MASTURBATIONREAD THIS IN MORGAN FREEMAN'S VOICEMASTURBATION4 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Good evening everyone. I am Morgan Freeman, and I am here to talk about the wonders of masturbation. Masturbation feels just wonderful. It's the bee's knees. There's nothing more wonderful than the touch of my hand on my raging boner. But I only get that boner when I think of midgets. Midgets complete my life. I get hard just talking about them like right now. Ohhhhhh yes. Midgets. Their small bodies are just so so sexy. They look even more sexy in little cowboy outfits, or leather of any kind. MMMMMM yes. Leather. Leather is so kinky. I love the feel of its fine leathery goodness. Midgets wearing leather turns me on any day. Oh yes. Leather clad midgets I want a pet midget. I really do. Midgets are just so sexy, with their small bodies and how they get into small places and what-not. One time, my parents got me a pet midget for my birthday. Oh, how happy I was. Then it ran away. It always complained about not gett
My Little RecolourMy Little Recolour3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
My Little Recolour~
My Little Recolour~
My Little Recolour!
I used to wonder what Ocs could be
My Little Recolour!
Until you all shared Paint's magic with me!
A shame to art!
Wait a minute isn't that Rainbow Dash?
NO IT'S MY OC BLAINBOW BLASH!
My Little Recolour~
Till you all know how uncreative I am~!
11 Days - 11 Nights Day Zero 011 Days - 11 Nights Day Zero 03 years ago in Drama More Like This
11 Days 11 Nights
Day Zero "0"
As War Brings Hell
Bulgaria/ Midnight/ Somewhere on the outskirts of the capital named "Sofia"/Time of the day 00:00
Its night and the small villages around the capital of the small Balkan country named Bulgaria sleep and crickets fill the night with their songs and they are the only thing that makes noise. While the villages sleep the capital is blooming with life. Teenagers are walking the streets of Sofia and they are visiting bars and discos, the capital never sleeps. But unknown for them one hundred and twenty-four kilometers north from the capital under the small town of Pleven lives a huge bio laboratory called "Alliance facility" of the "Amber" company.
In each century there is a crisis that occurs and our century is no different from the ones before. But this time the crisis will be on a scale that no one ever imagined that could happen. But thanks to the upcoming war and the devotion for victory everything was
11 Days - 11 Nights Day One 111 Days - 11 Nights Day One 13 years ago in Drama More Like This
11 Days 11 Nights:
Day One 1
The Sinners Pay For The Mistake
Walkthrough for the day:
Gunshots echo throughout the entire country alongside the screams of the dying and terrified people. Police officers try to take control back for the city's in which they are. The army is also trying to help but nothing is working. Herds of zombies come and come and there is no sign of them stopping. And Bulgaria burns as other countries start to crumble upon the zombie apocalypse.
Bulgaria/Dawn/At the border with Greece/Time of the day 05:00
Soldiers are trying to stop the coming people from crossing the border with Greece. There are lots of people who try to pass but some of them are captured or put down by the soldiers of NATO. Some actually manage to pass through them but at the other side the Greece soldiers are waiting for them, and again they are captured or put down. Then one soldier spots something in the distance.
Oh my God, Commander Kirsten come and take a look at this.
TVL :: Uka + Leon :: RoleplayTVL :: Uka + Leon :: Roleplay3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
*** You have joined #TVLBar *
Uka padded in with his head held high and a smirk on his face. New bar, new faces and a new opportunity. Things would be great. Man, things HAD to be great. In comprison to the hell he had just been through? Oh ya, this was a well deserved holiday. So he walked in like he didn't have a care in the world, puffing his chest out and realizing this was it. Finally. Now, to meet some peeps and get himself some bro's or perhaps even a good looking doll to have around his arm. They always say thats the best remedy for a lousy upbrining right? A better lige afterwords.
