When will the cloud in my head clear?
Stuck in the middle of a messy riddle.
Tongue twisters told me not to toy with my mind.
I have already wasted a thousand years and said sorry a million times.
Chasing you became a constant dream,
Waking up to find myself alone again.
Teary mattress covers over me.
Feels like Water board, feels like youre torturing me.
Waiting foolishly in the wind because this is meant to be.
Waiting childishly in the rain because you are what I need.
What day is today? Ive lost count in my misery.
Tick tock, the clock replaces the rhythm my heart once beat.
Now its a hollow space inviting dark thoughts and sinister dreams.
While I sleep I feel you kiss, but see your blood soaked teeth.
The night must have begun the loop has somehow started again.
Every day it gets worse I lose a parts of me.
I open my eye to find out that I cant even see.
God as muted the world, for me its such a bliss.
Never feel so good to feel no more.
Escape in Dream (Poem version)Escape in DreamEscape in Dream (Poem version)2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In this big city life, big city lights.
You are a hundred miles from home.
The heart is not for clubs and parties.
But yet you march on like the armies.
The colours, the white, the strobe light.
Nothing compared to the country night.
Sky so clear you can see every star.
Lovers can rest their aching hearts.
Wish you were here not there life is tough.
Away from your love this road is rough.
Sometimes you can’t help but wonder.
Is this what your hope and dream is worth?
Heart feels empty and weaker every year.
Wake up to a dark room with no one near.
How can this be, noise is everywhere.
Is this the sound of a passing train?
Or a shout of warning:
“Go back home mister, you are truly lost”
The walls to the mazes never break.
That is why you need to fly away.
Wings started forming from my shoulder blades.
The wish came true, hope is not too late.
I see the house and the rose covered gates.
The windows wide open just for my sake.
Feels like mem
The one who loved you the most (Goodbye)I suppose that i played all my cardsThe one who loved you the most (Goodbye)2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
And still it has ended like this
but somehow im able to smile
even though you chose to be his
Do you remember not to long ago
We hung out all day at the park
you told me to "never stop writing"
and one day id be loved for my art
Well this is my last one to you
Anymore would fail to reach your ears
And it hurts to have to say goodbye
After all of our prosperous years
But I suppose that love really changes us
Hell, you changed me more everyday
You shown me what it's like to have a purpose
and to not be the one cast astray
But through all this I still find a smile
Because i know now that this is your choice
And there is nothing i can do to change that
Nothing 'cept the power of God's voice...
But Now as i take my leave
And the tears start to reach the floor
Don't cry, just remember me always
As the one who loved you the most...
They don't understandThey don't understand3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
They don't understand
They don't understand the fear we live in all year.
They don't get the fact life isn't all good, there are tears.
I don't blame them, even I find it hard to be fair.
But seeing my girl every day, going through the same shit.
Makes me feel pain she feels, but only a fraction of it.
Ten times worst for her, because she's in the centre of it.
Hopeless soul she doesn't know where to go,
Stumble across me, walking down this lonely road.
At first I was like them, I didn't understand.
How does hurting helps you like no-one can?
When love fails just get out that razor sharp knife.
Forget all else, pain brings blissful peace to our minds.
They don't understand, we are scarred far deeper than skin.
They don't know how many years it takes for us to repair within.
You should forgive them dear, they are not worth the tears.
As long as we are together as a pair,
we can get through another day another year.
Can You Heal My HeartPlease don't leave me aloneCan You Heal My Heart2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But don't stand by too close
I'm scared of the silence
I'm being haunted by ghosts
The past lives in my head
Displaying where my problems arose
Walking down the same road as my father
Is what I'm scared of the most
Never had someone to guide me
Someone who'd show me the path
The only lessons I've had
Showed me to be controlled by my wrath
Little by little
Its been eating at my heart
But who needs to feel
When I'm only embraced by the dark
I need to rub alcohol on all my wounds
So I'll press this bottle to my lips
Every shot is medication
That helps my thoughts become eclipsed
I'll use my pills
To turn my brain a dark abyss
Maybe all I need as medication
Is for Death to come and drop a kiss
Can you fight off these demons
Can you heal my heart
Prove my life is still worth living
Before I fall apart
I don't have much time
Please save me from the dark
To anyone who hears me
Please come and heal my Heart
I'm scared of this life
I'm scared of the pain
I Have WalkedI have walked through hell.I Have Walked2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I have pushed through its fires.
