And he said there's no tryingI've changed my words so muchAnd he said there's no trying2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that they spread across my skin like lace,
like fabrics that won't cover my innocence
and even when I peel them away, I don't look any better.
Cold tea and cold fingertips and everything
became a winterland and I've been spending so much time
swaddled in my own sheets made of bombs and bonds and
so much of the uprooted pasts that I don't even know
what time of day it ever truly is.
And with blood clots along my chest and fevers in the bath,
I hold on to the ceramic versions of who I think I am;
mirrors and broken tiles and empty cups of creativity.
I brood over my inability to hold these fragments
so that even if they're never placed right again,
they'd still all be there.
I've changed my tears so much
that I don't recognize them in the flooded lands
and with desperation, I traipse through them blindly,
seeking myself but hoping it is changed too.
Ennui -c-Here's where things got hazy:Ennui -c-2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you talked about pulling the stars closer
because the bigger they got, the less insignificant you felt.
I presumed it was because I called you mine.
Bottle caps and paper punchers
were the things we made love on when you decided
to live life more dangerously.
Indentions were made on my skin and not by
your touch, but by distractions - carefully planted, unlike
the way you used to kiss me. Your lips
lost instinct, but still tasted as they always had; soft
and pure, in the way no one else before me understood.
Maybe simplicity pulled you from me.
Or maybe you felt like I was too easy,
too predictable, and my endless sunday morning-coffee
overdosing lifestyle didn't feed your fingers the words
you'd slam into the typewriter. Maybe you really needed me
to anger you into spiraling verses,
until you realized that we spilled the words on the floor
and never bothered to pick them back up.
I feel like I've finally learned you, or possibly
unlearned what I'd taught
TorrentsI retain you and swell at the lungs,Torrents2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I cover up the stretch marks around my thighs
when you've gone away.
Through historic hikes
and around seaside wars, I lay us
like home-bound sighs awaiting the brewed catastrophes
that bring us together.
We crash onto each other's decaying bones
like territorial waves
and I keep myself against your billows, feeding off your breaths,
barely alive on my own.
We are undulating whispers,
white noise.sometimes i turn off the greasy yellow lights and run the water lava hot.white noise.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the quiet porcelain is an untouched coffin
familiar as the look in your eyes.
i can hear my heart beat in my ears
and i stare at the ceiling until it darkens and blurs at the edges.
my body is heavy as lead
i cannot remember the weight of movement.
sometimes the closest i can get is the suicide between each breath
and the apology unspoken on the inhale.
my skin is a ladder i keep climbing,
i can see through the rungs to the fat cells that weigh down my bones.
my hand becomes his when it creeps uninvited over the landscape of my body
and across the staircase of my ribs.
i can't erase the feeling of his body pressed like a book
over my flower.
my head is white noise that bleeds red,
but i'm tired of all the blood.
tired of all the memories like channels
i keep flicking past.
sometimes i wonder if i cut enough slack in my skin,
SeashineSacred skinSeashine2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
where heavens and ocean
an imprint on salted lungs
of aching, of
a moonlit yearning upon the
summergirlNow read aloud over here. Do give it a listen, won't you?summergirl2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you are crowthroated and tumbling
through the aspen grove
hair on fire with sunrise, lungs
full of sky.
eyelashes like wildflowers
and every morning brings
a new spray of freckles
and a sharper curve to your collarbones.
the cornfields hold no shadows
for your lighthouse eyes
and there are no endings in that
ii. you have grown
autumn finds you with broken ankles
leaning on an oak branch
and watching the skies.
crow to sparrow--you are quiet.
summergirl, there is peace in silence,
fallen antlers in your hands.
you will come to mourn your deer.
keep them close.
iii. by winter you have paled,
and like the streams
your eyes have frosted over.
you feel the chill--
there is no need for sight.
I hope you are reading thisthe person I love loves music much too muchI hope you are reading this2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
and the person I love loves that I love the quiet and easy days
loves that I like to stay up late (or early) till the birds sing of morning and
the person I love loves that I love to hold hands and hold a body but only when I know them fully
and the person I love loves listening to my songs and listening to my voice and to my poetry and stories
the person I love has songs to share too and a voice that melts my heart and words that mold it back into something nostalgia old and inspired new
and the person I love loves to look around and take it in once in a while and wonders why we can’t just run away to a secluded place in the forest with a cabin that harbors all of our needs, keeps you and me in a space apart where it rains when we’re sad because we would always be sad together and where the sun is warm on our skin when we are smiling together and laughing together because I made a spectacular pun out of seemingly nothing sp
Satelliteit seems you wander aimlessly—Satellite2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like the white blinking light
between the branches of that dark tree
i see when i open the backdoor to smoke
another desperate cigarette—
orbiting so far in the distance that
i cannot fathom your purpose,
though you must serve one in the lives
Codeinei remember thinking of bruises as just visibleCodeine2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i thought it meant that i might be
fasterfaster and it wouldn't take so long
i remember you
and how effortless you would make dying sound.
and then there were some marks
i couldn't trace. and i wore them like garnets.
i wore me
until all i could remember
was how to mark at all.