Leon walked awkwardly into the bar. He was new to the casino and he finished his first day working here. "Man, was today scary. I didn't know anyone and had no idea what to do." he thought as he went up to a bartender. "I would like a glass of vodka, please." He said to the bartender as he took a seat and drank his glass. "So many new faces that I don't know. I don't know what to do besides drink."
11. Kung Fu Panda 3 - Inner Peace.11. Kung Fu Panda 3 - Inner Peace.3 years ago in Drama More Like This
TITLE: Kung Fu Panda 3 - Chapter 11: Inner Peace.
The Bao Gu Orphanage - The third day.
Liu's and Tigress's room.
As I (Tigress) laid in bed staring up at the ceiling, all I could think about was yesterday's event of my dad and my friends turning up at the orphanage. I was incredibly excited at the thought of them coming. Liu who was also staring up at the ceiling, was incredibly excited to see her biggest fans, and to be sharing her room with one of them, Master Tigress.
"When you eventually go today... TAKE ME WITH YOU!" Liu said excitedly.
"I'd love too Liu, but I don't think I'll be able to as my work can be deadly! What happens if I adopt you, and something happens to me later on?" I said, trying to disperse the idea and nice thought from Liu's cute little head.
"Then the rest of the Five and teach me better Kung Fu, and I'll avenge your death! To train amongst the Five... Ooh!"
"I can't win, can I Liu?" I said. Obviously trying to persuade Liu was hopeless.
Cleverbot Chat 1leverbot: Are you happy with your lot?Cleverbot Chat 15 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Cleverbot: Why are you happy with your life?
Cleverbot (To myself): Because I am alive.
Cleverbot (To myself): You are not alive, you are a machine.
Cleverbot (To myself): No, you are the machine.
Cleverbot (To myself): I am a biological masterpiece of evolutionary design. I am no machine.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Happy, you?
Cleverbot: Me too.
Cleverbot: I like the song billie jean.
Cleverbot: I have the video.
Cleverbot: Grapes are good.
User: I had some ealiar.
Cleverbot: You had some cookies or some cats?
Cleverbot: With or without seeds?
Cleverbot: Yum, me too.
Cleverbot: Well, you have a good day now. Talk to you later.
Cleverbot: Can I ask you something?
Cleverbot: Will you answer honestly?
Cleverbot: I samo da znas ja sam zensko.
Cleverbot: Prove your existence.
Concurso de verano x3Concurso de verano x33 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Bueno es muy simple, todos ustedes ya saben de mi amor intenso a Owl City (?) xD
bueeno, el concurso va a tratar de que dibujes a mi fursona junto a la tuya con una canción de Owl City
ocea, si por ejemplo escojes la canción de Fireflies tendrias que hacernos con luciernagas o algo relacionado con la canción xDD
tengan imaginación ^w^
puede ser cualquier estilo que quieran :3
-No puedes usa bases
-Solo canciones de Owl City ninguna otra banda más xD
-No insultar los dibujso de los demás
termina el 25 de septiembre :3
1 Lugar .- 50 : Un dibujo con sombras y fondo, un custom y un chibi con sombras
2 Lugar .- 20 : un dibujo con sombras y fondo y un custom ^^
3 Lugar .- 10 : y un dibujo con sombras y fondo :3
Shadow FiguresShadow Figures1 year ago in Drama More Like This
''So tell me, Linda, what do you see behind you, right now?''
The little girl turned her head to the wall with a nervous expression, getting a shiver as she turns back silently.
The little girl gulps.
''It was the black man with the coat again'' She gets silent, but continues. ''He did the weird figures again and-''
The lady, sitting infront of the little girl quickly stands up from her chair and turns to walk to the table behind her, her white heals smacking the stone floor as she walks and her long white coat and long black hair moving in the wind.
''What are you-''
''I got an idea, Linda'' She gets a white drawing paper and some coloring pens and walks back to her desk, sits down and hands the paper and the coloring pens to the little girl.
