Bipolar DisorderLook over your shoulder. They're watching you.
Tighten your stomach muscles.
Bounce your leg up and down.
"Are you okay?"
Don't say anything.
Feel it, feel the thoughts melting from your mind.
"What are you doing?"
They're behind you.
Kill them before they kill you.
Please save me.
Crazy. You're crazy.
No one wants you.
Pull the trigger.
"Please tell me what's wrong."
You wouldn't understand.
"Who are you? I don't know you anymore."
I'm a nobody.
I am Bipolar Disorder.
... "I don't know."
::Some words of advice::Maybe this is just for my own personal review later on down the line but I just thought to post this. This may jump around a bit and I apologize for that. I've written parts of this at different intervals so, heh, sorry if it's hard to follow completely. I'll edit it eventually.::Some words of advice::1 year ago in Personal More Like This
As an artist our aim is to create.
Our goal is to envision and then usually visually invent things from our own mind's eye and as such we often overlook the fact that not every mind thinks the same as our own.
Everyone has their own unique imagination with is fabricated and cultivated by our own live's unique experiences, events, and past. Now, while those things may be similar in nature at their core, no one event is the same for every person.
As such we have to realize that despite how much we want to, we cannot ever please everyone's tastes with our work.
It's not because there's persnickety people or that another artist is better than we are at our chosen
Depression"It's not real" -- It sure as heck feels real. So real it IS my reality on a daily basis.Depression2 years ago in Personal More Like This
"It's just an excuse to get out of doing things that other people have to" -- I'd love to do thing other people are doing, and I'd relish in being happy when I do so.
"You're just a little sad, you'll get over it" -- Depression isn't just 'feeling sad sometimes'... it's feeling sad ALL the time for what seems like no reason at all.
"Just grow up! Everyone is depressed, you just have to deal with it like everyone else!" -- Stop using everyone else to justify your insensitivity to other people's conditions (also, most of the people suffering from depression are adults, you don't get much more 'grown up' than adult).
"You're not suffering from anything, you're just lazy, ungrateful, and being silly" -- Ok, because obviously I LOVE feeling miserable, worthless, and stupid all the time...who wouldn't...?
"Stop using that as an excuse to not do anything." -- If I could manage to do something a
My existence...Well I guess it's time for me to rant about my failures in life. Sounds like a good thing to do. I'm going to number my failures in the past 24 hours to help you realize how dumb i truly am. Enjoy, oh glorious watchers of mine.My existence...1 year ago in Personal More Like This
1) I woke up this morning and saw my shadow on the wall. Naturally, I panic. Naturally, I have a muscle spasm because i freaked out. So I punched myself in the face. Strike one for Mikki.
2) After this beautiful moment of my own abuse toward my face, I walk into the kitchen to get food. I find food, I eat food. I enjoyed the food. And suddenly A;JBG;KSDJGB;SKDJGBS. my fork scrapes the plate. One of the worst sounds, i'd say. So I started choking on my last bite of burrito. I survived, though. Wooooohoo.
3) i ran into a door. A closed, clearly visible door.
4) I nearly dropped my glasses in the toilet. I didn't, because of my SUPER FAST NINJA SKILLS OF DOOM THAT YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE AWESOMENESS OF, but i almost did. and that's bad enough.
5) i also fell asle
.i don't believe.1 year ago in Personal More Like This
that if you can dream it
you can do it,
cos i once dreamt that
i killed atlas,
i tore him limb from limb and then
i stabbed the globe he held,
and sometimes i get sad
about the children in the world
who will choke on all the words
that they'll never learn to speak,
and there's a baby somewhere gargling
the meaning of his life,
and he's a little bit upset that you
keep wiping it
(i have no words for you)
While we're on the subject of dumb kids......in Chinese school there was this sixth grader named Sunny. What's sad is that he's actually a pretty smart kid, but he decided to become this dumb douche. His favorite insult? Yo momma jokes. Yeah. :IWhile we're on the subject of dumb kids...1 year ago in Personal More Like This
One day he said in this cocky voice, "My mom had a master's degree!"
