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I miss you, even though I pretend that I don't. It hurts just to be awake, just to breathe this air... I don't know if I can keep this facade up for much longer. I tried. But despite all my efforts, you still decided I just wasn't enough. Now you're already with HIM and expect it to not hurt me even more? I- I hate you... I hate you and our memories...
-
This is a very heavily adapted existing piece in my gallery. It originally had six quatrains and was also orginally titled "Document 5" [link] (Yes, that was on purpose - completely different story though) but, I decided to retitle to "Beautiful Disaster" because it's catchy and more relatable. This is/can be about a serious break-up or divorce or whatever you want to call it. This was written a while ago, I simply adapted it to this typographic background. I don't really feel like this, but if you do, my heart goes out to you with care :heart:

The font that I used is called "Old Dreams".

Background Image: Google Images
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I hate that there will always be
A lingering regret
An ache set so deep inside me
I cannot forget

I turned away as my thoughts strayed
“What chances have I missed?”
I don’t want one more regret
To add among the list

I need to know what could’ve been
What could become of this
I’ll take my chances, no regrets
For just one kiss…

Between what I feel and I say
Is what I don’t understand
You say it’s better this way
This is not what I had planned

I watched as you just walked away
“What chances have I missed?”
I’ll add just one more regret
To the top of the list

I need to know if you can see
There was something more to this
I’ll take my chances, no regrets
For just one kiss…

To taste your kiss…


Just one kiss…
Is that too much to ask..?
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So this is something new. I think I'll start writing my poems like this. This one was just an abstract practice round. If I decide to continue doing this for my poems, the backgrounds and font will pertain more to the poem itself.

Please, let my know your thoughts on this piece. Anything that you feel could be improved (besides my misspelling of 'somebodies' ene), I would love to know. Thank you <3

This is my 'To Do' list. What's yours?

I would like to thank Google Images for the background. Thank you Google. You make all of our lives easier <3
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Like verbal synesthesia,
    snap
       crackle
         pop

in my head.
Words go

bang bang bang

and all I think are flashes.

Computer fans are white noise
and clicking keys a melody.
I sleep on piles of books
and tell myself bedtime stories
that never, ever end.
It's the same one, every night.
  over
     and over
       and over
         and over
           and over.......

I edit, even in my head.

One color brings four hundred synonyms to mind
and the feeling of fabric is like a burst of light.
Looking at a photograph is often over whelming,
and all I want to do is know what
they were thinking,
not what I am.

It's a curse and a blessing,
on a wing and a prayer,
and a hundred other cliches
that will never go away.

Here's to the over active imagination
that won't stop finding the meaning in everything.
I don't know how to describe what it's like to be inside my head,
so I thought I'd write an auto-biographical
poem instead.
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When you get into an arguement with the one you love and it ends bitterly, it's hurts. But you both think that you are the one who is rght. So you both hurt. You both of you hurt and, sometimes, it is a meaningless pain that plagues your body and mind. But why suffer through that just to make a point that will only be forgotten? Why not just be the bigger person? Why not just forgive them and apologize..? It is one thing to love someone, but an entirely different thing to be loved by someone.

This is another adapted poem from my gallery. "I'm Sorry, Darling." [link] I retitled to "Roses Are Forgiving" to be more appropriate. Perhaps some of you will appreciate this: By presenting somebody with a rose, it is socially defined as a presentation of love, compassion, caring, sympathy, companionship, and so forth. That is why I chose this title and this picture. Because Roses Are For Giving.

The font that I used is called "Beyond Wonderland".

Background Image: Google Images.
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Do you fear your own death?
Is it hard to conceive?
Draw in your last breath, then-
Your last breath will leave.

Isn't it strange to think,
That there's a timer above your head?
A countdown you can't see,
That finishes when you're dead.

Don't you ever wonder,
What it'll be like when you're gone?
I bet the world will keep on spinning.
There will be another dawn.

But the harsh reality behind it-
We're all going to die.
There's no reason to try to fight it
Not even to question why.

It makes me wish that I could have a little more to give,
Because I'm not afraid of how I'll die...

I'm afraid of how I'll
Live...
The one certain thing about everybodies life is that we will all eventually reach death. And death can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people. The important thing is to make sure that when death arrives, we feel as though we've accomplished everything that we were meant to do with our time on this wonderful green/blue, life sustaining planet of ours.

