Snow White SyndromeI seem to have forgotten the sound of my own heartbeat
Splitting apart my limbs I've found the source of my insanity
Coiled around veins and arteries
Star dust and a lazy man’s drug
Has put me to sleep under fictitious pretenses
Of forbidden apples and two faced prince charming’s
Inside a silent room my weather like heart stoppedThe fever in my bonesInside a silent room my weather like heart stopped2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Is restless and my breaths
are raspy and ragged
As my lungs fold in upon themselves
Inhale. Exhale. Repeat
You ask me how I am
The rock pool blue of your eyes
Glance at the sleeves in which I have buried my heart
Knuckles folded deep into my thighs
My fucking hands always give it away
I grasp for a rope and am met with blurring synapses
Trauma settling itself into my collar bones
I tell you how last night I was contemplating Greek mythology
While caught between a rock and a bottle of Paxil
I think I saw heaven hiding behind my alarm clock
It turned out to be the afterglow of street lights instead
UnknownI'd listen to radio signalsUnknown3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But all I'd hear is chlorine bleached static
That leaves a the bitter taste of Advil in my thoughts
Drugged up in an anaesthetic haze of morphine induced comatose
I'd clench my teeth to stop the florescent vowels
From escaping my insomniac lips
I've chewed them shut and pasted book spines on my ribcage
In an attempt to be something organic and interesting
Because the plain Jane exterior I've laced between my iris's
Is becoming a contradiction of what little sanity I possess
The split second moment when everything collapsesCarve our names into the woodworkThe split second moment when everything collapses2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Of your spine so maybe we can force something
Beautiful out of the mud and arteries and synapses
because drowning my sorrows in the last dregs
of cheap coffee leaves the taste of a corpse
between my teeth and cheek
I’ve seen lakes with the bones of drowned poets
In the spaces between your hang dog one liners
And maybe it’s okay to crush clichés between our fingers
And smear them like blood across our cheeks
And run wild like frenzied deer eyed children
The devils headlights
You were full of loose change and receipts
Constantly shifting between the spectrums
Of visible to ultraviolet, you were blinding in the way
That the morning light burns your eyes red until it clears
And you see stars and love when really
It’s sleep deprivation and the balmy film of unconsciousness lingering
In the back of your throat
There was this fleeting apparition about the way
You’d tilt your neck just enough
To make your hair fall in your eye
Insert creative title here.sometimes I hate the ideaInsert creative title here.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I rather eat the autumn
skies crushing cold air between my molars
and hiding shaky hands
between pages of dictionaries
and clickclickclicking sounds of typewriters
you asked me why I wrote poems
on the soles of my shoes
and I told you
it was because I wanted to
imprint myself on the earth
then I can create beauty
even if I am not
I Wasn't Supposed To Be Worth It.Was it worth it?I Wasn't Supposed To Be Worth It.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Trading the taste of cinnamon on your lips
To smell like cigarettes and a painful hangover.
Was life so cruel to your perfectly skewed smile,
That you had to swallow a bottle of brandy
Every night at 9 pm
To hear yourself laugh again?
How could I have not noticed
The tremor in your right hand
Every time you held a pen?
Was I so blind for the love you had for me to see
That my love was destroying you?
'I am yours.' You whispered when you still had Petrichor surrounding you.
I inhaled your scent like oxygen,
All the while I suffocated you like sulfur.
You gave me your heart on a plate,
And I was the last pill that took your life away from you too.
Mother always told me I broke the things I had
Because that is how I was;
Selfish and undeserving.
I didn't deserve you.
You weren't supposed to be mine.
Joey had a smoke and burned the moon downOne night on a long road trip to NebraskaJoey had a smoke and burned the moon down3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The skies opened up and bled onto my pupils
And the taste of gin burned my throat
As my star strewn spine strained against
The static of the radio blasting from your car stereo
We chased god
Only to find kerosene angels
And glow flies hanging from tree tops
Frozen StarlightSolid starlight beam,Frozen Starlight3 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
Photon Congo line.
Each born of fusion,
To squirm through desolate space,
Die in my retina.