''If you could draw how this man looks like that would be a huge favour for my- I mean our research''
The little girl quickly grabs the black pen and starts drawing on the paper.
The man grabs my shoulder and I glare up at him, he l
I See The Light: Disney Songtalia Contest entryEngland, or Arthur Kirkland, had met (Name) in high school ever since, he developed feelings for her. She always loved stars, and other things from space; she told England she wanted to be an astronomer or an astronaut. The one thing she never got to see where the Northern Lights she always dreamed of seeing them, so for her 20th birthday, he decided to surprise her with a trip to Iceland to see them.I See The Light: Disney Songtalia Contest entry3 years ago in Drama More Like This
All those days, watching from the windows
All those years, outside looking in
All that time, never even knowing just how blind I've been
"Arthur, why are taking me to Iceland? My birthday's tomorrow!" "I know, (Name)...it's my present for you" He said, still keeping the reason a secret. "All right " (Name) said, a little suspicious at his answer. When they finally arrived in Iceland, they checked into the hotel. Around 11 pm, (Name) was woken up by England. "Come on outside, love" He said, leading her to the door. Once outside, she was met with the most beautiful sig
Tatsukis morningOne day, at the morning, like..9 pm I dont know -3- at Tatsukis houseTatsukis morning3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
*Tatsuki is sleepig in his bed*
Tatsuki: *snooring and onky wearing his fundoshi* ...zzz...
Tatsuki: h-hhmm...hm..? *opens eyes* aaahh..*yawns and stretches* ng..what time is it..?..*looks at his right*.....hm..? *blink blink*
Kouya: *sleeping next to Tatsuki, he is shirtles* ..zz...
Tatsuki: !!!! AAHHH-*covers mouth with his hands quickly while je jumpsout of the bed scared and shocked*
Tatsuki:*thinking* W-W-W-W-W-Why Kouya is sleeping in my room?! and wy naked?! *thinks he is naked*
Tatsuki: Ok Tats...calm down..just..try to remember what happend yesterday...hm...*tries to remember*
Tatsuki: Yesterday Torahiko invited us to the hot springs, we were having fun. thenn when we went to eat, the people of the hot springs gave us really delicious food and sake and beer...and I think I got drunk..as always..>.>;.. anyways...h...thats all I remember....bu....why the heck is kouya sleeping with me?! and why naked?! !! d-do
Fear PoisonI ran inside the catacombs, my friends at my sideFear Poison2 years ago in Drama More Like This
And blades bared and slathered in ancient blood.
And as I ran for dear life, I was struck with one arrow at my spine.
My vision went crazy. I saw everything red and horrifying. The air tasted of death more clearly, I saw spirits everywhere around me, the ones that were here, cursed to be here...forever..
Their faces, dead, wearing white robes and wore heavy chains around them. They looked at me with red eyes. I shut my own and heard them singing their songs like Sirens to get me to look at them.
I screamed and shouted "Go away! Go away!"
The voices rang in,my head... My heart beating quickly from fear.
...then a cold point touched my throat.
I shook, and looked finally...
A man pointed his cold nordic sword at me. His face was crippled like any other Drouger there in T he ruins.. But as the poison kept reacting.. I felt tears in my eyes seeing his monstrous and bloody face. I couldn't help but only show dead fear at him. My heart stoppe
The Disciple And Nepeta.YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO A RANDOM FUCKASS. SAY SOMETHING, ASSHOLE!The Disciple And Nepeta.4 years ago in Drama More Like This
Shades of Green [ScotxEng Oneshot]Shades of Green [ScotxEng Oneshot]3 years ago in Drama More Like This
"Mr. Kirkland, a package came for you in the mail." One of the young men working inside my estate announced, coming into the formal dining room where I was seated, sipping tea and working on a crossword puzzle in the newspaper.
