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I am stronger than my emotional and physical scars.
I am stronger than my past.
I am stronger than my disorder.
I am stronger than my depression.
I am stronger than my anxiety.
And I am stronger than their judgments.

Guess what!

So are you.

Don't give up.
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Mon Feb 3, 2014, 5:52 PM
she told me i had soft palms,
i said yeah but i've got a hard
heart, because when

i was young i got given
two goldfish, and one day the
big ate the little

and that's when i learnt i'd
be fucked by the world, it would
do the same thing to me too

(i heard the language of evil and i started to speak it, saw the actions of evil and i started to be it)

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Sun Mar 23, 2014, 4:27 PM
if these
walls could
then i'm sure
they'd be
get out,
burn us
we can't
to hold you

(been too busy dreaming to get any sleep)

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For my friend :icongabisakura:


Sunlight comes creeping in
Illuminates our skin
We watch the day go by
Stories of all we did
It made me think of you
It made me think of you

Under a trillion stars
We danced on top of cars
Took pictures of the stage
So far from where we are
They made me think of you
They made me think of you

Oh lights go down
In the moment we're lost and found
I just wanna be by your side
If these wings could fly
For the rest of our lives

I'm in a foreign state
My thoughts they slip away
My words are leaving me
They caught an aeroplane
Because I thought of you
Just from the thought of you

Oh lights go down
In the moment we're lost and found
I just wanna be by your side
If these wings could fly
Oh damn these walls
In the moment we're ten feet tall
And how you told me after it all
We'd remember tonight
For the rest of our lives

If these wings could fly

Oh lights go down
In the moment we're lost and found
I just wanna be by your side
If these wings could fly
Oh damn these walls
In the moment we're ten feet tall
And how you told me after it all
We'd remember tonight
For the rest of our lives
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Sun Feb 2, 2014, 5:15 PM
how am i feeling? well today
i'm a phoenix, doc, here get me
an ash tray i'll show you

and please i just wanna sleep
like lena does, i got a brain
like a ten ton weight

(and i'm still holding what's dead because no one else can carry it, and i can't get into bed until i find somewhere to bury it)

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  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Ashbury Heights - Unbearable Beauty
  • Reading: Her texts...over and over again.
  • Watching: Supernatural
  • Playing: Faster Than Light
  • Eating: Chocolate bar
  • Drinking: Water
Self-harm isn't always about harming yourself physically.
Very often it's also about mental harm, in some cases all about mental harm.

I for one have never ever cut myself, even though I've played with the thought.
But for many years I've harmed myself with my own mind.
Digging deep mental holes in which I tried to bury myself when I couldn't handle all the chaos going on.

A lot of times I've harmed myself by forcing myself to not make myself heard when what I really needed was someone to speak to.
Ignored friends when they tried to reach out and help me. And then coming back and begged for help just to repeat the same damn mistake over and over again.

I don't do shit like that very often anymore. But sometimes I just can't do any better than close every possible way into my heart and mind, and just shut everyone out. Even close friends that I care about. They who care about me.

In the long run, and most of the time in the short run too, it's nothing else but self destructive. Obviously I need to make tons of change my way of thinking and handling my mind whenever the pressure is getting too high, but it's easier said than done.

I keep telling myself that if people around me just started asking if there's something bothering me I could easily start talking about it, and that way get a lot of steam off my mind. But just like with most problems the steps that makes the change possible is the ones that you take yourself.
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Cosplay makeup tips!

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 9, 2011, 11:18 PM

Here's some tips on cos MAKEUP!
These are my recommended things to do with your make up you don't have to read this!


Use sugar and honey on your lips before anything! Combine a little bit of honey and lots of sugar in a small container, and then rub it on! It really does help with the overall look, nobody likes cracked lips yuck! Lols After you do that use a CHAPSTICK, NOT LIPGLOSS, then lipstick or whatevers.

If you're a girly girl use a shimmer over pink lipstick (ex. Lolitas/ Dolly/ Fairy Kei)
Little bit of red blended for general girl cos lol.
NUDE lipstick for crossplaying boys! (Or concealer)
Deep red or black for more dramatic characaters.