AffannatoIf my ribs were weighted keys,Affannato2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'd play you an ocean song that tips you
right off the edge of the earth,
and clinging to my last phrase, you'd say
'what a tragedy, what a helpless dreamer,
such a beautiful pair of lungs gone to the dust'.
And night would hold us in that distant desperation,
playing our heartstrings so we couldn't keep up,
no, not with that soulful, off-tempo portrait
of who we could have let each other become.
I'll crawl back to bed on my bare boned knees
and when I wake to the black holes you've burned
into the sheets you and I were 'us' on,
I'll write you a desert song
about how I jumped off the edge of the earth
and you weren't there.
ConnotationsBetween pressed sheetsConnotations3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I am laid out before you
with spine splayed
and my soul bared.
I ache for your eyes to see my truths,
plead for your fingers to explore me;
turn me and grasp at my edges, my corners,
before folding me down, to mark the place
where you'll return.
Copyright © 2012 Jen Fowler
All Rights Reserved.
stillyou lust to make his long legs quiverstill2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like two blades of grass
heavy with morning dew
but you're the first frost of november.
DimensionsYou can't know how my bones have trickled themselvesDimensions2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
into fractured glasses on the sink
or the words I've slurred onto his freckled back
as he sleeps against my walls.
You don't remember the aches I filled up the spaces with
just so I could pretend to be whole for you
and you still talk about coffee like it's the cure
for it all; for you and for the us that never grew.
And some nights, I watch my hopeless thoughts
drift off like dust in the moonlight,
like fog around the tires of my immobility,
like the tiny particles of you I still keep in my drawers
so the rest of the world can't find the worst of you.
You can't know how easily I make the transition
from confident to helpless when you only know my smile
the way I know how unhappy you are by the shape of your brackets
or the length of time it takes you to write me back.
And you don't know how terrible it feels
to know someone like I know my scars and the timelines on my skin
who wishes they never knew me at all.
She Is DeathShe is Death,She Is Death3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but not Release.
She is Madness,
but with Purpose.
She is Malady,
She is Plague,
and her dance card is never as full
as the posies in your pocket,
or the stars in your eyes
[or the ashes in her hands.]
Worn Out Siren TalesI was once the moon-rippled, crystal clearWorn Out Siren Tales2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
disturbance at shore
and you found hope, resting
on the borders of
sand and wave.
When I moved, you breathed,
It just isn't worth it,
I was carved on ship hulls for a
and I was summoned from sleep to
drown myself in the clutches
of a sea that disowned me
for one too-
and I wrote on woody parchments
for more attention than
So when you moved, I stopped,
Tell me this is eternal,
I had not.
.a lover leaving his.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
home for another, a spark
that becomes a flame
to the gunman of a school shooting in newtown, CTthe black man on the television screen spits reform,to the gunman of a school shooting in newtown, CT2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but parents of dead children plea gun control in the
wake of the destruction of 20 children, 26 lives total.
adam, don't you realize it's christmas time & these
parents will be burying bones instead of caroling songs?
the black man on the television screen admits:
our heart is broken.
but there is no beauty in the unity that follows robbing
of innocence. adam,
you sprayed the school with bullets bursting into shrapnel
off the shattering skulls of children.
20 little bodies hauled off in white sanitation bags,
stained red with crusty blood and shouting mothers screaming
to the heavens.
there is nothing clean about the way 26 connecticut families
will be washing the salt water off their chapped cheeks eternally.
you drained them internally. in america,
to know change you must create it, but we have
a cabinet full of ornate teacups not willing to
blow the dust off their porcelain edges.
you'd think we'd learn from our mistakes, but adam
the speaking of hipshis vertebrae clickthe speaking of hips2 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
with mine, a slow symphony
and i am alive.
072i ached enough that day0722 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to salt the atlantic ocean
three time over
Love Bite, Fire FightWhen your virgin heart's been bittenLove Bite, Fire Fight3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
by a love that makes you burn,
with a voice from deep within
you sing your bliss without concern.
Once burned, twice shy,
afraid that love is just a lie.
You let your bleeding heart drip dry
and give it all another try.
voice trips across heartbeat,i want to anchor my spine inside your gravity.voice trips across heartbeat,2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
your smiles have been thinning down to pencil lines. there are no words between them. keep it that way so you can be a charcoal smear around my ribcage, so my body can become gray but still have color in the dead spaces you inhabit. we are both quiet. we sometimes have nothing to say.
you cannot practice tragedy, but it came to you in the white noise between our words. we do not know what we want. we are not decisive. we are young and our dreams are too big. we try not to talk about it.
you can buy sex if you want it, you can buy stars if your life is dark. you can let your knees hit the dirt but physics will not care and it will hurt more every time. you can let my eyes blink like the letters on your alarm clock at 3 a.m, but the abyss of a dark bedroom will not care if your lips part and you have nothing to say.
if we become the horizon, there will always be enough time. it is the only thing i can trust, the only thing i know lasts forev
The Science of LivingWe are water and ichor,The Science of Living3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
we are air and memoirs,
we are fire and ore
and clay struck by stars.
This is the science of living.
We are arsenic and porphyry,
we are helium and spirit,
we are mercury and malady
and neon and kismet.
This is the science of living.
We are roses and riot,
we are daisies and sanguine,
we are bracken and velvet
and amaranth and omen.
This is the science of living.