I said, "That's nice."
"Did your mom get a master's degree?"
"Hah! Your mom didn't get a master's degree and mine did!"
I restrained the urge to slap him. Respectable eighth graders don't slap ignorant sixth graders. "So?"
"It means that I'm more likely to get a master's degree than you!"
WHAT A FUCKING DUMBASS. I FELT SO PISSED. SO I DELIVERED THIS ULTIMATE SMACKDOWN. "Are you sure your name is Sunny? Because you don't seem too bright."
He gave me this totally bewildered look, because shots had been fired right then and there. "...Yo momma has diarrhea!" he declared.
I wasn't done with him yet. "So? Diarrhea is a medical condition, it's not a subject of shame or mockery-"
"Shut up, dictionary."
"I think the mor
Tip of the Day: TimeTip of the Day: Not all time in life is equal. Some moments count much more than others.Tip of the Day: Time2 years ago in Personal More Like This
Sending positive vibes to you all!
Staying Strong...Not the easiest thing in the world. -.-Staying Strong...2 years ago in Personal More Like This
I basically wanted to make this journal to let you guys know... That I have horrible days too. We're all in this together... Keeping each other optimistic, keeping each other strong.
And I promise to be there for you guys (And I hope you guys are there for me too!) even through the hardest of all times.
I want you guys to know that YOU HAVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU, and pssst!! ... i'm one of them
I hope you guys are staying beautiful and wonderful <3 and hey, you're amazing, remember that.
So yeah. I'm not having the best day... But I hope you are having the best day ever
Some Simple AdviceBizzarely, as if the universe just went 'okay people - ask now!' Just in one day today ive has so many pm's from various boards and whatnot from young / new artists asking me about what the secret is, how do I get better, what can i do, or i wish i could make stuff like you.Some Simple Advice3 years ago in Personal More Like This
My advice is actually pretty simple. I gaurantee if you do this repeatedly everything else will take care of itself.
Step 1: Make some time for making art.
Step 2: Get everything prepared before hand, drinks, snacks, music - whatever you need to see you through the next couple of hours for your personal art jam.
Step 3: Unplug your internet.
Step 4: Make art.
I think too many people, especially young artists trying to find their way are looking too hard for something that doesnt even exist. Theres no secret formula, no awesome serum to drink. Just sit down and make art, and keep doing that over and over and over.
Free yourself of burden and distraction for that hour or couple of hours and just do it. Thats all it i
Be yourself. Because you're awesome!Consider this as a follow up of my last journal about getting pageviews.Be yourself. Because you're awesome!1 year ago in Deviant Events More Like This
While the majority of the people reacted very positively towards the tips & tricks I shared, there were also some very hostile reactions that ideas like that would encourage you to be something you're not.
I'd like to elaborate on that.
First of all, these tips are basically science.
I didn't just randomly think them up. Most of the points are things that have been proven through marketing- and usability research. This whole marketing thing, however, is a field many artists are for some reason unfamiliar with, so people don't take it into account when wondering why they don't get the exposure they think they deserve. They often undeserving think it's their art that sucks, and that's a shame.
The reason I post this stuff, is mainly because I want people to know.
What you do with it, is
New Update June 2014Hey and welcome to the group of emotion-lists.New Update June 20142 years ago in Personal More Like This
Here will various emoticons be listed made by various deviants and which isn't listed in the standard emoticons list.
Anyone can come up with suggestions, much appreciated
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Example: Type : thumb17622426 : without the spaces
The ability to place thumbnails in comments are limited to Premium Memberships and is limited to a maximum of 5. All members can add Official and Community emoticons to their comments without limit. (like this journal for example)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Thumbs: (Premium Users only in comments)
painting video demonstrationpainting video demonstration4 years ago in Personal More Like This
so here is a new one
its about exracting lineart from background layer, after you scanned/had your image flattened down.
on this one i actuall managed to fingure how note tool works so i am actually writing as im demonstrating things
go here---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ch0bBrCwc8&featurelcp
also check my husbands tutorials, they are at the bottom of the journal also newly added
finally as promised i made a video demonstration about painting a picture in photoshop.
i started from scratch, made a sketch in photoshop and from there started painting. for the overall image it took me 3 hrs so i was rushing a bit, so please exuse anatomiocal mistakes.
