Dear imagination, can't you be the thing you were
Butterflies and daffodils and happiness so pure
Sunny skies and lullabies and dreams of what could be
Hidden worlds and wonderlands of things they couldn't see
Shining gowns and silver crowns for dancing with the prince
Twirling with excitement, though the others weren't convinced

Dear intimidation, did you find it to be true
All I ever needed was an overdose of you
Silly stares and laughter slowly flood a child's mind
Making me abandon every daydream I could find
Lost beneath the shadows of the sky so dark and dead
Far too weak to turn around, yet scared of things ahead

Dear destructive tendencies, I feel it's time to hear
You were all I had when nothing else seemed to be near
Everything so out of reach, too far for me to see
I decided I would choose the needle next to me
Slicing through my very skin to feel something once more
Weeping through the satisfaction I could not ignore

Dear imagination, can't you be the thing you were?
Looking at that little girl... I know I should be her…

The sun melted into the glamorous sky
The moon stood there, hidden by sweet lullabies.

But mommy was crying, her day had been hard
The tears in her eyes twinkled just like the stars.

Her face wasn't happy like it should have been
And though she was saddened, she forcefully grinned.

I wanted to see Mommy smile through it all...
I painted a picture on her bedroom walls.

I told her to look, just to come in and see
But Mommy was angry... she wasn't happy.

She threw me down hard on the cold wooden floor
Then picked me up, slamming my head on the door.

She yelled and she screamed, then she hit me once more
She slapped me till I couldn't see anymore.

My heart then stopped beating, my laugh went unheard
Then Mommy got up without saying a word.

She looked at the walls splattered with my young blood
Then fell to the ground in her tears with a thud.

She looked at my face, then she looked all around
Then wrote on the walls with the first thing she found.

Then, after she finished, she wanted self harm....
She sat on the ground, putting me in her arms.

She reached for the knife she had placed on her bed
Then stabbed her own body... she cried as she bled.

The words on the wall echoed throughout the room...
"I love you so much, Mommy... get better soon!"

"Attention seeker."
As I slide the knife across my tongue
The poison resting in my lungs
Fighting till the war's been won
But you're right, this is all done for fun.

The rope around my neck as I pull it tight
The struggles I face as I die to fight
And slowly, I fade off into a dark night...
Goodbye, smiles, goodbye, light...
Dying, breaking, losing sight
Of all that's proper, all that's bright
With all my strength and all my might..
I mean, I do this for attention.. right?

I used to think make up
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.

I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.

I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.

I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.

What happened to being
Happy?

Who are you?
Where are you?
What... are you?

The blinding white walls
Closing in on you
Trapping you
Drowning you.

Who are you?

Certainly not
yourself.
Certainly not that
happy little girl
jumping through fairy tales
as a sunset paints the silver sky.

Where are you?
Certainly not
home.
Definitely not where
you'd want to be.

What are you?
Certainly not
wanted.
Obviously not
needed.

Blood, scars, wounds.
Pain.
Torture.

All you see are shadows
In a room of white walls...

Anorexic.
Obese.
Funny.
Stupid.
Idiotic.
Retarded.
Lame.
Emo.
Scene.
Slut.
Disgusting.
Attention seeker.
Obsessive.
Label.
Stereotype.
...
Me.

When I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted a prince.
I didn't want to be locked in a
Tower.
I didn't want to be fought by a
Wicked Witch.
I didn't want
This.

When I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted to be a princess.
I didn't want to watch a rose
Die.
I didn't want to wear the gown
Temporarily.
I wanted it
Forever.

See,
When I said I wanted a fairy tale...
I expected it to end in a
Happily
Ever
After.
But i never expected it to end like this.

I slid the blade across my wrist
Once
Twice
Again and again.

Maybe I’m an emotional freak.

I cause fights and arguments
Over
And over
Again.

Maybe I’m a troublemaker.

I use make up to make myself seem
Better
And…
Prettier.

Maybe I’m girly.

I complain about things
Even when sometimes
They’re not
That
Bad.

Maybe I’m an attention seeker.

I fall under so many
Stereotypes.

So maybe I am a label.

Or maybe
I’m just me.

All you see is the mistakes he made in the past,
But what I see is the way he treated me and my "family."
He was what I had,
Because I sure wasn't calling what I used to have a dad.
The history you were willing to throw away over a few of his mistakes.
But did you not see how much the little me needed someone like him?
He could of been the difference from now,
Wow.
Just think of it.
Maybe I wouldn't fucking hate men,
Maybe he would have been the one to believe me then.
Maybe he would of earned my trust,
But all you saw was that little mistake.
Not the improvement in my life he made,
And when he was sent away without a word said to me,
I began to shade in my world with dangerous ways,
That no child should ever be exposed to.
All of the things I would do,
And to think he could have helped me through it.
Anything would of helped.
A phone call, a letter, a visit.
But you didn't see it like that,
All you saw was an excon,
Not someone that could of saved your daughter.
But now the thought of any of this is slaughtered.

The face at the door is a demon, a god
He smiles through stitches, his stare rather odd
The face at the door is a cruel, silent being
Yet, people are calm, and the children aren't fleeing
Quiet yourself, for you're the only one
Crying for help at the point of a gun
Learn how to fly, rather, learn how to fall,
The face at the door... well... there's no face at all.