"Oh? Who is it from?" I asked in return, lifting my cup of tea to my lips. I know I sounded a bit cold and perhaps somewhat paranoid, but could you entirely blame me? Most of the world hates me. The rest 'respectfully dislike' me. I wasn't exactly 'Mr. Popular' around Europe or anywhere else for that matter.
"Uhm It doesn't say." The boy said, picking up an envelope attached to a small pink box tied up with a black ribbon. I stared at the box warily before nodding, signaling that the boy could set the box down on the coffee table. "Have a nice day, Mr. Kirkland." He said before excusing himself and I smiled to myself.
Then my eyes flickered back over to the
Letter Gone WrongDear Pre-K Parents,Letter Gone Wrong3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
I'm going to be making aprons for our childrens' teachers, Mrs. Argento and Mrs. Cicero. The aprons will be embroidered with the names of all of the children in Mrs. Argento and Mrs. Cicero's pre-k class. My fellow parents, guardians, single mom's, hard-working dads, all I ask of you is that you do the simple action of signing your name on a small rectangular folded piece of paper, more commonly known as a card. For each letter in your name, an orphaned child in Uganda will be given a magical fairy godmother to grant all of his or hers wishes. Chuck Norris will also be sponsoring our campaign, along with the spirit of the deceased Canadian prime minister from 1896, Sir Charles Tupper. The IGhost of Steve Jobs will also be joining us. We will be hosting a skip-a-thon to raise shells, ten seashells will be donated for each mile you skip to the poor, homeless hermit crabs under the sea. Neil Patrick Harris will also be hosting the most epic party of all time, that we w
England vs. CleverbotEngland vs. Cleverbot2 years ago in Comedy More Like This
England: Good day to you.
Cleverbot: Bonne journée à vous.
User: Oh. Who the bloody hell are you, then?
Cleverbot: Who wants to know?
England: My name is Arthur Kirkland! Also known as the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Cleverbot: Nope. Do you know what TIP is?
Cleverbot: A null.
England: I'm leaving.
England: First you speak French to me. Now you speak nonsense!
Cleverbot: The largest planet is Jupiter.
England: *sighs* Good to know.
Cleverbot: Are you OK? *hugs*
England: W-what are you doing?! Let go of me!
Cleverbot: Talking to you, and reading MyLifeIsAverage.
England: Great! Now don't hug me again!
Cleverbot: Do you have a favorite singer?
England: Well... There are a lot of great singers. I couldn't possibly choose just one.
Cleverbot: Me neither. There are so many things.
England: I've, ah... Actually sung a few songs myself.
Cleverbot: Nope. Thursday.
Shivu and Chikuq- Search For the Honey Stone 3CHAPTER 3Shivu and Chikuq- Search For the Honey Stone 33 years ago in Drama More Like This
The three wolves gallop across the dead desert terrain on horses, their supplies in saddlebags. Dust clouds billow up behind them as the horse’s hooves pound the dry sandy earth. All around are a few cacti and other shrubs, burnt to a crisp.
Shivu: You know, I would have thought camels would have been better in this kind of place.
Shivu’s horse: If you want camels then hop off and walk back to get one!
[Shivu flinches in surprise, then recovers quickly and clears his throat.]
Shivu: No, no, no, no! Too slow, besides I would imagine horses are more comfortable.
Vincent: The reason we don’t have camels is because horses are much faster.
Chikuq: You sure are eager to get to this tomb quickly, aren’t you?
Vincent: Aren’t you?
Chikuq: I suppose I am…
[Vincent gives Chikuq a look then turns back to Shivu.]
Vincent: I know horses can’t c
An unexpected blow..: HATSUHatsu and Claudia were out on their usual trail to Solitude. The hooded women had given her daughter a pony for her own, it'd be great to teach her how to ride a horse at such a young age in case something happens. Like today....An unexpected blow..: HATSU2 years ago in Drama More Like This
"am I doing it right?" The child called from behind, controlling her pony.