I just hope that I'll be that ready
Whenever my time actually -does- come...

And I hope that you will be too.
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Let me tell you this my friend
And I will tell you no more
If my passion is your crime
Then your love should be my law

I’m the exception to the rule
And the end of this blood line
I should hang my head in shame
I am repulsive by design

Allow me to elucidate
And I will tell you no lie
I am charged with being charmless
And I have no alibi

Feloniously you broke my heart
One chamber at a time
Though I’d expect nothing less
I am repulsive by design

Beware of the broken hearted
Indeed consider with caution
Repulsion cleansed my sorry soul
Such a spiritual abortion

But when a full term of sorrow
And low self esteem combine
I still remain unloveable
I am repulsive by design
7x
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I used your words to form an apology
Because I didn’t know another way
To make you acknowledge me

But I’m still here, you know

As much as I was a year ago


I’m going in blind and taking shots in the dark
But I’m pulling every word from the bottom of my heart
I’ve had a lot of time to see things straight
You’re someone that I love, that I could never hate
That’s why every time I tried forgetting about you
I couldn’t force myself to do what I had to do

Now I can see your pain, I’m sorry I put you through it
If there was one thing I could change
You know that I would undo it
I don’t want to live, I don’t want to breathe
The reason we’re like this is all because of me

I don’t want you to be yet another closing door
You think I could care less, darling, I couldn’t care more

Take away from this all the evidence you need
I miss you just as much as you say you miss me
I want this forced silence to come to a shattered end
I want to have you back. But I’ll be a better friend.
That I still feel this emptiness.

That I never wanted to let go.

That I tried to let you live your life and be happy without me.

I know. I'm sorry.

I was just hoping, too...
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An echoing silence.
Haunts my bones,
I hate this feeling.
Of being alone.

An emptiness,
That I cannot fill.
I do not have the strength,
Nor the will.

What I've longed for,
Has gone and changed,
To form a monster,
One so strange.

I do hate,
What you have become.
You try and impress,
Everyone.

I hate myself,
For messing up,
One too many chances.
It's just my luck.

So I'll give up,
On thoughts I had.
It was just a trend,
A new found fad.

So many lies,
I'll fill my head.
Though it will haunt me,
Till I'm dead.

Even though I'm angry,
And though I am in pain.
It's not you,
Who I blame.

Being alone,
Is a pain I can't bear,
And though you're not who I want.
I still wish you were.
This is something that has been eating at me for ages, it's always there.
Sometimes other emotions will come and take its spot, but it's always there under my skin.
So when there's someone who that I've had feelings for, for a long time. Then the person changes, due to meeting new people who change him. So I realise that he isn't the same person, and I tell myself that he's not the one. It hurts, but it passes.
Then one day I'm sitting and he comes over, barely makes eye contact with me and I get a heavy feeling. That you miss it all, that feeling of butterflies when he's around the playful teases. Everything.
Now he's a different person, a stranger.
That's what hurts the most.
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*Accidentally bumps into you*

-What I said-
Oh, I’m so sorry..!

-What I meant-
I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand
Cause even though I do the very best that I can
I can’t face this world alone
There’s too much I don’t understand

*Accidentally holds your hand*

-What I said-
Is everything alright?

-What I meant-
What should I do if I can’t tell between
The reality of life or if it’s just a dream?
I can tell the world is real enough
It’s just not as pretty as it seems

*Accidentally hugs you*

-What I said-
Are you okay?

-What I meant-
I guess I never wanted to believe
That something I helped create
That I thought was more than beautiful
Could be so capable of hate

*Accidentally kisses you*

-What I meant to say instead-
So prove me wrong
And say it’s not too late
Or too bad, or no good and that
There’s still room for one more clean slate

Because another second chance is what everybody needs
I know the world is ugly but beauty lies underneath
And if we can figure out how to set our differences apart
Maybe that would be a great way for amends to finally start

Just.
Prove to me that the world is still alive
And I’m not the only person who doesn’t want to watch it die.
This is an experimental piece. I doubt it's an original idea, but the style is what I'm experimenting on, as is the mood. I attempted to mix two things I think are very difficult to have together. That is, I was aiming for a mood of adorable and serious. So, tell me what you think? Is it at least an interesting concept?
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