Also, i started off with only basic brushes, and i made advanced ones as the video progressed. that way i wanted to show you various purpose for different brushes and how to use them.
i didnt put any text in this demonstration, since this is just for viewing the process, but i plan on making shorter - mo
Tip of the Day: Believing is not DoingTip of the Day: A lot of times people might ask for advice and when they are told the answer, their reaction is "Oh I know that already." Believing in something isn't the same as acting upon what you believe in. Successful people DO the things they know they should do whether they like it or not.Tip of the Day: Believing is not Doing3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Sending positive vibes to you all!
Writing Tournament 2013 ~ Round ICome one and come all, raise your pen take part in this grand literary battle! There are subscriptions, points, and more to be won! You all have until February 19th to enter.Writing Tournament 2013 ~ Round I3 years ago in Personal More Like This
The time is nigh for the Third Annual Writers--club Literature Tournament!
This is a tournament for all writers welcoming prose and poetry! It will be a grand competition spanning three rounds of literary challenge! First of all, you must be willing to write for each of the rounds over the coming months.
There will be judging at the end of each round and those who progress to the next round will have to write a new piece for the next round's theme. A new participants list with the surviving writers will be released upon the announcement of the new round.
To sign up, join the group as a member and add this blog entry to your favorites. From there, feel free to submit your entry to the Tournament Round 1 Folder.
Round I Theme: Immin
One time I had this substitute in elementaryAnd we were reading this book in class.One time I had this substitute in elementary1 year ago in Personal More Like This
She was talking about how if we didn't know what a word meant we could use the context of the passage.
This kid asked, "What does 'venison' mean?"
The old lady said, "Who can tell me what that word means?"
So I raised my hand and said, "It means 'deer meat.'"
But then she asked, "How do you know?"
I got really confused. "I... um... saw that word in another book?"
"Did you use the context of the passage?"
The passage literally was something like "The soup had maize, venison, and all sorts of vegetables in it"
So I said, "No."
AND THEN THE OLD LADY WAS ALL "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO USE THE CONTEXT OF THE PARAGRAPH YOU CAN'T JUST GUESS WHAT THE WORD MEANS YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE CORRECT."
"Well the dictionary said that venison meant 'deer meat'..."
"Well you won't always have a dictionary at hand. That's why you have to learn how to use the context of the story!"
What a perfect example of the American school system, am I right?
Tip of the day: ImprovementTip of the day: Dedicate yourself to continuous improvement as if your future depends on it.. because it does.Tip of the day: Improvement3 years ago in Personal More Like This
.:Commissions Information:.COMMISSION STATUS: OPEN.:Commissions Information:.3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Types, Examples And Prices (USD)
Only shows the upper half of character(s).
Includes detail, color and background.
Digital or traditional.
From $230 to $250
(Depending on complexity)
Full-body character (s).
Has detail, color, and simple/elaborate background depending on request.
Digital or traditional.
From $280 to $300
(Depending on complexity)
Full-body character (s) in a blank or co
Being a miserable artist = being a bad artist.I recently felt it being one of the most important things, not just for an artist; being happy with what you do. No one wants to get up every morning thinking.. shit .. another work day. Of course there can be days, maybe even a full week of that, but the majority of your time you should be feeling content and happy even.Being a miserable artist = being a bad artist.1 year ago in Personal More Like This
With that lack of love and enthusiasm it is most likely reflected into your work.
Now it's not always your own fault that your work doesn't make you happy and doesn't feed your creative monster. But it can be in these cases.
You make your OWN workday miserable when:
If you don't speak your mind and stand up for your opinion and values.
If you're not open minded regarding feedback and new techniques.
:buletblue: If you don't aim for improvement. (though aiming for perfecting all the time can be stressful)
when you allow yourself to work under stressful circumstances for too long.
