Wings bloom!
The reason has proven
That the power of one can truly overcome
The insults and mockery of evolution
Only fuels the being that I strive to become
The solution is an inner, translucent revolution
And then the path to greatness has only just begun
It's so hard to let go of your armor
But sometimes it's worth to at least try
To open yourself up and make the departure
And take flight...on the wings...of a butterfly
Everyone Can Be BrokenHow completely your life can changeEveryone Can Be Broken2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Until who you were seems like a story -
Some twistedly unhappy fairytale.
There are truly good people in the world
But it's my belief that everyone can be broken
And the sickness in me wants to prove it -
Leave no one unscarred
Perhaps people so rarely ask for help because they forget they need it.
You've been in this room a hundred times
But do you know how many bars there are on the windows?
How many times have you cried
With no one watching?
About as many times as you've stared at your palm
And wondered if your future is really written on it.
On Love and the Broken HeartedDeep into her eyes, he looksOn Love and the Broken Hearted3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Deep into her soul
Holds her warm heart in his hands
His stands firm and cold
Sleeping in his arms, she lies
Gentle as a lamb
Dreams a future with her love
Destined to be damned
Deceit, hungry in his eyes
Words and actions play
Lustful vision staring down
Where his beauty lay
Turning cheek, she breathes a sigh
Jolts his fantasy
Smiling, turns her head once more
Never will she leave
Lips of sugar slightly part
Delicate and sweet
Bitter is his selfish smile
Kiss he longs to meet
Wakened now, she sees his face
Falsified by love
Angel like does this fox seem
She is not enough
He is not looking for love
He's not after her
Her display, the only thing
Heightening his thirst
Her mouth shapes words; "I love you"
"I love you too", he says
But secretly, he's waiting
Wanting her, a sin
"Come and let us lay tonight"
Face and smile fall
Heart is shaken and surprised
This request is all
Nothing more she's wanted for
Just a pretty face
To use for the time being
Fear. I am always afraid of nothing ever working out.Fear.2 years ago in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
Terrified of bad things going even worse.
Petrified that I will end up nothing.
Scared everything will go wrong.
Life collapsing down suddenly.
Everything becoming nothing.
Nothing being well.
LightlessI never know what to write aboutLightless2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The outcome, I usually despise
I feel hopeless until it hits me
This metaphorical orb of light
This light, filled with ideas
Ideas, showing me the way
The way into that feeling
The feeling of being hopeful once again
Sadly, that light wishes
Never to come around
For some time now,
That orb hasn't been about.
Now, surrounded by darkness,
I'm forced to write alone
Alone with no light
To guide me where to go.
The NetherThe NetherThe Nether3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I saw the life I would have lived
Had you and I stayed together
And all I'm left with is relief
I just escaped the Nether
I had originally once believed
That I'd been done a diservice
And the thought of living life alone
Had made me more than nervous
Not only did you take my heart
But you seemed to have claimed another
He who I once thought a friend
Became instead, a lover.
But lest this rhyme be full of woe
I shall tell you why I smile
Yet I advise to take a seat
This telling takes a while
There were once a pair of people
Who were perhaps the most in love
That the lone souls can strive to be
A whole made out of halves
And I shall tell you, we were in love
Of such things, one cannot lie
And perhaps, in some dark crevace
Such things just cannot die.
However real our love once was
All things, in time, they fade away
No Romeo, nor Juliet
Just a few things left to say
Fast foward to the modern day
And our love given it's own chance
Falls, stumbles off its own feet
50 Premium Memberships - 31,800 Points!Hello there everone!50 Premium Memberships - 31,800 Points!2 years ago in Personal More Like This
As some fo you may know I am looking to collect 31,800 by 25 December 2012!
I am raising 31,800 to give 50 3-month premium memberships on Christmas of 2012.
I cannot do this alone.
HOW DO YOU DONATE?
To donate to this cause, go to my page, ManiacalFreak, and click "Donate" on the donation pool.
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To further help this cause, please favourite this journal.
Feature it in your next journal, and send it to your friends!
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This Unknown FeelingThis Unknown Feeling1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
This Unknown Feeling
It's in this one moment-
That my eyes are truly opened
When the world around me is torn-
My childish heart exiles it's warmth
There are no real words-
To express this level of hurt
My tears want to go berserk-
But the shattered urge...is purged
Breathless ever after
Everyday masks were trustful
For reasons that seemed hopeful
I yearned for reality to be rendered true
I wanted it to represent what I would never lose
Eyes torn wide / Darkness swallows light
Suddenly side-swiped / Ripped your disguise
Spite grows inside / Stripped my pride
My humanity's demise / Destroyed and deprived
My mind lay in ruins
There's nothing worth holding
Attachments never really last
That realization- I finally grasped
Truth can be the victim of fiction
And trust can quickly be abandoned
It's within any second-
That hope itself can b
Lost Old Vulnerable EnemyLost Old Vulnerable EnemyLost Old Vulnerable Enemy3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Yesterday I saw a light
It came to me after a fight
So I struggled for a while
Should I let it come to me?
Or prepare myself to flee?
Should I accept it with a smile?
Quickly my decision was made
I said ok and hoped it stayed
The light then entered in my heart
And filled me with suspicious joy
I almost felt like Helen of Troy
And then the light had to depart
So there I was sitting in the dark
Left with nothing but a mark
In the middle of my heart
That burned to ashes and fell apart
Two Sides to Every StoryCan't believe you're not here. | Can't you see I'm still here?Two Sides to Every Story1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I thought you were my fear. | Being silent is my fear.
Now I just want you back. | I'll always have your back.
I have to keep this on track. | I will keep it on track.
I'm sorry that I hurt you. | I'm sorry that I hurt you.
I'm not sure what to do. | I wonder what you'll do.
A slight buzz is what I feel. | My thoughts you barely feel.
I wonder if you're real. | I promise that I'm real.
I'll never forget the pain. | I'm sorry for all the pain.
You drove me so insane. | You're not really insane.
What if it happens again? | It will never happen again.
How can I call you my friend? | You are my closest friend.
I just want to be happy. | I want you to be happy.
Can I still be me? | Can you accept me?
I (don't) want to be aloneI want to be aloneI (don't) want to be alone1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
So no one can hear me screaming
So I can bleed out my pain
So I don't have to hide the problems
And the wounds
I want to stay here alone
Fighting my inner demons
With no help
Nobody to feel my pain
Nobody to fight for me
I want you to leave me alone
So you won't get caugh
In my spiral of darkness
And self destruction
Please (don't) leave me alone...
Her Song.She holds on to your memory.Her Song.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Keeps your picture near at all times.
Dark curls and green eyes.
Perfect white teeth.
A sharp chin.
When she sits down at the keyboard to play;
She'll hear the words in her ears:
The sound of love.
'I love it when you smile..'
Her fingertips grace the keys, black and white.
Turning pink and red.
'You ARE beautiful'.
The sound of countless sunsets fills the dusty room.
Your arm flits around her shoulders, it is but a memory.
Just a memory.
You are a ghost that listens to her talk to herself.
You are the air against her lips.
You're nothing but a memory.
The sound of picnics in the park graces your ears.
She never would have done this without him.
A helping voice in her ears;
'B flat. No, no baby, B flat.'
The sound of heartbreak fills the room.
She has to stop the song.
You won't come back.
She went, all dressed in black.
A single rose.
And a tissue under her nose