If you have more thick eyebrows: Use concealer first then wait for it to dry a little. After put on white glue, nontoxic, NO SUPER GLUE. After, trace your eyebrows using watercolors or eyeliner. In heat, this method won't wear off!
If you have more thin eyebrows: Use a little glue on the insides of your eyebrows. After it's dry-ish eye shadow should work best.
How I got my white eyebrows: I did a mixture of both of them, first glue, then I put on concealer on the outsides of my eyebrows. I used white eyeliner to trace my eyebrows and filled it in with white eye shadow.

Uneven skin tones on your face:
Argh, so many on my face lol! I personally dislike concealer on my face because it is too thick for my skin to handle. First I put on a tinted moisturizer. Then my ugly blotches are disappeared by using SMALL amounts of under eye concealer. Before putting on powder, make sure it's 100% dry!

Here is the colors I go by:
Wig – Color eye shadow

Pink – Grey
Green – Pink
Blue – Green
Red -  Black
Brown – Blue
Black – White
Purple – Yellow
Yellow/Blonde – Brown
Grey/White – Red
Orange – purple

I hope this helps! :D
Thanks for reading. :huggle:

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Thanks to everyone who entered!

Hello everyone!

We are hosting another contest yet again, with some brilliant prizes to get your hands and hooves on!

This time the subject of the contest is Mystery, a very underestimated background character.

Mystery Mint by SJArt117

What you need to do:

Create any form of art featuring her.

That's it.


But here's the Rules:

:bulletblue:No copying other people's entries. Collaboration is allowed if you don't mind your prize points being split equally between every person involved (rounded up =P).

:bulletblue:No Bases. No Recolors. No Tracing. No Exceptions.

:bulletblue:You must follow the group rules. They apply.

:bulletblue:You can have up to 3 entries!

:bulletblue:All submissions must be in by November 20thth.

:bulletblue:You ABSOLUTELY MUST post a link to your entry on this journal post. We might not find it even if you submit to the group. You are not entering this contest without posting a link to your entries here. It’s vital, you see! Very vital! There's also this group :iconmylittlemystery: which is brand new and needing deviations of her. ^^


:bulletyellow:1st place: 600 :points: and a Three Month Premium Membership from :iconsjart117:

:bulletyellow:2nd place: 300 :points: from :iconsjart117:

:bulletyellow:3rd place: 100 :points: from :iconsjart117:

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Weekly 100 Points Giveaway - Week 8[CLOSED]

Journal Entry: Wed Sep 11, 2013, 4:54 AM

Sorry, I couldn't log in yesterday . ^^;

Congratulations! :D

Giveaway Week 8 by 2kaze


Alright people :la: it's time for another one.

Better later than never :iconfeelingfreeplz:

Last giveaway was the last one with bonus :points:, so now we are going back to 100:points: a week.

There will be 4 winners ( 25 Points each ) on this giveaway.

It's easy to participate :iconmikulaplz:

Bullet; Red+fav This journal

:bulletred: Share your favorite "plz account" :dummy:

And that's it :iconfeelingfreeplz:

The winners will be announced september 18, good luck everyone :la:

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Get up... by Ilmadur

Optimus walked out into the noon day sunlight, a fresh blanket of snow covered everything in white.
Looking back he saw his mate, Megatron sleeping soundly. He let out a quiet purr and took of into the sky.

Optimus flew for a few miles looking for food for him and his mate to share. It being the winter months
food was scarce and it was imperative for Optimus to find food, as mating season was just around the bend.
Optimus knew that Megatron became angry during this season, from being the slightest bit hungry.
Something on the ground attracted his attention, a small brown lump among the white, A deer!
Slowly the red and blue dragon circled the spot of trajectory.

Optimus swooped into a steep dive, and when he reached his target, he lashed out his sharp jaws aiming
towards the neck of his prey. Quickly he ended the life of the deer in a swift flick of the jaw. Optimus picked up the deer
in his claws and pumped his wings and flew into the air. Suddenly out of nowhere his head was bashed to the side.
Optimus began to plummet towards the ground, in decent he released the deer form his clutches.

Optimus hit the ground on his back, temporarily knocking the breath from his body. Whilst trying to regain his composure
the deer landed on his lungs, making it even harder to regain his breath. Out of his blurry vision, he could see a fuzzy outline of another dragon,
one composed of black, purple, and silver.

"Who are you?"