I have walked over needles and daggers with flaming arrows being fired.
I have walked through blizzards.
I have walked through freezing rain.
I have walked across thin ice and seen the cracks as it gives way.
I have walked over mountains.
I have felt their sharp edges.
I have stumbled over loose rocks and clung to the ledges.
I have walked the smooth paved roads,
And slipped on the smaller gravel paths too.
And felt the thorns tug at me as I pressed through the world to make a new.
But I have danced through meadows.
I have felt the soft grass underfoot.
The tingling of the summer sun and frolicked through brooks.
I have walked in light flurries.
Watched my footprints imprint in the gentle snow.
And I knew I’d left my mark behind, that my presence might affect someone not even known.
And I have marched into the deep oceans
I have walked through the swirling seas.
Only to emerge once again, complete and having faced a cha
White flagThese lies are killing me.White flag2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
This wretched pain drowns me.
This heart may be bleeding
but inside my mind im truly dying.
Maybe you cant see it.
But these tears should surly make you see.
That this heart is withering.
Just dying to be free.
Wont you please let me breath?
Cant you please just set me free?
This war keeps waging on.
These scars keep opening up.
I keep losing my heart and soul.
Set me free and let me go.
This cage keeps getting smaller.
This heart keeps breaking more.
This white flag keeps burning.
But inside im still fighting on.
But these wounds you make are getting sharper …
how much could one bleed on?
I'm AlrightI'm AlrightI'm Alright2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It took a long time
So much confusion
Not knowing who I was
What I had done
Where I was going
Wondering whether I had been a hero
Or a villain
Pondering what it all meant
Trying to puzzle out
My own feelings
Why did I hurt?
I could handle the most complex arithmetic
But I couldn't understand myself
Why was I thinking and feeling what I was?
Where did they come from?
Logic told me that they made no sense
So I thought about it some more
I thought and thought and thought
I thought for minutes and hours and days and weeks
I thought my problems away
I broke down the walls of my old philosophies
Moved my line forwards
To encompass my new understanding
Slowly slowly slowly
I got better
Things made more sense
I stopped thinking those thoughts
Stopped feeling that terrible
That isn't to say it's all gone
Or that I'm all done
That I've forgotten my past
And never think of it
It's not gone
I'm still growing
I'm far from done
And I think of it all the time
But it no longer rules my lif
40810If only you were soulless.408102 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
If you were mindless, blind,
you and I could make a beautiful disaster.
The press would write of our brief affair;
they'd paint me (the woman in red) as pathetic.
They will not consider how I need your love
or how it pains me so deeply to throw myself at you.
I will not be remembered as a poet warrior.
I'll be the eternal survivor no more.
All who think of me will shake their bowed heads
and tearfully remark;
If only you were soulless.
If you were mindless, blind,
You wouldn't have been such a bloody disaster.
Things I'll Never SayThere are certain things I’ll never say,Things I'll Never Say2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Like how I thought about killing myself today
Just to keep my own scary thoughts away.
Like how I stay awake way too late
To be sure I don’t awake in a bloody state.
Like how I soaked white into red last night
And turned myself into a ghastly sight.
Like how it hurts too much to breathe
When I make my own skin seethe.
Like how I Google things I shouldn’t
When I want to do things I couldn’t.
Like how I’m scared of being alone
Yet I’m only happy when I’m on my own.
Like how I know I’ll wind up killing myself
And turn into just a dusty photo on a dusty shelf.
Like how I make myself bleed every day
Even though I know I can’t go on this way.
Like how I maybe want someone to see
And for them to somehow help me.
But nobody will ever help me,
Because those are all the things I’ll never say.
The Past, The FutureDo you remember when you were little and your best friend told you she didn't want to be friends anymore? It hurts like something was nesting on your heart and had clawed its way into your soul. There is an childish elegance to the sadness that you assumed only existed for grown ups when they talk about grown up things. In the glorious contant of humanity, the existence of her will corrode and become a faded memory that you will only remember when you hurt again.The Past, The Future3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
And then you will lose your dog, your best friend, your confidant. It will happen suddenly and you will be left with nothing but the hole in your heart of a lost companion who you assumed would be around forever. You will learn at that moment that nothing true or pure lasts forever. A part of your innocence will die as you cradle your companion for the last time. If only you had goldfish and parents who lied to you about him instead.
