I love you guys.Thank you so much everyone! I have reached 50 watchers and you have no idea how freaking happy this makes me. Fifty of you decided my writing was okay enough to the point where you wanted to see more. I can't thank you enough for your supports. It means everything to me.
And thank you to my 50th watcher LilyLuvvsYou http://lillyluvvsyou.deviantart.com/
I love you all so much <3
Her.I hate this. You have no idea how much I hate this. This lonely feeling that builds up inside, creating this dark isolation that keeps me caged up, alone with my thoughts. I see the way my friend looks at his girl, and the way she looks at him. Love. It's perfect. He'll wrap his arms around her and whisper in her ear "Hey, you're beautiful. But you already knew that." And I know, that that's the kind of love that I desire. To be with the perfect girl. To wrap my arms around her and whisper lovely things into her ear. I want to hold her hand when we go on walks and talk in our personal inside jokes that only bring us closer. I want to have those phone calls, late at night, where we fall asleep still talking on the phone. I want to slow dance with her in the rain, and then looks into her beautiful eyes, whisper "I love you" and then lean in for a kiss. I want to be able to cook with her, take naps with her, take care of her when she's sick, lonely, scared. I want to be her protecter, herHer.2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I love youWhy can't people just take the words "I love you" seriously anymore? It's not just something you say to say it in like the first week of a relationship. It's a feeling that builds up inside you while you're together. It's when you look into their eyes and sense that you want to spend forever and always with them. It's when you both know each other like the back of your hands. It's when they know all your flaws and regrets and you know all of theirs and you can accept each other. It's when they're the first one you want to say "Good Morning" to and the last person you want to say "Goodnight" to. It's when you stay up talking until you both fall asleep. It's the way you feel butterflies when you're together. It's knowing that they'll take a bullet for you and you'd do the same. It's planning ways to do cute things to make them smile. It's being their best friend. It's being the one to pick them up. It's seeing that with them, you can be yourself. It's when you're thinking about it and yoI love you3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
untitledIsn't it scaryuntitled2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that right now
I could kill myself?
There's a knife rack upstairs:
in a matter of seconds
there could be bloodstains on the carpet
and my dying corpse on the ground
There's an oven:
if I turn it on high enough
and crawl in.....
There are pills in the medicine cabinet:
a slow painless death
in my sleep
There's a bath upstairs:
I could drown myself and
slowly lose consciousness
There are garbage bags in the cabinet:
I could suffocate myself
and be dead in seconds
that I could end my life
if I wanted to
You didn't dare.She smiled,You didn't dare.2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
but it was fake.
but she's about to break.
She reached out,
but no one came,
tried to fake it,
but the pain stayed the same.
This girl, she called to you,
but you didn't care.
Something told you to help,
but you didn't dare.
What would the others say?
The ones who called her a freak.
They may taunt or shun you,
so you choose not to speak.
Then she decides to leave.
Because no one wants her here.
You'll never see her cry.
She'll never shed another tear.
Be My SaviourShe says "I'm fine"Be My Saviour2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She means "I'm scared"
She cries silent tears
filled with the pain
that life inflicts
on her innocent soul
She suffers alone,
isolated by her thoughts
and has no one to comfort her
in her moments of despair
and to stop the rain from pouring
from those delicate hazel eyes
All she desires is to be loved
and to know that she
has someone who cares.
A savior to dry the tears
that betray her,
softly pouring from her eyes,
like silent pouring rain.
Then the eyes of hope,
radiating with light,
smiled upon her
A hand reached out
and pulled her from despair
into the clouds,
away from it all.
For the first time,
in all her life
she had a glimpse of hope
that everything might turn out
The angel spoke softly,
with comforting words
smooth as ice:
"No need to cry,
put away your tears
until you really need them
and I'll stop them when they come."
Lies.Her skin was so tight and crisp and with my touch it seemed like it melted away.Lies.2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
It was the color of caramel.
On her breasts there were goosebumps, as i brush my hand against it.
Her smell filled my nostrils and over took my senses.
She was there sitting in front of me. Begging me to eat her.
I must have her.
I undressed her hungrily, biting her, savoring her.
For i have waited to long for my princess.
With a tug, here there, her meat slipped away from her bone as she gave in to my lust.
"MICHAEL are you done with your fried chicken?!
