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Damn you Hollywood, you've doomed us all!

The Twogag Facebook page.
It was never proven it was the cause of all those deaths.

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It's fine people, you enjoy your summer. I'll just be over here holding my breath until fall arrives.

If you're allergic to nuts, then do not consume the Twogag Facebook page.
(because it's nuts)

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When I was a kid my psychiatrist diagnosed me with schizophrenia, so you can imagine how I got really paranoid when my brother insisted that I didn't have a psychiatrist.
But as it turned out, my brother suffered from a rare case of pre-adolescent Alzheimer's.
Also he didn't exist.

I'm better now though, but I'm still uncertain to if my Twitter account is real or a schizophrenic figment of mine.


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Whenever somebody tells me to guard something with my life I ask what's in the bag, because I'm not staking my life for anything less than an iPod.

My Twitter is a good thing to tell your friends to follow.
Maybe not your best friends, but like, that guy that overheard you planing a party and kinda had to invite to not feel like a dick.
Those are my people.

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Or the alternate philosophy:
There are no problems, only ignores.

Kinda like you're trying to do with my Twitter plugs.

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I may not know science, but I know what I like.
wait...

If you want to know more about science, follow someone other than me on Twitter


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One of these days someone will figure out that I don't actually know science.

Have you checked out the Twogag Facebook page yet?
If not, my nagging will getcha one of these days!

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I've never been in a protest but if I were I imagine it would be against stuff I don't agree with.
Like rights.

Those protesters never did manage to get that law passed which would make my Twitter feed the exemption to the freedom of speech.
But that's because it might've been a story I made up on twitter, I'm never sure what's real or twitter anymore.
Oh, I should tweet that!

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Everybody laughed at my uncle for attempting to train murder squirrels.
But at his funeral nobody... Okay a few people still laughed.

Lately I've been trying to invent a tweet that will make the reader go instantly blind. It's a ambitious attempt and it's been very challenging but I think I'm starting to make progress.
To keep updated, follow me on Twitter.

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I've never really been on a bad date, because ya know, it's a date with me.
It's easy to rise above the expectations.

I'm all about managing peoples expectations. That's why the Twogag Facebook page is such a dump!

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