You will think the worst is over, playgrounds will become a little less magical, danger will b
Rusty CageDon't perch me upon a cotton cloudRusty Cage2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Or quarter me by the country lake;
No fields of grain inspire me now,
Nor misty hues above the creek.
I have seen too many daffodils
And belle bluebells too pall my soul,
These mockingjays do not arouse
A drop of woe, a drip of joy.
Instead set me off upon a barge
Where the shadows meet, by day or night;
Off to a shade where silence unites
With her soundless charms of quietude.
And leave my haunt with little tint
A monochrome wind, a fickle farewell,
And write to me once every fortnight
From the confines of your recent grave.
And here let there be no robin's song,
No blackbird's lay, no warbler's hymn,
Leave me be in my rusty cage:
The throne of human creation.
Describe What We Have, He SaidWhat we have isDescribe What We Have, He Said4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a little bit of a fairytale,
a part of a story
and a taste of a slightly star crossed romance;
mixed in a half written sad song
written on pages of blue ink,
carried away in the wind.
it's a little broken,
but it's strong enough
to stand on it's own.
Just like us.
Let Them In.With my back to the doorLet Them In.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can’t help but fall to the floor
Out of breath, out of time
Out of sight, out of my mind
They’re tempting me; they lead astray
They mark my words; I am their prey
I can’t fight them anymore
So let them in and end this war
Leave me to my demons
Let them have at me
And strip me of my reasons
To ever be happy
I am broken enough
So that they fit in the cracks
I never wanted to be this
But now there’s no turning back
Let them take control
Because without you in my life
This is how a person like myself
Can ever become whole.
Life ItselfThe only time I smiled todayLife Itself2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Was when I thought of dying
And how good I am at lying
Each and every single day.
I've got a box of painkillers
They sleep right by my bed
For when all I see is red,
They'll numb it into darkest white.
I've tried talking to people,
But I can't word what I want to say
And maybe I like living this way,
Knowing that I'll die soon.
I know I'm self-destructive
My crosshatch skin screams it
But inside there's a little bit
That still aches to be saved.
I've tried before and I'll try again
To put my worthlessness away
But fate forced me to stay;
Death's a bitch like that.
Life makes me want to die
Yet it won't let me leave
Or grant me a reprieve
From that which it's made me hate;
Writer's block.A thirteen-year-old poet,Writer's block.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Whispers frolicking among her tongue
As a ballet dancer across a stage.
What to write, oh, what to write…
Her fingers wrapped around a pencil,
Gently tickling the page
With a language between herself
And her imagination.
Thoughts race through her mind,
Frozen hands on a silver clock
Turning moments into
D r e a d f u l h o u r s .
What to write, oh, what to write…
Crickets stop their chirping,
Birds start to sing.
Five thirty in the morning,
And not a single word on paper.
What to write, oh, what to write…
She begins to scribble across the page,
Doodles and anything that crosses her mind.
Words begin flooding her thoughts,
As she wrinkles the paper and grabs a clean sheet.
“A thirteen year old poet,
Whispers frolicking among her tongue
As a ballet dancer across a stage…"
And just as she nears the end
Of these words,
RivalryHis name is Jack. I know that usually, I don't disclose much to you. But Jack is someone I need to tell you about. I have known Jack my whole life. He's been a best friend to me when the concept of best friends was nothing but some candy, and who led the gang in the playground. Commitment was a pair of bicycles thrown on the lawn and a race to the spiced lemonade his mother made so well. When we were young, we knew we were going to conquer the world. The battle was always, who would conquer it first?Rivalry4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
Jack's father was an alcoholic. I will never forget that rainy afternoon when I opened the door to find him standing there, rain soaked tears streaming down his face and a red, harsh welt across his cheek. We stood there for what seemed like hours. We didn't speak at all that day. And after that, he was a different person. You see, Jack never had any siblings. I was his last remnant of childhood, his rival playground leader and yes, maybe even his best friend.