A devious chuckle came through the silence.

"What a foolish prime, to stray from his mate's side..."

Optimus quickly regained his air and slowly stood up, shaking the cold snow from his scaled skin.
Glancing up he saw one dragon he had not wished to see.

"Starscream! What do you want!?!?"

"Nothing much, just your destruction, and the gain a larger amount of territory!"

"I won't allow you to steal any of our territory Starscream, not now or ever!"

"Oh, we'll see about that."

Optimus took a fighting stance, as did the high-strung opponent.

Optimus lashed out towards Starscream, he claws within inches of Starscream's hind-quarters. Starscream counter attacked
lashing out with his claws meeting with Optimus's right hip. The prime faltered, skidding backwards as the blow sent him flying.
Glancing back he saw long, deep gashes across his scales, and it was already seeping blood.

Optimus turned back towards his opponent, but found him nowhere.
All of a sudden he felt a sharp object pierce the skin on his neck.
Optimus let out a roar of pain, as he fell to the ground below.
He could feel a heavy weight lighten than fall back down brutally.
The sharp objects dug into his throat, piercing his wind-pipe.

Optimus gasped as liquid began to flood his lungs. Starscream chuckled as he lifted himself off of the prime, and beat his wings higher into the sky.
"Sorry I couldn't stay to see the aftermath, but I have other important things to do!" He shouted to the felled prime.

As Starscream flew off into the distance, Optimus gained as much strength as he could muster and began to beat his wings.
Optimus raised into the air, barley making it over the tree-line.
He flew for a mile, making it just to the edge of their territory.
Optimus's wings gave out immediately, sending him into free fall.
Optimus rammed into the ground and let out an ear-piercing scream.

A scream awoke the slumbering dragon whom was in the den.
As he looked to his left he was startled by the disappearance of his mate.
He than calmed himself noting that the young dragon liked to hunt, to please his mate.
Megatron smiled at the thought of Optimus strutting into the den with a deer in tow.

But a scream like that did not sound like a deer or a familiar kind of prey at all.
This sounded like a wounded dragon, and it was terribly close to the edge of Optimus's and his territory.
Megatron decided that Optimus would surly stop to help an injured dragon, making him slightly late.

Megatron had waited for three hours, this was the longest the prime had ever stayed away.
And it was beginning to grow dark, he decided he would go and search for his mate.


Megatron flew across the snow filled sky, searching the ground below until he saw a large spot of red among the pure white color. 
Megatron flew closer and noticed the red/blue colors scheme of the dragon inside of the red puddle. 
Megatron chocked on his own tears, as he smelled the smell of blood, the smell of Optimus's blood.
The worried grey dragon plummeted his claws into the ground and began to run towards the nearly unconscious prime.

As he made his way closer, he slowed his pace. Reaching a single step as he arrived at the primes side.
"Op...Optimus, What happened, TELL ME!"

The prime glanced back, not able to raise his head. He coughed, spewing yet more blood across the white landscape.

Megatron felt a tear run down the side of his face as he gazed at the lashes on Optimus's rear, as well as the ones piercing his neck.

"Oh Optimus..."

Megatron laid himself down next to the ailing prime.
He covered the primes cold body with his large wing, trying to insulate the heat.
Slowly he began to lick his mates face, blood spewed over every inch of his body.
The cold began to set in, causing the dying prime to shiver.
"Easy Optimus, stay still. Let me warm you..." Megatron soothed as Optimus began to droop his eyes.
Megatron started a small flame near Optimus's head.

The flame made no difference in the primes condition.
He began to shake more violently, hypothermia setting in.
Megatron pulled the prime in closer, wrapping his wing tighter.
Optimus began to shutter, his breaths becoming shaken.

Megatron leaned in and licked the primes muzzle as his eyes froze,
his body shook no more, and he felt no more pain.
Megatron leaned his head closer, whispering in Optimus's ear, "Get up Optimus... please... Get up..."
Megatron began to mutter these words aimlessly knowing that the prime had already died, but he
kept on mumbling hoping, praying that his mate would rise up and walk again.

art by: Ilmadur

story by: Me
Ilmadur had created the image you saw above...
he/she said that they would appriciate it if somebody would write a story to the picture.

I did so graciously, so I now present you this!!!
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