When I was a kid my psychiatrist diagnosed me with schizophrenia, so you can imagine how I got really paranoid when my brother insisted that I didn't have a psychiatrist. But as it turned out, my brother suffered from a rare case of pre-adolescent Alzheimer's. Also he didn't exist.
I'm better now though, but I'm still uncertain to if my Twitter account is real or a schizophrenic figment of mine.
Whenever somebody tells me to guard something with my life I ask what's in the bag, because I'm not staking my life for anything less than an iPod.
My Twitter is a good thing to tell your friends to follow. Maybe not your best friends, but like, that guy that overheard you planing a party and kinda had to invite to not feel like a dick. Those are my people.
I've never been in a protest but if I were I imagine it would be against stuff I don't agree with. Like rights.
Those protesters never did manage to get that law passed which would make my Twitter feed the exemption to the freedom of speech. But that's because it might've been a story I made up on twitter, I'm never sure what's real or twitter anymore. Oh, I should tweet that!
Everybody laughed at my uncle for attempting to train murder squirrels. But at his funeral nobody... Okay a few people still laughed.
Lately I've been trying to invent a tweet that will make the reader go instantly blind. It's a ambitious attempt and it's been very challenging but I think I'm starting to make progress. To keep updated, follow me on Twitter.