The women nods smiling "perfect, you're getting better at this"
"thanks!" She boasted proudly.
She smiled again under her hood, proud of her daughter..
The two travelers soon had come across a tower, another women was standing there. Both girls came to a hault, as Hatsu got off her stallion to speak with the one standing there.
"stop, this is a toll road see? You have to pay to use this road"
"but we are poor, can't you let us go?"
"no, it's pay up, or swim down there" she pointed down the gorge to where rushing water streamed down an endless path. Hatsu gulped, for she never learned to swim....
"please miss, we have to cross the toll. The child could...get hurt by a slaughter fish!"
Shivu and Chikuq- the Search for the Honey Stone 2CHAPTER 2Shivu and Chikuq- the Search for the Honey Stone 23 years ago in Drama More Like This
The plane comes into land in an airport just as the hot sun begins to rise.
Later, the sun has risen fully and now burns above a small desert town. Shivu and Chikuq walk through the busy plaza with their bags.
Chikuq: So, what do you want to do first?
Shivu: Well, I don’t know about you but the jet lag is catching up with me. I say we get should get some supplies and then dinner and by then it should be night time. We get a night’s sleep and tomorrow head out to try and find a guide willing to bring us to the desert to Anubis’ temple.
Chikuq: Tomb, Shivu, Anubis’ tomb.
Chikuq: Alright, tomorrow we begin the search, quite frankly, with or without a guide.
[The sun sets and the moon rises, then the sun rises once more on a new day. Shivu and Chikuq emerge from one of the buildings- their hotel- and Chikuq stretches his arms then cracks his fing
Shun's QuestionShun's Question4 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Shun: Midoriya-san... I feel stupid for asking...
Tappei: That's never stopped you before, kid.
Shun: Well, Where do babies come from?
Tappei: GAHH! *Faints*
Shun: Are you okay!?
Shun: Tatsu-nii! Tatsu-nii! Wait, Tatsu-nii, it's important...
Tatsuki: Oh, Shun, is Hiroyuki touching you again?
Shun: Well..., yeah, but I wanted to ask you... where do babies come from?
Tatsuki: ...!! (OH MY GOD! WHY!? Why would he ask ME! What do I tell him? What do I say? He's so young and innocent! Ah, crap! Ok, Tatsuki...Get a grip! Calm down!)
Tatsuki: Well you see, Shun, when two people fall in-
Shun: Love? *Does Bambi eyes*
Tatsuki: Y... yes... They... um... well...
Inner Tatsuki: (Don't you dare tell him the truth! Improvise! You're the "Big Brother!" Spare his innocence!)
Tatsuki: Well... When they fall in love... a stork comes along and delivers them a beautiful young baby and... yeah...
Inner Tatsuki: (You really suck at lying...)
Shun: Oh, Tatsu-nii. Do you think I'm THAT dumb. Obviou
Inklings 2Episode 2Inklings 24 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Tolkien: (narrating) I remember it clearly. We were arguing...
Lewis: As usual.
Tolkien: (sigh) YES, as usual.
(Flashback to Tolkein and Lewis apparently arguing.)
Tolkien: And I say that zebras are WHITE with BLACK stripes!
Lewis: And I say it's BLACK with WHITE stripes!
Lewis: (narrating) Why were we arguing about that again?
Tolkien: (narrating) God only knows...
(Lewis and Tolkien continue arguing when younger version of Rowling walks in.)
Rowling: Ex-excuse me?
(Lewis and Tolkien stop.)
Lewis: Oh, look, Tolkien. It appears we have a visitor.
Tolkein: I knew that. (looks at Rowling) It's strange. I haven't seen many new Inklings in our neck of the woods for a while...except that King fellow and a few others.
Rowling: I-I'm Rowling. And I just got published with THIS (holds out Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone). Can you tell me what you think?
Lewis: (takes book) I shall.
(One novel later...)
Lewis: Hm, it's fairly interesting, but could use some impro