Uh... Yes ma!"
And like that he left her naked and alone.
MisgenderedFirst things first: you wake up. You know, to the usual sound of Mother’s soft melodious singing while she cooks breakfast for you and your sister. You glance at the clock: it’s 6:30AM and somehow you manage to roll out of bed. When your mother sees you slouching in the kitchen she says “Goodmorning, Dear. Lovely bedhead.” She giggles, amused by her own self. You groan and continue walking like a Neanderthal to the table. The sweet aroma of Mother’s cooking only makes you sleepier, but the emptiness in your stomache is the only thing keeping you awake.Misgendered1 year ago in Profiles More Like This
You then notice your sister hasn’t come down yet, your mother has noticed too.
“Elizabeth!” she shouts, “Come down to breakfast!”
You hear a soft groan coming from her room.
“Elizabeth! Breakfast is getting cold!”
That reminds you, you’re starving. You walk into the kitchen and take in the wonderful breakfast smell: Mom’s homemade pancakes with bacon. You
FadingLosing hope in everything,Fading2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don't care what the future brings.
We're all gonna die anyways,
Why not tomorrow, why not today?
Tell me the reason, my purpose in life,
Tell me, why not suicide?
Give me reasons why I should live,
If I took my life, could you forgive?
I'm sorry, I know you thought I was stronger,
But I told you I can't take it any longer.
You told me these things, I told you I'm not,
I tried, I fought, again I lost.
This battle with myself, I've had enough,
Endured so much, depression's tough.
Battling addiction of self-harm too,
You have no idea what I've gone through.
I wanted to tell you.. So many times I'd tried.
"How are you?" "I'm fine," I lied.
When I tried to speak, the right words wouldn't come out,
'Cause for so many years, I filled my mind with doubt.
I was constantly bringing myself down,
Never really felt like I was wanted around.
When the time is right, my life I'll take.
That'll be the last time I break.
when I cutI pick up the razor blade,when I cut2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I take a deep breath.
I look down at my pail skin,
I place the razor blade on it.
I take another deep breath,
I close my eyes and then open them again.
I pull the razor blade across my flesh,
I take the blade and do the same,
on the rest of my arm.
then I'm done,
the pain is the best release I've had.
Confession about me Silent StrengthI am strong, but please never confuse this strength with invulnerability.Confession about me Silent Strength1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I do hurt.
I do cry.
I do love.
I do feel.
I do get crushed.
I do regret.
But please never think that while I may never show these things in front of you, that I don’t feel them.
Because I do.
More than you could ever imagine.
I’m a hyper sensitive person, forced into a role of strength.
It is just a rare occasion when my reserve breaks and I show it in front of people.
And when this happens, I reach a state of such openness and vulnerability that I fear.
Because I can withstand a thousand blows, but just one word can cut me down. And at that moment, I fear what could be said to me.
I’m very sorry if anyone who see this thinks of me as cold, or heartless, or unfeeling.
It's just in my life, I have had people who rely on me to be the strong one who keeps a level head and calm emotions.
And so when I break in front of someone, I apologize profusely.
Because what if they were someone that needed me
She CriesShe can't help but cryShe Cries3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Though she doesn't know why;
She hates the way
She feels every other day
And the tears from her swollen eyes
She cannot help but cry,
Black mascara running down her cheeks-
She hasn't cried like this in weeks.
She wishes she weren't so depressed,
And she feels like a mess.
She hides her face
From the shame and disgrace
She knows from their worried stares-
She doesn't know why they care
Or try to understand
The scars covering her hands,
The tears clinging to her eyes
When she finally cries.
Her sadness stays
Though to be happy is all she prays
Between the sobs and wails-
Attempts to smile always fail.
She hates herself for the way
She makes others feel every day;
She thinks of all her tears and their cost-
Love is gone and friendship is lost
On this girl who cries
Though she doesn't know why.
The greatest pain is that she takes
From others; her heart breaks
To know the sadness her own has made;
Her breath escapes when she sees their happiness fade.
She hates herse
MeltI wish more than anythingMelt1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
for you to be here with me.
Holding me in your firm embrace
with those arms tight around my waist,
emanating home without a sound.
Gazing at me with those eyes,
those ocean blue eyes,
inches away from mine;
my breath stopping short.