Tip of the Day: WorriesTip of the day: Most of your worries never happen. Time to concentrate on what u want instead of what u don't want.Tip of the Day: Worries3 years ago in Personal More Like This
How to become more noticed on art sites!There are many times that I see people complain about not being noticed, but it doesn’t seem like they are doing much to get noticed, other than posting art. Sometimes not even much art.How to become more noticed on art sites!2 years ago in Personal More Like This
I will explain several things I’ve learned over the years. Also note I’m still trying to get more noticed as well!
You can try a few of these or all of these! The more you do, the higher the chance you’ll become more noticed at a faster rate!
Keep posting art! Lots of art!
Watchers love to see some art every week or so. If you go a month or more without posting art, you may lose some watchers.
Keep getting better at art!
DON’T stop trying to improve! Always try to get better! Watchers do notice this, and from my experience they find it a fun thing to watch. This one goes with the first piece of advice too: just keep on posting your art.
If you like it, draw porn! (FA ONLY)
It’s no surprise that “sex sells”. Many people love to see porn on Fur Affinity, so
Commission Info ( Commissions closed)For now I only offer these two types (you recieve a LARGE high res jpg or png..much larger than what is posted on Deviantart):Commission Info ( Commissions closed)4 years ago in Personal More Like This
3/4 character with simple background ~ $250
2 characters with simple background ~ $350
I can also add in a more complicated background depending on the context of the picture. Example:
Details or extra cost can be discussed in private note.
I can do full length characters as well, I feel 3/4 is the best to see whats going on, but I have no problem with drawing head to toe pics.
* Very detailed props/weapons add +$20
*other very time-consuming details s
How to Become a Better Artist in 1 minuteAlright. I've wanted to do this for a while but never really had the balls. (huur. balls. XP just thought Id get it out before everybody else and their mother's uncle's monkey did).How to Become a Better Artist in 1 minute6 years ago in Art Features More Like This
Chances are you're here for one of a few reasons:
1) You were attracted by the title
2) You're here to prove me wrong
3) A combination of the above
4) You're an idiot
Well, in all honestly, I can assure you, you WILL be a better artist after you read this article.
Now, before I get started, I want to explain the purpose of this article. Its not a tutorial, its not me telling you what to do, its not 'OMG! I CAN HAZZZ FREE SKILLLZZZZZ?!?!?!!11one!!!' no no and NO! I suppose you could call it some suggestions. When ever I ask people 'how do you get so good?!' or 'do you have any tips??' All I ever really get is ' practice' ' practice' 'FFFFFFF PRACTICE NOOB!' But fact is, that isn't all there is to it. So what I'm hoping to do is go
Winter Livestream SessionAnother livestream:https://new.livestream.com/accounts/4755401/events/2612059/statuses/36954135Winter Livestream Session2 years ago in Personal More Like This
staring in few minutes.
This time more casual, just doing a few speed paint portraits or character design : )
.my grandfather.1 year ago in Personal More Like This
says tall girl, i'm not gonna
be here in time, and
tall girl, when i can't remind
you no more, please remember
how far you've come,
considering, please remember
how far you've grown
I did a thing!I told you guys I was going to do it, and I did.I did a thing!2 years ago in Personal More Like This
It's my graduation/Christmas present to myself.
My emotions are all over the place; I can't stop crying.
This means so much to me.
I suppose I'll write up a better explanation and story behind this later. I just feel like I'm floating right now.
Dear Poetry isn't just my username, it means too much to me to be only that. Poetry has honestly saved my life. Sometimes people ask me where I would be if I wasn't writing, and I tell them dead. There has been so much wrong in my life, and always kept it so hidden before someone told me to write it all down.
And last night, everything just seemed to click together. It was spur of the moment, and I walked into this tattoo parlor only seeking a price quote. The owner asked me how much I had on me, and personally did my tattoo for 25 dollars. I wanted to cry right then and there because he was being so nice to me. I think he could tell how much this simple tattoo meant to me. A