Stuck In ReverseWe'd make drunken eye contactStuck In Reverse3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
While sat on iron bar motorway bridges
Road kill paved beneath us
And diluted stars that hung above us like spirits
Passing bottles of liquor while discussing Shakespeare
I'd hide behind my sleeves
We were scatter brained and tongue tied
Scorched pupils and leaper fingertips
I don't know how to let go of these Polaroid memories
We need to plan our escape because Alice had the right idea
The smell of stagnant rainwater is making me nauseous
Because sometimes painkillers never seem to work
And carving words into one another is the only way we can exist.
If you drink enough vodka it tastes like loveHe’d whisper sweet nothings to treesIf you drink enough vodka it tastes like love3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Hoping the roots would remember his name
I watched him drop pieces of himself like bread crumbs
His lantern limbs quivering
I don’t think he ever really knew how lovely he was
And on a sunny day when the pavement was sweating
Out onto the roadside
Everyone else found out too
I don’t think I’ll ever forget him because he was like a dream catcher
So quiet and magical in the way his eyes turned green in the dark
And blue in the winter
Like he stored the world’s secrets behind his cuckoo spit heart
Displacement(Co) existing in suspended animationDisplacement3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We are dismembered and static
Spread eagled and gutless
Staring blankly with mottled retinas
When did everything lose its meaning?
We are the mass produced degenerates
Underdogs with prices on our heads
In some kind of lucid crown
But all our kings are left for dead
The older we get the better we used to beAll we ate that day were 3The older we get the better we used to be2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To stifle the anxious shaking
Of our palms or
At least produce excuses for
The anxiety rustling beneath
Our scarred veins
When did the diamonds
Leave your bones
And for how long have
You been expiring without them
When did the construction
Of your false reality
Finally fall through
The fragile infrastructure
Of your factitious commentary
Lack the physical manifestation
Of your laboured breathing
Perhaps it's best if we ache
For magic and other childish things
Because the world hurts our eyes
And I don't want to see anymore
The skies are pressing against
Our glass houses and
The sun is bleeding over the rim
Of the bathtub
It's slow dripping
Pelting out a funeral song
Evening childWe’d sit on porch stepsEvening child3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Insecticide burning our lungs
Awkward and gangly attempting to grow into our limbs
You with freckles dusting your nose and I with a small dot on my cheek
You called it a beauty spot and I said god was too lazy to give me freckles
We were 15 and lust driven amnesiacs
Dissolving our flesh with cheap gin in your tree house
Throwing pebbles at the sky hoping to shatter it
We were an epidemic of the underdog prognosis
Playing encores to an audience of cowards
For some reason we’d always rush across rail way tracks
Metal bars quivering and our broken sneakers stumbling
We were branded in mistakes and embellished in thin silvery scars
Battle scars we’d say laughing because there was nothing else to do
I would love to give upi.I would love to give up2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
'there's a second hand that holds mine, and stuffs the words back down my throat.'
her voice a crack--
sticks & stones breaking
between her teeth
but when she tries to find the sound
her pen runs dry
[can someone flip the switch to 'yes' or 'no'
i've been so de
& my head is saying 'maybe']
(i would ask myself,
but i don't trust liars)
she tries to string the words
down a thread
but they always c r u mb l e
(& the cinders burn
with the same old questions)
but when you turn
she'll be gone
there are rocks in her throat when she asks you for help.
the words grind to sand on her tongue.
smoke in her head
smeared across her hands
her fingers are broken;
o k e d
she reaches for some kind of
at the corner
& turn of each & every page
A half visible mirage rots in broad daylightI think I fell down a holeA half visible mirage rots in broad daylight3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That was six feet too deep
And I don’t know
If I want to climb out anymore
Because it’s so wonderful down here where the stars
No longer hold meaning
And voices can no longer be heard
Over the sound of decaying matter
Waiting to be recycled
NaPoWriMo Day: 1I’ve got 30 daysNaPoWriMo Day: 13 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to defy Icarus:
teach this rose thorn heart
how to fly.
[ All I want to be
is the space between
But, I’m here,
ripping holes in blank pages
while nursing nebulae knuckles
with white plastered walls.
Words on the WallThe sun melted into the glamorous skyWords on the Wall3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The moon stood there, hidden by sweet lullabies.
But mommy was crying, her day had been hard
The tears in her eyes twinkled just like the stars.
Her face wasn't happy like it should have been
And though she was saddened, she forcefully grinned.
