FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: call your parents mr./ mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: call your parents DAD/ MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: will help you when you fall.
REAL FRIENDS: will jump on top of you.

FAKE FRIENDS: say "love ya" jokingly.
REAL FRIENDS: say "I love you" and they mean it.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will sit with you after a breakup and say "I'm sorry"
REAL FRIENDS: Will call them and ask what their problem is before devising a plan to destroy them.

FAKE FRIENDS: will read this.
REAL FRIENDS: will steal this.
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There are some people who are getting too fake here on dA. They only want posts, comments, or to see how many friends they can get. So let's see who will actually re-post this. This is a test to see who's paying attention. This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention. Copy and re-post in your own bulletin. Lets see who the true friends are... Re-post this if you are a friend... Don't reply... Just copy and paste this in a new journal as "Fake Friends."

People say depression is just a state of mind.
Just a state of being.
Well they're wrong.
Depression isn't a life style,
Or a CHOICE.
It's an emptiness.
A part of you missing.
You wake up,
Feeling like you got no sleep at all.
You lay down,
Hoping to drown your misery with peaceful dreams.
You cry everyday,
Not knowing why life is this way.
You wonder everynight,
Why you have to be the one who suffers.
So why even bother to "help us"?
There's nothing you can do.
There's nothing you can do to "help us."
So Just STOP trying.
You're waisting your time.

Self-harm isn't always about harming yourself physically.
Very often it's also about mental harm, in some cases all about mental harm.

I for one have never ever cut myself, even though I've played with the thought.
But for many years I've harmed myself with my own mind.
Digging deep mental holes in which I tried to bury myself when I couldn't handle all the chaos going on.

A lot of times I've harmed myself by forcing myself to not make myself heard when what I really needed was someone to speak to.
Ignored friends when they tried to reach out and help me. And then coming back and begged for help just to repeat the same damn mistake over and over again.

I don't do shit like that very often anymore. But sometimes I just can't do any better than close every possible way into my heart and mind, and just shut everyone out. Even close friends that I care about. They who care about me.

In the long run, and most of the time in the short run too, it's nothing else but self destructive. Obviously I need to make tons of change my way of thinking and handling my mind whenever the pressure is getting too high, but it's easier said than done.

I keep telling myself that if people around me just started asking if there's something bothering me I could easily start talking about it, and that way get a lot of steam off my mind. But just like with most problems the steps that makes the change possible is the ones that you take yourself.

As you know I think a lot and I want to listen to many opinions as possible. So I thought I'd give you a  hint what I will talk in my blog/portfolio/website as soon as it's finished.

You see it everywhere: Piercings, Tattoos or/and colorful hair.
I follow some hairblogs on tumblr (lovelydyedlocks.tumblr.com, fyhaircolors.tumblr.com) and I see beautiful girls, scene hair, piercings and tattoos. It seems like a stereotype to me but those blogs make me adore those girls.
I love colorful hair. My faves are pastel colors, pink, purple and white/silver hair. Those blogs have a ask feature too and so I read many questions on dying and problems with a job.
There it is: Problems with getting a job.
Do you think those things are the reason why you don't get a job? Well to me -as a customer- it make a person who help me at a shop or something even more sympathic. I maybe can talk about her/his tattoos...that they look beautiful or great. The same to piercings or colair (my shortcut for colorful hair xD). I think when people are interested it makes a good feeling to both of the persons. I would love to have a crazy ass doctor with tattoos and piercings!
I also think the WORK you do has nothing to do with the look. If you are good at something and do your job great, I don't see anything wrong hiring such a person.
Of course there are some looks I really don't like or some piercings I could run away...or tattoos who make me think why this person does it. But I see all of them as an ART. You can like it, or not. It's the same with food: you don't like all food but there are kind of food you adore. I think it's the same way here.
I am for all of those things. Some of the people out there think not as open as I do, but I hope this will change soon. I want to have a job, where everybody accepts me as I am. With a Tattoo (which I will get) and with a Piercing. My colair are extensions which I can put out so I have normal brown hair again. Picture may follow.
I hope you know what I wanted to say.

                                                    xoxo Valia

I miss those days
where i could smile,
but the sadness stings,
and the pain is vile.

It haunts my thoughts,
and tortures my dreams.
A plague that rots,
while slashing the seams.

It has torn pieces from me,
and scattered them apart.
It has possessed my dreams,
and destroyed my heart.

I long for the nights
that were full of bliss
and my dreams would glow,
after a goodnight kiss.

Those days are long gone,
and so are the nights.
The sadness still lingers
but my hope... It still fights.

So for those of you who know me in real life.

I feel like lately my group of friends has been like treating me like crap.

I'm really serious here.

I feel like the unwanted friend of the group.

Like I am always less than everyone else.

And I feel like my drawings, Writings, Etc. are like crap to everyone except for like 2 people most.

and you know....that hurts your confidence...

thinking that your best...just isn't good enough.

And I feel that some people just don't get how my personality is...

Yes, I can get obnoxious.

Yes, I can get a little bitchy.

Yes, I make fun of everything.

But that doesn't mean you have to go and make me feel more depressed than I already am.

I also feel there is an unfair bias in my group of friends at school.

like guys, its ok to like someone's stuff, but when someone else has something they want to show you just don't blow them off.

that's what I feel is happening to me. and I'm sorry for like any of you people who read this and did nothing to me ever in my life.

I just reaaaaally had to put this out there.

Recently, there's a lot of things that I have dealt with. I've think that I had a break through in myself. I always wanted to get it out and didn't know how, but I have found one person who have made me thought hard about it. This person really taught me to speak for what I believe in. I do believe and I do dream but the material for it is so hard to find. I feel like I've fallen hard and I've been on my knee literally begging for someone to help. But no one can, but it doesn't mean I will give up. I just hope that one day accomplished what I always wanted to accomplished! people will know who I am, even if it takes millions of years, and into the next life. I will at least get my message out there. Maybe many of you want to give up and decided that you made a big mistake, but take a long good thinking about it, and ask yourself; Who Am I?