Only When I WriteThe drama unfurling in my life
Feels like the shadow of my hand
That grows as it comes ever closer
To the light perched on my bed stand
In that I can feel the darkest cloud
Ever such a menacing sight
In time I can reverse the feeling
But only when I write
Seclusion left me with nothing
Apart from creativity
Loneliness it turns out, my friends
Is quite the aperitif
For the feast that is awaiting me
If I make it through the night
Tomorrow always brings me new hope
But only when I write
You approach me on a good day
And I will offer you a smile
The same expression on the worst days
Because my manners are so mild
But don’t take me for a toothless fool
When cornered I’ve been known to bite
Fear not, those demons remain at bay
But only when I write
DepressionThis feeling, it pollutes my very coreDepression2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
Leaving it rotted and tearing apart piece after piece.
It is a black thing, corrupting everything it brushes against
Leaving me in a will drained state.
Depression; a tired rage or sadness
No one has come to understand.
A flash of pain follows every thought of family and friends,
Leaving me with my head in my hands begging for an end.
I have not a single word, not a flick of my tongue;
That can even come close to describing how I feel.
My whole body feels like it is cracking into pieces
Planning to leave me as nothing more than a face smiling in a frame.
I’ve turned all that I loved against me,
Now ‘tis the time I answer for my crimes;
I can feel my mind falling into an un-savable saddened depth
Its swimming in my skull trying to find a way to drown itself.
I don’t know why depression in habits one’s being,
Nor do I understand how it has come to be
But it corrupts,
And destroys all that is dear to me.
AloneYou stand alone, and hope that someone will join you.Alone2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
Looking back over your shoulder you see your friends, laughing.
You wonder if any of them even realize you're ten feet away,
Staring at the sky.
None of them think like you.
If they did, they would be right beside you, gazing at the sky in silence.
No one ever has.
It's always only you.
Sometimes you wonder what it would feel like if someone actually wanted to always be
standing with you- away from the group.
They're all your friends, but you feel if someone actually followed you to be an "outcast,"
you would form a permanent bond with them.
But of course, if they knew you desired for them to join you,
That would defeat the purpose.
It would ruin the test.
That's why you can never let anyone know.
You have to bear this aching emptiness in silence, because to tell someone your deepest hope,
Well, they might do it out of pity, and then
the moment would never truly exist.
Perhaps, if you are lucky, one day it will be a boy who notices
IntroductionsHear me read itIntroductions2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
I take my valium with cola, I'm a very complex lady.
Full of contradictions. I sometimes always answer vaguely.
If you ask me how I am, you better know I'll always lie
and if I fall in love with you, you're probably gonna die.
Life's not always kind to me, I try to stay upbeat
but please don't ask me how I am if I cry in the street.
I don't like to be looked at, I hate to be ignored,
I'm right, you're wrong, so be prepared for a broken record.
I stick up for the little guy, unless that guy is me
and if I do you a favour then I'd never charge a fee
I'm really bad at rhyming, but I think you kinda guessed
whoops, I'm sorry, backtrack now, I guess that I transgressed.
I'm sugarly sweet but bitter, I think that hope's a noose
I'm funny and outgoing, but somehow a recluse.
People mistake sweetness for weakness, I tell them I don't mind
I can run rings around you without being unkind.
Generally I'd have to say, I'm not my bigges
The meaning of x is not Algebra, Patrick!“Tell me the meaning of life” she said cradling the phone between her shoulder and her ear. She allowed her tongue to form questions her mind hadn't formulated yet; she was tired. She turned onto her side and moved the phone onto the other ear to give the left ear time to cool off. When her ears started burning she knew they’d been talking too long.The meaning of x is not Algebra, Patrick!2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
“Are you still there?” she asked, eyes open staring out into the darkness. Her brain molded furniture from memory, traces of a life lived in the daylight, but her eyes saw nothing but the faint etchings of a truth – and they wanted something more. She grasped for it; “Patrick?”
“’m here” came the reply. It fizzled through the sound of agitated wiring and she relaxed into her pillow at the sound. “You went quiet on me” she noted with an amused tone. “I was surprised that you expected me to know the meaning of life off the top of my head” he challenged w
harmonizei'm built on broken bones and metronomesharmonize3 years ago in Scraps More Like This
her alto trills, his hollow tones
a second verse she'll never know
so sweet and sweet and down we go
the cords stretch and scratch but never match
the off beat tears he'll surely catch
the droplets lead a song of their own
recorded on heartstrings, a song i know
his words they ring and the hurt they bring
it's been so long but i choose to sing
and maybe he'll hear the music we make
( it's been so long but i choose to break. )
At leastYou were there when I slippedAt least2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
Something inside just skipped
The ground fell from beneath me
And I fell into the sea
My world dimmed and numbness set in
Water choked me and I forgot how to swim
My body got cold
And death had a hold
But you were there underneath me
You were where you needed to be
Your breath kept me warm
You made me glad I was born
I felt your heart beat
And finally found my feet
Maybe I'm not strong
But at least I have you to help me along
what I wrote instead of an essay I vaguely remember dreaming last night about being in a brightly but sadly lit gas station in the middle of the night, and the world felt so big and I was naked in the face of it- nothing to lose, a whole night of things to experience. There was something so stark and lonely about that bright gas station light, a kind of uncomfortable blankness. But that's what I crave, isn't it? I crave that unpleasant yet indescribably desirable feeling of the shedding of security blankets; the security of my house, of everyone I know, of my routine and my ideas about what my life is going to be- everything I've been wrapped up in all these years that now stifles me. But it was only a dream, and it brings me no joy now that the memory is warped with my disappointed hyper-awareness of the fact that it wasn't real. Left over from that dream is only a sense of longing; the fingerprints of a lover, gracing a windowpane after the night is over and I sigh, looking out the window at thewhat I wrote instead of an essay2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
ForcesIt is true that a spark of flame can bring light and warmth.Forces2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
It is true that a breath of wind can bring cool and comfort.
It is true that a drop of water can bring life and nourishment.
It is true that the smallest seed can bring a thing of beauty and grace.
But then why is it:
A roaring fire causes destruction?
A twisting gale brings chaos?
A towering flood crushes lives?
A tectonic plate makes the earth quake?
Each a thing of Life, but each a thing of Death, just as we choose to be one or the other, the forces of the world show our true nature.
Nature may not have an option...
But you do.
AloneI will surrender toAlone2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
I will depend on
I belong to
Only to the
Darkness and the
I am alone.<b>