Taking one of my hands in yours,
our fingers intertwined,
tracing patterns on the back of
my hand with your thumb.
Whispering beautiful words into my ear,
your melodic voice would sent shivers
through every bone in my body,
and every crevice on my skin.
you would lean down
and your soft lips
would reach mine.
I assure you,
I would melt,
right on the spot.
My Escape"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.."My Escape2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My head is rested on my soft blue pillow.
My eyelids slowly shutting as the melody drifts on.
"..and all the things you do..."
The music takes control of my body.
Hands tapping eighth notes
Feet tapping quarter notes
"..and it was all yellow.."
A sunset on a beach
Orange, yellow, and red streaks painted across the sky
Waves gently crashing upon the shoreline
Birds softly singing as they fly across the colours,
becoming part of the perfect picture
There's a cool breeze that harmonizes with the waves
I steadily sit myself down in the cool sand
My left hand reaches down to lift some of it
It feels soft like silk
I open my hand and let the sand slowly pour back into it's place.
Closing my eyes, I breathe in the scent of the salty ocean
My lips form the shape of a crest moon
Suddenly I hear a disturbing screech.
My eyes scrunch together in hopes that it'll leave me be.
No, I'm not ready to leave.
Six Word MemoirDreaming of wonderlands, waking to wastelands.Six Word Memoir2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I say NOI say NO to the colour of your skin,I say NO2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I refuse to look at that.
Would pigment determent my point of view?
I would deserve a smack to the head!
I say NO to whatever you may be,
Man, woman, they’re side by side.
Nobody is more important than somebody else,
So Gender is not how I divide.
I say NO to your age, even when it’s high,
Nobody is written off for me there,
Experience is something you have so much,
It’s a blessing, a gift you can share.
I say NO to your income,
Would I care about your account?
Not what you make but who you are,
I want YOU, not your money, around!
I say NO to your education,
No to the work you perform.
Rocket scientist, cleaner, whatever you do,
You’re a beautiful person, thát’s my norm.
I say NO to your background,
Why would I mind where you’re from?
I see who you ARE, not who you once WAS,
The past is erased, forgotten, gone!
I say NO to those things that split people apart,
I say YES to the people, whoever it is,
I Met MeToday I met a girl,I Met Me2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."
Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.
"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.
Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."
Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.
"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."
How in the world?
Who is this little girl?
"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.
Though your friends will leave,
leave you feeling alone and cold,
you'll find a reprieve."
"So just stay strong
because I know you can do it."
How? Who are you?
I wished she would quit.
Suddenly it was silent,
and I turned to see,
but there was no one there at al
Will you be my home?Will you be my homeWill you be my home?1 year ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
My gentle security?
Will you lift me away
With the caress of your arms
Warm me wholly
With the slighest brush
Of your lips?
Will you be my shelter
Even from my own tears?
Will you let me take you for granted
Let me wrap you around me
And rock me to my dreams?
Will you hide me away
Be the place of my safety
Be my happiness
Sheilded from a world of sadness,
Will you be my home,
My gentle security
Silently filling my life with love?
Today, I cried.December 10th, 2012.Today, I cried.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Today I cried.
I wasn't bullied today.
Neither was I bullied yesterday.
Nor am I going to be tomorrow.
But I cried.
Because I relived every moment.
And that was enough.
I succumbed to my emotions.
Today I cried.
I wasn't particularly weak today.
Neither was I weak yesterday.
Nor am I going to be weak tomorrow.
But I cried.
Because I relived every moment.
And I'm not ashamed.
I succumbed to my emotions.
But... I'm not ashamed.
Today I cried.
But that's just the way I am.
Once in a while, you just need a good cry.
To remind yourself of:
the little emotion you have left.
You'll Never Understand...You'll never understand...You'll Never Understand...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But I'm glad you don't.
Because that would mean
You'd have to go through my pain.
And I'd never wish that
I Hope You Haven'tHave you everI Hope You Haven't3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Felt pain to the point
You are entirely numb
And can no longer tell
That you are not breathing?
Have you ever
Been so hopelessly in love
That when he was gone
You were left with a hole
Where your heart should be?
Has the idea of happiness
Ever seemed so far away
That you thought
You would never reach it?
Have you ever
Thought you were worthless
So much that you
Lost the desire for life?
I hope you haven't felt the way I did.