It was just his mother and hi
Forever LetterDear You,Forever Letter2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I've known you for a long time and I thought that we could tell
each other anything, but now I know it isn't true. I knew that
your condition was worsening, but I didn't know it was so bad.
I found out that you had cancer the other day. You tried to hide
it from me, but I found the chemo dates in that pocket in your
bag you thought hid everything from the world. From me. From
me, your only trusted person in the universe. And that's not all
Those chemotherapy dates were expired, past. You've been through
maybe six or seven tests now. And I talked to your doctor about
it and he told me that you have maybe three weeks left at most.
And I didn't cry when I came back because I knew that you would
know where I had been.
And there's only four days left. I've been visiting your doctor
every day and there's only four days left. I know you're getting
suspicious of me, but I can't help but feel the same. Why won't
you tell me? The birthday cake I made for you (chocolate, y
What's worse, loving the past or hating the futureAm I really?What's worse, loving the past or hating the future2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Am I really an angel who was too afraid to fly so I lost my wings, never to return home?
Or am I a demon standing on my own,
Whispering lies only to me since I'm so alone?
Am I really,
In Memory of Manu, a FriendI remember you.In Memory of Manu, a Friend2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Now approximately seven years have passed
And I still miss you painfully.
You were my age, not older.
Not very young anymore but much too young to die.
You have been a good friend to me in this short time
of about two years.
You shared with me your grief and your pain.
Everything what you had experienced.
I was there for you, day and night,
Whenever you needed someone to talk to.
No distance was too far.
I called you at any time.
If I could succeed,
I would make the birds sing for you,
Would bring you a candle,
Nearly I was at your home,
But I did not know where to find the cemetary and your grave.
But my thoughts of you need no
material or virtual grave.
Your image is always in front of my eyes.
The image of a vital young woman,
A mother of two children
Who smiled and was happy.
But doom did not want
That you could remove all the stones,
Lining your way or put into your way.
Doom took you away,
Because it knew that you would not endure a natural death.
It left no chanc
GLORIOUS Game Shows... an ABC adventure! A is for American Gladiators, a battle between strong and weak,GLORIOUS Game Shows... an ABC adventure!2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Ordinary athletes competed against superhuman freaks.
Hosted by Hulk Hogan and Muhammad Ali’s prize-fighting daughter,
It was a place to either succeed, or get slaughtered.
B is for Blockbusters, where letters formed the questions,
Like “Which S refers to a feeling of glum expression?”
Make a connection from top to bottom or left to right,
And I’ll tell you now, winning wasn’t far out of sight.
C is for Chamber, a game show quickly canned,
Such depraved torture, human rights be damned.
The pain inflicted would make you scream and cry,
For 100 grand, would you really bother to try?
D is for Deal or No Deal, a game of pure luck,
Pick your cases carefully, or you’ll never win a buck.
The banker is ruthless and will do anything he can,
To stop you walking away a very rich (wo)man.
E is for Exit List, presented by Matt Allwright,
Where it is crucial you get the questions right.
R.I.P R.I.PR.I.P2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"Rest in peace"
Or at least,
what we all think it means.
How may I rest, six feet under;
in a tomb?
Alone and cold, in soiled womb?
They said, after death,
"You have nothing to worry."
"Reside in purgatory"
Why bury me in damp grave?
So far away from heavens gates?
I feel the warmth, know it well.
Another half inch, I'd burn in hell.
But in this shell, lifeless; sedated.
Ironic you wanted me cremated.
Is this wrong? Or is this right?
jokes on me I guess that's life.
At least for some,
"Reveal in Paradise"
Losing my BreathIt's 2amLosing my Breath2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and the calling birds
are hatching in my heart,
I feel it crack and they emerge.
Feel them drilling on my ribs,
the steady anxious thrum
of a flight risk
waiting to happen.
and I can't breathe,
memories of you
are nesting in my throat
I can't work around them.
It's cutting off the circulation,
and my frantic heart
tries to keep on.
and tears scratch their directions
into my cheeks,
they flounder and meander
and they erode.
My skin and soul is scraped down
layer by layer
and another day is heralded
by the angry flutterings in my chest.
I try to swallow my pride,
dam the tears
and crawl through the dark again.
Coughing up blood
and inhaling iron filings
(The remainder of
what used to be my life).