I wanted to see Mommy smile through it all...
I painted a picture on her bedroom walls.
I told her to look, just to come in and see
But Mommy was angry... she wasn't happy.
She threw me down hard on the cold wooden floor
Then picked me up, slamming my head on the door.
She yelled and she screamed, then she hit me once more
She slapped me till I couldn't see anymore.
My heart then stopped beating, my laugh went unheard
Then Mommy got up without saying a word.
She looked at the walls splattered with my young blood
Then fell to the ground in her tears with a thud.
She looked at my face, then she looked all around
Then wrote on the walls with the first thing she found.
Then, after she finished, she wanted self h
Thou Shall BurnClench my soul, go right ahead; ignite your flesh and I shall deem you dead.Thou Shall Burn3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Dance with fire and thou shalt be burned, scorched to deformity with your soul never returned.
Exceed your limits, turn away your falls, shall the trials begin beneath the walls?
Oh yes, they shall, my dearest thing, for your fate will rest within this ebony ring.
Such glory was enthralled into my soul, how you plead for its power, its superiority, its toll.
Though alas you've proven not worthy of it all, hence your death shall be remarkable, forever now you shall fall.
Nineteen stars away from being road killThe taste of your formaldehyde kiss won’t leave my lungsNineteen stars away from being road kill3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No matter how many times I've tried to turn a blind eye
You seem to linger in the crook of my neck
And at the curve of my hips
I don’t know whether to be glad or to cry
At the fact that your fingertips have left deep grooves in my waist
Even though your footsteps
no longer leave imprints on my front yard
Or on the pavement
Rather you lie beneath the earth
Asleep waiting for a kiss that won’t ever wake you up
I think I can hear the stars cry with me sometimes
When I’m left alone on the flaking swing sets in our favourite park
Drunk and alone wearing your old t-shirt
Embracing a blurry past that fades into the horizon
Reaching out for a hand that's no longer there
I fell from the sky when I tried to kill god.I gathered wild grief stricken boysI fell from the sky when I tried to kill god.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And stored them in glass jars
Their moon shine eyes hooded,
Under the train tracks red light glow
Much like the local strip of neon slit sidewalks.
I realized I was not so much the Doreen in my queer little life
So much as I was Esther.
When I’d take slugs of cheap wine whilst reading the classics
And writing obscure essays and analysing dead poets
Licking the burgundy liquid from my wrists
And mopping up the spilled ink
With my frayed sleeves.
The autumn air smells of rot and I can’t help but reminisce
About bonfires in old abandoned warehouses
Where we’d run across open fields that split the sky
Open and twisted it into
Something like a looking glass
Except there’s no fire in your eyes.
Just watered down sonnets about girls who work at diners
For minimum wage, who get into cheap bars,
And drink martinis with rich business men.
Maybe we were born to be the lost generation
Or maybe silver linings
Are just the silver refract
I was never a writer. I: HalfsleeperI was never a writer.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I fell in love, once.
A snowstorm melting from my hair - dripping cataract:
diluted coffee. A dark room filled with language
so beautiful, I almost understood what was said.
Children are getting younger, and this land has no end,
where do you rest your head?
All things are in a constant state of vibration,
a harmony in the space between
our fingers. our hands.
I’ve only ever stopped to listen
Of boats and boutsWinter leaking into our phosphate spinesOf boats and bouts3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Fingers curled and clawing at sun baked whispers behind our lips
Trying to convey what silence tastes like on parched lungs
Misfortune snapping at our humming bird fingertips
The lost do not wish to be found.
Letters from a strangerDearest,Letters from a stranger1 year ago in Letters More Like This
put up a bird house near
the public bins,
gold finches have been
stealing breadcrumbs ever since.
Last tuesday the neighbours
upstairs, the doctors, you know
the ones; the flat that
smells like a corpse,
well they flooded the flat.
Frogs have moved in
and theres algae clawing
at the walls.
The ice cream truck doesn't
come down the road,
little Suzie climbed in
and went missing a month ago,
her body lay between
waters and strawberry sauce
in the Ruislip Lido, such a shame
Mum's brought hydrangeas,
pretty purple flowers,
she thinks they could brighten
the place up.
I think you'd like them
if it weren't for the
dead mouse we found
beneath the pot.